Chapter 30 Confessions
Confessions
Alianna had invited Rionan back to her apartment that night.
She had to go home to Shadow, who she felt she had barely seen since meeting Rionan. Since leaving the museum and making their plans, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what he’d said.
When I’m gone.
Alianna knew that whatever they were doing was never going to last forever. At least, that is what she had told herself when she agreed to that first walk on the beach, and the night at the gardens.
But then they’d started sharing more details about their lives with each other.
Then they’d shared heated nights, full of passionate kisses, caresses, becoming tangled with one another at The Rinniel.
Then she had found out that they had bonded with each other on a level that is sacred to Rionan’s people.
Alianna had not admitted what she felt for Rionan, and he hadn’t voiced it to her. Even if the magic that seemed to encircle them knew it, and made a decision for them.
She wasn’t ready to let him go. And so, she invited him to her home.
When they arrived at the apartment, Shadow jumped at Alianna in greeting, running in circles around Rionan’s feet, tail wagging. Rionan bent down, scratching Shadow’s tummy as he rolled on his back, chewing Rionan’s sleeve, gladly accepting his belly rubs.
When he was done saying hello to Shadow, Rionan stood and looked around.
The apartment was easily half the size of his suite at The Rinniel, furniture basic and centred around a television.
He strolled to her bookshelf, skimming his eyes over the titles displayed on the spines.
Romance novels, works of fiction, about men who swept women off their feet. He turned to her, saying nothing.
“It’s not much,” Alianna said, gesturing to her apartment. “But it’s home.”
Shadow brought a toy to Rionan’s feet and dropped it, looking up at him with affection in his eyes.
Rionan breathed in. The apartment smelled of sea air, of coconut shampoo, and perfume. Of Alianna.
“It’s wonderful,” he smiled.
“I wouldn’t describe it as wonderful,” she replied. “But it’s the best I can do in Porthan, on my wage, anyway.”
Rionan watched Alianna as she moved to the kitchen cupboard, taking out Shadow’s food bowl and filling it for him. The dog sat waiting patiently, unaware of the tension between Alianna and Rionan.
Rionan had not been ignorant to the apprehension and sadness he felt in his chest since their discussion outside of the museum. A mix of his own emotion and Alianna’s. The sort of feeling one experiences while they are waiting for news that they assume will be bad.
“Ali, is there something you want to talk about?” he asked, quietly, gesturing to the sofa.
Alianna considered her reply, still watching Shadow.
Slowly, her eyes met Rionan’s, and he was shocked to find her eyes lined with silver.
He felt a weight crush down on his chest, and stepped forward towards her, taking her hand in his.
He knew what was wrong. He knew exactly how she felt, for he was feeling that way, too.
But he maintained his mask of composure, his expression portraying a concerned yet relaxed male.
It would only make it harder if he broke it now.
“When you have the stone,” Alianna started, eyes on Rionan’s feet, “you will leave.”
Rionan didn’t respond, as her feelings of sadness washed through him with every word she spoke.
“You will leave, and I will be here. I won’t see you again.”
“Ali,” Rionan replied softly, “I will come back for you when all is done in Xanthia.”
“And what then, Rionan?” she replied, looking up.
A tear slid down her cheek. “You have told me yourself, you cannot stay away for too long. How often will I see you? How much older will I be every time you visit? Will it be a matter of days before I lose you again, for decades? A brief moment of your immortal life is a good portion of my own.”
Rionan brushed the tear away, the unspoken sadness on her face causing her thoughts and worries to tumble out of her like an unstoppable current.
“We are bonded, Rionan. Why? Why has this happened? You are Xanthian. I am human. In what is only a mere fraction of your lifetime, my life will be over, I will be gone – ”
“Don’t,” Rionan interrupted, voice hard. “Do not talk about me losing you. Do not talk about you being gone. Do not question why my magic bonded me to you.”
“Why, Rionan? Why shouldn’t I question it? It makes no sense. How can we continue this, whatever it is between us – ”
“You should not question it because I am in love with you,” Rionan cut her off, with a firm affection in his words.
She looked to him, tears spilling from her eyes. His mask was broken, and the feelings she knew he was experiencing were written on his face: sorrow, despair, longing.
“I am in love with you, Ali,” he repeated, still holding one hand, raising the other to cup her damp cheek.
“My magic brought me to Porthan to find something to save my realm and my people. I found the stone of the four lords, but I also found you. A light in the darkness. A sliver of salvation when hope was lost.” He tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I will never regret that I am bonded to you. From now until my last breath, Ali, I am yours.”
Alianna stared at Rionan for what felt like eternity, his eyes never leaving her face. He shifted into his Xanthian form, and she didn’t flinch away. She didn’t move. She just took in that strange, ethereal grace, her heart hammering in her chest, yearning for him and breaking at the same time.
She released a breath, not realising she was holding it.
“I will come back to see you, Ali. As soon as I can. There will not be a moment when I do not wish to have you by my side. As soon as it is safe to return to you, I will. As often as I can.”
Rionan pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, closing his eyes and inhaling softly. Alianna could not find the words to express what was going through her head, the crushing feeling in her chest, and how desperately she did not want him to go.
Rionan and Alianna ordered a Chinese takeaway that night, Rionan sharing that he had never eaten with chopsticks before.
She laughed as he repeatedly dropped his noodles, but refused to use a fork instead.
Shadow was curled up by their feet, a candle lit on the table in front of them, and they enjoyed their company in a silence that cradled them into the evening.
Before dinner, they had agreed on what Rionan would do the next day.
He would go to the museum alone and speak to a member of staff.
He would use his powers to get this person to unlock the cabinet that the stone was kept in, and at 3pm, they would switch off all of the cameras.
Rionan would retrieve the stone, conceal it within a bag, and wipe the person’s memories of his presence before leaving.
“Could you not ask them to just bring you the stone?” Alianna had suggested.
“No,” Rionan had replied. “I need to ensure it is brought to me safely, and I can’t trust somebody else to do that.”
As the clock struck 10pm, Alianna nestled into Rionan, his arms pulling her close.
He breathed her in, and she felt a warmth ignite in her chest. It was not a warmth of lust. It was a warmth of affection, of care, and of love.
The feeling wrapped around her like a blanket, soothing her mind, her soul, and her racing heart.
She was his, and he was hers.
Alianna could feel Rionan’s heart beating steadily in his chest against her cheek, and with the way the warmth blossomed within her, she knew that despite what awaited them tomorrow, he felt the same sense of private tranquillity.
Rionan made love to Alianna that night. Their movements were not frantic, their kisses not ravaging and lust-filled, but slow and tender.
Rionan moved between her legs like he was worshipping a goddess, the kisses he scattered down her neck gentle, his elongated canines caressing her as his mouth moved.
As Alianna found her release, his lips moved on hers slowly, swallowing her moans, and she felt a glow in the air around them, cocooning them in the comfort of their bond.
The feeling grew and grew until Rionan found his own release, panting into Alianna’s neck, his mouth barely leaving her skin.
It was some time before he rolled off of her, pulling her into his arms. The feeling of that comforting glow took some time to fade, and when it did, Rionan was staring down at her.
“I love you,” he repeated again, his lips pressing against her forehead.
Alianna fought the words on the tip of her tongue, not wanting to ruin this moment between them. She wrapped an arm around him and pulled herself close to him in this too-small bed, closing her eyes, and drifting off as that bond between them soothed her racing mind.
Alianna opened her eyes and looked around in the dark. Rionan slept next to her, chest rising and falling slowly. The moonlight creeping in through her window gilded his skin, highlighting his Xanthian hue and making him glow like he had been kissed by the night.
The green light of the digital clock on her bedside cabinet cut through the dark around them: 03:12am.
She lay there, staring up at the ceiling, heart hammering with the thoughts that had awoken her.
Alianna thought of what tomorrow would bring. When Rionan would exit her life as quickly as he had entered it.
She hadn’t known him for long, but he had been like a whirlwind. Since she had found him on that beach, she had confessed her feelings of wanting to find some connection, something that mattered, and do more with her life than she was doing in Porthan.
She had found herself falling in love with a male from a magical realm of peace that was being ravaged by war. Words she hadn’t dared to voice to him yet, or even to herself.
She had found herself bonded to him, body and soul.
She had found her connection. She had found the thing that mattered.