23. Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Three
A humid, heavy breeze trickles in through the open windows of my apartment. It’s day fifteen without a working air conditioner, and I’m just fed up enough to look for a do-it-yourself video on how to fix one myself. My landlord has been ghosting me all week, and his daughter, who acts as his assistant, tells me he’s out of town. I don’t believe it for a second, but I can’t exactly call her out on it or risk her not giving him any of my messages.
Stripping off another layer, I take a sip from my lemonade. This is bullshit. But Laryssa and Kevin don’t seem to be bothered by the heat. They came over for an impromptu movie night.
Laryssa slaps my thigh. “Hey, pay attention, this is my favourite part!”
She insisted on renting Dirty Dancing for tonight, even though we’ve seen it about forty times this year.
I throw my head back against the couch. “If I have to watch Patrick Swayze gyrate one more time…”
“He does do an awful lot of that in this movie,” Kevin snorts.
Laryssa turns to us in horror. “You love this movie, you love Patrick Swayze.”
“I know, but forcing us to watch this movie against our will is bringing out my inner cynic.”
“Fine.” Laryssa pauses the movie. “We can watch Ghost instead.”
Kevin and I groan in unison.
“All right, but I need to refuel first.” I get up from the couch and make my way to the kitchen. “Anyone want gummy worms?”
“I do!” Kevin waves his arm enthusiastically.
As I get back to the living room, gummies in hand, my phone vibrates. I hand Kevin his snack and pull out my phone. The message is from Alden.
ALDEN:
What are you doing tonight?
My expression is neutral despite the turmoil I feel from the message. Things between Alden and me have been tense ever since New York. It’s like we don’t know how to act around each other, and I made it that way. I demanded that he tell me what he wants from me, and I think it backfired. My intention was only to make him think about our agreement and remember that I’m not looking for more out of it.
I thought I was being clear, but I think he took it as me wanting more from him. And now, here he is, reaching out like we’re friends. Are we friends or something else entirely? I really don’t know anymore.
MONROE:
Movie night.
I keep my answer short. Hopefully, he’ll get the message that I’m not in the mood to chat.
ALDEN:
What’s playing?
Is he serious with the small talk right now? Alden doesn’t make small talk. Something is up. But I’m starved for entertainment, apparently, so I indulge him.
MONROE:
Dirty Dancing .
ALDEN:
Is that the one with Swayze?
My smile grows when I picture Alden hunkered down watching the movie.
MONROE:
Yeah, that one. Have you seen it?
ALDEN:
Let’s just say nobody puts Baby in a corner.
I’m going to die. I cover my mouth with my fist, unable to stop myself from laughing. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he has seen Dirty Dancing .
MONROE:
I can’t believe you’ve seen DD. What else are you going to tell me? You’re a fan of How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days ?
ALDEN:
There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Monroe. But I have seen my fair share of romantic comedies, if that’s what you’re asking.
A flutter I can’t seem to tame takes off in my gut, soaring high. There’s a lot you don’t know about me. What is he trying to say? I ignore the double meaning behind his words and switch topics.
MONROE:
What are you doing right now? Let me take a guess: you’re getting ready to go to the opera or something just as pretentious.
ALDEN:
You know me so well. But not tonight. I just came back from the gym, and I’m working on a proposal right now.
My body stiffens as images of Alden’s sweaty body run through my mind. Squirming on the couch, a shiver runs down my back.
MONROE:
Fun. Was there a reason you messaged?
ALDEN:
No reason. I just wanted to see if you were free tonight. It seems you aren’t.
I want to ask him why, ask him if he remembers the rules we set, but Kevin’s voice pulls me back. When I look up, both Kevin and Laryssa are staring at me.
“What?”
“You’re smiling at your phone.” Kevin’s smile is wide. “Why?”
I wave the phone in the air. “Just got a text from that sex toy site I use. Half-off butt plugs. Looks like I need to do some shopping.”
He turns to Laryssa. “She’s such a terrible liar.”
“I’m not lying. Do you want to see the text?”
My eyes dart to Laryssa, who’s been suspiciously quiet from her place on the couch. The look on her face is unsettling. She only gets that look when she’s trying to figure something out.
“Why are you lying to us?” she asks.
Blunt is always her go-to. My stomach sinks, and I feel a pit forming. An endless, black, swirling pit full of deception. And it’s been eating at me for weeks. This is the moment everything comes out. I take a breath to steady myself as I prepare to come clean.
“What do you mean? What would I be lying about?”
Laryssa narrows her eyes. “You only get squirmy when you’re seeing someone. That’s it, isn’t it? You’re totally seeing someone.”
Blood rushes to my face, and I’m sure I’m blushing. Okay, she’s surprisingly good at being a detective, or I’m just awful at keeping my private life a secret. I would be way more impressed if my heart wasn’t threatening to leap out of my chest at this very moment.
“I…” Instead of maintaining my deceitful course, I decide to just let a bit of the secret spill. “I was. I-I am. I mean, I don’t really know what’s happening anymore.”
Laryssa nods, thinking she understands. She can’t hide her excitement, even though she tries.
“I knew it. You’ve been acting strange, and I knew something was up.” She hops up from the couch. “So, who’s the mystery guy?”
All right, time to fess up. But the words don’t want to come. They settle and die in my throat, and I back out at the last second. I promised Alden I wouldn’t say anything, and even though I don’t know where we stand, I won’t betray his trust.
“Uh, no one you know. Just some guy I met on your birthday.” It isn’t all a lie, but it sinks lower into that pit. You’re a liar.
Laryssa squeals. “I knew it! Well, I didn’t know it know it, but I knew it.”
I force a laugh.
“I can’t believe Monroe is getting laid,” Kevin says loudly.
“Thank you for that. I don’t think my neighbours on the fifth floor heard you.”
Kevin grabs my hand and squeezes it. “You’re sleeping with someone. Consecutively. This is breaking news.”
“It’s not a big deal, really.”
Laryssa shakes her head and takes her phone out of her back pocket. “Don’t take this away from me.”
I cross my arms, wholly regretting telling them anything. “What are you doing now? Posting a status update on my love life?”
“You wish,” she deadpans. “I deserve all the credit for this match, by the way.”
Kevin chuckles. “How do you figure that one?”
“Monroe and her mystery hunk got together on my birthday, and therefore, anything momentous that happens will be thanks to me,” she explains. “All monetary gifts can be sent to me via Cash App.”
I hold up my hand. “You’re getting ahead of yourself. It’s super casual and super new. It’s not leading where you think it is.”
Laryssa finally looks up from her phone, baffled. “And that’s what you want?”
I tell them the answer that I’ve been convincing myself of for a while. “Yeah. It is.”
Why would I want anything more? I’m perfectly happy with what Alden and I have, the no-strings and no obligation of it all. It ensures everyone gets out unscathed, no one can get hurt.
Kevin grabs our hands, dragging Laryssa back down onto the couch. “I think this news warrants a celebration. What do we think? Drinks at Mon Marseille?”
“A perfect idea, as usual, Kev.” Laryssa claps her hands together. “And Monroe can tell us more about her guy.”
My heart stalls in my chest. My guy. The two of them bound toward my room, presumably to get ready for our night out, but I don’t move. I wasn’t prepared to hear that, but I’m more surprised by my reaction to hearing them. I don’t… hate it. I really don’t. That dull flutter kicks up again, but this time, I don’t bother crushing it.
But reality comes hurtling in when I remind myself that Alden isn’t my guy—he isn’t my anything. He’s just someone who is looking for a distraction, someone who doesn’t know what he wants. We have that in common. I shouldn’t let my friends project their idea of a happily ever after onto me. Because, in my experience, not everyone gets one. More often, we’re left with more questions than answers and left alone.
My phone’s been blowing up for an hour, but I’m choosing to ignore it. Laryssa and Kevin have been bugging me nonstop to dish about Monroe’s Mystery Man, as they like to call him now. When we were out last night, I remained tight-lipped about everything. I reach for my phone to turn it off, but a knock on the door gets my attention first. Assuming it’s Laryssa or Kevin finally here to shake the information out of me, I don’t hesitate to answer it. But it’s not either of them. It’s Mr. Lindsay, my landlord.
“I got your messages,” he says, avoiding my eyes.
I cross my arms over my chest, glowering at him. “It’s about time. How was your trip?”
He seems puzzled, mumbling something under his breath. “What trip?”
“Your daughter told me you were out of town, and that’s why you haven’t been by to fix the air conditioning unit.”
“Oh, yeah, um, family reunion.”
I know it’s a lie, but I don’t call him out on it. I clench my jaw tightly, trying my best to stay calm. He continues to stand out in the hall, not making any move to come into the apartment.
“Are you going to take a look at it?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I don’t have time today. I have a dentist appointment.”
He’s had three dentist appointments this week.
“Why did you come by then?”
“To tell you I got your messages. And that I don’t have the parts I need to fix it, but they’re on order.”
I shake my head, huffing out a breath. “So, what, I have to keep living in a sweltering apartment until you get your act together?”
Mr. Lindsay’s eyes bulge, and his face turns red.
He takes a step forward. “Listen, I don’t have time for this today, I told you. I’ll come back when I have the parts. If you don’t like the heat, stay with one of your little friends or something.”
“You listen to me—” I begin, my voice getting louder the more frustrated I get.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I see someone heading toward us. When I see who it is, my heart picks up speed. Alden stops just short of Mr. Lindsay, glaring at my balding landlord. He’s a full foot taller and completely eclipses him. The image makes me smile. Alden ignores him, only glancing briefly before focusing on me.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hi,” Alden mimics.
Mr. Lindsay watches the interaction between us, growing angrier.
“We were in the middle of something, buddy,” Mr. Lindsay shouts.
My face falls, and I want to kick this prick in the junk.
Alden casts Mr. Lindsay a bored look. “And now, you’re not.” He steps closer to me, his tall frame forcing Mr. Lindsay to step away from me. “Can we talk?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. Come in.”
Alden follows me into the apartment and slams the door in Mr. Lindsay’s face. I think I hear him mumble an unbelievable , but I can’t be sure.
“Are you okay?” Alden leans against the door.
“Oh, him? Yeah, it’s nothing I can’t handle. Just typical landlord bullshit. He loves making excuses for not being able to fix my air.”
“Still?”
I hum. “It’s fine.” I don’t say anything more, not wanting Alden to worry about me. If that’s what he was doing. “How did you know which apartment was mine?”
“I was planning on knocking on every single door, if I’m honest.”
He rubs the back of his neck, fidgeting like he’s nervous. “But when I saw the only open one on this floor and heard your voice, I knew I was close.”
“Why are you here, Alden?”
“Is your phone working?”
I take a second to process his words. It’s early, and I’m all groggy. “What?”
“Your phone”—he sighs—“is it working?”
To prove that my phone is working, I show him the screen. “Yeah, see.”
“Then I didn’t need to come over here. And your fingers are working just fine?” I smirk wickedly, and Alden jumps in again. “Don’t take that the wrong way, just answer the question.”
I hold my hand up and wiggle my fingers for him. “Yes. Now, what are you talking about?”
“If your fingers are working and your phone is intact, then why haven’t you been texting me?”
“I didn’t realize I left you hanging.” I take a minute to scroll through my messages. “I haven’t seen anything from you lately.”
“You didn’t. I mean, I don’t sit around all day and wait for you to message me, but it’s been two days.”
“And?”
“And it’s been two days. What if someone needed to reach you about something urgent?”
I turn my back to him and head to the living room. But I can feel him following me.
“Whatever you needed me for, I’m positive it wasn’t urgent. Why are you making a big deal out of this?” I sigh, and the realization knocks me upside the head. “Were you worried about me? Is that it? You’re here to check up on me.”
Alden stops in front of me. “I wouldn’t call it being worried. More like a certain wonderment of your whereabouts. You haven’t been as irritating lately, and I wondered why.”
I can’t help but laugh in his face, not fully believing it. “My god, you were worried about me.”
The apples of his cheeks deepen in colour, and I want to run my fingers over them. Alden has a look on his face that tells me he can’t believe he admitted that, either. As if my mind just put two and two together, my mouth goes dry. He was worried about me. I look up at him, hoping to find more proof, and it shocks me to see it flashing back at me like a big neon sign.
Before I have a chance to address it, Alden’s whole demeanour changes. I sense another presence as he tenses up. But I don’t have to turn around to know that it’s Harriet and that she probably overheard our entire conversation.
His eyes widen, and they shift to my right before settling back on me. “I didn’t realize you had company.”
I nod, but before I can get a word out, Harriet cuts in.
“Hi there,” she drawls seductively, and I almost roll my eyes. Her voice sounds huskier than how it normally is, and her tongue pops out to wet her lips. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend Monroe?”
She laces her arm with mine and tugs me closer. Her eyes stay on Alden.
Begrudgingly, I say, “This is Harriet.”
Alden’s got this look on his face, like he’s trying to figure the missing piece of this puzzle.
Harriet’s hand darts out to take his. “She’s so rude sometimes. I’m her mother.”
I can hear what he’s thinking. You never mentioned your mom before. And he’ll know why I haven’t from just a few minutes of interacting with her.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Alden says, taking her hand.
Harriet is many things, but subtle isn’t one of them. She lets her eyes drift over Alden appreciatively, and my skin burns as I watch her ogle him. It’s like he’s a piece of meat she’s dying to sink her teeth into. He attempts to take his hand back, but she keeps hold of it longer. I’m sure Alden isn’t saying anything about it out of politeness, but my irritation builds. It comes to a head when her thumb runs over the back of his hand.
I grab Harriet’s wrist and pull her away from Alden. “Give us a minute,” I tell him as I push her toward my bedroom.
When we’re behind the closed door, I let her go. She’s not happy. “What is wrong with you?”
I gape at her. “ Me ? You were drooling all over the place. I was stopping you from embarrassing yourself.”
She scoffs. “Thank you for the concern, but you’re exaggerating, and besides, some younger guys like a cougar.” She holds up a hand like it’s a paw and growls.
I rub the spot between my eyebrows, feeling a headache forming fast. “For once, can you please just act like my mother and not like… you?”
I didn’t mean for those words to leave my mouth, but it’s too late to take them back.
Harriet crosses her arms. “Don’t you lecture me right now, Monroe. I’ll do whatever I want, whenever I want, and whoever I want.” She raises an eyebrow suggestively.
“Have at it, but don’t rope me in the middle of it.”
As Harriet looks at me, her anger fades, and it’s obvious she’s trying to figure out Alden and me.
She taps her finger against her chin. “Ah, I see what’s going on now. You’re sleeping with him, is that it?”
“No, it’s not like that.”
There’s a twinkle in her eye, but she moves on. “Sure, it isn’t.” She shimmies her low-cut top even lower. “Then you don’t mind if I give him my number, do you?”
Of course, I mind.
“Help yourself. You always do.”
She storms out of the bedroom. Is she actually going to do it? I follow her, debating whether I should just end this and tell her not to give him her number. Harriet walks right up to Alden, who has since migrated to the couch.
“In case you ever get bored.” She winks before she bends down and jots her number on a sticky note. And hands it to him. “See ya.”
With an extra sway to her hips, Harriet waves goodbye to Alden. She shoots me one last glare as she leaves. Alden clears his throat and stands from the couch.
“I’m sorry about her.” I chuckle, although it feels stiff. Gesturing to the sticky note, I say, “You should put that in your phone, in case you lose it.”
Alden steps closer and scrunches up the sticky note. He picks up my hand and places the crumpled ball in my open palm. “I have no interest in taking your mother up on her offer, Monroe. None.” I tip my head up to look at him, wondering why I feel so relieved to hear him say that. “And you shouldn’t have to apologize for her actions.”
My heart trips in my chest. “Yeah, well, this isn’t the first time and it probably won’t be the last.”
Alden stuffs his hands in his pockets, but his eyes never leave mine. “You’ve done that a lot? Apologize for her?” His voice comes out quietly.
“All my life.” I shock myself with my admission.
Nobody besides Laryssa and Kevin knows what I’ve gone through with Harriet, but the weight of it doesn’t feel as heavy when I confide in Alden. Pulled under by my thoughts, I’m not aware that he’s touching me. His grip on my chin is so light it’s almost nonexistent. Gently, his thumb strokes my jaw, like he’s trying to comfort me.
I don’t need him to do it. I’ve spent a long time comforting myself and wiping my own tears, but I can’t ignore how good it feels. Just his simple touch is enough to quiet everything around me. When did that happen? The moment seems too intimate for how things have been between us, and I know I should move away, but I can’t. His other hand on my waist fuses me to the spot, and I give up the fight.
“Why do you let her treat you like that?” Alden asks as he squeezes my hip.
“Because I’m scared.”
“Of what?” His voice is sturdy, resolute, nonjudgemental.
I avoid his eyes. “Of cutting off the only family I have. And of finally admitting to myself that I always have been and always will be alone.” I lock eyes with Alden. “And besides, it’s been this way between us for as long as I can remember. Don’t worry about it too much.”
He stays quiet for a moment, his eyes darkening before they become clear. “I worry.”
My body jolts from his confession. “I thought you didn’t worry about me.”
Alden’s face is just as beautiful and unmoving as ever. “Curious wonderment. Remember?”
His jaw clenches as I step away, and he takes his hands off me. Alden doesn’t have a clue how deep my issues with Harriet really go, and yet his words are right on the nose.
He continues, “And just because you’re used to it, Monroe, doesn’t make it right.”
I shift uncomfortably. “You have some experience in that department, do you?” Sarcasm laces my every word.
Seeing Alden’s pained expression, guilt washes over me. I want to reach out and comfort him like he did for me, but I don’t. My words were meant as a smart remark, but the haunted look on his face makes me regret my word vomit.
“Something like that,” he murmurs.
After a minute, I clear my throat. “Did you come over here for a reason or…?”
“I told you. You weren’t answering your phone.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Alden looks panicked as he tries to come up with a valid excuse for why he’s here.
“I—” he starts, but my phone interrupts him.
“Sorry,” I say, losing my breath the longer he stares at me.
“Are you going to get that?”
Every nerve ending is on high alert when his low voice touches my ears. Before I know it, he closes the distance between us again. A shot of arousal tears through me. My phone’s on the table by the front door. Still ringing.
“Yeah…”
Breaking whatever spell I’m under, I go to retrieve my phone, unaware that Alden is right behind me. His eyes dart to the screen, nostrils flaring. I swipe the phone from the table and see Braxton’s name flashing back at me.