Chapter 48
M elanie was a no-show, so I left the vial in the drawer and headed to training, where Serath was a no-show. Selas and Orix ran me through drills, and then we hit the gym for a workout that left me soaked in sweat.
“You did great,” Orix said. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”
My eyes heated because this was a huge compliment coming from Orix, who wasn’t impressed by anything. “Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”
“Serath would say the same if he was here,” Selas said.
The warm fuzzy feeling died. “Well, he isn’t here, and he didn’t train me. You guys did. I owe you.”
Selas’s mouth tightened. “Just pass the exam, and we’re square.”
Orix nudged Selas. “Can I ask her now?”
Selas chuckled. “Yes, you can ask her.”
“As elites, we get a day off every so often, and ours is tomorrow, but with everything that’s happened, we’ve decided we’ll take the evening off tonight instead. We’d like you to join us.”
“It’s a spontaneous trip, so no one will have had time to prepare an attack,” Selas said bluntly.
They were changing their time off so I could go with them? “I…Thank you. I’d be honored to hang with you.”
“Great!” Orix rubbed his hands together. “We leave in an hour.”
“Where are we going?”
“Asteria.”
* * *
I couldn’t leave for the evening without checking on Derek. I showered quickly and made my way to Yarrow’s quarters on the second floor of the main academy building. The tutors lived here, in what they called the residents wing. But there was no access without a swipe card.
I buzzed and waited.
The intercom crackled, and a male voice answered, “Yes?”
“Hi, it’s Cameron Basque. I’m here to see Mr. Yarrow?”
“Cam?”
“Levi?”
The door beeped as the lock released, and I pushed through into the corridor beyond to find Levi striding toward me.
“Willowman visited a half hour ago and administered some healing tincture, and Miss Aziza stepped out for a bite to eat,” he said.
“Is Derek awake?”
“In and out.” He studied me for a beat. “Are you all right?” The question was asked tentatively, almost as if he was no longer sure if he had the right to inquire.
“I’m fine. Just…tired.”
His expression softened in sympathy. “I know, Cam. I know.” He pressed his lips together for a moment, then exhaled through his nose. “We can still stop this.”
Huh? “Stop what?”
“You having to fight for elite.”
Bloody hell. Why wouldn’t he let it go? “I want to do this. I’ve made that clear.”
“But if I just—”
“Enough.” I shook my head and shoved past him. “I’m going to see Derek.”
“First room on the right,” Levi called after me, but thankfully, he didn’t follow.
* * *
Derek was propped up on several pillows, taking up most of the sofa bed.
Levi hadn’t been joking when he said that Yarrow had a room filled with crystals.
They were everywhere, in clusters on shelves and tables, and a couple of huge ones sat on the floor.
The room buzzed with energy that skimmed over my skin invasively.
“I’ll give you two some privacy,” Yarrow said before closing the door.
I crossed to Derek and knelt by the bed. “How you doing, buddy?” I covered his hand with mine. “I’m so sorry this happened.”
“Cameron?” He opened his eyes, but they were still a dull gray color, telling me he had a long way to go before he was fully healed. “I’m feeling better. No more pain.”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m so glad.”
“We can pass the exams.”
“You don’t need to worry about that. You need to focus on regaining your strength.”
“ You are my strength.”
“No, Derek. You’re mine. You always have been. I just didn’t know it. Please, promise me you’ll stay here and rest. That you won’t try to find me if you sense I’m in danger.”
He tried to sit up but groaned and fell back in pain. “I…I have to protect you.”
“No. No you don’t. Not at the expense of your life.”
He turned his hand so that our palms were touching. “ You are my life, Cameron. I would not exist if not for you.”
Is that what he thought? That he owed me?
That his life was worth less than mine? I wouldn’t allow that.
I leaned forward and gently gripped his chin.
“You listen to me, and you listen well. You do not owe me your life. Your life is yours. It matters. To me. To Shar. To us all. I want you to live, Derek. I want you to find your own happiness, not just cater to mine.”
Confusion clouded his gaze. “We are connected. I can’t ignore your fear.”
“You don’t have to ignore it. But you shouldn’t sacrifice yourself over it, either. Promise me that you’ll practice self-preservation from now on.”
He stared at me for long seconds then smiled. “Don’t you get it, Cameron? Saving you is self-preservation. You’re my tether. My anchor. But more than that…I love you.”
My throat constricted. Damn him with his words and his beautiful heart. “I love you too, buddy.”
“Then let me be me, the only way I know how.”
It wasn’t a request. “Fine. But not until you’re fully healed. Deal?”
“Deal.”
I left him as he was drifting back to sleep and found Yarrow in his small kitchenette sipping a cup of something.
“I just spoke to Derek, and he said something that I need to ask you about.”
Yarrow lowered his cup. “Go on.”
“He said that I was his tether. That self-preservation meant keeping me alive.”
Yarrow’s jaw ticked. “It would seem so.”
“I thought he was his own entity. His own person.”
“He is, or at least he will be once he believes in himself. Right now, if you die, he might cease to exist simply because he believes his existence is dependent on yours.”
“So he needs to believe it?”
“Belief is a powerful force. Derek was born of belief. Crafted out of need using imagination, and now he must exercise his own if he wishes to be free.”
“We have to help him. Can you work with him? Make him see that I’m not his tether?”
“If I do that, then he’d no longer be obligated to protect you.”
“I don’t care about obligation. I care about his life.”
He set his cup down and tucked in his chin. “It seems I’ve misjudged you, Miss Basque. I’ll do my best to find a solution.”
“Thank you.”
We were at the main door when a thought occurred to me. “Can you keep him here until after the exam?”
Yarrow looked down his nose at me, his golden eyes bright in his face. “You’re worried he’ll come to your aid and injure himself further.”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll do what it takes to keep him safe.”
That’s all I could hope for.