Chapter 19
Kazz had never been ice skating, although she had owned a pair of roller skates when she was a kid. As far as she could recall, she had spent more time gripping onto the side for dear life, than she had skating. She hadn’t been able to move more than a couple of centimetres without pinwheeling her arms and trying to take giant steps to keep her balance.
She didn’t expect this time to be any different.
‘If I break something it’ll be your fault,’ she told Saul firmly. ‘If I’m incapacitated, you’ll have to man the shop.’
‘It won’t come to that,’ he said, kneeling to help her put on her skates.
She flinched at the sight of the narrow blades. If she hadn’t been able to stay upright with eight relatively wide wheels underneath her, she wouldn’t stand a hope in hell when balancing on precarious strips of metal. She must have been mad to agree to this.
The ice rink, like her shop, was a pop-up one, in honour of the Christmas festival. It was located in the Hen and Duck’s car park – with much grumbling from Mads, the pub’s grumpy landlord, after Betty had railroaded him into it.
Although the festival technically didn’t start until tomorrow, there were plenty of activities taking place this evening and as soon as it had grown dark, Kazz had closed the shop, guessing that people would be more interested in the little funfair that had come with the skating rink, than in buying old books.
Against her better judgement, she had allowed Saul to talk her into going ice skating.
The rink was small, with several surprisingly adept kids whirling around on it. The sight of their endless circles as they whizzed past made her feel quite dizzy. Saul encouraged her to get to her feet, which she only managed because she was clinging onto him so tightly, and she hadn’t even left the matted area yet.
Walking on ice was a far more dangerous activity and Kazz let go of him only long enough to transfer her death grip to the barrier encircling the rink.
‘Slide one foot forward, then the other,’ he instructed.
Kazz lifted a foot, made heavy by the boot and the blade, and placed it down again. She did the same with the other. She managed to move a less than impressive ten centimetres.
‘You have to glide, not walk,’ Saul advised. ‘Like this.’
He pushed off with one foot and flowed gracefully across the ice, then spun around so he was travelling backwards.
‘Show off,’ she muttered, then giggled when a boy of about eight sped past him at a rate of knots, passing so close that Saul did a speed wobble.
He flailed towards the barrier and grabbed it with a rueful smile. ‘Looks like I’m not as good as I think I am,’ he said.
Kazz bit her lip and peered at him from underneath her lashes. ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she murmured wickedly.
He sucked in a breath, and she giggled.
‘Do you want to leave?’ he asked, his expression hopeful.
‘No, I do not. You dragged me onto this damned ice, so we’re going to damned well skate.’
‘We are, are we? And how do you propose to do that, when you won’t let go of the barrier?’
Kazz gritted her teeth, released her hold and made a grab for Saul, clinging onto his coat with both hands as she wobbled and tottered, her feet sliding away from her.
Saul grasped her around the waist to steady her. ‘OK?’
She pressed her lips together and nodded. She wasn’t , but she didn’t want to let Saul see how nervous she was. It wasn’t falling on her backside that worried her – it was falling and breaking an arm or a leg, or both.
Slowly, he guided her around the rink, close enough to the barrier so that she could grab it if she needed, but she was determined not to. If Saul could do this, then so could she.
‘You’re doing great,’ he enthused, ‘but as much as I like you holding on to me, do you mind not gripping so hard?’ He was skating backwards very slowly and Kazz was holding his hands in a vice-like grip.
Her body was tenser than a tent pole, and she was so stiff that every muscle was rigid. She would ache like the devil tomorrow and she could already feel a soreness developing in her ankles.
After one slow tortuous circuit, Kazz was ready to call it a day. At least she had given it a go, she told herself.
‘Hot chocolate?’ he suggested, and Kazz readily agreed. That was more like it and while they queued for the drinks, she gazed around at what else was on offer at the festival.
The main street had been blocked off to traffic, and a mini fairground had been erected. The ice rink was just the start of it. There was also a mini helter-skelter, a pin-the-tail-on-Rudolf game, an inflatable Twister, plus loads of other things, as well as lots of food and drink stalls. Kazz had worried that Stevie’s tea shop might be affected tomorrow, but Stevie assured her it wouldn’t be.
‘Not everyone wants to eat food in their hands,’ Stevie had said. ‘Many like to sit down at a proper table indoors. You’ll see.’
Kazz was keeping her fingers crossed that she would see an upturn in sales, too. The bookshop had been doing better than she had expected, and she was now quietly hopeful that she could make a success of it long term. She was still adjusting to the slower pace of life in Tanglewood, but Saul was helping with that, even though they didn’t see each other every evening, so some days after work she was at a loose end.
But she was getting used to living on her own. It had been somewhat of a roller-coaster (the Christmas festival didn’t sport one of those, thankfully, else Saul might have wanted a go) and at first, she had relished having a place all to herself, had revelled in the peace and solitude of the flat above the tea shop. Then she had come to dread it, feeling lonely and restless, unused to not having people around her. But now, she was beginning to appreciate it. Most of the time, that is; more and more she had found herself wanting to be with Saul.
Unbidden, Stevie’s warning that Saul rarely made it past a fifth date forced itself into her mind, and she flinched. Was tonight date number four or five? And were they still at the dating stage, or did she and Saul have an actual relationship? It felt like a relationship to her, but she couldn’t be certain that he felt the same way, and she didn’t feel confident enough to ask.
‘I love the Christmas festival,’ Saul announced, licking cream from his lips. He had already eaten all the marshmallows on the top of his drink, and she saw him eyeing hers speculatively.
‘Oh no, you don’t,’ she said. ‘These are mine.’ She scooped one up with her finger and popped it in her mouth, the gooey sweetness exploding on her tongue. The drink even had a red-and-white candy cane in it, which she was saving for last.
‘This is the real start of Christmas, as far as I’m concerned,’ he was saying. ‘You should take some time out tomorrow to enjoy it.’
‘I can’t. There’s no one to mind the shop and I don’t want to close, even for half an hour.’
‘I’ll mind it for you, if you like?’ he suggested. ‘I don’t know a fraction of what you know, but I can ring sales through the till if you show me how to use that card machine of yours.’
That was so sweet of him. ‘You might regret saying that,’ she teased.
‘Seriously, I won’t. You’ll be busy tomorrow and you’re going to need a break at some point.’
‘I admit, it does get a bit difficult sometimes. I hate leaving the shop floor unattended, even if I’m desperate for the loo.’
‘In that case, you must let me give you a hand. You don’t have to look around the festival if you don’t want to, but at least it’ll give you a chance to have a sandwich and a cup of tea in peace.’
‘Are you sure I’m not putting you out?’
‘Never,’ he said. His gaze was intense, and Kazz felt a jolt go right through her.
She wasn’t sure what to say to that, or whether she should say anything at all, because she had probably read too much into it.
He continued, ‘I’m not sure what time I’ll get to you because stuff will need doing on the farm, but I promise I will see you before lunch. Heck, I’ll even bring lunch. I’ll pick something up from one of the food stalls. Got any preference?’
‘Ooh, roast chestnuts.’
‘For lunch ?’
‘No, there’s a guy over there selling roast chestnuts.’ Kazz pointed. ‘I could eat a bag of them right now.’
Saul laughed and took her by the hand. ‘Your wish is my command. If the lady wants chestnuts, the lady shall have chestnuts.’
‘What if the lady wants a kiss?’ she asked archly.
‘The lady can have one of those too; she can have as many as she wants.’
‘How about we skip the roast chestnuts?’ she suggested. ‘They’ll still be here tomorrow. I’ve got something equally as toasty in mind.’
And when she darted into the flat and dragged him into the bedroom, Kazz forgot about roast chestnuts and everything else to do with the outside world, and she had the feeling that Saul did, too.
Saul hadn’t entirely forgotten about the chestnuts, and when he presented Kazz with a brown paper bag as he walked into her bookshop on Saturday morning, she burst out laughing.
While she peered into the bag, Saul feasted his eyes on her. She was wearing a red knitted jumper with a reindeer on the front, had antlers on her head, and was wearing slim-fitting black jeans. She looked utterly gorgeous and incredibly cute, and he would dearly have loved to whisk her off to bed, the way she had done to him last night.
But obviously he couldn’t – she had a shop to run and he had promised to help. He settled for a swift kiss instead, then wandered around the shop to familiarise himself with where everything was.
When his gaze fell on the window display with the padded wingback chair, heat flooded through him. That was where they had shared their first kiss – and what a kiss it had been.
He couldn’t prevent a huge smile from spreading across his face and he hastily checked to see whether anyone had noticed that he was grinning like an idiot; he wanted to help customers, not put them off.
After having a quick scan around the shop, he returned to the counter, and Kazz showed him how to operate the card machine and where the wrapping materials were kept. He was eager to have a go, so he served the next customer by himself, even indulging in a bit of banter as he waited for the payment to go through.
‘You’re a natural at this,’ Kazz said. ‘You’re wasted on sheep and tractors.’
‘There you go,’ he said to the customer. ‘Don’t forget to pop back in soon; new stock – or should I say old stock, ha ha – is coming in every day.’
When the customer was out of earshot, Kazz hissed, ‘But it’s not, is it? I’ve got no new stock at all.’
‘Why not?’ Saul was puzzled. He realised the shop had only been open a matter of weeks and Kazz’s main objective was to sell her grandad’s books, but—
He froze as a realisation hit him. Kazz had no intention of continuing with the bookshop after the lease ran out. She couldn’t have, otherwise she would be making arrangements to acquire more stock.
Dismay filled him, and not because the bookshop would be no more, but because without it to keep her here, Kazz would have no reason to remain in Tanglewood.
An ache began in his chest, and it quickly spread to the rest of him at the thought that her time here might be limited. But wasn’t his ? He had already decided that remaining at the farm wasn’t an option and had made a tentative attempt to look for a farm of his own to rent. However, the odds of said farm being anywhere near Tanglewood were slim. Which meant that even if Kazz did make a permanent home for herself in the village, he would probably be leaving it at some point.
If Kazz had been any other woman, her leaving wouldn’t have bothered him in the slightest.
If Saul had kept to his vow of giving up dating for the foreseeable future, it wouldn’t have mattered. But it did matter, and that was because he felt more for Kazz than he’d ever felt for anyone else – except Joelle.
But Joelle was in his past, and he was floored by the realisation that he wanted Kazz to be in his future. The question he had to ask himself, though, was… did she want to be in his ? Or was she treating him the same way he had treated numerous other women, as a bit of fun and someone to pass the time with. And if she was, did it serve him right?
He concluded that it probably did. He mightn’t have set out to deliberately hurt anyone, but he knew he had, nevertheless. In his defence, he had never let it go too far. He had always pulled away before the woman he was dating did anything silly, like fall in love with him, but that didn’t make him feel any better about himself right now. He had been so intent on having a good time, without the commitment, that he hadn’t properly stopped to consider anyone else’s feelings.
Did that make him a jerk? He kind of thought it did, and he wasn’t proud of it. But the irony was, he wasn’t behaving like a jerk when it came to Kazz. He genuinely liked her more than was probably wise. Karma was getting her revenge because the way things were heading, he was about to be the one getting hurt.
He wished he had been able to keep to his vow to stay away from women, but how could he stay away from the only woman who had crept under his skin in years?
She said, ‘Are you OK? You look a bit strange.’
He felt it, too. ‘I’m fine, just wool-gathering. Do you trust me enough to leave me on my own in the shop?’
‘I most definitely do!’
‘Don’t sound so surprised,’ he said, with a chuckle to show he wasn’t taking offence.
‘Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m not surprised in the slightest. Not now.’
‘But there was a time when you would have been?’ He was still teasing, but he was also curious.
‘There was, but that was before I got to know you. Do you mind if I go out for a bit? I won’t be long, but I’d like to soak up some of the atmosphere.’
‘Take as long as you want,’ he said. ‘If I get stuck, I can always ring you.’
‘True. OK, if you’re sure.’ She gave him a quick kiss. ‘I’ll see you in a bit.’
She went out the back to fetch her coat and bag, and when she reached the shop door, she paused to give him a wave.
Saul raised his hand to wave back, and that was when he saw someone who made his stomach turn over.
Kazz was holding the door open for a woman who was about to enter the shop, a woman he knew only too well.
What the hell was Joelle doing here?!