Chapter 18 #2
‘Well, it was good to see you again,’ she said as they walked back down the path.
‘Really good to see you too. You haven’t changed.’
She laughed. ‘I’m totally different.’
‘Not really, not deep down.’ He said it as if he could see all the layers of her, as if all the years that had gone by had fallen away altogether.
‘I’ll see you around,’ she said.
But he made her turn back when he called out, ‘So are you staying? For the living funeral?’
‘Maybe.’ She left it at that.
And as she turned and walked away and up the hill towards Bay Street, her smile faded.
She felt terrible. She was married, and here she was enjoying another man’s company and finding herself wanting more of it.
She wondered whether her agreement to stay for the living funeral was for her sister, for Gayle, or was it a desire to see more of Mateo that she hadn’t even admitted to herself?
It took the edge off her confusion when she saw Addie at the end of Evergreen Close.
Addie held up a hand to wave as she crossed over to meet her sister. ‘Walk some more with me?’
‘I can do that,’ said Susanna. The good thing with Addie was that if you ever had words, she let it go pretty quickly and didn’t hold grudges. Susanna was always relieved for that.
They made their way to the coastal path and stopped to take in the view and the first vantage point that Susanna had already enjoyed once today.
‘I’m really getting my steps up,’ said Susanna. ‘My body feels better than when I spend a day at my desk.’
‘Mine too. And the fresh air helps. I can see why Gayle moved here.’ She waited a beat. ‘You know, I thought I remembered how pretty this island was, but being here is something else.’
Susanna stood next to her. She couldn’t disagree. ‘We can just about make out France. Look.’ She pointed.
‘I remember when we first realised we could see it. We were fascinated. We never did go over there like we said we would.’
‘I suppose life happened.’
‘Life, work, the daily treadmill.’
Treadmill wasn’t the word she’d used exactly. ‘Have you thought any more about buying a place?’ she ventured. It was a sensitive topic ever since she’d offered to lend Addie some money to help her get on the property ladder, and Addie had flatly refused.
‘I think about it all the time. And I’ve got a good amount saved for a deposit.’
‘That’s good. Although I feel like there’s a “but” coming.’
‘But… I live in London, and you don’t get much for your money. My job is there but I don’t know that I want to buy a tiny flat, even if I could.’
‘You’ll work something out.’
Addie smiled and Susanna knew she appreciated her big sister not trying to leap in and save the day. She’d done that for so long that even now, with Addie in her late thirties, Susanna found it hard to stop.
They didn’t walk too much further before they conceded that it was time to get back to the boxes.
They’d just turned onto the street from the end of the track when Addie collided with thick strings across her path. She waved her arms as if she was stuck in a giant cobweb.
‘Sorry!’ came a male voice as Susanna helped Addie disentangle herself.
The man came to help too, and he was joined by a little boy.
‘No harm done.’ Addie smiled as she was set free and the little boy tried to rescue the rest of his kite from a nearby bush.
The man told them – or rather Addie, because she was the only one he seemed to have eyes for right now – ‘I told him to wait until we’re in a bigger space, but…’
‘No worries. I have a son of my own and telling him to wait is like asking for the impossible.’
The man smiled and seemed to remember his manners. He held out a hand first to Addie, then to Susanna. ‘I’m Samuel, by the way, and this is my son, Billy.’
‘Addie,’ her sister replied.
‘I’m Susanna. Good to meet you.’ He looked in his late thirties, maybe early forties, and she noted he wasn’t wearing a wedding band.
‘Dad… come on!’ Billy cried, his kite gathered up now.
‘I’d better go. But good to meet you both. I’ll see you around.’
‘Sure,’ said Addie.
Only when he was out of sight and they began to walk again did Addie notice Susanna’s grin. ‘What?’ she asked.
‘You tell me.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Addie, whoever that guy is, I’d say he’s very interested in you.’
‘Oh, come on, we met for a split second.’ She hooked her arm back through her sister’s.
‘That’s all it takes.’
‘Yes, well, the only man I need in my life right now is Isaac.’
‘If you say so.’ And she only let it go because Addie had steered her past the mouth of Evergreen Close. ‘Where are you taking me? I thought we’d finished our walk.’
Addie stopped when they were almost at the Sweet Life Café. ‘I don’t want us going inside for the first time on the day of the living funeral in six days. We need to do it now.’
Her heart thudded. ‘Wait a minute. I thought I was the decisive one,’ she said to her sister.
‘I’m all grown up now, and maybe sometimes I have to be the one to make decisions.’
She couldn’t argue with that.
A reel played over and over in her mind of the times she’d come here as a teenager, and then the time she’d come here the day she got back to the island earlier than expected.
She’d wanted to surprise her little sister, but Addie wasn’t at the cottage and so she’d come to the café.
She’d thought Addie would be inside at one of the booth tables doing schoolwork or having something to eat, desperately waiting to see her sister, but when Susanna went inside and up to the counter she’d seen through to the kitchen.
There, next to Aunt Gayle, had been Addie with an apron on and the biggest smile on her face.
Laughter ricocheted off the walls from Gayle and Addie over and over again, torturing Susanna that their world might well be different from hers and she’d felt like she was losing Addie bit by bit.
She’d slunk back out and gone down to the harbour again, where she’d hung around for a couple of hours until she walked back up to the cottage.
And when she’d asked Addie what she’d been up to that day, Addie had told her she’d been busy with school and homework and hadn’t uttered a word about Gayle or baking puddings with their aunt.
They were about to go inside when Susanna stopped. ‘Isn’t that Louisa?’ They watched the young woman putting something into the rear of the bright pink van used for deliveries, with the café’s logo emblazoned on the side panels. ‘So she’s on holiday but has a job working here?’
‘I’ve no idea,’ said Susanna. They were right outside the front door and her feet suddenly wouldn’t move.
‘Come on,’ Addie urged.
‘I don’t know if I can.’
Addie shook her head. ‘You can, and you will.’