Chapter 50 Kailin
KAILIN
"Before truth's reveal, the seed of honesty must bloom into a deeper trust."
—Shaman Saphir Fatewever
When I closed the door behind me, the corridor outside Alar's room was empty, which was fortunate since the smile plastered across my face could have been misconstrued.
I tried to get rid of that stupid grin by focusing on the strange combination of electric lights and olive torches in the corridor stretching out before me.
It was actually a clever solution to the frequent power outages plaguing Elucia.
The erratic behavior of the electromagnetic currents caused interruptions, ranging in duration from minutes to days.
Everyone kept oil lamps on hand, but torches seemed more fitting for a structure that had been originally built before the First Extinction War.
The Shedun had destroyed everything they could, but they couldn't destroy the mountain itself, and when Elucians returned to their ancestral land, the Dragon Force Citadel and the aviary had been reconstructed.
Well, that rumination helped for about thirty seconds, and then the stupid smile was back.
Alar hadn't swept me into his arms and kissed me senseless as some ridiculous part of me had hoped, but he hadn't pushed me away either.
The air between us was clear now—or at least clearer than before.
The uncomfortable tension that had been gnawing at me since we'd arrived at the academy had mostly dissipated, leaving behind a tentative hope for a possible future between us.
He'd promised me a breakfast date, and I couldn't wait until morning.
Upon reaching my and Shovia's room, I paused, mentally preparing for the interrogation that was sure to follow.
I'd left Shovia in the lounge, claiming that I was tired and was going to call it a night, but the knowing look that she'd given me indicated that she hadn't been fooled, and when she returned to our room and didn't find me there, her suspicion had been confirmed.
I pushed the door open and found Shovia in bed, her long, dark hair splayed across the pillow.
Her face cracked into a huge grin. "I'm beyond disappointed. I hoped you would be spending the night with Alar."
I sat down on my bed. "Are you disappointed for me or for yourself? If I spent the night with Alar, Codric would have been forced to spend the night somewhere else, and there would have been a spare bed right here." I patted the mattress.
She laughed. "Well, both of course, but I was just teasing. None of us is in any state for vigorous extracurricular activities. I'm surprised that I didn't fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow."
"I appreciate your choice of words." I took off my left boot. "Usually, your phrasing is much less diplomatic." I took off the other and tackled the socks next.
Shovia loved making me blush. It was a sport for her or shock therapy, as she called it, to cure me of my unfortunate virginal state, so being considerate of my sensitivities was uncharacteristic of her.
She shrugged. "I'm inspired by what I have to sleep in. I have never felt so unsexy."
She threw the blanket off, got to her feet, and spun around, showing off the drab, shapeless garment that hung from her shoulders. It was a grayish-brown, military-issue pajama set that looked like it had been designed to fit any body type and size, which meant that it fit none.
"It's like wearing a potato sack," she complained, pulling at the excess fabric. "And it smells like it's been in storage since the first pilgrimage, and I don't mean this year's. I mean the first one ever."
I laughed. "That's possible. They never had such a large crop of cadets in here. They might have pulled out stuff from long-term storage and put it in the supply room next to the bathroom."
It had been stocked with everything we would need for our time at the academy, from towels and toiletries to several types of uniforms, including these unfortunate sleeping garments. After using the bathing facilities, we each returned with a large pile of things.
Lifting the pillow, I pulled out my own similarly drab set, which I had left folded under there. "They're just pajamas. You can get dressed each morning before heading to the bathroom if you don't want to be seen wearing them."
"Just pajamas, she says," Shovia mimicked in a high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like me. "No one is going to see us in them, she says." She shook her head. "I swear, Kailin, sometimes I wonder if we're even related."
"We're not."
"Spiritually, we are." She flopped back onto her bed. "I'd bet you a hundred lumens that our uniforms will be just as unflattering. We'll all look like we're wearing hand-me-downs from our bigger, buffer siblings."
I had no idea why Shovia was obsessing about the pajamas and the uniforms instead of interrogating me about what had happened with Alar. Maybe she was trying to put me in a more receptive mood?
"Everyone we've seen so far looks just fine in their uniforms." I took off my shirt and pulled on the pajama top. "Captain Odinah's uniform fits her perfectly, and so did all the other instructors' and even the cadets who arrived before us from the other two pilgrimages."
"That's because they've been here long enough to have them tailored." Shovia's eyes suddenly sparkled with mischief. "I'm sure that your hunky commander had his custom made. Those impressive muscles of his were very nicely accentuated by his form-fitting uniform."
I should have known she wouldn't let that topic go.
"The commander is not my anything." I pulled down my pants and pulled on the pajama bottoms. "Well, other than my brother's commanding officer, that is, but that has nothing to do with me."
"Oh, please." I could practically hear the eye roll in her tone. "The man zeroed in on you like a falcon on its prey. And don't think I didn't notice how you looked at him." She batted her eyelashes.
So, that was why she wasn't interrogating me about Alar. She was still hung up on Commander Ravel. Maybe she was interested in him?
"I didn't look at him any particular way," I said, gauging her response.
"Kailin." Her voice had shifted to that tone she used when she thought I was being deliberately obtuse. "You practically melted into a puddle at his feet."
That was a gross exaggeration that was meant as a provocation. I knew all of Shovia's tactics, and she couldn't egg me on like she used to when we'd first become friends.
"I was surprised to see him again, that's all." I got under the blanket and pulled it up to my chin. "I told you, he was there the night the Shedun attacked our village."
"Okay, fine. Don't talk about Ravel if you don't want to.
" She reached for the light switch next to her bed and turned the lights off, but she'd forgotten to close the curtains on the window, and the aurora lit sky supplied plenty of illumination to keep everything in our small room in sharp relief.
"Tell me how it went with Alar instead."
And here I had thought that I had dodged the interrogation.
I should have known better.
"It went well, I think. He's not glaring at me anymore."
"Well? Don't leave me hanging!" She propped herself on her elbow. "What did you say? What did he say? Did he apologize for being a jealous ass?"
I laughed. "Not in those exact words." I smiled. "But he admitted that he'd been hasty in jumping to conclusions."
"From Alar, that's practically groveling." Shovia flopped back against her pillow. "So, I guess you didn't confess the tingles you got from Commander Tall, Dark, and Brooding."
My smile faded. "I may have downplayed that part."
"Downplayed or completely omitted?"
"I told Alar that I recognized Ravel from the Shedun attack, which was true. I just didn't mention the strange connection I felt with him even back then."
I couldn't reveal to Shovia or anyone else my ability to communicate with Onyx, so I couldn't tell her my latest theory that the connection I felt was actually to the dragon, and through him to Ravel. It was their bond that facilitated the transfer.
"Some things are better omitted," she said with a sage nod. "There's no reason to add fuel to Alar's insecurity at this stage."
Her words mirrored my own thoughts so precisely that I felt validated. "I still feel guilty, though."
"Don't," she said firmly. "When you get much closer—" she winked at me suggestively "—and he feels secure in the relationship, then you can admit to your smidgen of totally natural and completely understandable attraction to the hunky commander." She fanned herself dramatically.
I would have thrown a pillow at her, but they had given us only one each, and I wasn't using mine to wipe that lustful expression off Shovia's face.
"It's not like that," I protested, though a part of me wondered if it was. The way my heart had raced when Ravel had approached me, the strange electricity I'd felt...
It was more than just recognition, more than just the connection through Onyx, but it also wasn't the same as what I felt for Alar.
"It's exactly like that," Shovia said. "And there's nothing wrong with it. Ravel is gorgeous, powerful, and obviously interested in you. Any woman with a pulse would feel something."
"Maybe," I conceded. "But it doesn't matter. I care about Alar."
"Of course, you do." Shovia's expression softened. "That's why you marched your butt down to his room tonight instead of hanging out with all the fun people at the lounge."
I turned on my side. "Did I miss anything?"
"Not really. I should have taken my time in the shower instead of rushing to make it to the get-together. All we did was rehash stories from the pilgrimage that everyone knew already."
"What about you and Codric?"
There was a long moment of silence. "He was checking out all the other girls, so naturally, I checked out all the other guys."