Chapter 1 #3
I inhaled deeply through my nose and felt something strengthening within me, expanding my chest, turning me on further, reeling me in, and making me feel like a predator stalking his prey.
It was fucking heady.
I sank lower on the couch, and it brought me closer to him. His face was mere inches away from mine.
“What a coincidence—because I’ve never had a Little.”
At that, he snuck a glance at me. “Was that the incompatibility that made you and your husband break up?”
The last thing I wanted to talk about was Nathan and our marriage falling apart, but I reckoned I had to give the boy this. So far, I’d only said we were incompatible in certain areas.
“Pretty much,” I murmured, taking in his features up close. Adorable didn’t come close to describing it. “I wasn’t willing to risk hurting him by opening our relationship, and he wasn’t willing to let me have a core kink I didn’t explore.”
He bit at the corner of his lip. “Kinda like James and me…except, we’re willing to explore now—but it’s taken us a lot of time to get here.”
“How much time?”
“Over two whole years.” He widened his eyes, as if that was a crazy amount of time.
I chuckled under my breath.
“Then we met you, and we drove ourselves crazy with fantasies,” he admitted. “I tied him up once and forced him to confess that he wants to drink your come.”
Fuck me sideways.
A low growl rumbled from my chest, and I cupped his cheek, brushing the pad of my thumb across his lips.
“If he’s a good cuck, maybe he’ll get the chance soon. He can drink it right out of your tight little ass.”
“Oh my gosh,” he whimpered.
With that, I slipped my hand to the back of his neck and leaned in to kiss him.
He plastered himself to me the second my lips touched his, and he snaked his arms around me.
A deep-seated desire welled up within me, fueled by years of longing, and I could no longer hold back. I had no reason to. We deepened the kiss at the same time, and I pulled him onto my lap.
Nate moved on. He doesn’t love me anymore.
Jordan gasped as he sat down right on my cock, and I took advantage. I swept my tongue into his mouth, and he was quick to give me a taste. He kissed like he was eager and curious to explore a new world, and he left the last traces of shyness behind.
He felt damn good against me, and he was so small.
I couldn’t help it. It turned me the fuck on.
At the same time, I sensed how easily things could spiral out of control.
It was worth mentioning twice: Jordan was eager.
And I didn’t wanna rush anything. I couldn’t rush anything.
So I slowed us down. I grabbed his jaw and forced us to land.
I nipped at his bottom lip, and he locked eyes with me.
There you are. Look me in the eye, sweet boy.
I kissed him teasingly and touched his cheek, feeling its warmth underneath my fingertips.
For a moment, I just brushed our lips together and fed off his exposure. The vulnerability in his gorgeous eyes. He squirmed and tried to get more, as if hurling himself off a cliff was much easier than rappelling down it.
“Easy,” I whispered.
He trembled against me, and his cheeks turned a darker shade.
Goddamn.
I deepened the next kiss, more than I’d initially planned, and I let go for a quick moment. He threw himself into things so quickly, and we kissed hungrily until his breaths came out faster and heavier.
I palmed his bottom in my hands, and he—
“Can I—hnnngh.” He sucked in a breath and put a hand on my chest. “Can I call you Daddy, please?”
Fuck, that was too soon.
“Only tonight,” he added in a rush. “To t-try it out?”
Oh. Like sampling food at the fucking grocery store?
Only to try it out.
That was crazy.
Wasn’t it?
I swallowed dryly.
We decided how much power a word or title should have, right? And even though I felt like we were already behind on actual talking, I’d wanted to hear someone call me that in a kink setting the past fifteen years.
Even so…I had limits. We had to get something out of the way first.
“Before we go there, we gotta be on the same page,” I said, inching back. I gripped his hips to stop him from moving. He was too tempting. “I don’t know the boundaries you and James set up, and I ain’t ready for a whole lot. I can’t spend the night or anything like that.”
The only man I’d ever slept next to was Nathan.
Besides, I had to be at his house before Mikey and Lily woke up.
Jordan scraped his teeth over his bottom lip and nodded once. “I get it. Um, we want, like, a play partner dynamic with you.”
So far, so good. “I like the sound of that. As long as it’s clear that it can’t be whenever. It’ll be easier because we live next to each other, but in a couple weeks’ time, my kids will move in. They’ll be here every other week.”
He knitted his brows. “Isn’t it stupid to get a divorce if you’re possibly snatching up a Little?”
Christ, he couldn’t go there. I already had the idea in my head, and it threatened to open up a can of worms. And by worms, I meant more heartbreak.
“Nathan doesn’t love me like that anymore.” The hurt slashed through me as I said it, but it had to be out there. I had to realize it and use it in an attempt to accept things.
Jordan scrunched his nose. “Are you sure? That’s not what my friends are saying.”
His friends?
What was he talking about?
“What friends?” I couldn’t help but be a little on edge. “Nate and I are private, so unless you can read minds, I don’t see how you’d know anything about what we feel toward each other.”
“I know what I know,” he huffed. “It’s like this, okay?
I heard from Corey, who heard from Kit, who heard from some girl, that both you and Nathan are depressed.
It’s simple math. Why would he be depressed if he wasn’t mourning your relationship?
It’s been over a year, hasn’t it? If he didn’t love you, he would’ve moved on by now. ”
What the fresh fuck. Did he know all the brats out at Mclean? And was this some girl Nora?
“He did move on,” I replied. “He’s dating someone.”
“Um, no, he’s not. I asked.” He placed a hand on his chest. “I talked to a guy in the bondage community, and he said Nathan had a short thing with someone last fall. He ended it, and the guy he was dating left the community. There’s a lot of gossip out there, you know.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, suddenly overwhelmed. Just how involved was Jordan in the online community? And was any of that true? The boy must’ve been asking around.
“Sir, your monster thing’s not hard anymore.”
Oh, for fuck—
I dropped my hand and stared at him. “No shit.”
He grinned innocently. “Oops? But in my defense, it’s important to me that you’re happy. And you never know—Nathan could be at home right now, crying because he misses you so much.”
Okay. All right. He had no interest in getting me hard again, that was for certain, although I wasn’t sure it was possible at this point, regardless.
“Jesus, kid, why would you throw that at me?”
“For a myriad of reasons, Sir. A myriad,” he said.
He wriggled his fingers to demonstrate that he was going to tick things off.
“For starters, you’re not happy without him.
Secondly, we want a happy play partner. Third, based on the stories James brings home after work, you and Nathan are not done.
Fourth, Nathan is ridiculously hot too. It’s possible I signed up for one of his bondage classes soon, but we’ll see if I have the guts to attend. ”
I blinked. He’d done what?
“Have you spoken to him?” I had to know.
“No,” he answered vehemently. “Full disclosure—I found your profile and, shortly after that, Nathan’s profile.
Completely separately, I’ve been getting to know some of the brats in the community, and so…
you know, when I started having questions about you and him, I asked Corey and Kit.
But I swear it wasn’t a whole list of questions,” he was quick to add.
“Maybe some? They weren’t super talkative either.
They only know me from some online bratting, so they were kinda vague.
I’m sure they assumed I’m just one in the long line of guys who have a crush on you or Nathan.
Did you know that someone started an entire group dedicated to Nathan’s ropework? ”
I nodded with a dip of my chin. I did know. Nate hated it. He didn’t want anyone to fawn over him, and he didn’t have much good to say about nitpicking bastards who thought they could do things better either.
Everyone was an expert on the internet.
“Do you want Nathan back, Sir?”
I suppressed a sigh and met his gaze. “More than anything.”
He smiled sympathetically. “And would you be opposed to possibly having a dynamic with James and me? With Nathan, I mean. If he’s interested.”
That was the big question, wasn’t it?
For years and years, the answer had been no. As evidence showed.
I hadn’t even been able to entertain the idea.
It was fucking embarrassing, to be honest. To be so scared shitless of a fictional scenario—and yet, now…
Now, the possibility might be real because I knew who the person—or people, rather—would be, and I didn’t sense the same threat anymore.
I knew the Hacketts. I knew they were solid and happily married.
They were good people. Good friends. Genuine.
To include Nathan felt farfetched, though.
“In a perfect world, sure, it could work,” I said carefully. “But I’ve asked him for a second chance enough times now that before I let him stomp on my heart again, I’ll do my own digging. I’m not relying on brat gossip to save my marriage.”
“That’s the spirit!” Jordan threw his arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. “You’re wrong about the quality of brat gossip, but yay!”
The little shit drew a chuckle from me, and I gave him a squeeze back automatically, but my focus had shifted. My head was fucked. This couldn’t be happening. A dream didn’t turn into a plan so swiftly. My fears came rushing back stronger than ever before, and it made me queasy.