Chapter 16
CALEB
Today is going to be huge. The kind of day that could really change things for me, if I play my cards right.
And it’s not just that this is the first real game of the season.
It’s not even the possibility of landing a sponsorship from Icy Edge Razors, though that would definitely be a huge win that has me determined to do whatever I can to score some goals.
The really special thing about today is that I’m going to tell Liv how I really feel about her.
I can’t stop thinking about her lately. And seeing her up in the family box with Daisy in her lap makes my heart whole for the first time in a long time. Being with her, even just for pretend, has forced me to confront one of my greatest fears.
Once the press found out that Liv was my girlfriend, they naturally got curious about Daisy. It took basically no digging to figure out that she was my daughter.
I never really thought the press would care about me now that I’m down in the minors. But the Philly paper did another piece on how things are improving for me. They managed to mention that my daughter Daisy was enjoying the games, without saying anything offensive or treacly.
I always worried that having my daughter in public would make me feel dirty, like I was using her for PR.
But reading the article, I actually felt the opposite of that. She was simply included.
And all I’ve ever wanted was for Daisy to be included. I dream of her being included at school, in a group of friends, maybe even at a job one day. So why shouldn’t she be included in my life too?
I guess being with Liv was the first step to me seeing that not all publicity is bad publicity. She paved the way for my daughter with her calm demeanor and gentle smiles.
Liv is such a positive soul. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have her in my life.
She’s great for both of us. Though sometimes when we’re together, it feels like she can be a little too focused on me and Daisy, and not enough on herself, which has made it hard to really get to know her.
It’s almost like she’s deflecting my attention on purpose sometimes.
But once she’s really my girl, she won’t be able to keep that up. And I want to know every little thing about Liv—her hopes, her dreams, her past, and what she wants from the future.
I already know how excited she is about getting a chance to bake on a bigger scale. Which is why I managed to keep my mouth shut this week while she prepared for the debut of her cupcake stand. I didn’t want to take anything away from her big moment.
But I’ve decided that I can’t wait any longer. After the game, I’m coming clean. My parents are taking Daisy out for ice cream so I can corner my fake girlfriend and ask her to be mine for real.
I shake out some of the tension in my arms and legs, and try to get my mind back on the game.
The locker room vibe is kind of low key today, but if it’s anything like our other game days, it’s just the calm before the storm.
A few of the players are talking about sponsorships while we gear up. I thought I’d done a good job keeping my potential deal with Icy Edge Razors quiet, but everyone seems to know about it.
I probably have my dad to thank for that. He might not like that I’m here, and he clearly doesn’t care much about the woman he thinks is my girlfriend, or even my daughter for that matter. But man is he proud of anything I do on the ice.
When I was a kid, I was grateful that he had my back, and I was sure that all the pushing was just his way of getting me closer to my dreams.
But coming home again is forcing me to see things in a different light.
He cares a whole lot about my career. But I don’t think he cares much for the actual man putting up the numbers, the one whose emotions got in the way of the treasured stats that really have his heart.
Instead of being glad to see me home, I get the sense that he’s mostly just annoyed about how I got here.
I’m starting to wonder if we’ll even have a relationship at all if I ever stop playing.
And I also wonder what would have happened if I’d had more of a life as a kid. Would I have still made it to the top? Would a few hours a week to go to a party or just play with my friends really have taken my edge?
If not, I wonder if the version of me that wasn’t such a hockey machine might have been more able to control his temper, and less scared and desperate about Daisy’s prospects in the world.
I guess it’s natural that I worry about Daisy when the truth is that I never had any real friends myself. It took Liv to force me to see that Daisy’s got plenty going for her.
But there’s no point wondering about the past. I’m focusing on today.
And I’ve decided it’s going to be the best day of my life.
The game is electrifying.
It’s a close one, and I manage to hold my temper in spite of the Coyote Pack’s center clearly baiting me at every face-off.
Around me, my teammates are all pushing themselves. They’re as focused as I am today.
I spot the rep from Icy Edge in one of the seats down near the ice, a couple of assistants beside him. But I don’t let myself look at him again. I need my head in the game. I need to put on the kind of performance that makes him want me as the face of his product—and that means scoring some goals.
By the final period I’ve got one under my belt and I’m hungry for another. The game is tied, and the Pack is slowing down. Another goal would probably win us this game.
I’m in the flow now, moving around the other team’s guys like time is stretched out for me, watching them struggle to catch me.
And then I see it like the ice is lit up to show me the puck’s path to the net.
I slow down just the tiniest fraction to take my shot, and instantly one of their monster defensemen charges down the ice at me like an express train flying off the rails while the other goes right for Jake Rivers.
There’s a chance I can beat this guy and score my goal. But if I miss with only a few minutes left, there might not be time for another chance.
I put my head down and go all out. Everyone in the stands is cheering.
They can tell I’m all in for this goal, and so can everyone on the ice.
The other defenseman leaves Jake to focus on me, and a split second before they both hit me, I let the puck go and the goalie goes down to easily block the only shot I have.
Only I don’t take that shot.
A flick of my wrist puts the puck right on Jake’s stick, and he sends it sailing straight into the back of the net like it’s the easiest thing he’s ever done.
Or at least, that’s how I picture it.
I won’t get to actually see it until I watch the video after the game, because I’m too busy having my soul knocked out of my body.
As I slam into the ice, I try to enjoy the wild cheers of the crowd. And I tell myself they’re cheering because we’re winning now, and not just because they like seeing me get knocked down.
Although I guess there’s no reason it can’t be both.
“Nice, fifty-eight,” someone yells.
As the lights above me stop spinning, I take inventory of all my aching parts and decide no permanent damage has been done.
I sit up to see a bunch of our guys with their arms around Jake.
But Van and Sokolov are right here with me, grinning and offering me a hand up. I’ve never felt more like part of the team.
Coach calls out the second line, and we head back in.
In spite of the hit, I feel really good. Everyone I pass on my way to the bench has a high-five or a nod of approval for me. Even Coach is wearing a begrudging smile instead of his usually steely expression.
Well, almost everyone I pass, that is.
The Coyote Pack’s center comes off their bench seething.
“Welcome to your funeral, Stone,” he hisses at me. “I’m going to hit you so hard, you’ll be as special as your daughter.”
My brain goes blank with fury and I’m ready to drop my mitts.
But before I can move a muscle, a blue and white blur is flying past me, slamming the Pack player into the boards so hard that his helmet flies into the stands.
Was that… Beaumont?
“Stallions take care of our own,” Jake says, skating up and thumping my shoulder.
Beaumont slides past us to the penalty box looking awfully pleased with himself. And for once, his smug grin makes me smile too.
He’s got my back.
We’ve all got each other’s backs.
I glance up at the family box, where Liv is smiling at me. She didn’t hear what was said just now, but she cares about me. And I know it makes her happy to see the guys accepting me as one of their own.
It’s good to feel just a little more worthy of her today.
I’m determined to be the man she deserves—the very best version of myself.