31. Jax
JAX
“I ’m definitely buying one of these,” I say to Carter as I help him hose down the Jet Ski after our day on the ocean.
“It’s pretty sick, hey?”
“It is. How much did this baby set you back?”
“Twenty-one grand. These ones usually go for around twenty-five. This guy I ink—one of my regulars—did me a good deal. We can go see him tomorrow if you like.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I seriously want to own one now. I’ve had the best afternoon. I knew coming here would help. It always does. It’s my escape from all the bullshit back home.
After we shower and change, Carter cooks up a mean dinner. I wish I knew how to cook as well as he does.
“How’d you learn to cook like that?” I ask as we set the table for our card game.
“My mum worked a lot when I was a kid. I had to grow up fast.”
I’ve always suspected he had a shitty family life like me. You could tell—well, I could. It was like looking in a damn mirror the first day I laid eyes on him. Trouble always finds trouble. But I still know nothing of his life before we met. Like me, he holds his cards close to his chest.
“What about your dad?”
He shrugs, taking a long pull of his beer. I get the feeling he’s doing that to avoid answering me. “I’ve never met my dad—I’m a bastard.”
“Just because you never met your dad doesn’t make you a bastard.” I chuckle.
He gives me a look telling me nothing is amusing about what he just said.
“I’m an illegitimate child, dickhead. You know, my parents weren’t married when I was born?
Technically, that makes me a bastard. It even says so in the fucking dictionary.
” The anger in his voice is clear. This is obviously a touchy subject.
My mind instantly shifts to Maddie. Candice and I aren’t married. That technically makes her a bastard as well. “People don’t think like that anymore, do they?”
“The narrow-minded ones do.” The torment I see on his face has me feeling bad for him.
“Heaps of people have kids out of wedlock these days.”
“Well, they shouldn’t.”
It’s now my turn to take a long pull of my beer. “So it was just you and your mum growing up?”
“Yeah. She more than made up for me only having one parent. She was great.”
He’s lucky he at least had one good parent, it’s better than two shitty ones. “I grew up with a father, so believe me when I say you didn’t miss much. It’s seriously overrated. My dad is a cock.”
“So that’s where you get your cocksucker side from?” he says, chuckling.
“Fuck off, arsehole.”
He throws back his head and laughs. He thinks he’s a comedian. “Seriously, man,” he says when he finally stops. “I’m sorry your old man was a prick.”
I shrug like I don’t give a shit, but I do. “You can’t choose your family.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Carter says, raising his bottle.
“Cheers,” I reply, clinking my bottle with his. “Who invented parents anyway?”
“They’re not all bad. I would’ve been lost without my mum … I miss her.”
What does he mean by that? Did she die? “Is she like … you know?” I can’t even bring myself to say the word out loud.
He frowns. “No. I don’t know—what?” I tilt my head to the side and roll my eyes back in my head, hanging my tongue out the side of my mouth for extra effect.
It’s my pathetic attempt at playing dead.
“Is my mother crazy? No, she’s not fucking crazy,” he snaps.
“You know I’d punch you in the head right now if she was? ”
“I wasn’t trying to look crazy.”
“Well, you did.”
“I did not.”
He shakes his head and laughs. “What are you trying to say then? Are we playing fucking charades now? FYI, I hate charades.”
“We’re not playing charades, cock.”
“You’re starting to get on my nerves with all this cryptic shit.”
“Is your mum, you know … pushing up daisies?”
“Pushing up daisies? You mean dead?” I nod my head once. “No, she’s not dead. And why couldn’t you have just said that? Pushing up fucking daisies. Who even says shit like that?”
“Me apparently.”
“That’s enough alcohol for you,” he says, reaching across the table for my beer. “I’m cutting you off.”
I draw my arm back and slap his hand away. “Fuck off. This is my first one.”
Placing my lips around the top of the bottle, I take a drink. I keep a hold of it when I’m done so he can’t confiscate it from me.
When he narrows his eyes, I reach into my pocket with my free hand and grab a few dollar coins to distract him, placing them down on the table. I have a pocketful, but I know he’s going to bite.
I see him look at the coins, so I put my beer down and start dealing the first hand. Getting this card game underway will avoid any further conversation. That’s why guys don’t do deep and meaningful, we suck at it.
“Where’s the rest of your coins?”
“That’s all I brought with me.” I shrug, trying to act casual.
“What? Three fucking coins. They aren’t going to get you far.”
“I cleaned the floor with you last time I was here, and the time before that. Come to think of it, every time I leave here my pockets are so weighed down with all your cash, I can barely walk.” I try hard to keep a straight face.
“I thought I’d travel light this week. It was the sensible thing to do. ”
“You’re a dick, you know that right?”
“How can I forget when you keep reminding me?” I take another chug of my beer. “Does your mum live up this way? Is that why you moved here?”
I don’t know why I keep bringing up his family.
Maybe because that damn letter I sent my mother is weighing heavily on my mind.
It’s been almost ten days, and I still haven’t received a reply.
Even though I didn’t hold out much hope that I’d get one, it still hurts that I haven’t.
My family can reject me all they want, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let them reject my little girl.
“What’s with all the damn questions? My mum lives in Sydney with the fuckwit .”
“Fuckwit?”
“My stepdad.”
“I take it you’re not a fan of his?”
“He’s a cocksucker like your old man. Maybe they are related. They’re probably cousins or some shit.”
I chuckle. “Maybe.” I’m a private person too, so I can understand his hostility. “Is that why you moved away?”
“Nah, not really. I moved up here to get away from the kid next door.”
“To your apartment?”
“No. She lived next door to my mum and the fuckwit.”
“You let a kid drive you away?”
“Technically, she isn’t a kid … far from it.” He leans back in his chair and sighs, and I can tell by the dreamy look on his face that he’s thinking of her, and not in a friendly way either, if you catch my drift. “She’s my age, but not very tall, so I call her ‘kid’ to annoy her.”
“Was she a stalker or something?”
“No.” He laughs. “She was a pain in my arse, but pretty cool. I moved up here to put some distance between us.”
“Ah, so you’re in love with her, and you’re running away from your feelings instead of facing them?” I only know that because that’s exactly what I did with Candice.
“Hardly,” he scoffs. “I don’t do love.”
I’ve said the same thing a thousand times, so I know he’s lying. His words say one thing, but his body language says something entirely different.
“Right. Keep telling yourself that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You love her.”
“I don’t,” he exhales on a deflated breath before going quiet. I know I’m right. He starts to pick at the label of his beer bottle before his eyes finally meet mine. “So what if I do?”
See, I was right. He’s full of shit. The more I get to know him, the reasons I was so drawn to him in the beginning become clearer. We’re so alike it’s uncanny.
He goes quiet again, so I decide to cut him some slack. “You know how we talked about one day possibly going into business together, by starting our own franchise?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I think I have our first shop, if you’re still interested.”
He nods. “Tell me more.”
“Remember how I told you about my first part-time job? The one I got when I moved to Sydney? Working at that parlour in Surry Hills on weekends.”
“Yeah.”
“I kept in contact with my old boss, and he wants to get out of the game. He’s buying a boat and moving to Queensland.
It’s an established business in a prime location.
We were always flat out when I worked there.
When I told him I was interested in possibly taking over, he let me go over the books.
It’s a winner—he does well. A few of his artists are interested in sticking around and we can find someone we trust to run it. ”
“How much is he asking for it?”
“Believe it or not, the market value of the building and the price of the shop fittings.”
“That’s it?” he asks. “What about his clientele? That’s gotta be worth a bit.”
“He’s looking for a quick sale, and like I said, he’s a friend of mine.
That’s all he’s asking for, but we need to give him an answer soon.
I’ve already talked to the bank. With the equity I’ve built up in my shop, I can get a loan with no problems. I’m sure you’d be in the same boat.
We could easily make the repayments—it pulls in some big bucks. ”
“Fuck, yeah. I’m keen. Let’s do it.”
We bump fists. I have a really good feeling about this.
“Awesome. I’ll call him in the morning and we can get the ball rolling.”
It looks like Carter and I are going into business together.
I have to leave work early on Monday so I can pick up Maddie from school because Sophia has a modelling job this afternoon.
She does a lot of catalogue work for department stores.
Maddie still stays with me on Tuesdays, even though most of her time is spent at school.
I’ve come to resent the fact that I have to give her back when our time together is over. I want her with me always.