12. Sunnie
The month of May will forever be a month filled with a lot of pain. Starting with Hillary passing away at the beginning of the month. Then Zeek’s mom passed away days before Mother’s Day. Aleyah cut me out of her life. I was scared to ask what else could happen, but I dared not try to jinx myself. I don’t think I’ve gone a day without crying, a day without my eyes swollen and red. Outside of leaving for personal obligations centered on those deaths, I barely put on regular clothes and left the house. DoorDash and Uber Eats were making a killing off of my three-times-a-day ordering.
Life sucked.
“MaKenna called yesterday morning and canceled the shoot. She’s going to use her family for the new release instead, and she wanted me to make it very clear that her canceling wasn’t personal but of understanding. Are you okay with that?” Summer and I were having one of our weekly meetings.
Even though I haven’t done much of anything for my content creation platforms, I still had other businesses that were fully operational and running. I had monthly themed launches for my nail enhancement business that needed to be reviewed. Samples needed testing. Paychecks needed to be signed. Luckily, I was a hoarder of creating content. I had over eight months’ worth of content stored in my iCloud that my social media manager has been using. It worked out perfectly.
That was the only thing going right in my life.
“I have no choice but to be,” I answer flatly. “I get it. It’s the nature of the game. MaKenna has a business to run regardless of my misery. How are things on your end?”
Sighing, Summer stretched back on the lounge chair she was lying on and shrugged. “I’m coping. Life feels overwhelming. Breathing is a struggle and having a sound mind is nonexistent.” Whatever beach she was on, I heard the seagulls singing and waves crashing.
At the moment, I envied her.
She might not have the peace of mind she wanted, but at least constant sadness and depression did not surround her.
“Guess who I ran into while I was at the airport?” Knowing Summer, it was probably Miley Cyrus.
“Mary J. Blige?” I tossed it out just to get an animated reaction.
Gasping, she didn’t fail me by being extra. “Girllll, I so wish I did but no. I ran into Derrick Union.” I almost choked on my spit. “He looks so down, Sunnie. I feel so bad for him. He loved Hillary so much.”
“Did he…Did he say anything?”
“Not really. He’s going on vacation before the season starts to get his mind right. Whatever Hillary wrote in his letter really messed up his head.”
“Shit.” My computer almost hit the floor from the force of me sitting up. “Letter? What letter? Hillary wrote him a letter too?”
Please say no.
“Yep. Hillary mailed it the day before she…before she…well, you know. I didn’t ask what was inside because I barely made it past the first paragraph of mine. Derrick said he wished he could’ve saved her from all the close evil people she had in her life. Weird, but I get it. Anyhow, have you read yours?”
Dear God, please keep secrets that don’t need to be revealed hidden.
“I haven’t. Let’s change the subject. I don’t feel like crying right now. What’s new with you?”
Hillary had a lot of secrets.
A lot of secrets.
Secrets that I prayed were buried with her.
“My therapist is quite sick of me. She has to be.” She smiled shaking her head. “Yesterday I was on a call with her and I mentioned that I think God is going to throw me in jail if I don’t stop living in disobedience by not fulfilling my purpose. I can’t use Hillary’s death as an excuse because my neglect to my purpose started prior. But think about it. All these innocent people are in jail and prison serving these ridiculously century-long life sentences for crimes they didn’t commit. Why, though? Why are they imprisoned for the rest of their lives? Is it because they didn’t obey God at some point in their lives and that’s His wrath? Is it because God got tired of them living in the world and fulfilling their dreams that they refused to fulfill God’s needs so he locked them up for life? I know I’m rambling and all of it sounds foolish but how can God say that He knows the plans He has for us when there are people in prison for crimes they never committed? Was that His plan for them? He freed His disciples from jail, so why not do the same for the innocent? Girl, I’ve had six margaritas. I’m drunk and rambling. Don’t mind me.” She waved her hand at the screen, yelling out for another drink.
Drunk or not, she had some valid questions that I couldn’t answer, nor her therapist.
She had to seek God on that one.
“What are your plans for today?”
That reminded me. I needed to hurry up and get dressed. “Today is the reading of Zeek’s mom’s will. He doesn’t want to go and neither do I. But that’s my man and I’m going to support him.”
Sitting up with a big smile on her face, she started clapping her hands and screaming. “Yassss girl. You better say it. Your man, your man, your man. Took y’all long enough.”
I hadn’t even realized that’s what I said, but I don’t regret speaking it into existence. “We haven’t made anything official let alone talked about us but you know how I’ve always felt about Zeek. That’s my heart and…” His doorbell rung. “Let me call you back.”
“Okay, bye. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Zeek was in the shower so I wasn’t sure who it was. Might’ve been a food order or Amazon. Staring at the sour-faced woman before me, I wish I had looked through the peephole first. Candice tripped me out. I don’t understand her motive. It doesn’t take a blind man to see that she’s in like with Zeek but she also knows that he wants nothing serious with her. He only sleeps with her because she’s available and when she started working for his company he was trying to get her name out there by attaching it to his.
That’s where his ass messed up at.
You can’t give stellar performance dick to delulu women.
It never ends well.
“Why are you here?” Candice mama raised her with no manners. How do you show up to somebody’s house and don’t speak like you got some sense?
Watching her take in my half-naked attire, I chuckled scratching my brow. I wasn’t in the mood for her shit today. “How can I help you, Candice?”
She tried her best to look over my shoulder and make her way in but I wasn’t having it. “Ugh, can you move? I’m clearly not here to see you. Can you go get Zeek? Damn.”
“Let me go see if he wants to see you.” Her mouth opened to say something smart, but my hand was quicker slamming the door in her face.
I took my precious time walking to the bathroom. Stopping in the kitchen to get a Pink Lady apple. Of course, I had to wash the germs off. Hummed a nice tune in my head. Did a little dance outside of his bathroom door. Became a skilled drummer making many beats knocking on the door.
I rushed for no one.
Leaning against the bathroom vanity, I ate my apple watching the best view in the world. Ezekiel in the shower. Yes, Lawd. The naked specimen was pure perfection. The muscles flexing in his back, water running down his dark chocolate solid frame. I haven’t had many sexual thoughts about him since I’ve been here. Too busy dealing and emoting from life but now. I wanted to be the washrag, cleansing him clean. I never wanted to be a piece of cloth so bad in my life.
I was jealous of that black rag.
Jealous that it got to touch him, scrub him, soothe him, cleanse him.
Washing over his abs and pecs. Washing over his muscular thighs and legs. Washing over his back and arms. And washing over that third leg…
“What’s up?” My ogling did not phase him. He kept washing and giving me this intense look of pure savagery that dared me to look away.
I was a good girl.
I knew how to follow directions.
He had my full attention.
“Hey, uh, Candice is here. She stopped by wanting to see you. I told her I’d confirm with you first if you wanted her in your space or not.” I’m proud of myself. I held his eye contact and never looked down and followed the trail of his hands, though I wanted to.
He washed his… appendage on purpose, tempting me.
I passed the test.
“The only person I want in my space is already here.” His voice mixed with the steam… whew.
“You don’t have to do that, Zeek. I don’t mind her checking on you.” I lied, but I was too enthralled in this moment to think straight.
Opening the glass door, he invited me closer. “Come here.” Apple in hand, I obeyed his order. He leaned down until his eyes leveled with mine. “Repeat what I said.”
My heart started racing and my lady parts were singing the highest soprano. “I…”
His lips touched mine, and my knees were about to embarrass me. “I want to hear and feel you repeat what I said.”
All I could do was swallow the last chunk of apple I had in my mouth so I wouldn’t choke. His eyes were so low, smoldering, fitting with the hot mist of his shower. I’ve never experienced desire the way I’ve experienced it with Zeek. Yes, he turned me on. All the way on, but he made me feel wanted and chosen. Made me feel like every day was spent in the clouds protected by his love.
It was intimate moments like these that elevated my obsession with this man.
“The only person you want in your space is already here.”
“Hmm.” When he licked his lips, he licked mine. “Send her away, Sunnie Mae. Thank you, baby.” He pulled back and closed the door, and I walked out the room with the biggest grin on my face touching my lips.
Opening the door, Candice and her sour face looked ready for war but I was too far gone in Lala Land to have her ruin what just happened to me. I wanted to share my experience like it was the latest good news. Almost how it’s depicted in musicals. Jumping and swinging from a banister.
“Zeek said the only person he wants in his space is already here.” I shrugged. “So that means you need to leave. Have a great day.”
Rejection never felt good, and she let it be known when I tried to close the door. “Bitch, stop lying. Move out the way and go get…”
“If that door hits her we’re going to have a problem, Candice.” Dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist that failed at hiding his manly meat print, Zeek had us both gasping at his beautiful glory. I swear there is nothing like a fine, chocolate Black man.
“But I-I…” If Candice started crying I was going to pop her upside the head.
“Make this the last time you pop up at my house. I already thanked you for sending flowers for my mom but nowhere in my appreciation message did I say come to my house. We aren’t like that and never will be. Enjoy your day and go on about your business.” To add a little cajun spice, he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into his wet chest and closing the door with the other.
Candice’s face was priceless.
That’s what her ass gets.
For the longest, he and I stood there in a heated exchange of unspoken words and lustful challenges and dares. He wanted me; I wanted him. But were we ready for that? Having Ezekiel sexually meant having him completely. That’s what I wanted, that’s what I needed. He, on the other hand, was running from monogamy. He’s never fought me on my stance of us being only friends. Yet, when I look in his eyes, he’s lying.
He wants me but he’s scared.
“What’s on your mind, Sunnie Mae?”
The Achilles to my stiletto heels made me simper and blush uncontrollably. My forever name that I’d answer to for him. “You like making my lips tingle and my knees weak from your lips. Why?”
His smirk had me biting my lip to stop myself from moaning out loud. His sex appeal was ricocheting off the charts. Stepping close until we were bare chest to tank top, his lips brushed against mine until I parted them and we shared a new first. My tongue meeting his tongue. A sweetness of romance that made all my years of watching sweet rom-coms worth it.
He kissed me breathless.
He kissed me until my stomach knotted.
He kissed me with pure passion and reassurance that the essence of my happiness sparkled in my misty eyes.
“Because I can.” One last peck and he left me there gasping and clinging onto thin air, trying to steady my feet and unfog my brain.
Ezekiel was the sweetest kind of trouble and I wanted all of him.