Chapter 48 - Lucy
I have been gone for seven days.
Seven days of borrowed time zones and sleepless nights. Seven days of airports that all blur together, of hotel rooms that never quite feel real, of living out of a carry-on because unpacking feels like admitting I might stay longer than planned.
Seven days of holding myself together because there wasn’t room to fall apart.
The specialist I am chasing is Dr. Elias Kohler, and he is not what I expected.
He’s young and brilliant. It comes across as sharp edges and a dangerous amount of confidence. He listens like someone who is used to being chased, accustomed to deciding whose desperation is worth his time.
At first, I’m invisible to him.
So I make myself impossible to ignore.
I follow him from meeting to meeting. I wait outside whatever room he is in.
I talk when he doesn’t ask questions and stop when he does.
I don’t hold back the truth, and I don’t dramatize it either.
I tell him about my mother’s lupus, about the organ damage that keeps cascading, about how every treatment stabilizes one thing only to push another system closer to failure.
I don’t cry.
I don’t beg.
I tell him she’s getting worse.
And I look him in the eye and let him see everything I have carried for so long when I tell him, "I will not lose her to this."
Graham stays close, steady, a quiet presence behind me. He offers his weight when it’s needed, but mostly he lets me fight. Let's me lead. Let's me prove that this isn’t about money or influence or convenience. It’s about my mom and the time she has left.
Eventually, Kohler stops brushing me off.
He asks questions. Hard ones. Precise ones. He challenges Dr. Teller’s approach, not cruelly, but decisively. He agrees that my mother isn’t strong enough to be transferred, but if he comes with me, if he can adapt the treatment around what her body can still handle…
He pauses.
Considers.
Exhales slowly.
“I’ll come.” he says.
I don’t feel triumphant.
I feel like my lungs finally remember how to work.
By the time we land back in Chicago, my body feels hollowed out. I’m exhausted, and I don't think even sleep will fix it. My emotions are packed tightly inside me, fragile as glass.
I promise Kohler a hotel near the facility. Tell him I’ll pick him up later and bring him in once he’s rested. He nods, already half gone, mind racing ahead to the work.
We disembark.
Graham huffs a quiet laugh beside me, something that sounds like. “More cars than just mine.”
I don’t look up.
I don’t want to.
But I feel his presence.
I take a deep breath and look.
Julian is standing beside his car.
The sight of him hits me like a physical blow.
He looks… wrong. Rumpled. Unshaven. Like someone who hasn’t slept properly in weeks. The controlled, polished man I know is gone, replaced by something raw and exposed. His suit is creased, his shoulders tight, his posture strained like he’s holding himself together by force alone.
When his eyes settle on me, his face shifts.
Relief. Pain. Fear.
Something that looks too close to love.
I shove that thought down hard and keep walking.
He moves toward me immediately.
“Lucy.”
The way he says my name is almost reverent. Like it's a heavy weight, he doesn’t trust himself to hold.
I stop a few feet away, grounding myself. “What are you doing here, Julian?”
He looks like a wild animal trying to pass as tame. “I’m here for you.”
Dr. Kohler looks between us, unimpressed. “If this is about to get dramatic, or if there’s going to be a fight over her, can someone drop me at the hotel I was promised?”
Julian steps closer, voice-controlled but sharp. “There will be no dramatics. She’s, my wife.”
Kohler’s brows lift slightly. “Interesting.”
Julian’s eyes flick over me, searching, and then his focus drops, his eyes locking on my left hand. I swear I hear him growl.
He steps closer, almost choking on his words, "Why aren't you wearing your rings?"
Something inside me snaps.
“They mean what, exactly?” I shoot back. “You were wearing yours when you were with her. What good did that do?”
His face darkens. “Lucy...”
“I am not wearing the rings you bought,” I say, my voice shaking now despite my best effort. “I won’t wear them. What’s the point?”
Kohler mutters, “See? Dramatic.”
Julian is watching me with exasperation and so many emotions playing across his face. I almost want to laugh because this is definitely the most expressive, I have ever seen him, the most emotional.
Graham steps up beside me, his eyes scanning my face. I don't know what he sees. I barely know how I feel. "If you'd like, Lucy, I can take the Dr. to his hotel room."
“No,” Julian cuts in sharply.
Another car pulls up, and Rowan steps out.
Julian gestures without looking away from me. “Rowan will take you to our hotel, so you can rest. We’ll coordinate when you’re ready.”
Kohler looks to me for confirmation.
I exhale slowly, feeling the weight of exhaustion. “Rowan will take care of you. I’ll be in touch later today.”
He nods and leaves without ceremony.
And then it's the three of us. I can feel their eyes on me, and I just want to go home to bed.
Julian turns to Graham. “You can go now, Whitaker.”
Graham smiles faintly, but it's more predatory than kind. “I’m not leaving Lucy with you, unless that’s what she wants.”
“She’s my wife,” Julian snaps. “And I need to talk to her. I haven’t seen her in a month.”
Graham laughs as I turn on Julian, exhaustion burning into anger.
“And whose fault is that?” I demand. “Because it isn’t Graham’s. He was there when you weren’t. Stop being rude to the only person who actually showed up.”
Julian looks like he is about to explode, but he just nods.
We stand in a tense silence, and my eyes drop to my feet, then Julian is right in front of me, invading my personal space. Overwhelming my senses with him.
His hand reaches for my chin, gently tilting my face to look at him. "I know everything is my fault, but we need to talk, Lucy. I have so much to explain, and so many lies Richard said that need clearing up." He says softly.
I want to say no.
I want to tell him to go to hell and speak to my lawyer.
But the look on his face stops me. Stripped bare. Unarmored.
I sigh and turn to Graham, hugging him, ignoring the low growl behind me.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” he murmurs.
I step back. “Julian will take me home. We’ll talk soon.”
Graham studies my face. “You sure?”
I nod, and Graham walks to his car.
Julian grabs my bag and opens the car door. Once we’re inside and moving, he starts talking, apologizing, unravelling, words spilling over each other.
“Julian,” I interrupt. “Stop.”
He does.
“I’m exhausted,” I say. “I want to go home, shower, sleep for a few hours, and then take Dr. Kohler to see my mom. I don’t have the capacity to deal with you on top of everything else.”
He nods slowly, swallowing.
The silence in the car is loud. I let out a broken laugh. “I don’t even understand why you’re here. You made everything very clear with your distance and Richard,” I continue. “And Simone.”
He tries to interrupt, but I don’t let him.
“If you wanted to be with her, why marry me? Why do any of this? Was it some kind of game?”
He moves closer, hands framing my face. “No. Lucy, no. I know you don't want to discuss it all now, so I will wait until you are ready. But I did not and do not want Simone. I want you. You are it for me."
I pull away, tears burning. “I don’t believe you.”
“I lo...,” he starts.
“Don’t,” I snap. “Don’t you dare say that to me right now. Those words... what they mean... It is not a band-aid; it is not something you throw around like that... especially after what you did.”
I turn to the window. Rain streaks the glass.
"I haven't had a chance to talk to my lawyer but seeing as some of the.
.."I choke down the tears, and it comes out like a strangled laugh, "Most of the conditions for ending this sham of a marriage were violated.
I don't expect it to take long for the divorce paperwork to be put together. "
Julian growls, "No"
I whip my head back to look at him, "No?
Are you kidding me? You don't want me and my baggage, you made that clear, as soon as I said I love you, you bolted and reminded me exactly what and who I was to you.
.. And then you broke your own contract with the shit you did with Simone.
I will not stay in this arrangement; I am done. "
“You don’t get to decide this alone,” he says fiercely.
“You wrote the contract,” I shoot back. “You broke it. You broke us.”
He tries to pull me to him, a look of desperation on his face, but I pull out of his arms. His hands come up to cup my face and tilt my face so I have to look in his eyes.
Julian says, "Nothing happened with Simone.
I can explain it all, and I will. I know I made mistakes before all of the filth Richard spewed at you.
I know how bad this looks, but if you believe anything I say, believe I never betrayed you or our marriage.
I would never. I haven't looked at another woman like that since I met you.
And I have never looked at another woman the way I look at you, the way I see you.
We are not getting a divorce, Lucy. This is not over. "
I feel tears threatening to spill, so I pull away again, feeling like he is being honest, not sensing a lie, but he's a lawyer, so maybe he's better at lying. Looking back out the window, I whisper, "That's not up to you, Julian."
That's when I realize we are headed to the penthouse and not my old apartment.
"I am not going to the penthouse with you, Julian; it is no longer my home, if it ever was."
“You are, and it is,” he insists. “You’re coming with me.
I need to see you, be close to you, Lucy.
.. I... You can shower and rest. I will have some of your favourite foods delivered.
I will support you with whatever you need for your mom.
I’ll take care of everything. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll explain. .. Everything.”
I don’t have the energy to fight.
I lean my forehead against the cold glass and close my eyes.
And against my better judgment, against everything I know I should protect myself from, I hope, quietly, that he’s telling the truth.