Chapter 6
JOEY
Lee
I got a rabbit
It’s late on a Friday night when I get Lee’s text.
I’m home since it’s Easter weekend, which means the farm is shut down; we always close down for the holiday weekend.
We even get Friday off, which is glorious.
I’d spent the day cleaning the house and prepping for the weekend without Savannah.
Her mother and I haven’t spoken since I sent the email about her moving her boyfriend into her apartment without disclosing it to me.
The best thing is that due to Danica’s demanding job, she’s not home enough to have Savannah more than a few weekends a month.
It still riles me up, though, to lose control over something so integral to Savannah’s safety and comfort. I don’t even know the dude.
At least I have the weekend off to stew about it in peace.
Although maybe not anymore after Lee’s text.
Instead of texting back, I call him. I haven’t seen him since the movie last week because he’s been dodging me at the farm. I’ve been busy with Benji and confirming the plans for the restaurant that’s taking shape already.
“Yellow,” Lee says with a smile in his voice.
“I wanna see the rabbit.”
“It’s seven o’clock at night.”
“So, I don’t have Savi. Can I come over and see the rabbit?”
“Will you bring dessert?”
I smile and bite my lip, comforted by our normal teasing. “I have leftover blueberry cheesecake I made for Savi during the week.”
“Be here in fifteen minutes. Whipped cream too.”
Then Lee hangs up. I shove off the couch, take a quick shower, and get dressed in sweatpants and an old T-shirt that’s seen much better days.
I grab the cheesecake container, whipped cream, and a six-pack of the local beer that I know Lee secretly loves.
I hop in the car and make the drive in twelve minutes, windows down and country blasting on the radio.
The warm spring air whips through my hair, carrying me to Lee.
The sight of his farm settles me more than I can ever explain.
Lee pops around the corner with his overalls on, no shirt, one of the hooks undone so that the front of the overalls hangs onto his stomach.
For the first time in my life, I’m struck with the force of seeing him.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what Benji said, especially since that moment in the orange groves where I seriously wondered what it would be like to kiss Andrew Bradley. Again. But for real this time.
The way he’s looking at me now—soft eyes, wide grin, a flush on his cheeks—makes me wonder what he would do if I did kiss him.
Would it ruin our friendship? Would he hate me?
Or would he pull me in closer? I’ve been surrounded by queer men the majority of my life and I’ve never found another man attractive.
Well, maybe I’ve always found Lee a little attractive.
His soul is so goddamn beautiful, his crooked grin, the way his eyes sparkle when he sees me.
The way he’s always held Savannah like she’s his own flesh and blood.
Oh my god.
Suddenly, I feel the urge to turn around and hightail it out of here.
Because I’m not sure this is just me being attracted to my best friend.
I think maybe I’m in love with him, and maybe I always have been.
“Rabbit?” I croak, because all other words have fled me.
Lee tilts his head. “You okay?”
“Yes. Rabbit?”
Lee just starts laughing and shakes his head before turning around to head back toward the new building he built beside the goats.
It’s smaller than the house for the goats, and different inside too.
It’s definitely more of a rabbit hotel than a rabbit cage.
Inside there’s a dark gray rabbit that’s hopping around and twitching its whiskers.
“Name?”
“Are we cavemen today? Should I point and grunt?”
That loosens all the tension inside of me. I smile toward Lee before stepping close enough to the rabbit hotel to dip down and stick my fingers through the netting. The rabbit promptly ignores me, which says everything.
“I think Savannah should name him. But he’s a rescue. A family got a baby rabbit for their daughter, and this one and the new one didn’t get along. They decided to keep the baby.”
“That’s awful.”
Lee shrugs. “Worked out for us.”
“Savannah will love him.”
“Surely.” Lee knocks his knee against my shoulder. “You promised dessert.”
“Right.” I stand abruptly, quick enough that we almost fall into each other. Lee looks down at me in confusion, smelling like freshly mown grass and lemonade. Like every good memory I’ve ever had. “Let me grab it.”
I can feel Lee’s eyes on me as I run toward the car.
I take a few minutes to breathe slowly before grabbing the bag of dessert and six-pack of beer.
Lee’s standing on the porch, eyes on the tree line at the back of his property.
He looks thoughtful when I walk up beside him.
He takes a beer from my outstretched hand and uses the railing to pop the top off, which is sexier than it should be.
Jesus. Have I always had these thoughts?
I think I did and just didn’t know what they meant, but now I can’t stop them since I’ve set them free.
But I can’t hurt Lee. The idea of hurting him makes me want to gouge my eyes out.
We sip our beers side by side as the heat bugs start to sing. I let my eyes fall closed at the perfection of the moment, only wishing Savannah was here to let her laugh loose, to make Lee’s perfect unbidden grin grow wide over his plush lips. I am sooooo beyond fucked.
“You’re being weird,” Lee points out before taking a sip of his beer.
I watch his throat bob on the swallow, watch him lick his lips to catch the stray drops that lingered on his lips.
Would he do that after I kiss him? Oh god, now I’m getting hot under the collar.
I feel like I’m back in high school lusting after a girl.
But now I’m lusting after my best friend.
I want to kiss Lee. I want to kiss him and hold him.
I want him in my bed, and I want him there when I wake up.
Chill the fuck out, Joseph. If I move too fast, it’ll scare Lee off. That’s not good for anyone.
“Weird day,” I say simply.
Lee huffs and grabs the bag from me, meandering over toward the table on his deck.
I take three large gulps of my beer before going over to join him.
The metal table creaks under us because it’s so old and rusted.
He needs a new table. He needs new everything, but he’s cheap as fuck.
Lee pulls out the container of cheesecake, whipped cream, and two spoons I hastily shoved in the bag.
With a grin that makes my stomach tighten and hurt, he tears the lids off, adds two heaping dollops of whipped cream, then holds a spoon out to me.
I take it without a word and watch as he digs in, closing his eyes blissfully at the first bite.
“Good shit,” Lee says around a mouthful of cheesecake.
“Yeah.” I shove a spoonful of cheesecake into my mouth to stop myself from saying something stupid like can I kiss you to see what you taste like?
Lee looks at me like I’ve grown a third head but just shrugs and continues to eat with a blissed-out look on his face.
I’ve always liked feeding Lee because he went years only knowing love through food from Beau’s parents.
They’d cook him a warm meal, then send him home to his tormentor.
But there’s something different about cooking for Lee knowing he’s going to safely sleep in his bed at the end of the night.
It’s even better when he eats at my home, with Savannah curled up in her bed, and he’s too sleepy and full to go anywhere besides my guest room.
Sometimes in the middle of the night, I’ll wander out to the kitchen for a glass of water only to catch myself standing and watching Lee sleep from the doorway of the room that belongs to him in my head.
Unbeknownst to Lee, he almost always has a little smile on his lips in his sleep.
I just feel stupider and stupider as this evening continues to progress.
We finish the cheesecake in silence, then settle back into our chairs to listen to the heat bugs come out in full. I can’t help but watch Lee out of the corner of my eye as he slowly sips his beer.
“Do you think it makes me weird to want to visit my dad?” Lee asks, voice quiet, maybe even a little embarrassed.
“Not weird,” I reassure quickly. “I can’t understand it, and most people won’t, but it’s your life. Your decision. I don’t like the idea of you… torturing yourself, I guess. That’s how it feels.”
“Yeah.” Lee slumps down farther in his chair, tilting his head back to stare up at the darkening sky. The pinks and purples are disappearing, slowly giving way to midnight blue. The stars shine bright above because we live far enough away from Orlando to make the night sky glow. “I hate him.”
“Yeah, same.”
Lee snorts and his lips tilt up, making me want to puff my chest out.
“I’m very aware everyone hates him too. Cindy would smother him in his sleep if she could.
But I guess…” Lee pauses and tilts his head toward me, and I imagine I can see starlight reflect perfectly in his denim-blue eyes.
“Maybe if he forgets himself, he’ll forget how angry he is. Maybe he’ll love me now.”
“Oh, Drew.”