Chapter 14
Pepper
The lovely sweet smell of red beans and lotus seeds hung in the kitchen.
After days of cooking the filling and making dough, it was becoming a familiar scent.
The festival was only a week away, and I was determined to perfect the process.
I wanted these mooncakes to be immaculate, and I wasn't even pretending it was to make Eva and Max feel welcome.
This was all for Lian.
I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her teaching me the recipe, and how much I wanted her to stay in Purple Oak.
My mind drifted back to our kiss and I touched my fingers to my lips.
It had been short and sweet, and I'd been careful not to get carried away, but it still lingered.
The touch of her and the taste of her, it had been consuming me ever since.
A first kiss was never meant to come as a surprise, it was an answer to an invitation.
I thought the invitation had been there, but it seemed like I misread the situation after all.
But if that was true, why couldn't I stop thinking about it?
I groaned. In truth, I was disappointed in myself.
What if I made Lian uncomfortable? What if she was upset?
I should've been more careful even when she had been standing so close, when her heart-shaped lips called to me and I'd been too weak to refuse the call.
It was just Lian, she did things to me that I hadn't experienced since my last relationship, and it was hard to ignore.
A knock on the doorframe made me turn around, and there she was. Lian, looking so beautiful and graceful in her colourful and elegant silk dress. She was smiling, which was a surprise given the way we'd left things, but she did seem a little hesitant.
That was on me.
"Hey," I said, wondering if she had come to draw a hard line between us.
That would be upsetting, but I would understand.
I had made a mess of it when I knew better, especially considering these were esteemed guests.
I couldn't let my heart, or other parts of me, ruin this for the village.
I knew no one would really hold it against me, but I would.
And I wouldn't be able to continue running the Town Hall's kitchen, because what kind of cook turned away her guests by kissing them?
Lian crossed the threshold of the kitchen, which felt like a good sign. "Hi."
"I didn't expect to see you," I said, remaining steady in my spot by the stove. I didn't want her to worry about me making another move on her.
She came closer. "I could smell the mooncake fillings, and I said I was going to help you make them." Her gaze fell to the table where the moulds were currently sitting.
My throat constricted. She was so sweet, and that made this whole thing worse. I couldn't even tell if she was here because she wanted to be or out of obligation. Lian was a hard person to read but our time together had made it very clear that she was dutiful and committed.
"You don't have to help if you're uncomfortable being around me," I said, wanting to give her an easy out.
Lian went to wash her hands in the sink. "I'm not uncomfortable."
"You sure?" I checked.
"I like the...vibes of your kitchen," she said, moving her hands through the air as I had. "Did I use that right?"
I felt myself smile. "Yes, you did, but you don't have to make the hand gesture."
"This?" she said, fluttering her hands again. "But that's how you said it."
"That's just how I said it at the time, it's not a requirement," I responded.
She moved her hands again, drawing attention to her fingers. "But it's a fun gesture. And a fun word. Vibes."
She was so adorable. Just looking at her was making my chest squeeze tightly and it was my own fault. I had let my feelings blossom and now there was no way to squash them back down without it hurting.
I drew a deep breath and turned around so I could stir the mooncake fillings, mostly because it was giving me something to distract myself with, but I also didn't want them to burn, especially when Lian had stressed just how important that was when teaching me how to make them.
I was lucky she'd had the patience, not to mention the lotus seeds that I needed in order to make them properly.
"It smells good," Lian said, her voice coming from much closer than expected.
I stayed facing the stove, gripping the edge. Keeping my distance was going to be harder than expected, especially when I could smell her floral scent again. She probably had no idea what she was doing to me.
Lian reached for a wooden spoon and gave the red beans a stir. "That looks a lot smoother than the first version."
"I made a trip to the Millers and used their grain mill to grind the beans and lotus seeds finer," I said, showing her a bowl with filling that I finished earlier. "Here, try it."
She tasted both, drawing my attention back to her lips. "That's great."
"Too smooth?" I asked, wondering if I had gone too far.
"No, this makes them taste really luxurious. Max is going to love this. Red bean filling is his favourite," she said, sounding genuinely happy.
It was making my stomach flutter. I put in a lot of time and effort to impress her, and I was proud of my skills as a cook. I wanted her to like my food. Even more so when it was food to make her feel comfortable and cared for.
"I was thinking I could make a lot of them, and maybe we can take some to the festival and share them with the residents of Purple Oak?
I think everyone will love trying something from your homeland," I suggested, wondering if I was overstepping again.
"You can say no if you think that's not appropriate. "
Lian gave me a smile. "If it's not too much work, that sounds nice. Mooncakes are meant to be gifted, so it would be nice to share them."
"Then I'll be making mooncakes with all my spare time," I promised, determined to make this happen.
Food was such a great way to connect people, and I didn't just want to share our food and customs with the Ju Fengs, I wanted them to feel like they could leave their mark on Purple Oak too.
I wanted them to know that they and everything about them were welcome here and that they didn't have to lose important parts of themselves in order to fit in.
That was the kind of place this town was.
"We'll be making mooncakes with all our spare time then," Lian corrected me, sounding very resolute about it.
I nodded, both elated and despairing about spending more time with her. I wasn't sure how I was going to manage being around her so much without slipping up and saying something that I shouldn't. Or touching her.
"Thank you for caring so much," Lian said, stepping closer and putting her hand on my arm.
My skin heated where she touched me, and I felt my stomach tighten. "Of course. I know it's soon, but I've come to care about you."
Lian wetted her lips, drawing my attention to them again. Being this close to her was making my thoughts slip away, and that was bad. Especially when she was stroking my arm and looking at me with those dark, alluring eyes.
"Lian..." I said, a warning of sorts. Or an invitation.
I honestly wasn't sure. If this were anyone else, I would think she was giving me the signals to make a move, but with Lian, I wasn't too sure.
Mostly because I thought she'd given them before, but then she'd shut things down after the kiss and made it clear that I'd been wrong.
She closed the gap this time, pushing herself up on her toes and holding onto me even more to bridge the distance between our lips. I melted into the kiss, the tension in my stomach flowing away and turning into a different feeling.
This was not what I expected, especially not after how we left things last time.
When she pulled back, my thoughts were spinning. I searched her face for any indications that she was upset or unwilling, but I didn't find any signs. She was the one who kissed me after all.
I touched her face, just to make sure I wasn't imagining it. "I'm not complaining but I'm a little confused. I thought you said we shouldn't do this again?"
"I know, but then I talked to my cousins and they assured me it was all right," Lian said.
Surprise sparked up in me, that was not what I expected her to say. "You talked to Eva and Max about our kiss?"
Lian nodded. "It was very helpful. They advised me to talk to you because we might leave."
Panic hit my chest. Had I already chased the weather witches away? That wasn't a good indication of me as a cook or as someone working for the good of Purple Oak.
"Someday," she clarified quickly. "In the future. Not now."
My breath returned. "You scared me. I thought you meant you were making plans to leave already."
"No, we're planning on being here for a while, but that could change. That's how it often is for weather witches. It's hard enough as it is, and it's much harder when I have ties to people. It's very painful to leave loved ones behind, or be the one who is left behind."
I nodded, not surprised she felt like that. "I know that very well, but there's no sure thing in life. I learned that when my dad passed away."
"Yes, so I don't want to move forward with you and then become a source of pain if I have to leave.
Eva and Max said I don't have to go with them, but I can't imagine not living near them.
" Lian sounded pained. "I've been raised to look after them, to make sure they have everything they need.
I don't know who I am without them or even what I would do. "
The cracks in her voice were tugging on my heartstrings, and I moved closer, deciding that extending some comfort wasn't crossing any lines. She was confiding in me, and I didn't want her to think I was unfeeling or uncaring about it. It sounded hard.
"I don't know your cousins very well, but it seems like they value and love you a lot. I don't think they would want you to be without love. People to love and things to love," I said carefully.
Lian looked heartbreakingly vulnerable. "They said that. I just don't know where to start."
"I have an idea," I said slowly. "I know a place you might like. It's a herb garden. Sort of. It's something you have to see, but it's quiet and close by. Maybe I could take you there?"
"I think I would like that."
"All right, then we'll go." My heart skipped a beat at the thought of getting to spend time alone with her away from the kitchen.
But I should also make sure to not rush her, especially if she was going through something about her purpose in life and where it slotted in with that of her cousins.
Maybe all I needed to do was show her the wonders of Purple Oak so that she felt like she could stay.