Chapter Thirty-Eight Lillian
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Lillian
My heart picked up speed as the police walked toward my family. I was more than willing to face arrest for this cause, but what would happen to my daughter if the authorities hauled off all of us? How could my mother not have thought this through when she brought Rosalynn to the protest march?
The officers strode closer to our group. Since the climb up the Capitol steps, there’d been an edge to the authorities. As if they sensed they’d lost control, at least in spirit.
Were they really going to arrest us because we’d parked ourselves in the Rotunda for speeches and sing-alongs? Yes, we were a little noisy—or in my mother’s case, a lot noisy—but we weren’t impeding anyone or destroying property. How could chanting “access for all” lead to anything negative?
Apparently, that was enough. The authorities first approached the soldier and his German shepherd, instructing him to disperse. The order was ignored. Out came the flex-cuffs. Essentially zip ties, used for larger-scale events. The police had come prepared, expecting to make arrests.
Would they actually detain my daughter? A young teen?
A pair of police officers started our way. Mama shot her arm across my chest like we were in a car and she was saving a child from an impending accident.
Della lowered her megaphone and spoke for my ears only. “This is my moment. You stay with your family.”
A mother’s worry for her child was the most powerful force of nature, and apparently my mama was protecting me so I could protect Rosalynn.
“Mama, thank you. For being you.”
Della smiled. “Bail me out in the morning so I can come back and protest again. The hotel information and confirmation are in Rosalynn’s backpack. The room faces the shore because I know how much Grady adores the water.” She patted my face. “He loves it almost as much as he loves you.”
Della brought the bullhorn up to her mouth, charging toward the nearest police officer. “With liberty and justice for all.”
Sure enough the flex-cuffs came out, and they zip-tied my mother. She made a point of being near a photographer. The entryway framed the shot to perfection. I’d never seen her look happier.
Della wriggled her fingers triumphantly. “Well, I’ll be dipped and rolled in cracker crumbs, will you look at that? And if I’m not mistaken, do I hear the diesel rumble of school buses pulling up outside to haul us away?”
A fresh-faced cop guided her by the elbow. “Better access for the wheelchairs.”
Della tutted. “Listen to those poor fools grinding the gears. I was made for this moment.”
My magnificent mama. How could I ever live up to her legacy?
I only knew I owed it to the next generations to try.
The hotel was swankier than I’d expected, located on the Potomac River. No doubt my frugal mother had wangled her way into that suite upgrade. The day had been long, and everything in me said I should encourage Rosalynn to rest. But she wanted at least a few minutes out by the water.
We splurged on barbecue and fries. Our family outing was filled with hope on a day that had been chock-full of optimism. The sauce was more tomato-based than our South Carolina mustard-based style. Even with the difference, it still carried a taste of home.
Rosalynn’s chair was parked on the boardwalk by a picnic table as she polished off her meal.
She’d wanted to eat closer to the shore, as we’d done so often in the past, with Grady pointing out all the different kinds of fishing boats.
Except there wasn’t a wheelchair-accessible path, but maybe that would change if the ADA bill passed.
I hoped so. I wasn’t done fighting. I’d learned a lot today about never giving up.
My gaze shifted to Grady as he left the table and walked toward the river’s rocky shore, hands stuffed in his windbreaker pockets.
He’d always been drawn to bodies of water.
The breeze rolled off the Potomac River, gentle and calming.
The sun slipped lower into the horizon, the chilly March evening growing colder, but we’d bundled up.
A couple walked along the dock with a child on the father’s shoulders.
A woman jogged past with her beagle. In the distance, a sailboat eased toward the pier, a bell clanging.
The sounds were every bit as soothing as the crashing waves of home.
I could get used to a place like this.
As if he felt the weight of my gaze, Grady glanced over his shoulder and extended an arm for me. The golden haze of the ending day streamed over his handsome face, his angular jaw peppered with stubble well past a five-o’clock shadow.
Turning to Rosalynn, I nudged the rest of my fries toward her. “I’ll be right back. I’m just going to speak with your father.”
I picked my way past a tulip poplar, toward Grady, a man I’d loved for most of my adult life.
He slid an arm around my waist, his body warm and solid. “Your mother orchestrated quite a coup today with her moment of fame. I suspect we’ll be seeing her photo on the front page of newspapers tomorrow.”
I rested my head on his shoulder with an ease I’d missed over the past couple of years as he’d closed himself off from me. Something had shifted in my heart during our journey, culminating in that incredible moment on the Capitol steps.
My family had become whole again. “I believe tomorrow’s headliner will be about when Rosalynn and the others took to the Capitol steps. Seeing you encouraging her . . . There aren’t words to describe how that moved me.”
His throat bobbed in a slow swallow. “It was a powerful moment I’ll never forget. Are you going to forgive your mom for showing up unannounced?”
“I already have.” And I had. No question, Della would step on my toes a million more times, just as I would with my daughter. But we were all doing our best to care for each other.
“Are you going to forgive me?” He tapped my lips in a gentle shush. “Wait. Don’t answer yet. I need to say my piece. I’ve fallen short as a husband over the years. My drinking put a strain on the marriage.”
I remembered those times. I’d spent long nights cataloging them in my mind when I’d been telling myself I couldn’t possibly stick with him any longer. Yet I couldn’t deny things had changed since then.
“You’ve turned the page.” With a year of sobriety and regular AA meetings.
We’d all coped with so much. Following Rosalynn’s accident, I remembered a counselor at the hospital encouraging us to attend sessions as a family to deal with some of the fallout from the massive life change.
I’d brushed her suggestion aside, overwhelmed with appointments and unable to consider adding more.
It struck me now that even though Grady hadn’t gone to the counselor then, he had been seeking help in the meetings.
I was the one who’d turned my back on probing the deeper emotions.
“I’m trying,” he said, his powerful voice cracking with emotion.
“I wish I could say it’s always easy. There are tough days.
I’ve learned in meetings that recovery is a lifelong process.
I promise I’ll keep on trying for the rest of my life to be the father Rosalynn deserves, and a man worthy of you. ”
My heart squeezed for him and his self-doubt. He’d battled his own demons to be there for us. He’d laid his soul bare about the nightmares. He’d finally given me a glimpse into what had made him withdraw in the first place. And this trip had forced me to slow down long enough to ask. To listen.
“Oh, Grady, I am so sorry for all the times I shut you out, the times I charged ahead and didn’t let you be a partner in our life. You already are the most honorable man I know.”
“Thank you,” he said with that perfectly imperfect half smile of his, “but I need to say the rest. Even if you won’t take me back, I’m still here for you both, forever. I don’t want you to think my sobriety is contingent on us staying together. That’s emotional blackmail. It’s not fair to you.”
“I haven’t been blameless.” My stubbornness. My pride. My insistence on having my way. I suspected those things would be a lifelong challenge for me, but then Grady and I loved each other. Imperfections and all.
He turned to slide both hands around my waist, resting his forehead against mine. “Do you think we can have a fresh start?”
I gave myself a moment to sink into the joy of knowing we were on the same page, that we still craved the same things in life.
“I want that,” I vowed, looping my arms around his neck, tipping my face to his. “So very much.”
A sigh of relief shook through him, one echoed inside me. We’d started this journey looking for a peaceful way to remain parted, only to find our way back home to each other. Something I hadn’t even believed possible a mere forty-eight hours ago.
He skimmed a kiss across my lips before continuing, “I meant what I said, about hoping you wouldn’t leave me.
I love you so much, Lillian Barnwell. The mother, professional, incredible person you are .
. . You amaze me. And when the time is right for you, I hope you’ll become my wife again.
Since the first moment I saw you, I knew you would always be the only woman for me. ”
“Chemistry.” I toyed with his hair brushing his collar.
“Yes,” he said, brown eyes serious, “but more than that. Connection.”
“Yes,” I said, to all of it as I arched up on my toes to steal another kiss from my husband. My lover. The love of my life. And savored the joy of us having found our way back to one another after such a painful detour.
“Hey,” Rosalynn called out from her perch on the boardwalk. “You two get a room.” While she teased, her smile reached ear to ear.
“Rosie, girl,” Grady called in response, “what do you say we cruise to the end of the pier and dip our toes in the water?”
I started to caution him about the safety and the chill in the spring night air, then paused, thinking of all the times I’d held Rosalynn back. Our girl was meant to soar.
We all were.
And as we dipped our toes into the water, I embraced the wide-open future for our family.