Chapter 18
Determined not to be dependent solely on Saul for entertainment, Kazz had popped into the pub last night for a glass of wine and some company, and had had a pleasant Friday evening discussing books with Agnes and a couple of Agnes’s friends. But it had hardly been exciting, and her thoughts had kept returning to Saul. She had half-expected him to walk through the door, but she had been disappointed.
Tonight, though, she and Saul were going to see a live band.
It promised to be fun. Kazz was feeling unaccountably nervous when he arrived to pick her up, the butterflies in her stomach fluttering frantically as he leant across the gearstick to give her a fleeting kiss, and she wondered whether she would be brave enough to take him to her bed tonight.
The anticipation of sleeping with him was delectably exciting but despite her desire, she wanted to take it slow.
Yeah, definitely slow , her libido sniggered naughtily. That’s the best way.
Ignoring her lustful thoughts, as they made the short journey from Tanglewood to the market town of Abergavenny, Kazz thought back to how lovely Wednesday evening had been. His kisses had been exquisite, but he had taken his cue from her and had seemed content not to take things any further – although his hands had roamed a bit, and so had hers! But she had stopped well shy of dragging him off to bed.
His passion had been obvious, but he’d also not seemed to be in a desperate hurry to take their relationship to the next level.
Tonight might be a different story – for her, at least – because she didn’t know how much longer she could continue to deny herself. And with that in mind, she would make sure she didn’t have more than a glass or two of wine. She wanted a clear head and unimpaired judgement, for what might happen later.
Abergavenny was surprisingly busy, with people intent on enjoying the build-up to Christmas. Twinkling lights were draped along the main street, and on the lamp posts there were flashing Santas, trees, snowmen and stars. Most of the shop windows were in full Christmas mode, and people spilled out of bars and restaurants onto seating areas laid out on the pedestrianised street.
The chilly air was filled with delicious smells, and Kazz was delighted to see an assortment of restaurants, from Turkish cuisine (which smelled divine and reminded her of holidays spent in the Eastern Mediterranean) to tapas, as well as the more usual Chinese and Indian. Her mouth watered even though she wasn’t hungry, and she promised herself she would return to the town and try a couple. Hopefully with Saul…
Some Christmas parties were going on, and she smiled to see so many cheerful and slightly inebriated faces.
This is more like it , she thought, drinking in the lively atmosphere. But she realised that somewhere between leaving London and this evening, she had apparently undergone a seismic shift: no matter how much she was enjoying herself right now, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be exposed to it every night.
Saul took hold of her hand and pulled her into a side street. It wasn’t technically a street, more like an alleyway, but it quickly opened up and she spotted their destination, the bar’s name picked out in fluorescent pink neon writing.
Music thudded and the tables in the courtyard outside were all occupied. Saul led her inside, shouting to be heard above the noise. ‘What would you like to drink?’
‘White wine, please.’ She stayed close as he pushed his way to the bar and ordered their drinks, then they retreated to a less busy corner and waited for the band to come on.
It was impossible to hold a proper conversation, so they listened to the music, tapped their feet and bopped their heads to the beat. And occasionally, he would dip his head, his gaze would capture hers, and he’d kiss her.
Much later, her ears were still ringing as she climbed the spiral staircase leading to her flat, Saul following. She hoped he didn’t find the unflattering view of her bottom off-putting and she wondered what he thought about her inviting him in for a nightcap. Kazz had had a great time this evening and she didn’t want it to end. A soft drink, a cuddle and a kiss on the sofa would be perfect.
She had left a lamp on in the living room and she walked towards the glow, slipping her coat off. ‘Make yourself comfortable,’ she instructed as she took off her boots with a relieved groan. ‘Ah, that’s better. My feet are killing me.’
‘I could give them a rub for you, if you like,’ he said, then winced. ‘Sorry, that’s a bit weird.’
‘It’s not weird at all,’ Kazz said, flopping into a chair and sticking her legs out. ‘It’s very thoughtful of you.’
‘You really want me to massage your toes?’
She laughed and sat up, drawing her legs in. ‘Gotcha! Of course I don’t expect you to massage my feet. But if you’re offering, you could give my shoulders a rub. I kept having to crane my neck to see over the head of the guy standing in front of me.’
‘You should have said. We could have moved nearer the front.’
‘Do you want me to be deaf for a week? It was loud enough where we were standing, I don’t think I could have handled it any louder.’
While she was speaking, Saul had removed his black woollen jacket and had thrown it on the back of one of the dining-table chairs, then he moved into position behind her. He blew on his hands to warm them, and for a shocked moment she wondered whether he expected her to remove her red sparkly top, and she stiffened. Oh, God, was this it? Were they going to make love?
However, when he placed his palms on the top of her shoulders and began to apply some pressure to the muscles on either side of her neck, pressing his thumbs down with a circular motion, she relaxed a little.
‘Ooh, that’s nice,’ she moaned, dropping her head forward and uttering little murmurs of delight as he worked on the knotted muscles between her shoulder blades.
She could feel the tension draining away, so when he stopped, removing his hands from her back and resting them on the tops of her shoulders, she let out a sigh of regret. It had been so nice that she would have happily let him rub her shoulders all night.
Expecting him to move away, her heart fluttered when he leant forward and she felt his warm breath on her neck.
‘Mmm, you smell wonderful,’ he murmured, then his lips grazed the sensitive skin at the nape of her neck and she stiffened.
He immediately froze but she whispered, ‘Don’t stop,’ and tilted her head to the side. When he nibbled her gently, his kisses working their way along the side of her jaw, she sighed.
Then, unable to bear it any longer, she shifted around, and his mouth was on hers and they were kissing frantically, desperately, and all her inhibitions were forgotten as she led him to the bedroom.
‘It’s been snowing,’ Saul said.
Kazz was thankful the bedroom was at the rear of the building and not facing the street, because he was standing in front of the window, staring out of it, in all his naked glory.
Talking of rears, Saul had a very impressive backside, taut and nicely shaped.
‘Come back to bed.’ Kazz patted the mattress, where that backside should rightly be.
‘Want to go play in it?’ he asked.
‘How deep is it?’ Intrigued now, she pushed the duvet back and padded over to him, using his body to shield her in case anyone happened to be outside, looking up.
When she saw that there was only a faint white slush on the courtyard below, her disappointment was acute. ‘It’s hardly anything.’
‘Not down in the valley – but look at the mountains.’
The upper slopes were white, their tops gleaming in the weak December sun.
‘It probably won’t last,’ Saul said, ‘so if we want to go for a walk in it, we’d better get our skates on.’
‘Ice skates?’
‘Ha ha.’ He turned away from the window and kissed her, then he slapped her on the bum and began to gather up his clothes. ‘While you get ready, I’ll make us some tea and toast. Dress warmly, and have you got any sturdy boots?’
‘Will Doc Martens do?’ She had bought them to wear with thick tights and chunky knit dresses, but they were pretty good in the wet.
‘Perfect.’
‘What about you?’ He had been wearing brogues last night, and she didn’t think his coat would be suitable either. She had a Parka, so she’d be all right, even though she’d bought it for its looks rather than its suitability on a snow-topped mountain.
‘I always keep a Barbour jacket and a pair of wellies in the Landy,’ he said. ‘I never know when I’ll need them.’
He left her to get ready, and when she emerged from the bedroom, he presented her with two slices of buttered toast and a mug of coffee.
‘Will we be going up Pen y Fan?’ she asked. It was the most visited peak in the National Park and wasn’t too far away.
‘It’ll be busier than a supermarket on Christmas Eve,’ he said. ‘Everyone will have made a beeline for it. I thought we’d hike up Skirrid Fawr, and afterwards I’ll treat you to lunch in the oldest pub in Wales.’
Lunch sounded lovely. A hike up a mountain? Not so much.
‘Is it as high as Pen y Fan?’ she asked. She’d heard it was one hell of a trek to get to the top of the highest mountain in South Wales, and it was so gnarly that the army used it for their SAS training.
‘Not by a long shot,’ he assured her as they bundled themselves into their coats. ‘Pen y Fan is nearly twice as high as Skirrid.’ He grinned at her. ‘I thought I’d break you in gently. It’s steep, but the view from the top is fantastic.’
Kazz wasn’t an outdoorsy person, so it was with some trepidation that she got out of the car when they reached the base of the mountain. From this angle, it didn’t look too bad, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
‘We’ll go the long way round,’ he told her. ‘It’s less steep and very picturesque. Ready?’
She nodded and he shrugged his Barbour jacket on, then hefted a rucksack onto his shoulders. ‘Emergency rations,’ he said, by way of explanation when he saw her looking. ‘I always take it with me when I’m on a mountain. Better to have it and not need it, than not to have it and wish you had.’
That was cryptic, she thought, curious as to what was in it.
The climb began with a gentle incline up a lane, then a breathless stomp up through the woodland that cloaked the lower slopes of the mountain. But before they emerged from the treeline, Saul took a path to the left, and the going became less steep and more enjoyable – as far as Kazz was concerned.
With the branches bare of leaves, she could see tantalising glimpses of the view to the west and she was amazed at how high they had climbed in such a short amount of time. The ascent was gradual, and soon the trees were left behind and they were walking on an open hillside, a patchwork of fields spread out below.
More climbing, as the mountain became steeper, left Kazz panting and breathless. Her legs were aching, but with Saul’s urging, she finally made it to the top, and what she saw left her speechless.
A layer of snow coated the summit, a few centimetres deep in places and so startlingly white in the December sun that it made her squint. The air was cold, crisp and incredibly fresh, and she drew deep breaths into her lungs as she gazed around in wonder. Never had she seen such a view as this!
Turning in a slow circle, Kazz realised she could see a full 360 degrees, from impressive mountains in one direction, to rolling farmland in another.
‘That’s Abergavenny,’ Saul said, pointing to a small town nestled in a valley below, and she marvelled to think she had been walking through its streets last night.
He pointed to a conical-shaped mountain. ‘That’s the Sugar Loaf. It looks like a volcano, but it isn’t.’
She had wondered about it, because it could be seen from Tanglewood, and she’d meant to ask.
‘Over there is the Black Mountains range, and although you can’t see it from here, Hay is somewhere beneath it.’ He turned her body to face another direction. ‘See that? That’s the Bristol Channel.’ In the far distance was a sliver of gleaming silver where the sky met the land. ‘On a clear day, you might even see the Somerset coast.’
It took Kazz a long time to speak, and when she did, she simply said, ‘Thank you.’ It would never have occurred to her to walk up a ruddy great big mountain, but she was so very pleased she had.
The beauty of the area astounded her, and she could see why people came from miles around to appreciate it. Wild mountains, gentle valleys, cute villages – this part of Wales had it all, and she felt incredibly privileged to be able to call it home. To her surprise and delight, she realised she was beginning to fall in love with it, and Tanglewood especially. It was so different from the life she had led in London, and any doubts she had were fading faster than the haze shimmering in the distance.
Grateful to Saul for showing her this remarkable view, she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him.
When she came up for air, there was such burning desire in his eyes that she became breathless all over again.
Her rumbling tummy broke the mood, and he sniggered. ‘I think someone could do with a snack before we head back down. Fancy a Welsh cake?’ He tapped the rucksack.
She fancied Saul more, but her bed was several miles away, so a Welsh cake would have to do. Besides, she was looking forward to the promised lunch in Wales’s oldest pub.
‘I’ve never been to the Skirrid Inn,’ Stevie said on Monday morning, after Kazz had told her all about her lovely day out yesterday.
Kazz was perched in her usual spot in the tea shop’s kitchen. ‘It was gorgeous. I can’t believe it’s over nine hundred years old. They reckon it’s haunted.’ She’d had so much fun finding out about it and had been absolutely fascinated. She hadn’t stopped talking about it all the way home, much to Saul’s obvious amusement. Then he had given her something else to think about as he’d whisked her off to bed.
He didn’t stay last night, though – he had to be up early this morning – but he had promised to pop in to see her later.
‘I’ve never seen you like this,’ Stevie said, leaning against the island, a mug of coffee cradled in her hands.
‘Like what?’ Kazz snapped out of her thoughts.
‘Dreamy over a man.’
‘I’m not dreamy! I had a good time, that’s all.’
‘I bet you did.’ Stevie chuckled. ‘Leanne said that Saul didn’t go home on Saturday night.’
Kazz closed her eyes wearily. Those dratted Tanglewood gossip drums. ‘He stayed the night. So what?’ Kazz went on the defensive.
Stevie studied her, then said slowly, ‘Just be careful.’
‘I know what I’m doing,’ Kazz replied sulkily.
‘Do you? As I said, I’ve never seen you like this about a man.’
‘I like him, OK?’
‘I think you more than like him,’ Stevie pointed out.
Kazz hated to admit it, but her friend was right. She liked Saul a lot. She could even see herself falling for him.
‘How many dates have you been on?’ Stevie asked.
‘In my life? No idea. I don’t keep count.’
‘With Saul,’ Stevie clarified.
‘It depends on what you’d call a date. Two, or three if you count Saturday and Sunday as separate ones.’
Stevie said quietly, ‘He never makes it past five dates.’
‘What are you trying to say – that he’ll dump me on date number five?’
‘I don’t know, Kazz. All I’m saying is that I don’t want to see you hurt.’
‘Don’t look, then,’ Kazz shot back. Immediately contrite, she dropped her gaze and heaved a sigh. ‘I’m sorry, I know you’re only looking out for me.’
Stevie shrugged. There were spots of colour on her cheeks and Kazz knew she had upset her. ‘It’s just…’ Kazz hunted around for the right words. ‘I really like him.’
A small smile appeared on Stevie’s face. ‘I know you do. I can tell. Just be careful, eh?’
‘I’ll try.’ Kazz wasn’t making any promises. How could she, when it was way too late to be careful?