Chapter 18 #2
I stared at her for a moment, too afraid to ask anything at all. The onyx’s heat radiated through me a gentle reminder of my strength when everything around me felt so cold.
“Did you have a vision I crossed the divide?”
“Yes, I had a vision of someone crossing the divide. We knew you would come but didn’t know who you were.”
“You told him where to find me?”
“He sensed you before you crossed. He wasn’t sent there to wait for you. In fact, I told him not to go.”
My nose scrunched as my head pounded. “You didn’t want him to find me?”
“Honestly…” She exhaled as she slid her hands through her fire red locks. “No. I didn’t want him to go to you. We didn’t know who you were, or what dangers would await when you crossed the divide.” She shook her head. “Had I known it was you…I would have fought harder to keep him here.”
“Because I’m the Princess of Bailoc…or did you have another reason?”
“You’re the princess of our enemy. It’s why you all were hunted in the woods. It was what almost got him killed.” She squinted as the sun peeked into the dreary room.
I gulped. “Did he bring me here to restore the land?”
“Whatever reasons he brought you here are his. Why are you asking me this?”
“It’s just all…convenient, isn’t it?” I gripped the tea from the low table, chugging the hot liquid—letting it scald my throat.
“If you think he’s being convenient, you don’t deserve him. He’s risked everything for you.” She gripped her wrist tightly.
“You all say that, but what about what I’ve risked? What I will risk for him?”
Cora wouldn’t look at me. “I can't speak to what you’re willing to risk. You make those choices. I have known Lioran most of my life. He loves very deeply—his land, his people. He always puts everyone else first. I’ve watched him guard his feelings from everyone, including me, but he doesn’t with you. ”
The lump solidified in my throat.
“What happened that suddenly made you question him?”
“I’ve been advised not to trust Lioran.”
“Did Pyrran say that to you? He will stop at nothing to take the throne himself. He always undermines Lioran.”
“No, Lord Elric.” The scent of searing wood lingered in the air.
“Elric told you not to trust him?” Her nostrils flared and her eyes narrowed. “What did he say?”
“He wants me to believe he loves me so that I will save the land, because it grants him the best future.” I struggled to repeat the words.
Her hand shook as she spoke. “Elric’s words…”
“Unraveled me.” I said.
“Why did you tell Elric about your magic?”
“I didn’t. I thought Lioran told him.”
“He wouldn’t have.” An uneven breath escaped Cora’s lips before they tightened.
None of it made any sense. How could Elric have known any of it? Cora couldn’t answer all of my questions. She didn’t make me feel any better at all.
“I need to talk to him.” I didn’t want to. How could I ask him any of it?
She nodded as she rose. “You seem to have already decided what you believe. I’m not sure my words have any merit, but I know Lioran. He isn’t deceiving you.”
I paused at her words. “My heart is broken from the thought of it.”
It didn’t have to make sense to her.
Fyn and I waited for council to end. Lioran would emerge from the two slender wooden doors that stood before us and then just maybe I would know the truth. The wall cradled me as exhaustion crept in. The council room slowly emptied.
Elric was among the last to leave the hall. “My lady, good to see you again looking so…refreshed.” He smirked.
Fyn’s hand hovered over his sword hilt as he stepped in front of me.
“It must be tiring having no magic of your own, Fyn.” He ran his fingers through his silver hair. “Always having to be at the prince’s beck and call.” Fyn’s glare sharpened. He watched the door. Even when Elric left us, Fyn’s stance didn’t waver.
Lioran passed through the doorway. His eyes followed Fyn’s hand to the hilt of the sword, and his body stiffened. “Fyn?” Lioran’s eyes darted between us. “What happened?”
“Take her somewhere private,” Fyn whispered.
Lioran’s eyes narrowed. “Aelira?” His voice whispered my name, but I couldn’t respond.
I bit my lip instead.
Dozens of celestial patterns danced upon the ceiling of Lioran’s study—glowing from the flickering light of the hearth.
An unexpected calm settled within me as I looked up above at them.
For a moment, I was back in Bailoc, back in the silence of my chambers—where I used to look at an almost identical pattern of stars my mother had painted on my ceiling.
“What happened? Why was Fyn guarding you like that?” His voice quaked. I quietly stared at the ceiling. I didn’t want to ask him.
He reached for my hand, but I pulled away from him the moment he touched me. “You didn’t say anything the whole way here. You won’t even look at me. What happened?”
My heart splintered with Elric’s accusation. I hesitated a moment longer before I forced myself to ask him. The tears pooled as I struggled to ask what I needed to. “Do you love me?”
“Yes, I love you.” His eyes narrowed. “You know that. What does this have to do with Fyn? Tell me now. If the two of you…”
I shook my head as I stepped back from him. My eyes searched his, desperate for the truth behind his words.
“This isn’t about Fyn. It was never about Fyn,” I blurted.
His stance eased. “Then please tell me why you’re standing in my study looking at me like that...asking me if I love you.”
“You came to the wall looking for me. You knew I was there. Once you knew what my magic was you brought me here.”
“I told you. I sensed you.”
“Cora told you I would be there.”
“Yes. But why does that matter? I felt your presence—I found you.”
I inhaled, holding tight on the air—too afraid that my words would tumble with it.
“Someone told me you wanted me to believe you love me so I would restore your kingdom. That it’s all a lie.” The words cut even deeper as I spoke them.
His gaze narrowed. “Who told you that?” The brilliant silver in his eyes faded.
“I…”
The air grew thick around us. His anger leached into it. “Who are you confiding in?”
He never looked at me like that before.
He was broken, too.
Seeing him that way told me a truth I shouldn’t have attempted to uncover. He wasn’t lying to me. Elric was.
“Lord Elric.”
He grabbed a book off his desk and threw it at the wall. I flinched as the thud echoed. “Elric…and you believed him…you…” He shook with each word he spoke.
“You didn’t tell Pyrran that you loved me,” I snapped. “He said you couldn’t… and you didn’t tell him he was wrong.”
“Do you know what would have happened if I challenged him then? We discussed what he was doing. But still you’re standing in front of me accusing me of lying to you."
“I need to hear the truth—whatever it is.” My heart crushed under the weight of the words I uttered.
“The truth is that I’m standing in front of the only woman I’ve ever loved and she’s telling me that she doesn’t believe it.” His nostrils flared. “I don’t know what to do to make you believe me.”
He was telling the truth. I knew it then, but the damage had already been done. I sobbed. With a heavy exhale he paused. His glare faded as he wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m sorry,” he said before I could utter the apology I owed him. “I never thought you would question my love for you—that anyone else could get to you.” His breathing was rapid. “Why would you tell him about your magic? What else have you shared with him?”
“I thought you had. He knew so much about me from the day I met him.” My fingers ran through my hair. “If you didn’t tell him, who did?”
“I never thought anyone would love me for who I am. My father told me to hold my tongue. He condemned me for every pointed word I uttered. I spent all my years being the disappointment he tried to hide.”
His eyes softened as they met mine.
“My father and brother both feared that I would be so unlikable that Thalen would refuse to marry me. My brother told me to…” I couldn’t utter the words.
“To what?” His voice dropped.
I shook my head. “To tempt him…so he wouldn’t refuse me.” Agan’s words caught in my mouth. The memory of it sickened me.
“What?” His chest heaved as he stepped back from me. “Why would he do that?”
“My worth has only ever been measured by what I could offer Bailoc. Because…” The realization hit me again. “Maybe King Ardyn felt like it was what he was owed for having to deal with me.”
His lips opened and pressed closed again, as if he wanted to ask if I did. But he only shook his head.
“I would never use you for my own gain.” The tenderness of his voice trailed over me.
“I feel the storm trying to settle in you. I’ve felt it all day.
It took everything for me not to walk out of council and check on you.
When I saw Fyn there with his hand on the hilt of his sword, I nearly lost it. ” His piercing gaze met mine.
He leaned over me, his hand bracing himself against the door. My heart raced as his body towered over mine.
I sobbed as I pulled him closer until our lips met again. He reached for me; his hands settled on my waist—as if they were returning to where they belonged.
It felt familiar.
It felt safe.
“I am yours. Please. I need you to know that. To feel that.”
“And I am yours,” I whispered.
One storm settled, and another began.
I was falling deeper and faster than before.