24. Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Four
“He has your number now?” Alden’s voice is gruff. “I thought you said you didn’t really know him?”
I ignore him, determined not to get in the middle of whatever history he and Braxton have.
Bringing the phone to my ear, I answer it. “Braxton, hey.” I lift a brow at Alden, encouraging him to leave, but he doesn’t get the hint. His scowl stays firmly in place. “You just can’t stay away from me, huh?”
“To be fair, I haven’t tried all that hard,” Braxton teases. A blush creeps up my neck, and Alden growls from his spot. My eyes dart to him. Braxton continues, “Are you busy right now? Do you have a second to talk?”
To give myself some breathing room, I step away from Alden. His massive frame makes me feel claustrophobic, suddenly.
“I’m not busy at all.” I shoot Alden a pointed look.
He mouths something I don’t catch at first, but then he does it again. I realize he’s mouthing hang up the phone . I shake my head.
Braxton clears his throat. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about why I’m asking this, but I wanted to know if anything was going on between you and Alden.”
That’s not what I thought he’d say. And I’m sure I’m turning red now. It’s an innocent question, so why am I feeling like this? My heartbeat tumbles when I think about it. I can’t exactly put a name to what Alden and I are to each other. We’re past two people who mutually hate one another, but we’re far from being in any kind of relationship.
Alden watches me like a hawk, and his stare scorches me. I can’t keep up with his mixed signals, his constant back-and-forth. He’s had multiple opportunities to tell me that this is more than some random, casual fling and that he wants something more. But he hasn’t said a word. I sigh, knowing better than to play that game with myself, waiting for something that just isn’t there.
Admitting that I let myself get swept up by the magic of New York and that I stayed awake that night imagining what it could be like to give us—him—a shot, I would be telling Braxton a different story.
But I’ve spent a lifetime wishing for people to put me first, to make me a priority in their lives. Harriet is exhibit A. I can’t have another relationship or anything be on someone else’s terms. So, I’ll put my heart first, no matter how much I want to do the opposite. Because without hearing those words from him, I’m left with nothing more than a fantasy. And that is how I’ll fall apart.
This arrangement, this entire month, is proof enough that nothing more will ever happen with us. And I have to be all right with that.
I take a shallow breath before dragging my eyes away from Alden. “No, nothing is going on between us.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I just—I thought that there was something there.”
“Why?”
“Because I only ever see you talking to him around the resort,” Braxton says.
My heart pounds, and I’m starting to sweat. Have we really been that obvious? I rub my chest anxiously. If anyone from the resort finds out that I’m sleeping with a guest, they’ll have my job. And unlike Alden, I don’t have a cushion of money that I can fall back on. If they find us out, I’m screwed.
I do my best to keep my tone flat. “It’s an honest mistake. It’s fine.” But I feel far from fine. The consequences of my actions seem too close for comfort. “He’s just my stalker,” I add, glaring at Alden, who is hovering by the door, arms crossed as he glares back at me. Why won’t he leave?
Braxton chuckles, but it sounds forced. “Moving on.” He clears his throat. “How are you?”
“Better now that I’m talking to you.”
I don’t bother lowering my voice. If Alden wants to hang around my apartment, he can stand there and listen all day while I talk to Braxton.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Braxton says, but I’m barely paying attention to him as I watch Alden move behind me. He slips his arm around my waist, his hand splayed over my stomach. My breathing grows strained, like I can’t get enough air into my lungs. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“S-shoot.” My voice shakes when Alden presses my back against his front, and he nips at my ear.
Braxton pauses, and I hope he can’t hear how hard I’m panting. “Well, I never got an answer the first time I asked, and I don’t want to put you on the spot now, but I was wondering if you’d like to upgrade drinks to dinner?”
A weird knot forms in my stomach as I listen to Braxton, and I lose track of what I’m doing as Alden kisses along the side of my neck, my jaw, and his hips roll against my ass. Alden’s hand gets dangerously low, teetering on the edge of slipping past the waistband of my skirt.
“Y-yes,” I say, trying to cover up my moan with a cough. My head flies back against Alden’s chest when his fingers dip past my underwear, and he runs a smooth finger over my slit, teasing me.
My hand’s on top of his, guiding him to where I need him.
“That was easier than I thought it would be.”
I’m tuning Braxton out now, not even sure what I’m agreeing to. Alden’s fingers spread me open, sliding back and forth at a steady pace. A wave of electricity and goose bumps riddle my arms, my chest, my bare legs, and I shiver. It takes everything in me not to hang up the phone and give in to Alden fully. Ride this wave for as long as it will last.
But I hold firm, even when he inserts two digits into me. My nails dig into his thick forearm to stop me from screaming out. Every nerve is on fire. White, searing, lapping flames coat my insides when he moves his fingers. But he’s going slow, too fucking slow for my liking. I rock into his fingers, almost spearing myself on them, trying to find more. Alden’s thumb feathers over my clit, the movement light, but it makes my eyes roll back all the same.
He groans softly behind me. His other hand is on my waist, guiding me along to the rhythm he sets. Alden watches me—my face, my reaction, the way my body responds to him. We’re both breathing heavily, not wanting to stop, and I can’t resist any longer. My head turns to the side, and I feel his nose press against my cheek. When he takes a deep breath, I almost lose my mind, feeling his soft skin flush with mine.
Our clothes are still on, and yet, I’ve never felt more stripped bare.
“Keep talking,” I hear in my other ear.
“Where are you thinking of taking me?” I ask Braxton, trying to keep my breathing even.
Alden grunts, and his wrist moves gracefully as he pumps his fingers in and out of me, trying to ease them to the hilt. His hardness pushes into my ass, and I rub against it, driving him wild. He buries his face into the space between my shoulder and neck, muttering something unintelligible.
He removes his fingers momentarily, only to slam them back in. My hand slips from his forearm, and my teeth sink into my bottom lip. When I look at Alden, he has a smirk on his face, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. I reach out to caress his cheek and his hips jerk forward involuntarily.
His jaw ticks when Braxton responds to my question. “I know the perfect spot. Right along the water. You’ll love it.”
Tightness strangles my lower abdomen, the pressure building and building until I can’t feel anything but the familiar tingle clawing up my spine. I’m so close already. It would be embarrassing if I even cared in the slightest.
“I’m sure I will,” I say, my core throbbing uncontrollably, just a hair away from my release. Just to get a reaction out of Alden, I say what I do next. “I’m really looking forward to it.”
Alden tugs his fingers from me quickly, and I whine from the loss, almost forgetting I’m still on the phone with Braxton.
“Is everything all right?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say, panting, ignoring how empty I feel. “Just wrangling my cat.”
Alden is panting as he puts some distance between us. He turns away from me and runs a hand down his face.
“Then it’s settled,” Braxton says. “I’m running late for a meeting, but I’ll text you later to set something up.”
I nod, even though he can’t see me. “Perfect.”
My stomach is a bundle of nerves as I hang up the phone, trying to ignore the man beside me. My pussy flutters when I look at him, but his chilly disposition extinguishes any remaining fire burning within me. For a second, I think he won’t say anything, but I’m wrong.
“So, dinner.” His voice is unnervingly calm, like rolling grey clouds before a thunderstorm. He’s trying to hold himself back. I can see it.
“Yeah. Dinner.” I move away from him before he can reach me. “And it’s none of your business.”
He catches up to me in no time, spinning me around so that I’m facing him. “The fuck it isn’t my business.”
I reel back from his tone, the level of anger and hatred radiating from him. “How is it any of your business who I go out with?”
He grinds his teeth, his jaw looking like it’s seconds away from shattering. “It’s not, but—”
I cut him off. “I’ll stop you right there. It’s not, so drop it.” Exasperated, I continue, “Why do you care? We’re not seeing each other, Alden.”
He deflates, losing some of his fight. But he crosses his arms. “I know we’re not. I just… I don’t like the idea of you and him together.”
“Because you don’t like Braxton?”
Something passes on Alden’s face that makes me question myself, but it’s gone a moment later.
“Yes.”
I soften my voice but remain firm. “You’re forgetting that I’m not yours, Alden. Just because we sleep together, that doesn’t give you the right to be upset over who I choose to date.”
His stone mask slips for just a second and I think he’ll finally say what I hope he will, the only thing I want to hear from him right now, but the mask goes back. And so does the man behind it. His cool and dejected energy makes me angry. I make a move for the front door, but Alden blocks my path.
“I’m not trying to dictate anything.” He tugs at his hair, messing with the perfectness. “Go out with every man in Palm Beach if that’s what you want, but not him. Not Braxton ,” he says, his tone gentler than it was.
“Tell me why not him.”
“What?” Alden gives me a puzzled look.
We’ve been dancing around one another ever since I laid down the gauntlet, but something pushes me to be the first to say it.
“Give me a reason—a good one—and I won’t go out with him.” I stare Alden down and wait for him to say something.
Deep down, I know the answer. I think I’ve known it for a long time. But I want Alden to say it. I need to hear the words because then I can justify everything that I’m feeling for him. But a part of me knows I’m asking for too much. Something is holding him back. And I can’t help but feel that it’s because of me, because he doesn’t want me.
“I’ve known him for a long time,” he says, clearly wrestling with whatever it is he wants to tell me. “He’s not all that he seems.”
Alden looks like he has more to say, but he seals himself up tightly. His teeth grind in protest.
I let out a heavy sigh, not sure why I even bothered. Maybe holding out for him is hurting us both.
My agitation gets the better of me. “Fine, I guess I’ll be going on that date with Braxton then. And no amount of stomping your feet will change my mind.”
Alden’s mouth hangs agape like he’s been one word away from admitting everything to me this whole time, but I didn’t give him the chance. But that has always been my problem, giving chances to people who don’t deserve them. Over and over and over again. I wait and wish for explanations from people who hurt me the most. I’ve done it with Harriet since I learned how to talk, and now I’m repeating the cycle with Alden, letting him feed me some empty excuse I’ll just take.
And then we’ll continue like the part of me he fractured is still intact. What is it about me that always seeks out love in broken places?
“I think you should go,” I finally croak, realizing I’ll be doing myself a disservice if I allow him to stay another second.
“Monroe—” Alden tries, moving closer.
“Just go.” I take a big step back.
Alden’s gaze lingers on me for a moment, his eyes communicating a slew of emotions before he leaves. He doesn’t say another word as the door slams.