21. Jax
JAX
C andice and I are laughing at something she just said as we walk through the front door of her place.
For the first time in my life, I’m truly happy.
The past few months have been rocky, but wonderful at the same time.
All that indecision and worry was for nothing.
We’ve finally decided to take that leap of faith.
No more hiding, no more secrets, no more pretending.
We are finally a legitimate couple, and what a glorious feeling that is.
Candice stayed at my place last night, so we never got the chance to tell Sophia our good news. It was hard keeping it a secret today at work, but Candice wanted her mother to be the first to know. Tomorrow, I get to tell the world. She’s finally mine, in every sense of the word.
I’m head over heels in love, and tonight I’m going to tell her just that.
I’m scared I’m going to mess up or disappoint her in some way, but I can’t keep going on like this.
I need her . That friends-with-benefits shit was tearing me up inside.
What Candice and I have is special. It’s like nothing I’ve ever known, and if we can pull this friends-to-lovers thing off, it will be explosive.
Just the thought of it has my adrenaline pumping.
When we enter the kitchen, I reach for her hand, interlacing our fingers.
I’m surprised when I feel Candice’s hand trembling in mine.
Am I misreading this? Does she know something I don’t?
I’m not sure how Sophia is going to take the news, but up until this moment, I was pretty confident she’d be happy for us.
We’re made for each other, there’s no denying it.
I give her hand an encouraging squeeze, and she rewards me with a smile.
“Sophia, we have something we need to tell you,” she says.
Sophia turns from the stove and her eyes immediately lock on our joined hands. Relief floods through me when she beams.
“Oh, my God,” she squeals as her hands fly up in the air. “I was wondering when you two were finally going to see it.”
“See what?” Candice asks.
“That you’re crazy about each other.” Sophia wipes a tear from her eye as she makes her way towards us. “You’re perfect together. This is perfect.” She wraps us in her arms.
“We are perfect for each other,” Candice whispers, making my smile grow.
I agree, we are.
“Look, Sissy,” Maddie screams as she comes running into the room. “I princess.”
Sophia lets us go, and we all turn. The smile on Maddie’s face melts my heart. She’s already dressed and ready for bed, but she’s wearing a tiny jewelled tiara on her head. She looks so sweet.
“You look like a princess,” Candice says, leaning down and scooping her into her arms.
“Phia made me pretty. I got a new sparkly dress.” She wiggles in Candice’s arms, trying to get free. The moment she places her on the ground, Maddie reaches up and grabs her hand. “Look.”
“Okay, I’ll come look.” Candice laughs as she’s pulled out of the room. She blows me a kiss over her shoulder just before she disappears through the doorway.
I can’t explain these feelings I have inside. It’s like a dream come true.
“I’m so happy for you both,” Sophia says, snapping me back into reality. “I couldn’t ask for a better man for my little girl. You two have had your issues, but I know you’ll treat her right.”
“I will.”
“You’re a good guy, Jaxson.”
I feel a lump rise in my throat when she wraps me in her arms again. She’s the closest thing to a mother I have.
Our moment is quickly broken when Candice comes barrelling into the kitchen. “What the hell is this?” she screams, holding a sparkly, frilly dress in the air.
“Calm down,” Sophia says. “It’s just a small pageant. It’s no big deal.”
“No big deal?” Candice yells. “You promised me!”
I have no idea what’s going on, but when I see tears in Candice’s eyes, I know it’s not good.
“Honey.”
When Sophia reaches for Candice, she slaps her hands away.
I hear a small whimper come from behind me and glance over my shoulder to see Maddie in the doorway.
She’s wide-eyed as she watches Candice and their mother.
It tugs at my heartstrings when I see her bottom lip quiver and a tear roll down her cheek.
Leaving these two hot heads to sort their shit out, I scoop Maddie into my arms and walk out into the hallway. When those two get going they’re volatile. She doesn’t need to witness that.
“It’s okay,” I say as I hold her tightly and try my best to console her while she cries into my chest.
“Phia and Sissy fight.”
“They’re just having a little argument.” Little argument my arse, it’s a doozy.
“It’ll be okay,” I say reassuringly as I place a soft kiss on her hair.
And it will be. This is not their first argument, and it certainly won’t be their last. They never last long.
I witnessed many fights between these two over the years.
They’re usually in tears and hugging each other within minutes.
“Sissy mad. Sissy hate my dress.”
I gathered that much from what I heard, but I don’t think it’s the dress she doesn’t like, more the reasons behind it. I guess Candice is scared Sophia is going to push Maddie into the life she had growing up.
“Fuck this, and fuck you,” Candice screams as she comes storming out of the kitchen and into the hallway where I’m standing. She flings the dress and it goes flying through the air.
“My sparkly!” Maddie cries as she wiggles in my arms for me to put her down. When I do, she runs over to her dress and picks it up.
“Candice,” Sophia calls out, but she’s already on her way out the front door, slamming it behind her as she goes.
This is worse than I thought. Sophia rushes over to Maddie, crouching down to fold her into her arms.
I stand there stunned for a few seconds, before going after Candice. I still don’t get why she’s so upset over a crown and a fucking dress. I know she hates what she went through as a child, but that doesn’t mean Maddie is going to feel the same.
“Candice, wait!” I yell as I see her crossing the front lawn, heading for the street. Where the hell does she think she’s going? “Candice!” When she doesn’t stop, I break into a jog to catch up.
“Will you just stop,” I say, reaching for her arm and halting her.
“Let me go.”
“No.” I put my arm around her waist and pull her to me.
She struggles to get free of my grip briefly, but I’m too strong for her.
She exhales a defeated breath, and my heart breaks when she covers her face and starts to sob again.
I’ve never seen her this upset before. “Come here,” I say, turning her in my arms and crushing her to my chest. “It’s just a dress. ”
“It’s more than the dress, Jax. You don’t understand.”
“I think I do. You don’t want your sister to go through what you went through.”
“Huh. Sister,” she says sarcastically.
Pulling back, I cup her face in my hands. “This isn’t about Maddie, then?”
“Of course it is. She promised me when Maddison was born she wouldn’t do this. She wouldn’t put her through all the shit she did with me.”
“I get that. I totally do,” I say as I wipe the tears from her eyes with my thumbs. “But it’s just one pageant. She seemed so excited about it.”
“That’s because she’s too young to even realise what’s involved. Those pageants are vicious—psycho mothers and their equally bitchy daughters. I don’t want that for her, Jax.”
“I love that you’re trying to protect her, but she’s not your daughter, Candice.
You can’t tell Sophia how to raise her.” Her passion for wanting to protect her little sister is admirable, but I think she’s overreacting here.
And although my words are meant to comfort her, I can see that they’re not helping.
“This is all your fault,” she says, pushing on my chest.
“What? How the fuck is this my fault?”
“Because if you didn’t leave, none of this would be happening right now.”
“What does my leaving have anything to do with Maddie entering a pageant?”
“Because she’s my fucking daughter, Jax,” she screams, pushing on my chest again. The moment the words are out of her mouth, all the colour drains from her face. “She’s my daughter,” she repeats, in a whisper.
I must’ve heard her wrong. How could that be? When her words finally register, I drop my arms by my side and take a step backwards. “What? Maddie’s yours?” Tears flood her eyes as her hands cover her mouth. “Answer me, damn it.”
“She’s not just mine, Jax, she’s ours,” she says, bowing her head. “If you hadn’t left me—”
“Ours?” I take a second to let her words settle in. “What?” Fucking what? I try to digest her words. She’s lost her mind, I’m sure of it. I clutch my head as I try to make sense of what she just said. Maddie can’t be mine. How?
The air is silent between us as I stand there and wait for her reply. My heart is beating furiously against my ribcage. She’s having me on, she has to be.
A few seconds later she raises her head and makes eye contact with me again. Before the words are even out of her mouth, the devastation on her face tells me everything I need to know.
“I’m sorry, Jax.”
“For what?” I need to hear her say it.
“For not telling you.”
“For not telling me what?” I scream as I reach out and shake her. My heart rate spikes to a dangerous level and I swear I’m going to have a fucking heart attack. She better not say what I think she’s going to say, or I’ll lose my shit.
“Maddie is our daughter.”
“How?”
“How?” she scoffs. “You really need to ask that? The night we had sex … I fell pregnant.”
I stand there unmoving for the longest time. Please tell me she’s kidding. Please tell me that the person I love, the one I trust more than anything hasn’t deceived me like this. Not my Candice .
“Is this some sick joke?”
“It’s not a joke, Jax. It’s true.” She covers her face with her hands and starts to sob. “It’s true. She’s our little girl.”
“Fuck.” My head is spinning as I start to pace. How could she do something like this to me?