Chapter 54
Chapter Fifty-Four
Easton
The minute our game gets rescheduled due to weather, I ask Callie if she can keep watching Tanner so I can meet Hadley at her friend’s grandma’s funeral. I’m sure her mom is at her side right now, lobbing one passive-aggressive insult after another.
I want to show Hadley that I can be present. Sure, my schedule sucks and she’s practically raising our kid on her own some weeks, but there are times the universe is on our side and we can be a normal couple. Attending a funeral together, hand in hand, my shoulder there for her to lean on.
Callie happily agrees, joking that Tanner loves his girlfriend, Ellis. I joke back that he would be the stud to nail an older girl.
In the Uber, I send Hadley a quick message.
Game delayed until tomorrow. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.
I’m thankful that last night we discussed the details of the funeral, so I know the exact funeral home where it’s happening.
The rain slows down traffic, pounding on the windshield and spraying up from the tires.
I didn’t expect an answer from Hadley since I’m sure she has her phone silenced, but what I thought would be twenty minutes takes forty minutes. I try to remind myself that any time is better than none.
The Uber stops outside the funeral home, and the parking lot is full, the street parking nonexistent. This woman must’ve really been loved.
I thank the driver, pay, and tip him on the app, then put my phone in the inside pocket of my suit and walk up to the doors.
A lot of people, most of them elderly, fill the lobby. Hadley isn’t there, nor her mom.
None of the elderly people even give me a second glance. They’re all sitting on couches and chairs, some on their walkers, too engrossed in their conversations to care about me. Thank goodness.
I go to the viewing room, and the casket sits at the front, one end open.
I scan the room for Hadley. Then I see her in a small circle in the back of the room with her mom, Sloane, and Whit. The entire Hargrove family has shown up. They’re all in black, all impeccably dressed with not one hair out of place.
Margot’s eyes lift, probably clocking everyone who walks into the room.
I don’t know her that well, but she seems like the kind of person who can find an opportunity even in a room full of grief.
It’s really shitty that I lack any love for my mother-in-law.
She touches Hadley’s hand and nods in my direction.
This is the entire reason I came. Her.
Hadley sees me and her lips tip in a smile, her tense shoulders relaxing.
God, I love that I give her that look.
I cross the room as she breaks apart from her family. She’s in my arms, and I’m kissing her temple immediately.
“You came?” she says, and I hold her tighter. “I heard something about a rain delay.”
“Yeah, someone’s looking out for us today.”
She holds me like she does when I return from an away series, as though she thought I’d never get back.
“How bad is it?”
She laughs in my neck. “So far, you and I need to have a celebration at the country club, and we should be looking into me adopting Tanner because why wouldn’t I want it all to be legal.” She draws back. “I’m already mentally exhausted.”
I push a strand of her hair behind her ear. I’ve never loved Mother Nature more than right now. “Do you think they’ll stay the entire time?”
“Thank goodness, they’re leaving soon. Just showing their faces.”
“Then it’s almost over.” I slip my hand in hers.
“Yes.” She looks around the room. “Here, let me introduce you to Honor.”
I try to follow her line of vision, but there are a lot of people here. Sure, most are gray-haired, so it’s not exactly a Where’s Waldo for the under-sixty crowd.
“Oh, she’s talking to someone. We’ll give it a minute or two.” She points out a woman with sandy-blonde hair talking to an older man. He has her hand in his, and he’s talking intently.
I remember my grandma’s funeral and how much I hated the way everyone thought they had to tell me something insightful. It sucked. We lost her, and no poem or advice would bring her back.
“Oh, here, let’s go now.”
The man kisses the woman’s cheek and walks away.
Hadley practically drags me across the room, clearly trying to get us in before someone else gets to Honor first. I remember that too. No break, just a constant stream of people. Lance, Brinley, and I hid out in the family room until one of our parents told us we had to go join everyone.
“Honor,” she whispers as we get closer, raising her hand, then pointing toward me.
Honor’s eyes widen. I’m sure Hadley’s told her about me on their coffee visits, so whether or not she was a fan before, who knows, but she clearly knows who I am now.
I’d kind of prefer if she weren’t a fan. It was one worry about coming here—I never want my presence to be a disturbance and take away from the reason everyone is here.
“This is Easton.” Hadley winds her arm through mine.
Honor scoffs. “I know.”
We all laugh, but sober quickly.
Hadley’s head tilts side to side. “Of course.”
I kind of like the way she seems proud to introduce me to her friend. As though she’s proud to call me her husband.
I hold my hand out, and Honor’s falls into mine.
“You’ve been the main topic of conversation for years.” She gives me a tight smile.
I shake her hand and catch a tattoo on the inside of her wrist. A bird of some kind.
I smile at her, then glance at Honor. “Sorry, she’s a bragger.”
“That she is,” Honor agrees, and a sour feeling rests in my stomach.
“Hey,” Hadley says with mock offense.
“I’m kidding. Most times I have to pull her stories out of her. She lives such an adventurous life. Much more exciting than mine.”
I release Honor’s hand, my eyes snagging on that tattoo again. It’s old enough that the ink has softened slightly at the edges. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”
Honor turns toward the casket. “Thank you.” Then someone else comes up to her. “Excuse me. Thank you for coming.”
Our entire interaction is normal. She seems friendly enough, but something nags at me.
Thankfully, the minister comes in, and the rest of the Hargroves quickly say their goodbyes. Hadley and I take our seats, her hand in mine.
My eyes keep snagging on Honor in the front row. Something about her is familiar.
I try to push it off and just be there for Hadley, who wants to be here for Honor but is teary-eyed as the ceremony goes on.
We get a ride with one of Honor’s grandma’s friends to the house for the reception. I’ve never in my life felt like I was in that much danger. At least if we did get into an accident, we’d only be going ten miles per hour.
Honor’s grandmother’s friends have taken over the kitchen, screened-in porch, and living area. The dining room table is covered in food that people are grazing over while talking about their ailments, grandkids, and what they can and cannot eat now. Dairy seems to be public enemy number one.
Hadley stands with Honor in the corner of the living room, their heads close together in conversation.
Honor’s shoulders are down in a way they weren’t at the service, as though she’s finally allowed to exhale.
I remember seeing that in my dad and aunts and uncles when my grandma passed too.
The guilt of the relief, which makes sense.
From what Hadley has said, Honor has put her life on hold for her grandma.
I get a plate and stand near the window.
When I see the hummingbird feeders scattered around the trees in the backyard, I finally connect the tattoo on Honor’s wrist. It’s a hummingbird.
I have no idea why I’m stuck on this, but something is tugging at me. But Honor didn’t act as though she’d met me before. That happens sometimes, someone says I met you here, and I don’t remember. Maybe she’s hoping I would notice first.
I watch Honor across the room again.
She’s laughing at something Hadley says. Her laugh lines crinkle at the corners of her eyes.
Something shifts in my chest.
I’ve been with a lot of women, and at this point in my life, I’m not proud of the amount. But I’m really hoping this feeling I’m having is for naught.
Hadley breaks apart from Honor, crossing the room, and I’m happy for the distraction.
“I’m just grabbing Honor a drink. Want anything?” She touches my hand but is about to walk away.
“Hey.” I grip her hand a little tighter. “Have I met Honor before? At a bar with you?”
She stops and thinks but shakes her head. “No. She’s had to spend most of her time here.”
Hadley glances around the house and I nod, remembering Hadley telling me how rarely Honor goes into the city.
I’m being paranoid. I shake my head.
Two older women settle into a pair of chairs near the window I’m standing by. We smile politely at one another, neither of them saying anything about who I am. Probably Trojans fans.
They talk about Honor’s grandma and the house for a bit, gossiping about the life she lived. How sad it was at the end. I’m about to walk away, not wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation, when the one wearing a yellow cardigan leans closer to the other one.
“Such a shame.” She thinks she’s whispering, but she’s not. “What will she do now?”
I assume they’re talking about Honor.
The one in jeans says, “My question is what happened to the baby?”
I freeze. I have no idea who they’re talking about or what baby specifically, but my stomach clenches painfully nonetheless.
“One day here, the next day gone.” Yellow Cardigan glances around. “No one realizes how much babies take over your life.”
“I know. I wonder where he ended up.”
“Faye said with someone who had the means, but money doesn’t mean love.”
The other woman nods. They let the subject drop and talk about how there are too many eggs in the potato salad.
I don’t move. I’m frozen in place, heart pounding so loud it sounds like a death march.
I stand at the window with my plate in hand and look at Honor across the room—at her blue eyes, at her sandy-colored hair, remembering the small hummingbird on the inside of her wrist—and the word that’s been on the tip of my tongue for the last hour finally arrives.
Cabo.
The week after Cabo. A club with Decker. Her finding me in the bathroom. Her fingers unbuttoning my pants. Her hand pulling out my cock. That hand with the hummingbird tattoo.
I gasp. “No.”
It comes out before I can stop it.
The two women look at me, and I feel heat crawl up the back of my neck.
“Sorry.” I shake my head. “Just thinking out loud.”
I step away and search the room for Hadley.
She’s smiling at something Honor is telling her, her hand on her friend’s arm, completely present and supportive and completely unaware of who her friend really is.
My gaze shifts to Honor.
She either senses me or is checking the room, but when our eyes meet, her smile fades. It’s almost as if she knows I’ve figured it out, and she’s confirming it with the way that she holds my gaze. But it’s over so quickly, I fear I’m seeing things.
But I know. It’s her. She’s Tanner’s mom.
I almost double over from the sick feeling in my stomach. My blood pressure spikes, and I can feel my heartbeat in my neck.
It’s all I can do to stay outwardly composed. To not ask Honor to talk in private. To not tell Hadley. As I stand there, the night with Honor unfolds in my mind. The dancing, the flirting, the way she was there every time I turned around.
The night keeps replaying in sharper detail with every miserable second of the day. At least ten times I almost tell Hadley I need to leave, but somehow, I gut it out. By the time she’s ready to go, most of the guests are gone and her grandma’s friends are packing up leftovers.
I wait by the door, watching Honor hug Hadley goodbye. They hold each other for a long moment, and Honor says something quietly into Hadley’s hair, and Hadley nods.
Honor’s eyes find me over Hadley’s shoulder.
I don’t look away.
Neither does she.
I give her a wave and step outside. It probably makes me look like an asshole, but I’m about a second away from throwing up in the bushes.
The street is quiet, the streetlights just starting to come on.
Hadley takes my hand as we walk down the front steps. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
I stop on the sidewalk and look at the house, wondering if Honor is peering out at us from behind some curtain.
Then I look at the woman who said I’m staying, who answered to Mama, who has been pouring herself into my son and my life and my friends. And I think of the destruction my confession is going to cause.
I want to save her from it, but I can’t, and it’s the most agonizing feeling I’ve ever had.
“I think I know who Tanner’s biological mom is.” My voice comes out thick and stilted.
She goes completely still, and I don’t want to say it. At this point, anyone would cause an upset, but this is an extra layer of torture.
“I think it’s Honor.”
A car passes.
Hadley stares at me, and I watch her process the information.
“No.” She shakes her head and steps back.
I nod, swallowing hard.
“Why?” she says finally.
So I tell her.
The familiar face I couldn’t place. The handshake. The hummingbird tattoo I’d seen before and finally placed. The night at the club when I got back from Cabo.
And then the two old women by the window and their conversation.
I watch the pain settle into Hadley’s eyes as the information sinks in.
“You’re sure?” She glances over her shoulder to the house.
I close my eyes briefly, then nod. “I’m positive.”
She turns back to me, and my heart breaks seeing the devastation lining her beautiful face.
I’ve never hated the man I used to be more.