Chapter 4 #2
“Daddy says so,” I say as I head into the kitchen.
The cookies are still warm when I crumble them into a bowl for each of us, adding a scoop of rocky road.
I return to the table with the bowls and spoons, nearly unable to hold back a grin when Savannah does a little wiggle in her seat. “Here you go.”
“Today is the best day ever,” Savannah announces just before digging into the dessert.
Lee sends me a little wink before digging into his as well.
We eat our dessert in silence, and I can tell Savannah is starting to get tired just by counting the number of times she rubs her eyes while eating her dessert.
Once she’s done, I settle her on the couch in front of Lee’s television, putting on her favorite episode of Bluey that he has favorited on a streaming service.
She curls up on the couch with her favorite knitted blue blanket, eyes blinking slowly.
Savannah’s always been an amazing sleeper and she hasn’t outgrown her naps yet, but today she missed hers, so the crash is coming soon.
Lee is washing the dishes, so I join him at the counter, doing the tried-and-true routine we’ve built after so many years, whether it’s my house or his.
He washes, and I load them into the dishwasher to the left of the sink.
Lee’s eyes are on the backyard, a furrow in his brow, thoughtful upturn to his lips.
I wait him out, knowing that whatever he wants to say will come with time.
“I wanna get a rabbit,” Lee finally says.
“Oh, that’s a great idea. For the goats?”
“For Savannah.”
“Oh.”
Lee turns to me, and the light hits him just right, making my stomach do that weird clench again. I should probably see a doctor. But how do I explain to a doctor that my stomach only twists and turns when I’m in close proximity to my best friend?
“The rabbit would stay here. I’ll build it a pen, near the goats, and Savannah can name it.
I was thinking a little after Easter, because sometimes you can get a bunny as a rescue when someone got one for the holiday but didn’t realize how much work rabbits can be.
” Lee finishes his little speech, then bows his head. “It’s okay if you don’t like the idea.”
I cup his neck in my palm, rubbing my thumb over the pounding of his pulse.
He tilts his head until his bearded cheek rubs against my wrist, every nerve ending in my wrist lighting up at the slight touch.
I want to swoop my hand back into the too long hair at the nape of his neck and tug him close until his head is tucked against my shoulder.
I want to keep him happy and smiling always, no more sad smiles on his beautiful face.
“Savannah would love a rabbit. Thank you, Drew.”
Lee breathes deeply and squeezes his eyes shut so hard that it looks like he’s being tortured, not lovingly touched by his best friend. His cheeks flush maroon and he pulls away abruptly, putting enough space between us to make me feel a little sick from the distance.
Lee clears his throat awkwardly. “Okay. I’ll let you know when it’s all ready so that you can bring her over. All right?”
“Okay.”
“She’s probably sound asleep by now,” Lee says carefully, eyes shuddered again.
“I’ll carry her out. We’ve done this before.”
Lee looks out the back window, face angled away from me. “Yeah.”
“Drew, what the hell is going on?”
“Nothing, I—” Lee stops himself again, as if he’s holding something back. “Have you emailed Danica yet?”
The subject change is so abrupt that it takes me a moment to reorient myself with the conversation. “No, not yet. I was thinking of saying something at drop-off.”
“No, say it in writing.”
He’s right. We’ve learned this the hard way in the past. “Okay. You’re right. I’ll send something tomorrow.”
“When does Benji start at the food truck? It sounds like he and Nolan will be here for the foreseeable future, if what Beau says is anything to go by.”
“He’s starting on Tuesday to prepare for the spring rush. Now that blueberry season is over, I’ve got a few weeks before I need to roll out the summer menu.”
“And the restaurant?”
I can’t hold back my excited smile. “It broke ground last week. Beau’s got a good contractor. I’m really hopeful it’ll be ready to go before the end of the summer.”
“Crazy,” Lee says in clear astonishment. “You’ll be busy. What will you do about Savannah?”
“Well, first grade is a big difference from kindergarten. I might put her in an aftercare program, like gymnastics or karate.”
“Karate,” Lee says with a hint of disbelief. “She’d be happier in gymnastics. She’s too gentle.”
He’s right. He’s always right about Savi. “Probably.”
We finish up the dishes, then I head into the living room to scoop Savannah up in my arms. She blinks awake just long enough for Lee to brush the hair from her forehead and give her a gentle kiss with his slightly chapped lips.
A cool breeze washes over us when we step outside, carrying the scent of the farm with it: dirt, grass, and goats.
It shouldn’t be such a calming scent, but it is, because it means I’m close to Lee, if only for a little while.
The waning moon glows bright overhead while I buckle Savannah into her booster seat.
Lee stands off to the side, waiting for me when I gently close her door to not wake her further.
“Well, I’ll see ya at the farm,” Lee says with his hands tucked into his jeans, his eyes tired.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Lee blinks slowly. “Yeah, duh.”
“Are you eating?”
Lee’s eyes narrow. “Yes.”
“Just, I know when you’re stressed you eat a little less. So if you need to talk or want me to cook you something—”
“I’m fine,” Lee says with enough finality to slam my jaw firmly shut.
“All right.” I head toward my door but pause and look over at him before climbing in. “I love you. True blue.”
Lee flushes at the apples of his cheeks from the words, which is why I always say them. He needs to know he’s loved, no matter what happens.
“I love you too,” Lee says, but it sounds less like a declaration and more like a burden.
My heart aches the entire drive home.
I sent an email to Danica about moving her boyfriend into the house without telling me.
Her response was the laughing emoji. I don’t know what to do with that, but it is what it is at this point.
I drop Savannah off at school, then head straight to the farm.
The parking lot is full of the usual cars, but Colby’s old jeep is also in the lot.
That means either Colby is at the farm or that’s the car Benji is borrowing until he gets his own here.
I like Trevor’s friends well enough because I like Trevor for Beau, and as long as Beau likes them, then they’re good people. It’s just that simple.
Benji is waiting by the silver domed food truck. He’s wearing faded blue jeans, beat-up athletic shoes, and an almost too tight T-shirt. His head is bowed as he types on his cell phone while leaning against the truck.
“Yo,” I call out to get his attention.
Benji straightens up and shoves his phone into his pocket. His smile is borderline obscene in its intensity. “Hey! I’m so excited. Thank you so much for agreeing to train me.”
We shake hands and Benji’s grip is almost a little too firm, probably from nerves.
His eyes are almost too light blue, his lips a sweet Cupid’s bow, and his floppy dirty-blond hair is pushed back with a sweatband.
It is literally almost incomprehensible that this is the man who’s dating Nolan Hastings, the rockstar who’s currently hiding away at Colby’s farm.
“Don’t chop your finger off in my kitchen and we’re square.”
Benji snorts. “I think I can do that. I like having all ten fingers and toes.”
“Well, you shouldn’t lose a toe in the kitchen if you’re doing everything right.”
Benji shoots me a look before chuckling. “You’re right.” Benji looks a little sheepish now, glancing away, then quickly back. “Beau mentioned you can help get me into culinary school.”