Chapter 3 #5
James sat up straighter and did that thing where he tried to look like the talk wasn’t affecting him. He went for disgruntled, but I wasn’t buying it.
“Now, that’s an image…” Ash was clearly not against the idea. Or the fantasy of it, maybe? I wasn’t sure. “Is that somethin’ you’ll wanna explore, having multiple partners?”
I detected only curiosity in his voice and expression, so I looked to James. We’d had our fantasies over the years—some wilder than others.
“I think it’s too soon to say,” I replied thoughtfully.
James nodded once. “I’d like to focus on what we may or may not be developing already, and then the future will tell. We’ve discussed it in theory before—nothing concrete about limits whatsoever.”
Word.
“I could picture possibly having a longer leash out here,” I added. “Maybe. I don’t know. But like, perhaps exploring a little bit in a kinky setting, and then when we’re at home, it’s just us, and you—” I turned to Ash. “In short, another set of rules for what goes out here.”
Ash inclined his head. “We have all the time in the world to test the waters. As long as we put communication first, because you two getting involved with others will affect safety and protection boundaries.”
Of course. Yeah. I agreed. “If you’re my Daddy Dom, I wanna run all those things by you first.”
He smiled at that. “Music to my ears. I like your T-shirt, by the way. Not that you bein’ a brat needs advertisin’.”
I beamed.
“This will be a playground for you.” He finally dropped a kiss to my lips, just a quick one. “If I’d seen the possibilities as quickly as you did, my marriage wouldn’t be a technicality.”
I shook my head and touched his cheek. “It’s not a technicality now either, Sir.”
He caught my hand and kissed the inside. “I hope you’re right. If nothing else, at least he has to be nice to me tomorrow.”
For his birthday? Yeah, uh-huh. Without any help whatsoever from Ash—as in, no wish lists—James and I had prepared a gift for him. Hopefully, we’d find a day to have dinner together soon.
“It’s okay to aim higher, boss,” James pointed out. “Not that I didn’t enjoy the two hours you spent today on telling me what birthday gifts you and Nathan have given each other over the years.”
I slapped a hand over my mouth to hide my giggles, and Ash shot us both a look.
It would be so easy to tell him to step on it or push him to blurt things out to Nathan, but I couldn’t do that. I got it. I understood the fear. Maybe Ash was afraid to get rejected. Also, kids took up a lot of time, and it wasn’t one of those conversations you had in passing.
That said, I couldn’t imagine he had anything to worry about. Their separation held too much pining and zero “I want you out of my life.” For chrissakes, Mister Rigger was pressing love on a bunch of relationship-goal memes and quotes about longing and grief.
Ash would learn a lot if he spent more time on the site. Then maybe he could also freaking friend me!
He nodded at James. “You can go make yourself useful and get us some sodas at the bar.” He pulled out his wallet.
“It’s self-serve at this hour, so go behind it and grab the drinks from the fridge.
Sodas are a buck a piece.” He extended a five to James.
“You’ll find the money jar next to the register. ”
A soda would be nice! I was thirsty.
“I actually think I can afford that all on my own.” James smirked a little and got up.
“Well, excuse me for bein’ a gentleman.” Ash shook his head in amusement and pocketed his money again.
We watched James head inside before I glanced back at Ash.
“He’s so ready for you to make a move on him.”
He chuckled quietly. “Not as ready as I want him, but he’s getting there.”
In other words, as the Sadist that he was, he wanted my husband downright desperate.
Hot.
Ash refocused on me and draped an arm around my shoulders. “So, on a scale from one to ten, how was your first visit to Mclean House?”
I snickered. “A solid ten points. But it’s House Mclean.”
“So brats keep sayin’.” He dipped down and kissed my temple.
I wanted so much more. Hell, I was already desperate. The stars just had to align first, and we were only missing one.
“For the record,” I went on, “ten points doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard at first. I was so nervous that I’ve decided James needs to give me a batch of cookies and a Dachshund puppy.”
He found that way too funny for my liking!
“You think that’s a fair reward for visiting your next playground?”
“You don’t know how nervous I was, Sir!”
He rumbled a laugh and hugged me to him.
The sheer comfort he exuded in every hug was something else. He was so big and strong and warm and kind and funny.
“I missed you today.”
Oh my gosh. I inched back and peered up at him. “You did?”
He smiled and kissed me on the cheek. “Sure did. And all kidding aside, I’m proud of you for coming out here on your own. I know it wasn’t easy.”
It was insane how strongly I reacted to his words. The shift in my brain was instantaneous, and the Little in me that I’d tucked away temporarily skidded out on his socks and shouted hello. Tension left my shoulders, filters came tumbling down, and the world became a better place.
“I’m also proud of you for standing up for your friend,” he murmured. “And for trying to prevent the fight.” He slipped his hands down my arms and cupped my elbows. “Which one did you use?”
Use for what? Oh, for…
I lifted my right elbow more.
“This one?” He inspected it before dropping a kiss there. “We’ll have to keep an eye on it. Nobody’s allowed to give my boy bruises without my permission.”
I swallowed, unable to stop staring at him.
Slight problem. What if I developed deeper feelings for him?
“Ash?” That was James’s voice. I glanced back at him as Ash lowered my elbow and kept me close. “You might wanna haul ass.”
“What?”
James jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “I think I just saw Nathan.”
Oh my gosh.
“You did what?” Ash immediately rose to his feet. “Here? Now?”
“I was behind the bar, and he walked through the club area,” James elaborated. “I recognized him from your photos. He stopped short right here in the doorway and turned back.”
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he probably saw us, Daddy.” I rushed out the words and grasped his hand. “You have to go after him!”
I could see the stress in his face, but he was momentarily frozen. Stricken. So I squeezed his hand, and he flicked his gaze to me. But I wasn’t sure he was actually seeing me. His jaw ticked.
“Go to him,” I urged. “Get out of here. Get babysitters. Make sure you get him alone, and don’t let him escape. Tell him everything.”
He swallowed and nodded once.
“You got this, boss,” James said.
Ash blew out a breath and nodded again, this time with more determination.
He was done processing. He was doing this.
He was gonna get his husband back. He dipped down and pressed a firm kiss to my forehead, and then he walked over to James, kissed his cheek quick, and left without another word. A man on a mission.
A bajillion butterflies were unleashed in my stomach, and I couldn’t stop the shit-eating grin on my face.
It was finally happening!
James Hackett
“This is gonna work,” Jordan said confidently. “They’re gonna get back together.”
I smiled unsurely, hoping he was right. The boss definitely needed his hubby back, and it would be nice to see him happy.
I rejoined Jordan, and now we had three sodas.
Jordan grabbed the Sprite Zero. “How are your hands? I noticed you rubbing them earlier.”
“Eh. Just one of those days.” Nerve pain came with the job, literally. I didn’t know anyone at work who wasn’t suffering from varying degrees of it.
“You’re supposed to tell me, honey.” After taking a swig of his soda, he grasped one of my hands and started pressing the thumb along my palm.
I released a breath.
“I’ll give you the full treatment tonight,” he said. “A long soak, massage, and that cooling gel.”
I smiled at him.
I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve Jordan, but I was eternally grateful.
“Does Ash struggle with this too?” he asked. “I only see him crack his knuckles sometimes.”
“He says it used to be worse,” I replied. “He does exercises—”
“Imagine that,” he deadpanned. “You need to get better at doing those.”
Yeah, it was on my list. I just kept forgetting.
“Anyway,” he continued. “Um, do you remember when you told me that you weren’t worried about the emotional aspects, as long as my feelings for someone else didn’t diminish the feelings I had for you?”
I raised my brows. “Yeah?”
He swallowed and focused on my hand. “It’s possible I’m developing feelings for Ash.”
Oh, it was possible? Bless his sweet heart, I’d detected that weeks ago.
I’d once been scared shitless to lose him, because nobody understood me like he did, and I loved my life with him.
But exploring this new thing, this…this, whatever I could call it…
with Ash, possibly with Nathan—a man I didn’t know at all—and who knew…
It was…exciting, like the biggest adventure Jordan and I had been on so far, and I felt his devotion every step of the way.
“I stand by what I said,” I murmured, lifting his chin. “As long as you and I come first, I’m good. That’s all I want.” I saw the flash of relief in his eyes and kissed him quickly. “Just, word of advice? Don’t rush him.”
“Oh God, no,” he laughed. “I’m not even friends with him in the online forum. The last thing I’m gonna now do is confess I have feelings for him.”
I grinned, then wrinkled my nose a little in confusion. “Y’all’re not friends online?”
He shook his head. “Wait—are you?”
“Well, yeah.” I scratched the side of my head. “After you set up the account for me and told me his username, I thought that was your way of tellin’ me to go in there and send him a request.”
“Oh.” He pinched his lips together and scowled to himself. “I chickened out because I wasn’t sure if he wanted to showcase anything where Mister Rigger could see.”
Considering I’d just witnessed the man turn around in the doorway, presumably after seeing Ash and Jordan, that wasn’t a bad line of thinking. Even though being online buddies didn’t mean a damn thing. But sure, if I walked a mile in Nathan’s shoes and watched my ex befriend Littles online…
What a fucking mess.
“Fingers crossed this will be over soon,” I said. “Once he and Nathan are back together, I’m sure he’ll wanna parade you around.”
He snickersnorted and shoved playfully at my chest. Then he tilted his head, spotting something behind me, and it made me look over my shoulder.
A young woman appeared from the side of the building.
“Holy crap, makeup face alert,” Jordan mumbled.
My mouth twitched. If I had a nickel for every time he commented about someone having a “makeup face,” I’d be a rich man.
I liked to catch a football game here and there. My little husband studied bone structure and facial features as if people were his next canvas.
“Hi!” She walked closer. She was short and petite, and her hair was almost black. “Are you by any chance James and Jordan?”
She knew who we were?
“Yes…?” Jordan asked rather than stated.
The woman beamed. “It’s so nice to meet you! I’m Nora, part of the welcome wagon here at Mclean. As in, Ash asked if I wanted to come out and make you feel at home. Where is he?”
Jordan and I exchanged a look as the amusement trickled in.