Chapter 32
Rafe
The air between us is awkward, but not. I want to touch her, kiss her, and she with me.
I feel it, see it in her tense shoulders, her darting eyes, her fiddling fingers.
Yet we danced around each other all day, both too scared to ask about last night in case the response sets us up for disappointment.
I’m a big boy; I should be able to handle it… right. Plus, I have the advantage of knowing Lina becomes my wife, at some point.
So why am I so fucking terrified. Because she will forget us, me. I don’t say that in a self-depreciating way, it’s matter of fact.
“Did you know your ears and nose never stop growing?”
Oh, you fucking goober. No woman wants to hear that. First, I show her my fucking puzzle selection, then bore her to death with facts about the human body. Could I be any blander.
Lina stops peeling the potatoes for tonight’s dinner and pulls on the tip of her nose, then tugs her ears.
‘There surgery or sorcery for that?’
My attempt to hold in my laughter fails, my shoulders shake, making me slice the carrot in a bigger chunk than desired. “Probably.”
‘Thank the Fates,’ she says, prodding her ears some more before going back to her pile of spuds. We sit opposite each other, chopping veg. It’s mundane, domesticated, something life partners do with each other. And I love it.
“Can I take you somewhere?” Nerves swarm my gut at her possible rejection.
‘For surgery?’
My laugh is a bark, it startles me, making me hold a hand over my mouth.
She presses her lips together, smothering her chuckle. ‘Sure.’
Her smile is sweet and assuring; just what I needed.
My marked palm absorbs the Taka, its power thrumming through my veins, my ability binding with my soul. It allows me to breathe. Like I can finally be my true self rather than pushing my power away and turning my back on it.
She slides a hand into mine, her arm coming around my shoulders. I bend, finding the crook of her neck and hold her tight. It shocks me how natural the transition is to me after all this time. A quick rush of blood through my veins and I’m there.
We’re there. Skin on skin.
“Breathe.” She always holds such a heavy breath when we do this, I’m surprised she doesn’t turn blue.
‘That felt a lot smoother than my jumps, I’ll admit.”
“Because you throw too much energy into it. You just need to close your eyes, think of where you need to go and trust in your constellations to take you there. The more you try to control it, the more it backfires.”
‘I know.’
“Wait here.”
I push her into a crouching position in the alley, so she can hide her naked body from any passersby, though this part of town is always quiet.
The window is always left ajar, so it’s easy to slip through, turfing through my trunk to find clothes and boots.
The house is quiet, and if I remember correctly, my former housemates, one of which is a female, had gone to a festival a day’s ride away, so stealing a yellow dress from her closet was no issue.
Yellow, because Lina is so bright and beautiful in yellow.
She squeaks, then chuckles, when I come up behind her, shoving the neck hole of the dress over her head.
‘Warn me next time.’ She places her hand on her chest, watching me tie up the summer dress over her shoulder. It’s a little loose, but she still looks incredible. Her glossy brown hair shimmering beneath the midday sun. And when I finish tying up my boots, she asks.
‘Where are we?’
I grin, standing to my full height, her head arching back to look up at me. Her stunning eyes twinkling with mirth. Not a single slice of meekness in sight. Every day she becomes a little surer of herself. A little feistier.
A little more mine.
I don’t bother answering her, instead, I grab her hand and set off on a steady plod. Lina’s garbled laugh floats in the air and strokes my soul, I glance back, her hair dancing wildly in the breeze.
She’s so fucking beautiful.
Though, while my long legs are plodding, her smaller ones are near sprinting. I sweep her forward with one hand, swooping my other arm behind her thighs and scoop her up to my chest, her arms instinctively wrap around my neck like that’s where they belong; because they do
‘I’m so out of shape.’
She’s panting now, wiping her top lip of perspiration.
“No, love, you need more food. Minerals and nutrients. Sustenance.”
I pay no mind to the slip of my tongue calling her ‘love’ and hide it all by waffling about nutrition.
No doubt boring her to death as I carry her to the park.
“I know your self-conscious about eating, but you don’t need to be. Fuck anyone who stares. If they do, tell me, I’ll take their eyes, and then they’ll be sorry they no longer get to watch the most beautiful woman in the world eat her food.”
‘Smooth, Rafe. Smooth.’
I mock flicking my hair over my shoulder with a feminine touch, just to make her laugh—it works.
“We must be quiet. No drawing attention to ourselves,” I whisper, setting Lina down on her feet behind an ancient oak tree before I pull a blanket and some snacks from Rafe’s—past Rafe’s—pack I stole.
‘I recognise this place. We’re in Alarithia.’ She swipes her dress under her bum to sit down, her graceful action enthralling me.
“Yeah? Here…” I hand her an Eklinese biscuit, watching her eyes light up. She really does love these; I’m willing to go as far as saying more than strawberry tarts. “…and watch the show.”
Jerking my gaze ahead of us, I keep my eyes on Lina, waiting for her reaction.
She gasps. Her plump lips part, looking on in shock and wonder.
I could watch her forever.
‘That’s me!’
“Aye,” it comes out no louder than a whisper, my focus on her face, though I glance over my shoulder and smile at the young, innocent Lina before the bleak world, her husband, got their claws in her.
She sits on the rim of a fountain, bobbing her crossed leg and fiddles with the anklet she later loses.
Her head swivels from side to side, watching, waiting. For me.
‘I’m waiting for someone.’
“Aye.”
‘You know who don’t you?’
She breaks her gaze from her younger self and turns to me, chewing her thumb nail. We never did talk about this moment.
“I do.”
She rolls her lips, returning her gaze back to herself. I watch young Lina too, noticing her shorter hair, only coming to her shoulders in this time. Her much fuller figure—healthy, strong and curvy; stunning.
Confidence mars her face, and you can tell she takes no shit. Clear with how instead of waiting longer, she chose herself and walked away with her head held high. I was the one who lost out on her. My lazy arse should have gotten out of bed earlier if I had planned to stop in Eklin.
‘She left.’
“As she should. No woman should bend to whims of man. Specially one who isn’t punctual.”
I scoff, wishing I could go back and throttle myself.
A dwarven girl in the distance howls because she dropped her cream cone pulling Lina’s attention.
“Here’s the best part of the show.” I duck my head, leaning closer to hide her face, so close our noses almost touch. She gasps again, her warm breath caressing my skin.
‘So you did come.’
All this time, she thought I had stood her up.
‘But…’
“Keep watching.”
I risk another glance, watching my younger self spin in circles in a desperate bid to spot the feisty girl I’d lost sleep over. His choppy breaths, fists clenched around the paper bag and narrowed brows shows Lina—my Lina—the desperation on my face.
“Want another?”
She absentmindedly takes the Eklinese biscuit from my hand without removing her eyes from him.
A small inhalation of breath tells me he’s just sat on the fountain, opened the bag and started eating.
She peers down at her hand. At the biscuit, putting it all together.
‘That’s why you were late?’
“Quite poetic, huh. Funny thing is my roommate had a secret stash of them all along.” I chuckle, no humour behind it as I take a bite of her biscuit that she stares at in her hand.
‘Tell me.’
“Don’t feel too sorry for him, his lazy arse didn’t wake up early enough to catch the first portal to Eklin.
But he chanced it anyways, grabbed the Eklinese biscuits he was determined to make you love more than strawberry tarts, but there was quite a queue coming back because of some lame festival. ”
I exhale a tight breath. How different our lives could be right now. If I dwell too much it’ll gut me, but I’m thankful the Fates tugged us back to each other.
‘If I had just waited.’
“No, don’t do that,” I stroke her cheek, her eyes becoming glassy. “I brought you here so we could laugh at my stupid younger self. Reminisce now we remember.” A tear spills over and my heart sinks.
“Lina, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I don’t want to make you sad.”
She launches at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and nuzzles in, the force making me jerk back onto the grass, holding her tight on top of me.
‘I’m not… I just… Oh, Rafe, how different do you think our lives could have looked?’
“Best not to dwell, love. Makes for a funny story, huh.” I try to lighten her heavy heart, but she snuggles in more. I didn’t think this through, did I.
‘You would’ve succeeded.’
“Huh.”
‘Making me love the biscuits more.’
My laugh is deep and hearty, and I tighten my hold, closing my eyes and breathe her in.
‘Thank you, Rafe.’ She pulls back, our noses touching.
“I didn’t make you sad?”
Fuck, I hope not.
‘Oh you did…’
Not my intention.
‘But you also reminded me of who I was… I miss her.’
Our proximity raises my blood pressure. She sucks my soul out like she wants to take it for her own personal collection.
That’s ok, she can keep it. She’ll keep it safe.
“But you’re going to get her back, aren’t you.”
Even if it’s the last thing I do on this earth, it’ll be to make sure Lina gets herself back.
‘Yeah. I will.’ She smiles. And it’s blinding.
So blinding the park grows dull and all I see is her. She shines in this moment. Her light consuming and warm, I could bask in it forever.