Chapter 8
JOEY
Lee tastes so good, it scrambles my brain.
Even covered in cum and sweat, this is the sexiest experience of my entire life.
Everything about Lee turns me on. The small noises he makes as I kiss him—noises I don’t think he’s even aware he’s making.
Even the slight fur that covers his entire body.
The softness of his rounded stomach, the strength of his thighs as they squeezed around me when he came.
I never thought the feel of beard against my cheek as I kissed a man could make me crazy with lust. But my god, everything about Lee could make me burn hot enough to dissolve the world.
My heart aches with the years we’ve lost.
Our kiss slows to something softer, not rushed by the need to orgasm.
But this kiss says something sweeter, something about the warmth of the future before us.
Lee keeps running his hand gently up and down my spine, either to comfort himself or me, I’m not really sure.
All I know is that I never want him to stop touching me. Ever.
I cup his face with my hand as I spin us to our sides, the drying cum between us making me grimace. “I could kiss you forever.”
Lee just hums and leans forward to kiss me again, no tongue, just a gentle press of lips. God, it’s never been like this when I’ve kissed someone. Although I could kiss him forever, there’s so many things I want to talk about. Things we have to settle.
“Come on, let’s shower, then we can talk.”
Lee looks frightened for a moment, and I can’t have that. So I kiss him slowly again, feeling like a fucking king when his muscles unclench. He sighs against my mouth as I pull away, his eyes closed, a small smile on his plush lips.
“Come on, baby.”
Lee follows me in a daze to the bathroom, seemingly happy to let me manhandle him into the tight confines of the shower stall.
I turn the water on and grit my teeth at the cold water.
Probably should’ve let it warm up first. But the water turns warm quickly, and I grab Lee’s bodywash.
I squeeze some into the loofah, then rub it over his body, biting back a grin when he sways and rests his head on my shoulder.
My cuddly big bear. I finish washing his body, even soaping and rinsing off his soft, heavy cock.
He’s always been a shower, not a grower, and I appreciate the weight of him.
He grows hard under my exploring hand, grunting into my shoulder, so I stop teasing him and push him away slightly so I can wash myself.
He watches me as if in a daze, eyes glazed over as I swipe the rough loofah over my body.
Finally, both of us are rinsed off, so I turn off the shower and grab the still damp towel hanging outside the shower stall.
I dry Lee off first because he looks sleepy and wrung out.
The dark smudges under his eyes worry me enough to have me dreaming up beach trips to take some of the weight off his shoulders.
After I quickly dry myself off, I guide Lee back into the bedroom and sit him down on the edge of the bed. His stare is like I’ve never seen it. His bright blue eyes look shocked, but relieved at the same time. Something I never knew was possible.
I head to his nightstand, where I know he keeps his socks, but what I find there is more curious than socks.
It’s a half-full bottle of the cologne I’ve worn for years.
Tom Ford, the kind my sister got me on one of her work trips.
I pull it out and turn toward him, watching as his eyes grow wide with fear.
“Is this my cologne?” I ask softly as I place a spray on my chest.
Lee stares for a beat, then turns his head so I can’t see his face.
I can see the red blooming at the edge of his cheek though.
He’s embarrassed; I’ve embarrassed him. Clutching the cologne in my palm, I move over to kneel in front of him, lifting my empty hand up to cup his chin so I can tip his face toward me.
“Andrew,” I say firmly.
“I spray it on my pillow, okay?”
My heart shatters. “You spray my cologne on your pillow?”
Lee squeezes his eyes shut tight. “Yes, it helps me sleep. It’s just… We don’t have to talk about it, okay? We can just ignore it.”
“No, we can’t.” I drop my hand from his chin and twist the lid off the cologne.
His eyes follow me as I lift the bottle and squeeze one spray onto his chest before tossing the bottle onto the messy-as-hell bed.
“You’ll smell like me now. Like orange-scented bodywash and Tom Ford cologne.
A little like you and a little like me, okay? ”
“You don’t think it’s weird?” Lee asks in a hushed voice.
I press my hands beside his thighs, lifting so I can sweep my mouth over the soft swell of his lips.
He sighs again, like he seems to always do, and lets me have my way with his lush mouth.
I kiss him until the world reorients around us, until we’re two center points in this massive lonely universe.
“It’s not weird,” I whisper against his mouth. “It’s lovely and sexy and sweet. I want your entire bed to smell like me.”
“Joey,” Lee says, sounding a little hesitant and overwhelmed.
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
I stand up and go to his dresser, finding underwear, an old shirt, and gym shorts. I drag the underwear up his thighs, and the gym shorts too. I dress myself in a pair that’s a little too large for me, but they smell like Lee, so I don’t care about the size.
Once I’ve pulled the shirt over his head, I hurriedly tug a shirt over my own head, then twine our fingers together and pull him out to the living room.
The storm is softer now, the rain a gentle patter against the roof.
It’s still dark out through the blinds, but the birds are chirping again, and I wonder how the goats and bunny are faring outside.
Probably just fine since Lee is so purposeful with their homes.
I gently push Lee down onto the sofa, pausing for a moment to run my fingers through his messy, wet hair, then head into the kitchen to make us both some tea.
I fill the electric kettle with water, letting it start to boil as I putter around for Lee’s favorite mug, and one for me, along with the peppermint tea I know he keeps hidden in the spice shelf beside the fridge.
I know his house as well as my own, because at this point, wherever Lee lives is also my home.
Through the kitchen window, I can see the gentle fall of rain and the wind softly blowing through the oak trees in Lee’s backyard.
My heart just sort of settles into place with this all-encompassing knowing that I’ve never felt once in my life.
A rightness that this exact moment was always supposed to happen, and that we were always supposed to end up here, together.
But I’ve got to show that to Lee. My life’s purpose is now not just to be a father to Savannah, but also a partner to Lee.
Everything else is just trappings in life beside those two titles.
I pour the steaming hot water into the mugs and plop a tea bag into each.
When I return to the living room, Lee is leaning back on the sofa, his eyes squinted in exhaustion.
But they pop back open at the sight of me, and warmth flushes through my body at the love so very evident in his gaze.
How did I go twenty years missing that exact look?
“Thank you,” Lee says gratefully, mouth tipped up at the corners.
I want to kiss him again, but I refrain. We need to talk first.
“You’re welcome.” I set my mug down on the coffee table, sitting close enough to Lee that our shoulders and thighs brush. He cups the mug between his hands, his thumb worrying at the slightly chipped corner of the ancient mug, and blows on the tea. “Are you okay?” I ask.
Lee hums, eyes falling closed. “I am now.”
“I don’t have to stay away from you anymore, right? I can touch you like I always have?”
Lee’s smile grows. “If you meant your love letter, yeah.”
“Of course I meant that damn letter, Lee. Jesus. I’m in love with you.”
Lee puts his tea on the coffee table, then sits back onto the couch, reaching over to tangle our fingers. His hands are so much bigger than mine, but also so much gentler. How a man his size can be so soft and yielding will always sort of rock my world.
“I hate talking about how I feel,” Lee says, eyes downcast and skittish. “You know this.”
“I’m very aware. But it’s me.”
“I know. I, ah, I still can’t really believe this is real. A part of me thinks maybe I died earlier and this is, like, my version of heaven.”
I snort because that’s typical Lee. “Then we both died and went to heaven. But I’d like to think if that happened, Savannah would be in our heaven too.”
Lee’s eyes twinkle and he smiles under his bushy beard. “You’re right. She’d definitely be in our heaven. I just… I’ve loved you for so long, I’m not so sure what to do with your love. This is going to take a lot of getting used to.”
“I want to date you.”
Lee blinks. “Well, I figured.”
I shake my head because he’s not getting it.
“No. I mean I want to, like, take you out on fucking dates. I want to take you to basketball games downtown. I want to take you out to a movie on Friday night. I want to sit at the river bar and drink a beer with you, in silence or to talk about our week. I want to sleep over here, with Savannah in her bed, and I want her to know that this is real.”
“You want to tell Savannah? I mean—” Lee coughs roughly, then awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “What if you change your mind and it doesn’t work out? We would break her little heart.”
I lean forward and tenderly cup his face in my palms. “Lee. I’m not changing my mind. I’m not going anywhere. This is fucking it. What if you change your mind?”
“Obviously that’s not happening,” Lee mumbles as if it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.
“All right, then. We can wait a few weeks if you want. But I want to take you out on some dates, seriously.”
Lee’s cheeks turn ruddy and his eyes skirt away. “I’ve never been on a date.”