Chapter 4
JOEY
I’m in the middle of composing an angry email to my ex-wife when Savannah appears at my bedside, hair adorably rumpled and smiling, showing the gap between her two front teeth.
Danica deserves many angry emails, but my therapist always says to stay the sanest person in the room in regard to my ex-wife, so I do what I always do and delete the draft.
Somehow that always helps just a little.
Plus, Lee would be very proud that I deleted it.
I smile and let out a breath, feeling my shoulders inch away from my ears just in time for morning cuddles with my kid.
“Morning, sweetheart,” I say and hold my arms out wide so she can crawl into bed with me.
Savannah grins widely and jumps into the bed with a giggle.
She still smells like the lavender bubble bath from the night prior.
She also smells a little like Froot Loops, which means she’s already snuck into the kitchen for breakfast before coming to me for a morning cuddle.
At least this weekend is mine on the schedule.
“What do you wanna do today?”
“I wanna go to Unc-Lee’s farm,” Savannah says diplomatically, as if it’ll come true no matter what.
“He might be busy today.”
“He’s not.”
“Oh? How do you know?”
“One time he told me he’s always waiting for us.”
Something in my heart cracks at her words, my heart tumbling around inside me like it’s lost all semblance of control.
I squeeze her a little tighter until she giggles and wiggles out of my grip.
She disappears out of my bedroom, all blonde curly hair and laughter that drags me out of my bed.
I tug on an old Clay Farms T-shirt, then pad into the living room to track her down.
We spend the morning completing our normal Saturday morning errands, like straightening the house up, getting groceries, then starting a load of laundry that I’ll no doubt forget about and need to finish on Sunday.
It’s a beautiful early April day when we hit the road toward Lee’s farm.
I hope Lee’s up for a visit, because truthfully, I miss him.
Something’s been going on with Lee for the past few months, maybe even years.
I miss my best friend. I miss Lee. I miss Sunday night dinners and story time with Savannah where Lee does different voices for each character.
I miss making his favorite food just to see him smile because he didn’t have home-cooked meals from anyone besides Cindy until my family came along.
I miss his deep laugh that shakes his whole body when I really get him going.
I miss the small gap between his teeth that I see every time I look at Savannah.
Sometimes I wonder if she’s more his kid than mine, if that was possible.
The early afternoon sunshine shines right down on Lee’s farm. His truck is in the driveway and the goats are bleating loudly from the backyard when I finally hustle Savannah out of her booster seat.
“Unc-Lee!” Savannah screams while taking off around the side of his house.
I hear a high-pitched giggle and I know he’s picked her up, swinging her around like a princess and he’s the knight who’s once again saved her life.
Hiking the grocery bag full of ingredients for a decent dinner over my shoulder, I head around the corner of his house.
My heart does that weird thing again, that hard thump-thump that it only does when I see Lee and Savannah being particularly precious.
When Lee glances over at me, it’s like the clouds part and the sun shines a little brighter. Jesus. Has he always been so beautiful?
Wait a goddamn minute.
“What makes me so special to get a visit on this gorgeous Saturday in April?” Lee asks, the apples of his cheeks full from his grin under his beard.
“We want to feed you,” Savannah says proudly, furiously nodding her head. She takes both hands and presses her palms tight to Lee’s cheeks. “The full moon is soon.”
“Ah yes, I must be able to outrun them.”
“No,” Savannah argues, kicking her feet out so she can be eye level with Lee. “You will become one with us soon.”
“Right,” Lee says like he always does when she starts to mention becoming one of us. “Let’s go let Aragorn and Falcor have their moment with you before they break down the shed.”
“Aragorn will bump me.”
“No, he won’t,” Lee denies a little too emphatically for my taste. “I had a long talk with him and he learned his lesson after last time. He’s very sorry. He loves you.”
Hmm. Savannah seems to take that explanation in stride, because she just smiles up at Lee.
“Okay, Unc-Lee.”
I watch them skip off hand in hand toward the goat pen, then head inside to put the dinner ingredients away.
Lee’s house is a little stuffy because he always keeps the blinds shut.
I open them up in the living room and dining room to let some light in, itching to tear down the old wallpaper that was his grandmother’s and slap some paint on the walls.
His grandpa’s recliner still sits in the corner, but the television is new and modern, and he remodeled the kitchen a few years ago, making it the most modern part of his entire house.
I wonder sometimes if he did it for me, since it’s got a gas stove and some other chef-like amenities that I know he doesn’t require.
His fridge contains exactly one six-pack of amber beer, a few containers of blueberries, since they’re in season at the farm, and some to-go salads that I’m not sure he seriously intended to eat.
At least there’s cheese and a loaf of bread on the counter, so I know he’s been having a grilled cheese before he crawls into bed.
I head out onto Lee’s back deck to watch Savannah playing with the goats. Aragorn is being much gentler than the last time with the accidentally too-hard head butt. Her giggles float through the air like wind chimes. I don’t know if Lee or I smile harder at the sound of her laughter.
It feels like forever before Savannah is a little worn out. Lee ushers the goats back into their pen, then heads toward the house hand in hand with Savannah, who is now covered in a light sheen of dirt.
“Aragorn was much kinder this time, Daddy,” Savannah says proudly. She wraps her arms around my legs and squeezes hard. “I wish we could live here with them.”
“Out in the pen is no place for little werewolf princesses,” Lee says quickly to clearly avoid a small meltdown.
Savannah pouts but nods in understanding.
We head back inside and I let my gaze sweep over Lee’s broad, rounded shoulders.
He needs a haircut. He hates when it gets long enough to touch the neck of his work shirts when it’s hot out.
Lee also hates going to the barbershop because it’s all men feeding into the gossip mill, so usually every few weeks I give him a nice little trim with the clippers on the back deck.
“Time for a haircut?” I ask while pulling the ingredients back out of the fridge. Lee is quiet, so I glance over at him to find his jaw tight and eyes firmly set on the backyard. “Lee?”
“There’s this new barbershop in Orlando. I was thinking of driving in for the day and giving it a shot.”
“Oh,” I say, disappointed. I love giving Lee his haircuts. “That’s okay. Want me to come with? We can go on a weekend Savannah is with Danica.”
Lee shakes his head hard. “Nah, it’s okay.”
I want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, make him tell me what’s going on.
I’m so close to cornering Beau about it, but that won’t do much.
Beau will always be Lee’s secret keeper, no matter how long we’ve been best friends.
Instead of doing anything, I just put the chocolate chip cookies I grabbed from my freezer into Lee’s oven.
Savannah wanders into the kitchen after washing her hands, takes a seat at Lee’s dining table, and stares at me in expectation of dinner.
I chuckle and get to work while Lee joins her at the table.
They murmur softly to themselves, giggling a few times, as I cook the sun-dried tomato penne pasta that they both love.
I pull the cookies out of the oven once the timer goes off.
“Cookies, Daddy?” Savannah calls out.
“Maybe, but only if Unc-Lee has ice cream in his freezer.”
“It’s rocky road,” Lee says, a hint of worry in his voice.
“What is that?” Savannah asks.
I pour the sauce into the large pan with the boiled pasta, stirring it around until it’s all melty yummy goodness. “Chocolate ice cream with marshmallow.”
“What kind of cookies?” she questions further, as if weighing her options.
Lee chuckles. The sound makes my stomach tighten. “Any sort of cookies go with any sort of ice cream if you’re a real dessert fan.”
“That’s true,” Savannah says. I glance over my shoulder to see her perk up. “Cookie flavor doesn’t matter.”
I plate three bowls of pasta, carrying two in one arm and one in the other, placing a bowl in front of each seat at the table.
Lee stands, pats my bicep, then heads into the kitchen to get drinks.
He opens the cabinet next to the fridge to grab one of Savannah’s favorite cups with tigers and giraffes on it, filling it with the unopened apple juice he had on the counter.
I watch as he adds the apple juice to the fridge before grabbing us each one of the amber beers.
“Here ya go, princess,” Lee says as he sets the apple juice in front of Savannah.
“Thank you!”
We settle in to eat and I’m struck with that feeling that I often have.
Like maybe the three of us should always be together.
Roommates at our age feels a little weird though.
I worry about jacking Lee’s style. We don’t talk much about romantic partners or anything like that because Lee is so private, but I hope he has someone, even if it fills me with this indescribable urge to protect him.
Lee is so gentle and everything about him is so big, yet I worry about him being hurt. He’s been hurt enough in life.
“Dessert now, Unc-Lee?”
Lee ruffles Savannah’s curls with a sad-looking smile. “If Daddy says so.”