21. Tiffin Talks Honor Board #3
“‘Ding-dong, the witch is dead,’” Davi whispers in Charley’s ear as they help themselves to two Greedy Grinches from the mocktail bar. Davi doesn’t like to gloat, but she’s happy to have Liam all to herself at the Kringle.
“Rumor has it Liam was at Pippa’s that day, but he left,” Charley says.
Liam and East are over at the food table, smashing the cheese fondue.
Davi has heard all the rumors—about the drugs, about Reed getting with both Pippa and Cassie at once (Davi tries not to picture her parents with Saylem), and she also heard that Liam was, initially, present.
But Davi received a text from Liam at five o’clock, asking if she wanted to study together after dinner.
Davi had been tempted to ask: What about Pippa? But instead she just said: Sure.
She’s proud of Liam for leaving Pippa’s house when things became untenable (“unsound, indefensible”).
She would never ask, but she’s pretty sure that, because of what happened to his brother, Liam didn’t want to be around the drugs, and he wouldn’t have wanted to ruin the chance he’d been given at Tiffin.
Pippa has been expelled and Olivia H-T was banned from the Kringle, so now Tilly Benbow, minus her only two friends, sits alone with a box of water and a plate of Chef Haz’s cheddar tartlets in front of her.
Comparisons are odious, Davi thinks. But there’s no denying that Davi and Charley are back on top, while those other three have self-destructed.
It’s nothing short of a Christmas miracle.
Taylor feels like such a fraud. As soon as the Honor Board hearing was over, she raced upstairs to throw up in the girls’ bathroom. She couldn’t sneak off camp again, so she opened a new DoorDash account—one her parents wouldn’t see—and ordered a pregnancy test and two bottles of ginger ale.
The test was positive. Of course it was.
Taylor was too stunned to cry. Who was she to pass judgment on Pippa Sacks when she herself had fucked up so badly?
She considered texting Hakeem… but instead, she texted Dub. I need to talk to you tonight. Alone.
Ofc, Dub responded. Give me a sign.
She wears a black velvet slip dress to the Kringle. Hakeem says, “Push-up bra?”
She can’t tell Hakeem. Not yet, maybe not ever because she is just so furious.
There was one night, one stupid night, when he’d persuaded her to let him skip using a condom—and like a stupid, horny fool who in that moment cared only about making Hakeem feel good, she agreed.
She should have taken Plan B directly after, but did she?
No. She was too busy writing a paper for history.
She told herself it would be fine, she was early enough in her cycle that she hadn’t ovulated yet.
Now, by her own calculation, she’s five or six weeks pregnant.
At the Kringle, people approach Taylor with a respect bordering on reverence. In their eyes, she was the one who kicked out Pippa Sacks. Little do they know she’s an impostor: the pregnant chair of Tiffin’s Honor Board.
“You’re a boss,” Sunny Wu says to Taylor as they leave the chapel.
“You’re a boss,” Taylor says. During the service, Sunny accompanied the choir on “The Little Drummer Boy.”
Sunny blushes and Taylor feels normal for a second. But as soon as she’s in the Egg, facing down a chafing dish of meatballs, she bolts for the ladies’ room.
Dub intercepts her on the way. “Hey,” he says. “Hakeem went to change out of his fancy shoes. Do you want to talk now?”
Taylor says, “I can’t, I’m going to…” She bursts into the bathroom, locks herself in the big stall, and starts to retch. Thank god the bathroom is empty.
“Tay?”
Taylor’s eyes squeeze out tears as she expels the contents of her stomach. Dub followed her in here. He is the best friend she will ever have.
“Get out,” she says.
He knocks on the stall door. “Open up. I’ll hold your hair.”
Taylor spins the lock and Dub slides into the stall alongside her.
“Is this what I think it is?”
“Yes,” she whispers. She flushes the toilet and wipes at her mouth, then she starts to sob. “My life is over. I’m supposed to go to Duke, I’m supposed to have a career, not be the star of Teen Mom.”
“I’ve got you,” Dub says, squeezing her. “I’m here. I’ll help.”
“Help raise a baby?” Taylor says.
Dub brings her to arm’s length so she has to look him in the eye. “Is that what we’re talking about here? Keeping the baby? What does Hakeem say?”
“Hakeem doesn’t know. I haven’t told anyone.”
Dub embraces her again. “Okay, okay, you know I’m safe, right? I won’t tell Hakeem. Just like you haven’t told anyone about Cinnamon’s email.”
Taylor nods against Dub’s chest. It seems unfair that they’re bound by such huge secrets. They’re only in high school.
They can both hear the music coming from the Egg: SpongeBob SquarePants singing “Don’t Be a Jerk (It’s Christmas).” This is Hakeem’s all-time favorite holiday song. He must be back from changing his shoes; no one else would request this.
“We should go,” Taylor says.
Dub pushes open the stall door. “You can trust me, Tay.”
“I do,” Taylor says. Also, she has no choice.