Chapter 8 #2
“Never?” There’s no way that’s true.
Lee shrugs. “Never had much time. And it felt wrong to even try, considering I could never love them as much as I love you.”
Oh. I pull Lee toward me until I can slide my mouth against his in another too-tender kiss.
My heart has never felt so off-beat. But when his hands tangle in the back of my shirt, urging me closer until he tips back onto the couch with me over him, everything slots effortlessly into place.
All these years it’s been Lee that I was waiting for without even realizing it.
I’ve kissed a lot of people in my life, but no kiss even slightly compares to the press of Lee’s chapped lips against mine.
“Can I stay tonight?” I whisper against Lee’s addictive mouth.
“I’ve never told you no to that question before. Why would I start now?” Lee slides his hands up my back again, but this time under my shirt, and I can’t hold back my shiver from his touch. He sighs happily and tilts his head back, looking at me under hooded eyes. “I still feel like I’m dreaming.”
“I’ll be here when you wake up, then.”
“You’re kind of a romantic,” Lee says curiously, and I have to hold back from puffing out my chest. I’m going to romance the shit out of him, because if anyone deserves romance, it’s Andrew Bradley. My Andrew, my Drew, my Lee. My everything.
“Only for you,” I declare, then swoop down to kiss him some more. We burn the rest of the afternoon away with kisses that make me gasp and feel warm with desire, but we don’t come again. Just kiss and share words that never seemed possible. Lee’s happy smile is worth every moment.
The storm fades just before sunset. Dark purples and magentas fill the sky outside beyond the tree line of Lee’s backyard.
Lee doesn’t have much food in his fridge, but that’ll change soon.
I’ll keep him well fed now, if he’ll let me.
I toss together a haphazard pasta with butter and onions, knowing Lee will gobble it up.
I carry the bowls out onto the back veranda, and Lee follows me with two beers.
The table and chairs are still wet with rain, so we sit our asses down on the slightly dryer steps that lead to the backyard, each of us cradling a bowl of pasta in our hands.
The goats bleat for attention, but Lee just keeps eating like he hasn’t eaten in years.
“What was Trevor talking to you about?” Lee asks, a hint of wonder to his voice.
Ah. I’ve come to realize that Trevor is actually a little maniacal.
“He told me he had a friend he wanted to set you up with,” I admit around a mouthful of pasta.
Lee looks over at me, aghast. “What?”
“I think he was full of shit.” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I scrutinize Lee’s worried reaction.
“He said he had an older friend who made good money and wanted to settle down with a good guy. A real wine-and-dine type of guy. Asked me if I’d have a problem with you having less time for me.
Made me fucking insane, especially since he knew how I felt. ”
Lee freezes with his beer to his lips. “What?” he asks again.
“Well, after that dinner where you basically said you didn’t want to see me anymore, I ended up at Trevor and Beau’s. I had a little… breakdown of sorts.”
“Breakdown,” Lee repeats.
“Yeah.” I knock my shoulder into his in hopes of getting him to eat again. I smile when Lee takes a big bite of the delicious buttery pasta. “Trevor was playing chess with us, I think. I wonder if Beau has known all this time.”
“He’s known.” Lee drops that casual bomb before setting down his empty bowl and then grabbing his beer. He leans back on his elbows and takes a large sip of his beer. “He’s known for a while.”
“Say what?”
“He’s known since high school, probably.”
“You told him?”
Lee shakes his head profusely. “No, but Beau knows what I feel before I can even think it sometimes.”
“You never felt anything for him?” I ask, because I’ve always been fucking curious. I mean, Beau is so… Beau. He’s kind and bigger than life and full of so much love that sometimes it feels like you’re being smothered even in his silence.
Lee looks over at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“He’s basically my brother. We’ve known each other our entire lives.
No, I’ve never felt anything for anyone except for you.
” Lee takes a deep breath and tilts his head back like he so often does, as if he’s trying to absorb the final rays of sunshine from the day.
“It’s always just been you, Joey. Always you. ”
I wish I could tell him the same. I wish I had realized sooner, but I don’t think I ever would’ve realized had Savannah not come along. Watching Lee love my daughter like his own, him basically being a second father to Savannah for years, is what finally made me fall in love with him.
“Today’s Saturday… Can I plan a date soon? Then Savannah and I will come over midweek to have dinner here. Okay?”
“Are you asking me or telling me?” Lee asks with one eyebrow raised.
“Both, kinda.”
Lee laughs. My favorite Lee laugh, the one that makes his stomach shake and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “All right, Joey. You can take me out on a date. We can have a midweek sleepover too.”
“Score.” I pump my arm, then bite my lip to contain my smile when Lee laughs harder.
“Check on the goats with me?”
He doesn’t have to ask me twice. I leave my empty bowl and beer on the steps and follow him out toward the goats.
He’s exceedingly gentle as he opens the enclosure, and they fondly jump all over him.
I step over to check on Buster the Bunny to find him safely huddled in his covered bedroom, as if he didn’t notice a storm even coming through.
Lee murmurs to the goats and feeds them, and my heart grows even more tender at the sight of him.
The birds sing in the trees, the air cool and humid, and the sun is gone, leaving the sky a darkening blue.
A few stars are starting to peek out, but the most beautiful sight is Lee leaving the goat enclosure to step toward me with that damn shy smile on his lips, as if he can’t believe this isn’t all a dream.
Once he’s close enough, I loop my arms around his waist, letting one of my palms dance under his shirt to touch the warmth of his skin.
He sighs openly, leaning against me until his bearded cheek presses against mine.
I want to hold him in my arms forever, never let him feel unwanted or cast aside ever again.
Lee deserves the world, and I’m gonna give it to him, come hell or high water.
“Lee,” I whisper against his ear, summoning the courage for my next words. “Everything’s going to be okay now. I promise.”
“Please don’t give me this just to take it away,” Lee begs, and my heart breaks all over again. I pull him tighter against me, wishing I could fix it all. Wishing I could go back in time and give him the world sooner, make him feel loved his entire life. But I can’t go back; I can just start now.
“I’ll prove it to you every day until we die.”
Lee hums and presses his lips to my neck, warm and tender.
He seems to breathe me in, a deep gulping breath that even I can feel in my lungs.
I sway us back and forth while we hold one another.
The universe expands and contracts, until we’re two center points in a world that spins madly on around us.
But as long as we’re holding one another, everything’s going to be okay.
And if it’s not, then I’ll make it okay.
The evening takes on a sort of dreamlike quality after that. I wasn’t lying earlier when I said I wanted to crawl inside of Lee. All the years of waiting—of touching, but only on the edge of friendship—are catching up to us. I want to always be touching him. I hope that never goes away.
Lee holds my hand as he leads us back inside, and I watch the slope of his shoulders.
So strong and broad, his body is so perfectly him.
Everything about his body turns me on. I flush with warmth at the idea of getting up close and personal with his cock.
Have I ever thought about sucking dick before in my thirty-six years of existence?
Nope, but I want to suck Lee’s dick and make him beg to come.
I want to see him fall apart while I fuck him. Oh god. I want to fuck him.