30. Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty
Stirring awake, I feel something tickle my nose. My eyes crack open a smidge, and I look around to find the source. The night before comes back to me, and the grogginess that sweeps over me subsides as I force myself awake. I nuzzle my face into Monroe’s warm shoulder as her body rises and falls against me. Our limbs tangle together as I shift gently so that I don’t wake her.
There’s the culprit. Her hair.
With a free hand, I push some of it from her face, chuckling soundlessly at the mass of black hair that blocks my view of her resting features.
I’d like to say that I prefer Monroe the most when she’s awake, when she’s all fire and unbridled emotion. But honestly, when she’s like this—at ease in my arms—is my favourite. I find immense comfort in the fact that she feels safe enough to sleep next to me, in a state that’s so completely at peace. The longer I stare, the happier I get. I’m tempted to watch her all day until I grow bored. But that might have never happened if she didn’t stir awake.
She moans softly, pressing her back against my front. “Morning.” The roughness of her voice makes my dick twitch.
Gruffly, I answer, “Good morning.”
Monroe squirms and accidentally brushes against my groin again. My grip on her tightens, and I grunt as she grinds her ass against me.
“Keep doing that, and you’ll never leave this bed.”
She does it again purposely. “Who said I wanted to?”
I kiss the side of her neck. Her temple. “Alden…” she murmurs. “I can’t. I really can’t today. I have to get to work.”
As she attempts to disentangle herself from me, I groan. “Five more minutes,” I mumble into her hair. “Please.”
She relents, becoming pliant in my hold. A soft moan escapes her when I rub my hardness between her legs, my hand slipping underneath the oversized shirt that I loaned her the night before. My hand winds up her torso, and her skin is hot to the touch. My hand stops at her breast.
Biting down on her exposed shoulder, I growl. My mind is in hyperdrive.
“You should wear my clothes more often.” I squeeze a handful of her breast, massaging the flesh with one hand, my other hand holding on to her hipbone firmly, guiding her back into me. Over and over again, chasing the addicting friction I’m creating for us both.
Monroe’s nipple is already stiff, and I squeeze it when she doesn’t answer me right away. She throws her head back against my shoulder, whining when I tweak it harder.
She answers this time. “Do you like it when I do?”
I’m caught up in the moment, too out of breath to think about my answer before I say it. Not that I need to hide from her anymore; I’m past that now. “Yes, fuck yes, I do. It turns me on.”
To prove my point, I take another hit of the shirt, inhaling our combined scent. Her warm one engulfs my senses, and I feel lightheaded. My cock throbs behind my boxers, demanding attention. When I roll Monroe onto her back, I put all my weight onto my hands and hover above her. I keep grinding against her clothed heat, watching her face twist, her breathing getting heavier.
“I need to taste you,” I tell her. “Can I?”
She nods, and there’s an air of desperation in her movements. I slide down the length of her body, and the damp patch on her underwear elicits a moan from deep within my throat. Fuck .
My finger runs over the seam. “These need to come off.” I grab the cotton material harshly. “Help me, or I might just rip them again.”
“Don’t you dare!” Monroe laughs and wriggles her hips as I tug them down her legs.
She gasps when I drag my thumb through her folds, gathering her wetness onto it. Her reaction is all I’m paying attention to. She shudders under me. I can’t help but tease her.
“So sweet…” I mumble and stick my thumb into my mouth. I remove it with a pop.
Monroe’s back arches off the bed, her skin buzzing with anticipation.
“Is this what you want?” I ask. “My fingers…” My thumb swirls along her hood, pressing gently on her clit, and a choked groan comes from her. “Or my mouth?” I bend forward, my lips inches from her heat. My hot breath makes her eyes roll back.
She’s not laughing now.
“Fuck, I-I don’t care, Alden. Both. Either. It doesn’t matter. Just do something. Please. I can’t take it.”
Since she begs so nicely, I decide to give in to her.
“Mouth it is.”
My tongue is flat against her lips as I lick a strip, causing her body to tremor. She tastes like the sweetest dessert, and I’m ready to feast. I feel like I’m depraved. Starved. I groan, seeing her arousal glistening back at me.
Monroe’s hips buck toward my face, and I smile. I love that she’s just as eager for me to eat her out as I am to do it. I spread her soft folds open with my fingers and spear her with my tongue.
“Oh, fuck…”
My hands grip her ass, and my fingers press into the soft, perfectly round feature. I tug her closer to my mouth, nearly suffocating myself. I circle her clit with my tongue, repeating the process until I feel her tighten. Her shallow breaths tell me she’s close. My index and middle fingers join my mouth, rocking into her steadily, pulling her closer to her orgasm.
“I-I’m going to come,” she cries out, and I push my fingers in and out of her, keeping up the pace.
Her body convulses, and goose bumps rise on her skin. My fingers continue to stimulate her clit, helping her through the rest of her orgasm. When I remove my fingers from inside her, they’re slick with her juices. Monroe’s thighs spasm as I sit up on my knees and use my tongue to clean them off, licking every last drop.
She stirs on the bed, pushing up on her elbows. Her hooded eyes take me in.
“We’re not done yet,” I tell her. “I want you to ride me.”
Monroe bites her lip. “Okay.”
We switch positions, with me leaning against the headboard. Monroe reaches over to the side table and retrieves a condom from the drawer. With a hungry look in her eyes, she rolls it onto my stiff cock. Her touch alone sets a thousand matches under my skin. She moves closer, hovering above me with her knees on either side of my body. When she begins to sink onto my shaft, we both take a sharp inhale of breath. Monroe’s face twists with pleasure, and her nails bite into my shoulders.
The intense feeling in my stomach borders on too much, and I throw my head back. I worry I might come before she’s completely full of me.
“How about this?” She clenches around me, and I can’t take it. “Does this turn you on?”
“Yes, fuck.” I groan, and she does it a second time. “Don’t do that, Monroe. I’m on the brink right now.” My cock twitches wildly, and I attempt to control my breathing.
She finds this all amusing, but she stops. Even with my eyes closed, I feel her watching me, waiting for me to give her the signal to keep going. Silently, I nod, and she continues lowering herself. I use my hands to spread her open, and I sigh when our hips are flush together.
“Can I move now?” she asks cheekily, grinning from ear to ear.
That smile has the ability to melt me.
“Go ahead.”
She sets a slow pace, lifting herself up and then coming back down onto my cock. Her hands drop to my chest, and her forehead rests against mine. My lips suction to her throat, and I hold the back of her neck with one hand while my other one massages her breast.
Her bouncing intensifies, and I feel her starting to pulsate around me. “Mmm, keep it up. You’re doing so good,” I mumble against her ear, sucking her lobe into my mouth.
I run her nipple between my fingers and pinch it. She moans.
“Do you like that? Do you like when I play with your nipples?”
“Yes, yes,” she pants, switching to grinding down against me instead.
That tells me she’s getting tired, so I take over. I flip us over and lay her on her back without slipping out of her. Her legs twitch as she wraps them around my middle.
“I have you,” I whisper. Meaning it in every sense.
My thrusts are steady, and I don’t take my eyes off her.
“More,” Monroe keens, her grip on my back tightens with each thrust. “Fuck me, Alden…”
I don’t have to be told twice, so I pick up the pace and fuck her harder. Monroe’s pussy flutters, and I dip my head down to kiss her hard. Her hands tangle in my hair, strangling the strands as I pound into her. My rhythm turns sloppy, and I’m falling apart. But I know I’m safe to do it with her.
When I pull back, I tell her, “I’m close.” She nods. My chest heaves, and I feel beads of sweat glide down the side of my face. “Touch yourself,” I puff. “Play with that pretty pussy I love so much.”
Monroe writhes beneath me, and her breasts press against my chest. Her hand moves between us, snaking down to her pussy. I can’t help but watch as she rubs tight circles over her clit. My stomach coils tightly, and I feel my release cresting.
My mind wanders to the first time Monroe and I had sex and how it compares to this time. This isn’t rushed or impersonal, and I don’t feel a tremendous pressure in my chest like I had then. It feels better; it feels real and more intimate since admitting my feelings for her. Like how it’s supposed to be. Easy. Unrestrained. Safe . She makes me feel safer and more secure than I’ve ever felt, than I ever thought I could.
A lightbulb goes on then. Is this what it feels like? Is this what real love feels like?
My release crashes over me, along with my realization, and it knocks the wind from my lungs. My body feels light, like I’m floating, as it shakes. Monroe isn’t far behind me. She vibrates as another orgasm rips through her. My post-orgasm tiredness kicks in, and I pull her close.
When I find my breath and slip out of her, I dart up and head into the ensuite. When I get back, warm washcloth in hand, I start to clean Monroe up. We don’t need to fill the silence, and I feel at ease. My whole life, I’ve felt obligated to talk and fill gaps in conversation. But Monroe is the only person who doesn’t expect me to.
After I’ve taken care of her, I slink back into bed and bring her onto my chest. Softly stroking her hair.
“I’ve been lying to you.” Monroe breaks the silence.
My motions stop. I’m not sure what she means, but I want to find out.
“How so?”
“Well, not just to you.” She grapples to find the words. “To everyone. To myself.”
I continue to stroke her hair. “Monroe, you don’t have to say anything.” And I mean it. She doesn’t need to admit her feelings for me, and I don’t want her to if she’s only doing it because she feels she needs to.
She scrambles to sit up and pushes away from my chest. I release her and lean back.
“Yes, I do.” Her voice is hard. Realizing this, she takes a lighter tone. “I do.”
I push her hair behind her ears, nodding. “Okay.”
She takes a deep breath, steeling herself. “All my life, I’ve had this voice inside my head telling me I wasn’t good enough. Whether it was my own voice or Harriet’s, it doesn’t matter, but it’s always been there, conveniently deciding to come out when I get close to someone…” She shifts on the bed. “I guess somewhere along the way, I started listening to the voice instead of ignoring it. It didn’t matter how much people showed me they loved me; I still ran, convincing myself it wouldn’t last. Harriet wielded her love like a blade, using it against me, bargaining with it. She tore off so many pieces of me that I thought there was nothing left, that I was undeserving of love.”
Monroe clears her throat, her green eyes shining with so much emotion and hurt that I choke on it.
“But that’s not the point I’m trying to make.” She continues. “The point is that I’ve been lying to myself for years. Because shoving my feelings away is second nature, being afraid that people will revoke their love at any time, it’s like a reflex to hide away before that happens.” She swallows thickly. “I’m tired of living half a life, and I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t want to hide from you.”
My lips tip up. “So, you’re saying…”
She nods. “I care about you too, Alden.”
I kiss Monroe, and she sighs, melting against my chest. My arms wrap around her, and I deepen the kiss. She pulls back, looking elated but still somewhat cautious.
“You’re safe with me. I promise.”
Monroe returns to her spot on my chest, holding me tight. My eyes eventually close, and I feel relaxed in a way I haven’t in so long. Monroe falls back asleep, her body slack against me.
I don’t know how long we stay like that, wrapped around each other, but suddenly, Monroe’s body jerks. My eyes fly open, startled by the movement.
“Shit, shit. What time is it?” She untwists from me and hops out of bed.
“What’s wrong?”
She turns to me with panic in her eyes. “I’m late.”
My face pales. “What?” And I feel my mouth go dry. My mind races. We were careful, but anything can happen—
Monroe rolls her eyes, a touch of amusement peeking through at my panic. “Not like that.”
Relieved, I sigh. We are not ready for that yet.
“I’m late for my shift.”
“Oh, that’s all?” I cross my arms over my chest and close my eyes again. I don’t need to see her to know that Monroe is scrambling. My vision comes to life as I see her dart around the room to collect all her clothes and haphazardly dress.
“Fuck,” she mutters, combing through her hair with her fingers. “Where’s my underwear?”
A devious thought forms. “I think I saw them over here.”
Monroe moves to the bed and scans it. “Where?”
My hand wraps around her wrist, and I pull her back into the bed. She lets out the tiniest of gasps as she bounces next to me.
I manhandle her onto my lap, and her legs drape over each side of me. “I’m sure they’re here somewhere.”
Diving in, I kiss along her neck. “Alden,” she says sternly, “I’m going to be so, so late.” I hum, continuing my descent toward her collarbone. “ Alden …” Her resolve slips, and I smirk against her skin. “I need to go.” But her actions betray her words. Her head lolls to the side, exposing more of her creamy skin to me, and I nip her pulse point. As I lick it softly, I feel her heartbeat race.
“Not yet,” I whisper and rake my teeth over her ear, grazing my lips along her jaw. She whines. There it is.
Monroe rubs her core against my growing bulge, and my head spins. But she seems to have enough restraint for the both of us. She puts her hand on my chest, and I stop kissing her.
“I like my job,” she announces. “I know it isn’t much where you come from, but I like it, and I don’t want to lose it. So, I should go.”
I frown. Did I really come off that way to her?
“I’m sorry.” My hand brushes her arm. “It wasn’t my intention to make you feel like that. Like I thought less of it, of you. Because I don’t.”
Monroe smirks. “I know.”
She moves off my lap and gives me a quick peck. “Trust me, if it was up to me, I wouldn’t ever leave your bed.” She sighs, eyeing me one last time. “I wish I could work in my underwear all day like you, but… I can’t.” With that, she heads into the washroom.
“I wish you could work in your underwear all day, too.” I’m smiling like the biggest dork on the planet.
“I heard that,” Monroe calls from the washroom.
“You were meant to.”
She’s chuckling when she re-enters the room, wearing nothing but her bra. My breath catches when I look at her, the picture of everything I didn’t know I wanted, and I tip my head back against the headboard. She has to go. She has to go. I know I have to let her, but she makes it hard when she looks like that right now.
“I think Todd would disapprove of me working in only my underwear just a bit.”
I spot her underwear peeking out from under the comforter, and I shake my head.
“Who said it was for his benefit?” I ask, grabbing Monroe’s discarded garment from the bed as she frantically searches around for it.
Her look is disapproving as the red thong hangs from my index finger. She snatches them back and puts them on.
“You really are trying to keep me here, huh?”
I watch her while she continues to dress, enjoying the domesticity a little too much. My thoughts are interrupted by a fully dressed Monroe.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time.”
“It might be news to you, but I can work without underwear on.” She raises a brow. “I’ve done it before.”
I grunt, feeling myself grow hard. “Don’t put that picture in my head.”
She shrugs with a suggestive glint in her eyes. “Sorry, not sorry.”
Monroe is still staring at me.
“What is it?” I chuckle.
Monroe shakes her head. “Nothing, I just don’t want to leave you.”
I’m fighting against my desire to keep her here. So, instead, I take hold of her hand and lace it with mine. I lead her back to me. “You should go. I’ll be here when you get back,” I say it against her lips and give her a parting kiss.
“Okay.”
She’s halfway out of the bedroom when I shoot up, an idea forming. “Hey,” I call and jog to where she is in the foyer. My hand rests on her waist. “Since we’re starting fresh, and I’m a little out of practice, I thought we should start with something small. Do the steps right.”
A blinding smile stretches across Monroe’s lips. “What were you thinking?”
“A first date.”
“We already had a first date.”
I laugh. “So you admit that was a date then?”
She steps closer to me. “I never denied it.”
My heart races as she laces her hands behind my head, her nails scraping gently at the base.
“I want to take you on a real date this time. One where we both know that it’s actually happening.” I get lost in her eyes for a moment, forgetting what I was going to say. “How about lunch? This afternoon. I can swing by and pick you up later. That’s what people who are dating do, right? They have lunch?”
Monroe’s eyes sparkle before she gives me a bruising kiss. “Lunch sounds good.” She rushes out her next words. “Besides, I might as well get used to the company. Looks like you might be sticking around.”
An amused breath leaves me. “I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”
“No trouble at all,” she jests. “But I should warn you, I tend to be a pricey date. It’s not too late to back out now.”
“I’m not going anywhere, not unless you want me to. So do your worst; my wallet can handle it.”
Monroe pokes a finger against my chest. “Fine, but I want you to remember this conversation and remember how you asked for it.” She pauses. “Challenge accepted.” She pulls me close, our breaths mingling together. “Are we really doing this?” There’s excitement and wariness in her eyes.
I nod. “We are if you want it.”
“I want it.” Monroe cuts herself off and kisses me feverishly, like she doesn’t want to let me go. She pours every unsaid emotion into the kiss before I pull away. She chases my lips, her mind erased of the fact that she needs to go.
I keep Monroe pressed to my front, and my dick aches for her. But I ignore it.
“Work,” I remind her.
The fog lifts, and her eyes widen, suddenly remembering where she is and what she’s doing.
She spins on her heels and waves. “Text me later.”
I can’t help smiling as I watch her leave.