Chapter 5
ADDIE
Addie hugged her sister hello. She’d arrived at the airport an hour ago, checked in her luggage and waited in the café for Susanna to arrive.
Today they would fly to Guernsey where they’d catch a connecting ferry over to Anchor Island.
It was the final connection of the day and would get them there shortly before the sun came down.
‘I’m not really sure how to feel,’ said Susanna as she unwound her neck scarf.
As usual, Susanna looked far more together than she did.
While Addie favoured jeans and sloppy cardigans when she wasn’t at work and found most of her clothes at charity shops, bargain outlets or one of the markets in London, Susanna usually went for labels and always looked smart no matter whether she was wearing a suit for the office or was dressed in jeans and a simple top like she had on now.
‘It’s hard to believe she’s gone,’ said Addie, and after a beat, wondered, ‘Who’s arranging the funeral?’
‘I don’t know, but it was the most upbeat funeral invite I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen that many.’
‘To ask everyone to wear bright colours means that she must have had some input before… well, you know.’
‘Before she died,’ Susanna finished for her. ‘Maybe she knew what was coming, asked someone who works with her at the Sweet Life Café to help. She must have appointed someone to deal with her affairs, given we’re out of the picture.’
That fact didn’t sit well with Addie. They’d all drifted apart, left it too long, and now it was too late.
Yesterday, when she’d spoken on the phone with her sister, she was glad of Susanna’s decisiveness and ability to be organised.
She’d half expected Susanna to refuse to even set foot on Anchor Island again – she’d been resisting the suggestion they go and sort through their father’s things for long enough – but yesterday it was Susanna who had looked up train times, ferry schedules, and flights, and had them sorted out in no time.
She was a lot like their Aunt Gayle; not that Addie would dare mention the similarity out loud to her sister.
Addie felt a sudden surge of panic. ‘Do you think whoever is organising the funeral has already cleared out Gayle’s house and the attic, including all of Dad’s things?’
‘Gayle wouldn’t have let that happen.’
‘We should’ve gone back a long time ago.’
Her comment was met with silence. She hadn’t pushed Susanna to go and sort through their dad’s things.
Addie had wanted to go, to get it done, but she’d be the first to admit that she’d been waiting for Susanna to take the lead.
Perhaps that was where she’d gone wrong.
For years she’d wanted her sister to let her make her own decisions, jumped on her back if she tried to interfere. She should’ve been more forceful.
Instead of deliberating the fact that they hadn’t gone to the island until now, she asked, ‘Do you think Aunt Gayle made a will? I mean, I’d assume so. There’s the house, the business, all her personal effects…’
‘We’ve been gone a long time,’ Susanna interrupted, as if she needed the reminder.
Addie closed her eyes. ‘This all feels like such a mess.’
‘We’ll see what’s what when we get to the island.’
‘We’re going to need somewhere to stay.’ Addie pulled out her phone. ‘I didn’t even think of that.’
‘The inn is still running, but it’ll make more sense to stay at the cottage. We can sort things out better from there.’ Susanna stirred her coffee once again. Addie had long since finished her second cup.
‘The cottage?’ Addie had to wonder if her sister had thought it through. ‘It would be too weird. And besides, I don’t have a key any more. Do you?’
‘There’ll be a spare key in the bottom of the stone tortoise ornament outside.’ She smiled slightly. ‘I came back drunk one night, barefoot because it was so hot, and I stubbed my toe on the thing trying to locate it to let myself in and sneak up to bed.’
‘I suppose it would make it easier to go through Dad’s things, if they’re still there.’ But Addie still wasn’t sure about the idea.
Susanna finished her coffee, took the cup to the counter and brought them both back a bottle of water. ‘How did Isaac take the news that you’ll be away for a while?’
‘Better than me. It’s the longest I’ve gone without seeing him.’ The plan was to go over, sort out what they needed to, attend the funeral and head back a couple of days after that.
‘The time will go quickly, you’ll see. There’ll be a lot to do.’
‘I cried last night at the thought of being so far from Isaac.’
Susanna’s hand reached across the table and gave hers a squeeze. ‘If it’s all too much, you can nip home and see Isaac and then return to the island. I’ll cover the cost.’ She squeezed Addie’s hand more firmly. ‘And I won’t take no for an answer on that one.’
She didn’t argue. It was nice to know she had a get-out clause if she really couldn’t stand to be away from Isaac for that long, but she wished her sister wouldn’t assume she couldn’t manage.
She could scrape together enough to visit her son, but hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.
They’d be busy. Maurie and Jarrett were well versed at keeping Isaac entertained, and knowing he was in his element should be enough to keep her head straight.
When Susanna went off to call Alex, Addie let herself think about the island. Sometimes she didn’t. Sometimes she pushed the memories away, as it felt easier.
Addie had lived on Anchor Island since she was eight years old and slowly she’d begun to settle and feel happy again.
She made friends, got through school easily enough, but at the back of her mind was always the pact she and her sister had made the day they were dragged from their beloved home in Oxford, away from all that was familiar.
The day Susanna announced she had got the grades she needed to go to university back on the mainland, Addie had been heartbroken.
She’d known the day was coming but she also knew how hard it was going to be living here without Susanna.
She was twelve, almost thirteen, when she and Aunt Gayle took her sister and her bags to the ferry and waved her off.
Addie had known then that Susanna would never come back, not properly anyway, and it felt like the Rafferty girls were disappearing like the rest of their family had.
Addie missed Susanna more than she could explain and one night a month or so after Susanna had left, she’d been missing her sister like crazy and was so upset that she’d run upstairs as soon as she got back from school and buried her face in her pillow.
She’d howled. She couldn’t remember crying that hard since her dad had died.
She’d been mid-sob when she heard the creak of the door opening, felt the sag of the mattress as someone sat down, and when she opened her eyes Aunt Gayle was there.
She didn’t say a word, just opened her arms. It was the first time Addie had really let herself be hugged and comforted by their aunt, the first time it felt like Aunt Gayle was there when she needed her rather than Susanna filling the role of their absent parents.
That night Addie had been allowed to stay up past midnight.
They’d had apple and rhubarb crumble with hot custard, they’d talked about school, about what Addie missed on the mainland, what she liked on the island.
Addie had gone to bed full of the pudding but with something else too, the feeling of family.
The following day Addie had gone into the Sweet Life Café after school and asked if she could help out and she’d gone in every day since.
If Susanna was on the island visiting, she spent time with her sister, but when Susanna wasn’t there Addie was at the Sweet Life Café with Gayle, and slowly, things on Anchor Island began to subtly change.
As the days and weeks turned to months and years, Addie enjoyed her time at the café more and more, baking almost every day, sometimes to Gayle’s recipes and other times her own, and she began to wonder whether a university place was what she really wanted.
‘I love baking,’ she said candidly to Gayle one day, as she washed her hands after handling pastry.
She had offers from three universities, had accepted her preferences, both with courses in web design, and was set to go to the mainland in less than six months providing her results were good enough.
Gayle put an apple and raisin strudel in the oven. ‘I can tell.’ She was smiling as she picked up a cloth to wipe down the surface.
‘I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing.’ When Gayle looked her way she explained, ‘With university, I mean. I’ve applied, I’ve got offers, but is it what I really want?’
‘Are you worried about the money?’
‘No. I have some money from Dad, and on top of the loans I’ll apply for I’ll be fine.’
Gayle turned her back and continued to wipe the bench top, gathering flour and pastry debris in her opposite palm. ‘You have a plan, Addie, a good plan.’
‘But what if it’s not the right thing for me?’
Gayle turned to face her. ‘Have you talked to your sister about this?’
‘No.’ Of course she hadn’t. Susanna would think she’d lost the plot if she told her sister that rather than a university place, she would prefer to see whether she could make it in the baking world.
She hadn’t looked into what that might entail; all she knew was that she had a passion for it and spending time here with Gayle had made her realise that perhaps her hobby could be a lot more.
‘Did you feel the same way?’ Addie prompted.
‘What do you mean?’ Gayle rinsed out the cloth under the tap.
‘Did you have a passion for baking and find you couldn’t imagine doing anything else?’
Gayle took a moment to answer. ‘Yes, that’s exactly how I felt.
But I didn’t have many options. I was never very good at school like you are.
And I took a huge risk with this place. My parents did with their café and your dad struggled when he took it on, as you know.
A café or pudding place or bakery means you’re dependent on demand, on customer preferences and loyalty.
It’s not an easy business.’ She left the kitchen abruptly, leaving Addie wondering what had just happened.
Addie had expected a different reaction.
She couldn’t believe Gayle hadn’t embraced her joy of baking, told her exactly how it was for her, how delighted she was that Addie showed the same interest. They’d been getting on so well she’d imagined her aunt being excited, encouraging, considering her career direction seriously.
But instead, Aunt Gayle hadn’t been able to get out of the kitchen fast enough.
That day set the scene for Gayle putting a damper on Addie’s enthusiasm, either changing the subject to England and university or the job market whenever Addie tried to bring up her passion again, or talking about the hard times she’d had trying to keep the Sweet Life Café going.
Soon Addie stopped mentioning it and she stopped going into the café to help out. She studied hard, she got great results, and by the time it came for her to take up the place at Loughborough University, Addie had all but pushed aside her love of baking to follow an academic route.
It was certainly what everyone else seemed to think was the right thing to do.
As Addie buckled her seat belt on the plane, she felt a sadness come over her that whatever they found when they got to the island, things were never going to be the same again.