Chapter 68 Kailin
KAILIN
“I knew him long before he came.
Not by name, nor by vision, but by the hollow carved within my heart, shaped to hold only him and no other.
He didn't come with thunder's call or sudden flight,
Just steady eyes that knew my plight.
I'd waited lifetimes without knowing,
But when I heard him call me ‘home,’
I knew the voice beneath the voice,
The one I'd always known.”
—Marna Vor?et, Pre Division Era Elucian poet
Alar's head thrashed, sweat slicking all his tight muscles, and I knew that he was hanging on by a thread, all because of me and what I was doing to him.
Thanks to Shovia and some racy literature, I knew everything there was to know about the pleasures shared between lovers, and I'd even read about the sense of power and satisfaction that driving a partner to the heights of pleasure brought about. But words could not do the feeling justice.
Pride and arousal were a potent hedonic mix that I could easily get addicted to, but only with Alar.
This prince of a man was mine, giving himself over to me with the same abandon I was giving myself over to him.
When he started to buck wildly, I knew I had a decision to make. I could have him finish in my mouth, which I had to admit was strangely arousing, or stop what I was doing and have him claim me as I had planned, and I had mere seconds to decide, if that.
"Drak!" he hissed, trying to pull back. "If you don't want me to come in your mouth, you have to stop!"
It wasn't really a conscious decision to keep going. I just didn't want to stop. I wanted to see Alar lose it and fall apart.
His back bowed and then heat spurted into my mouth as he threw his head back on a silent roar. I swallowed and kept sucking and licking like he had done to me until he had nothing more left in him.
Alar shuddered as I licked him clean. "I must have died and gone to Dolis."
Lying back against my pillow, I chuckled. "Do Elurians believe in the afterlife?"
"Of course." He squeezed beside me on the narrow bed, and I made room for him by scooting to one side. "You are incredible." He leaned over me and kissed my lips. "I don't think I've ever…" he drifted off.
I wanted him to finish that sentence and proclaim me the best he'd ever had. It wasn't as if I was under any delusion that he'd been celibate until he found me. Even if Alar weren't an Elurian prince, his looks and personality alone were enough to make him irresistible to most women.
"You can say whatever you wanted to say. I want to hear it."
Looking at me as if I was precious to him, he feathered his fingers over my cheek. "There is only you, Kailin. Everything else belongs in the already forgotten past. You are my future."
My heart fluttered in my chest at his words, but I had to acknowledge that this was an odd moment for such a declaration. Alar hadn't even claimed me fully yet. Although truth be told, I felt like I'd already claimed him, and it wasn't because of the intimacy and pleasure we'd just shared.
It was a different kind of claiming.
It was a reclaiming because right now I felt like Alar had always belonged to me, and that we'd gotten separated in another life, only to find each other again.
How else could I explain my total lack of bashfulness about being naked with him on top of the covers, with the taste of his seed still on my lips?
I looked into his gorgeous eyes. "I feel the same. I mean about you being my future because I have no past other than the one you and I shared in another lifetime."
His eyes widened. "That's precisely how I feel.
It's like I've been searching for you without knowing that you were what I was missing, and when I found you, I knew I'd found home.
" He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I told myself that it was absurd to feel that way for a girl I'd just met, but since you feel it too, then our meeting must have been preordained. "
Alar was grinning, and my heart twisted in my chest. He was the most handsome man I'd ever met, my Elurian prince.
I grinned back, and we were smiling at each other like we'd won a coveted prize or uncovered a hidden treasure, and in a way, we had.
He buried his fingers in my hair, holding me steady, his gaze shifting to my mouth. "My Kailin."
He kissed me, and as we clung to each other, chest to chest, our tongues entwining, the flames of my desire flared anew until I was moaning into his mouth. I let myself go, trusting Alar to catch me, and he didn't break that kiss until I was light-headed and we were both panting for breath.
"My Alar," I said.
He tightened his arms around me, and then his hands dipped down to knead my bottom, while he ground his erection against my mound.
Alar's recovery was quite fast and impressive, and I liked to believe that it was because of me, and that he wouldn't have been as quick to rise again with anyone else.
I folded a leg over his hip, bringing his hard length closer to where I needed it and at the same time trying not to think how big he was and how difficult the joining was going to be.
From talking to Shovia, I knew not to expect pleasure the first time, but Alar had already given me that; I was ahead of the game, and perhaps that was why I wasn't as nervous about what was about to happen as I'd thought I would be.
"I drank the contraceptive tea," I whispered. "I'm ready."
"I'll be gentle," Alar promised as he pushed me to my back. "If you want me to stop at any point, just say so, and I will."
"I know," I whispered. "I trust you completely."
I had no doubt he would never attempt the game some men played of being beyond the point of no return. There was no such thing for humans unless one was talking about gravity.
As Alar lifted to his knees, I expected him to grip his massive erection and point it at my entrance, but instead, he leaned over me and kissed a path from my neck to my right nipple.
As his mouth closed around it, I arched my back, letting him know that I wanted more of that, but he didn't linger on one breast for long before moving to the other.
I didn't want him to stop, and not because I was stalling. The pleasure was intense, and he knew the exact moment when pleasure turned into pain and switched to the other breast, letting the first calm as he tormented the other.
He also knew exactly the moment when I had had enough of that and needed something more.
Was he reading my mind like the shaman had?
What if Alar had shamanic potential as well?
The untimely thought fled as he spread my legs apart and knelt between them, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe.
I was scared, but I also wouldn't stop this for anything less than a Shedun attack on the Citadel.
Gripping his shaft, Alar rubbed the crown up and down my sex, and I was transfixed, needing to see but at the same time afraid to watch.
I felt pressure at my opening, and as the crown penetrated the tight ring of muscles, the stretching sensation wasn't pleasant but felt necessary.
"Okay?" Alar asked, the tendons in his neck straining.
Biting on my lower lip to stop myself from whimpering, I nodded.
"I need words, Kailin. Talk to me." Sweat was beading on his forehead and temples from the strain of holding himself in check, but he was not willing to continue without my explicit permission.
If I hadn't already been falling in love with him for days, I would have fallen right now. I hadn't been with any other man, but I doubted anyone else would have been so considerate at this moment.
"It hurts," I admitted. "But I don't want you to stop. Just go slow."
"I can do that." He pushed a fraction more of his length, and the burning, pinching sensation intensified.
"More?"
I nodded even though I was fighting tears. Nothing good ever came without putting in the work, right? People wouldn't be obsessing about sex if it didn't get much better fast.
As Alar pressed a little more, I tried to breathe through the pain. He looked as anguished as I was, not because he was hurting physically, but because he hated hurting me.
"I love you," I murmured.
His head shot up, and he looked stunned. "I love you, too."
"I know." I offered him a smile. "Don't be afraid to hurt me. I'm tougher than I look."
"I don't want you to have to be tough." He rocked his hips a little. "I want this to be pleasurable for you."
"I know." I gripped his bottom, gritted my teeth, and arched up, taking him all the way until he hit the end of my channel.
The pain was blinding in its intensity, but then it started abating. It became bearable, but it was still far from enjoyable.
Staying still, Alar gazed down at me with love shining in his eyes and reached with his fingers to push a strand of damp hair off my forehead.
"Are you okay?"
I forced a smile. "I will be in a moment."
He kissed me sweetly on the lips, and it also helped that he deflated a little inside of me, probably affected by my pained expression. The discomfort eased, and I moved my hips, rotating them a fraction to signal that I was ready for him to start moving.
His mouth still fused to mine, he started rocking gently inside of me until pleasure replaced discomfort, and I arched up again, taking him deeper yet.
With a groan, he let go of my mouth and increased the rhythm. I found myself meeting his thrusts one for one, and soon, we were both moving with frenzied urgency.
I was climbing toward another orgasm, and so was he, and when the coiled spring inside me sprang loose, Alar covered my mouth with his to muffle the scream that erupted from my throat. Releasing his own roar into my mouth, he jetted into me with powerful torrents.
With a groan, he collapsed atop my shuddering body, and I hugged him tightly to me, wishing we could stay like this, entwined in each other, body and soul.