Chapter 49
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The next day, Alianna joined Rionan at the service in memory of the fallen.
He had encouraged her not to, to stay in bed and rest. To keep drinking Ykava’s tonics, and try to keep the headache at bay that threatened to come back after a particularly bad night’s sleep.
Alianna had refused. She may not have known every member of his army who lost their life that night, but she knew one in particular, and it was for him that she would face this. She would stand there, next to Thallax, next to Rionan, and pay tribute.
She barely heard Rionan’s words as he addressed the crowd.
She barely heard him make his way through a long list of names that Korva had written.
Not until she heard him read out the final name at the bottom of his list.
“Ulreah Stormbringer.”
Alianna felt a heavy ache forming in her chest, and a lump rising in her throat. She saw those pale, stormy eyes staring at her before he was dropped from the sky. She heard his voice, one more time.
She had brought flowers with her, which she had taken from Rionan’s room that morning. Rionan had not questioned it.
As she laid those flowers on a small memorial that Rionan had commissioned, which now sat in the centre of Savangrad’s most open area of grounds, she whispered those words to Ulreah once more: “For Xanthia.”
Rionan had found Alianna walking through the grounds later that day, her body restless, like she was searching for something, but did not know what.
Rionan had simply walked with her in silence for a while, a sad, contemplative look on her face, echoing the feeling in each of their chests.
“Ali?” Rionan finally said. She stopped and looked at him, not sure what she should be feeling today. She didn’t want to feel this.
He reached out a hand towards her, his eyes full of longing, of pain. Worry flooded through Alianna as they interlaced their fingers.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her words coming out flustered, hurried.
“Ali. My Ali.” Rionan struggled to find whatever words he needed. “I….we…”
“Spit it out, Rionan,” Alianna pushed, stepping towards him now, brows pushed together. “What is it?”
Rionan dragged his other hand through his hair, looking up at the sky, before settling his gaze on her once more. He let out a long sigh, studying her expression, as if he were trying to commit it to memory.
“It is not safe for you to stay here, Ali,” he said, the words finally leaving his mouth.
Alianna stared at him, dumbfounded. Clearly, she had heard him incorrectly.
“Ali, I do not want this. You must know, I do not want to be away from you. But it is not safe for you to stay.”
Alianna gulped. Something in her chest was being cleaved in two. Silence pushed in around her.
She hadn’t misheard him. He was really saying this.
“What have I done?” she asked.
“You have done nothing,” he insisted, stepping towards her. “You have been nothing but everything I have needed. Everything I have wanted. You have been nothing but perfect, Ali.”
“Then why are you saying this?”
Her words sounded so small. So broken.
“There is still so much to put right in Xanthia, Ali. We still have not found who possesses Rannirr’s power. No Lord has come forward to claim the East or South. I have not inherited Rannirr’s power, so we must find who has.”
“Why is that our problem?”
“It is our problem because this is my Realm, Ali. My Realm that you saved.”
“You saved Xanthia.”
“I am simply a conduit for what you gave me, Ali!” Rionan’s face looked physically pained, as if this conversation were causing him anguish that Alianna could not see. “If it were not for you – the sacrifice that you were prepared to make – ”
“Why do I need to leave because there are only two known Lords? You will find whoever inherited Rannirr’s power,” Alianna spat at him, her voice now raised.
“You have said it yourself that you hold the power of all of Xanthia, Rionan. You are more powerful than any of the other Lords. So why can’t I stay? ”
“Because they will know what you are to me!” he shouted, the words a desperate plea.
“They will know what you are, who you are, and what you did for us, Ali. You are the person I treasure above all else, and my greatest weakness. Whoever received Rannirr’s power – they will seek to use you against me.
To harm you. We do not know if Rannirr had an illegitimate heir who may seek to avenge him.
I cannot risk anything happening to you, Ali.
It is because I care about you so deeply that I ask you to allow me to return you home. ”
Return her home.
He spoke the words so plainly.
Return her home.
Aside from her friend and her dog, what was there in Porthan for her now?
It was not her home. Not anymore.
“This is my home,” she begged, tears streaming down her face. “You are my home, Rionan. I was always going to go back to get Shadow, but I was meant to stay here. With you.”
“I know,” he whispered, pulling her to him. She wanted to pull away, to protest, but she felt within her core that he was not going to change his mind. “I promise I will return for you. You have my word, as soon as it is safe, as soon as we know that nobody seeks to harm you – ”
“How long will that take, Rionan? A month? A year? Five years? Ten?”
Rionan did not answer, his face unchanging. Alianna wrestled a sob, but could not hold it back.
“You may not return for years. I will keep getting older, Rionan. I could be so much older by the time you come back for me. And you – you will be exactly as you are now. Is ten years of my human life just a passing moment to somebody like you?”
Rionan winced, like she had struck him with a blow.
“I’m sorry, Ali,” he spoke the words softly, full of pain and regret. “I’m sorry. I will come back for you. I will never stop thinking about you. Never stop seeking answers, so we can be together again. I promise you this now.”
Alianna studied his face. Scrutinised the tone of his voice. The feelings shared between them through their bond.
He wasn’t changing his mind on this.
He was really going to send her home.
She let loose the sob that she had been trying so hard to hold back, unleashing the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm her, and had done all day.
He pulled her into his chest, holding her tightly against him as her cries wracked through her.
Rionan stroked her hair, inhaling her scent one more time, and Alianna wondered if it was so he wouldn’t forget exactly how he would find her again.
***************
She had not said goodbye to Thallax.
She couldn’t stand more goodbyes.
She simply nodded at the general when they walked past each other in the hallways of Rionan’s palace. He had offered her a sad smile in return.
When they reached Rionan’s room, he offered her his hand, a mask of seriousness.
Alianna contemplated refusing to take his hand. Refusing to go. But she suspected he offered her his hand not out of necessity, but out of politeness, looking for her consent.
“I love you,” he mouthed to her as she studied him.
Alianna clamped her mouth into a thin line. Without saying another word, she took Rionan’s hand. There was a bright, iridescent flash, and the sensation of drifting into unconsciousness quickly overcame her.