Chapter 14 #3
“Maybe I do need a Cyclops in my life.”
“How about on Sunday?” I suggested, and Ronan nodded. It was a date.
We didn’t return to the idea of me moving in with him until we were out in the parking lot.
He had walked me to my car and I brought it up again.
“I’m not going to push you about the living situation,” I said before I got in.
“If you want to take back the offer, you should. I won’t be offended and I’ll re-sign my lease. ”
“For the place you just admitted that you hate.”
“Or I could find somewhere else,” I suggested. “But it doesn’t have to be in your house, where you like to live alone.”
“I need to think about it a little. Ok?”
I nodded, indicating that it was fine. It was not. I’d regretted declining his invitation almost as soon as I’d heard the words coming out of my mouth. But instead of taking them back or admitting that I’d made a mistake, I’d doubled down and told myself that things were fine.
They were not. I’d been miserable thinking that I’d hurt his feelings and that I was going to lose him. I’d been wishing for days that I’d said yes, yes to living with him, and yes to—well, anything else. Anything that increased our contact.
“Think as long as you want,” I urged.
“Yeah, but you have to tell your landlord if you’re moving, right? Don’t you have to give notice or something?”
“I’ll figure that out.” If I had to live in my car for a while, I could do that.
I had before, when the money that my dad gave me had run out during my senior year of high school and I hadn’t earned enough in tips because, frankly, I wasn’t a person who related well to customers.
I had lived that way again when I’d had to get myself out of the dorms at my college.
It had been difficult, but I could do it…
no, that was silly. I had more money now, and I could also go back to motel life.
Why was I thinking about living in my car?
Why was I forgetting that I was now an accomplished, stable person?
“I’ll figure something out for sure,” I stated. “You take all the time you need.”
“That doesn’t sound like you. You’re much more of a hard-ass,” he told me. “Aren’t you the one who pulled over the car to yell at me about going to the tryout?”
“I didn’t yell!”
“No, you didn’t. And I needed that,” Ronan said.
“I just know that I messed up things before and I don’t want to do that again,” I admitted. “I’m really afraid of losing you as my friend.”
“Cate, hell’s bells.” Then, to my huge relief and happiness, he hugged me.
“I’ll do anything,” I told him. “You’re very, very important to me. The most important person to me.”
“Ok. It’s ok,” he said. He’d talked before about me comforting him and patting his hair, but really, he’d been the one doing most of that. He was doing it right now, too.
“No pressure,” I said.
“You just told me that I’m the most important person in your life. That’s the nicest thing I ever heard.”
“No pressure,” I repeated. “I mean it.”
“No matter what, you’ll still have me. I mean that, too.”
He played in Alabama that Saturday and I watched with Ed at my apartment. “This place looks different,” he mentioned as I handed him a beer.
“I sold the pillows I used to have on the couch,” I explained. “They were practically new and from a pet-free environment.” That was what I’d said in the listing. “Tell me about your trip to see your daughter.”
She lived in Wisconsin and had a great thing going, and he talked happily about her, her beautiful home, and her nice boyfriend. “It’s important to pick a guy who’s steady like that. Someone hardworking, with a career and a backup,” he told me. “Like a football player who might also work on cars.”
“Eddie, are you still trying to fix me up with Ronan?”
“Why wouldn’t you want him?” he asked, and it sounded very reasonable. Why wouldn’t I?
The Woodsmen had a tough game which resulted in their second loss of the year. While we watched, we didn’t discuss personal matters and we got to see Ronan play well despite how the score turned out.
“The Alabama coaches will be glad about his performance,” he noted, satisfied.
“Why?”
“Their defense has been struggling at times.” Ed talked about a guy named Ray somebody, who was apparently their shining star, but he needed help. “Ronan would fit in perfect there. I bet you could find a great job in Alabama,” he noted.
“I already have a job, here,” I retorted.
It was also a great job. I worked in a department that did nothing except the stuff I was sneaking past my boss.
He had just impregnated my friend and was apparently trying to hide from that, and his employment seemed to depend on the largess of the family of the woman whom he was divorcing…
yes, it was wonderful. But why would I go anywhere?
There was no reason to consider it. I wasn’t and no one else was, either.
I met Ronan at the miniature golf place the next day, late so that he had time to sleep in after his flight home the night before.
He seemed rested and ready. “I’m going to kick your ass around this course,” he informed me.
“I have an idea about how to angle my tee shots off the curves in the cobras’ necks, like a physics thing. ”
“You should be focused on your putting,” I let him know.
“Is that right? I’ll listen and learn. Teach me,” he urged, and as we walked up to pay, he put his arm around my shoulders. Then I beat him, although he did try to ricochet some trick shots off the various décor items like a sphinx’s paw and some papyrus reeds. None of it worked.
“Well, hell’s bells. Looks like I’m not getting the prize,” he sighed as his last shot went wide.
“I feel that maybe you were trying to lose.”
“Are you kidding? I wanted to pound you into the sand of that fake oasis over there. I came to win tonight.” He took my club from me to carry it toward the exit. “But winning isn’t everything. I also came to talk to you.”
Judas Priest, that sounded terrible. “Yes?”
“Come sit in my car for a second.”
That sounded worse. I nodded, though, and we walked to the parking lot and got into the SUV/car. The door handle worked now, so I could do it myself.
“Ok. Ok,” I repeated. Whatever he said, it would be ok. I would let it roll right off. “Is this about me moving in?”
“Yes,” he answered. “Would you?”
“Would I…are you inviting me again?”
“My reasoning still stands,” he told me. “I don’t like you being somewhere alone, even if you have a crocodile. And more importantly, we have fun together. We can cook, hang out, and work on my short game. We like each other.”
I really did like him. I really, really did. “Well, then, I will let the management of my building know that I won’t be renewing my lease. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. I think it would be great.” He looked at me and nodded. “I don’t want to lose you either, Cate. This is a good decision.”
No, it wasn’t just good. It was perfect.