Chapter 17
LIV
The game wraps up with a win for the Stallions and I’m on my feet, along with the rest of the crowd. Daisy is in my arms, cheering right along with me.
I can feel the whole arena practically vibrating with joy. Daisy laughs as she watches her Nana shout and pump her fists. Plenty of kids her age might not like all the screaming, but this little girl is fearless.
I’m starting to think that I actually love hockey. It moves fast, and I admit that at first it was a little hard to follow the puck. But now that I’ve seen a couple of games, I totally get how this sport has won so many hearts.
It might also help that I’ve got a favorite player.
Caleb glanced up here a few times during the game, and I can’t help noticing that it’s really only Daisy and me that he looks at, even though his dad is beside his mom, giving a running commentary on everything he thinks Caleb is doing right and wrong.
He was pretty mad about that assist, even though the whole crowd went wild.
“He’s a team player, honey,” Audrey said.
“He’s got a possible sponsor here and a lucrative deal on the table,” Mr. Stone growled back. “And he’s not here to sacrifice himself for the Stallions. This is just a steppingstone back to Philly.”
From what I’ve been reading about centers, they very much do have to be team players. They play offense and defense and they’re basically the big brothers of the team, constantly on the lookout for their fellow players, and switching roles as needed.
But I’m not about to try and have a discussion with Mr. Stone about it. Not when he looks like thunderclouds are forming under his eyebrows.
We all pile out with the rest of the crowd and Audrey takes Daisy from me so the three of them can meet us out in the lot when Caleb is finished with the press and the fans.
I wonder if Caleb will ever rethink his decision never to let the world see Daisy. I’m pretty sure he saw the piece in the Philly paper that talked about how much she enjoys the games. I thought their mention of his daughter was respectful and sweet.
But he’s her father. And I would never blame him for being protective.
I make it down to the hallway by the dressing rooms and I’m happy to say hi to a couple of the guys coming out. They’re all sweaty but happy, and I’m really glad for them that today went well.
“Hey, Cupcakes,” Sokolov says in a flirty way, winking at me.
I can’t help laughing.
“You keep my sister out of trouble today?” Van grunts on his way past, eyes twinkling.
“You were amazing,” I tell him. “Great job out there.”
He nods, looking pleased.
And then Caleb is there in front of me, beads of water from the showers clinging to his dark hair like they’re as obsessed with him as I am.
It’s just pretend. It’s just pretend, I try to remind myself as the world around us seems to fade away at the edges.
“You were wonderful today,” I tell him out loud. “That was such a tricky move you did with Jake Rivers.”
“Thanks,” he says, his smile going all the way to his eyes… his beautiful, dark eyes that have my heart pounding as they search mine.
“But I didn’t like seeing you get hit like that,” I manage to say. “And neither did your dad.”
“I’ll bet,” he chuckles. “But you know I’m tough, don’t you, beautiful?”
I’m literally weak in the knees. I can’t believe he’s talking to me like this when there’s no one around to hear it.
I nod and look down, unable to meet his eyes again for fear that I’ll do something really stupid.
“I need to talk to you,” he tells me. “Alone. Now.”
I look around but I don’t see anyone. Why can’t he say whatever it is now?
“Come on,” he says, holding out his hand.
“Your family is waiting,” I tell him. “And the fans.”
“They can wait another minute,” he says. “And I can’t anymore.”
He drags me to the stairwell and looks around to be sure that it’s empty.
It’s basically a concrete shaft with light streaming in through a tiny window. But it seems like the most romantic place in the world to me with Caleb standing here, looking at me like I’m the answer to all his prayers.
“Liv,” he says. “I can’t do this anymore.”
My heart sinks. Am I getting dumped by a pretend boyfriend?
He must see the look of shock on my face, because he laughs as be brushes a stray hair off my cheek, his finger lingering for just a second.
“I mean I can’t keep pretending,” he says. “I have real feelings for you.”
I have feelings for you too, I want to shout.
He’s so beautiful, he could be a movie star. More importantly, his heart is big enough that he’s ready to sacrifice for his daughter, for his team, and maybe for the woman he loves…
But another version of me is still pulling back, whispering that a man like Caleb Stone isn’t for someone like me.
“You can tell me if you don’t feel the same way,” he says softly after a moment when I don’t respond.
But he doesn’t let go of my hands, and the warmth in his eyes feels like coming home.
I can’t bring myself to say no or pull away. I feel like a moth fluttering around a light.
“I never thought I would be ready to share my life with someone,” he tells me. “I have a complicated life, but you fit, Liv. It’s like you were made for Daisy and me, and we were made for you. Please, will you give me a chance to be your real boyfriend? Will you let me love you?”
The hope in his eyes seems to have a direct line to my heart and I find myself nodding, still too overcome to speak.
It’s real. The pull I’ve been feeling between us is real.
Caleb doesn’t smile, but his face is transformed, like his whole body is so filled with light that rays are about to burst out of his fingertips.
He lets go of one of my hands to cup my face.
I close my eyes and lean into his warmth.
“Liv,” he breathes, leaning close.
When he kisses me, that light I saw in his eyes seems to flow into me and I feel warm inside, and light as air, like I could fly from the moment his mouth claims mine.
He keeps the kiss gentle, but the hand that isn’t cupping my cheek slides up my arm and I can feel his restraint in the firm way he holds me, like it’s all he can do not to sweep me up and carry me away.
Someone opens a door to the stairwell from an upper floor and I pull back as the sound echoes around us.
“Wow,” Caleb says, gazing down at me. His jaw is tight and his eyes hazy.
My own heart throbs helplessly.
He wraps a big hand around mine again and we head back out to face the world, as a real couple now.
The fans and reporters won’t know that anything is different, but to me it all feels brand-new. I can barely breathe.
Caleb glances down at our joined hands now and then as we make our way down the halls of the arena, as if I’m not the only one trying to convince themselves that this is real. It’s endearing, and it makes me feel like I’m melting from the inside out.
This is everything I ever wanted, everything I never even let myself dream of.
But in the back of my mind, a little voice reminds me that this still isn’t real, and it never will be. Not until he knows who I really am.