Chapter Twenty-Two
Austin
“I need an update.”
“Sir, I’ve told you already. You’re not family; we can’t give you any information.”
The warm tone of the southern blonde nurse who led me out of Danny’s room is long gone. In her place is an old timer, a black woman who must be in her late fifties and is already sick of my shit. Like I’m not too. I fucking hate myself.
Luca left a few hours ago, returning to the office to attend to the fallout, something I should be doing instead. But I can’t leave Olivia here. If I leave, it would be over, and it’s not fucking over. Not a chance.
I don’t know that man.
It’s nothing less than I deserve. But she’s the only one who knows me.
I’ve told her things that even Luca doesn’t know, that Alfie doesn’t know.
..Okay, Alfie might know them. But that’s not the point.
The point is I’ve trusted her with everything.
And she trusts me, too. She’s trusted me to look after her brother.
I could have just fired him; I could have let him go, and none of this would have happened.
Not that we know what actually happened.
Luca is interviewing, to put it politely.
He’s using my dad’s old-school tactics on this one.
I’m fucking furious, but my usual instinct to fight isn’t surfacing.
I’m not even running. I’m frozen, like a fucking opossum. This is what I’ve been reduced to.
Luca is right. I’ve lost my edge and become soft. And for what? She wants nothing to do with me. I’ve lost her just as I almost had her.
Austin, I . . .
I’ll never know what she was going to say.
Was she going to tell me she loved me, too?
I was nervous as hell she wouldn’t, but I felt it right?
I know she felt the same, the looks, the love that radiated from her; she was happy with me.
We were happy together. Despite being from different worlds, we were working it out together.
I hear a door open along the corridor where Danny’s room is.
I’ve been removed from the seats outside the room, so I’ve been in the general waiting area for the last twelve hours.
I glance up the bright corridor as Olivia shuffles out.
Her shoulders are slumped forward, her skin sallow.
My beautiful, perfect girl, beaten down by the fluorescent lights and anguish I’ve caused her.
She heads to the counter, where the older nurse is still scowling every time she looks at me. Olivia hasn’t seen me yet.
“I need to know what needs to be paid,” she says.
Jesus, I don’t think she’s slept at all. She’ll need new clothes, her things. No way I can convince her to go home to rest, but I can bring things here for her.
I send a quick text to Luca with a list of items to pick up from her house. She’s already furious with me. What’s one more invasion of privacy?
“It’s been taken care of, darling. The bill is settled,” the nurse says softly.
So she can be nice. Brilliant.
“I don’t understand.” She shakes her head. Has she eaten anything? Surely the nurses would have brought her some food?
Her head flicks toward me, and I try to hide my face behind my hand like a fucking chump. As if I could look away from her. As if I could hide my six-foot-four-inch body in a waiting room the size of a small café with only four other people in it .
She stares me down. Her tears have gone now. It seems the last twelve hours have hardened Olivia. Now she’s all fury.
“How is Danny? They won’t tell me anything,” I try.
“Why are you here?” Her voice is clipped, uninviting.
“You know why I’m here, Killer.”
“Don’t call me that,” she snaps.
“Oli—”
“No. I need you to leave.”
“I can’t do that.” I shake my head. Fuck, it’s dry as fuck in here; my eyes are prickling.
“Why not?” She throws her hands up, her voice rising. The four other people waiting are staring now. Their eyes are on me, trying to work out what’s causing the commotion.
“Because I love you, and whether you like it or not, you need me right now. I’m not leaving you. I promised you I wouldn’t leave you. Do you remember?”
The nurse puts her hand on her chest, her head tilting slightly.
Olivia shakes her head, and her whole body moves away from me. I’m losing her. I can feel her slipping through my fingers like sand, and the harder I try to grip, the quicker she’s falling through my fingers.
“You made a lot of promises, Austin, none of which you can be trusted to keep.” The tears fall again, and I can’t say which is worse to endure, her tears or her anger.
She turns back to the nurse. “How much did he pay you? I want a record.”
The nurse glances at me again, but there’s sympathy in her eyes this time.
“Don’t look at him. Look at me. He’s my brother. I don’t want that man anywhere near him or paying for anything else. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, miss. I’ll have it noted on your brother’s record. I’ll print the invoice that was paid for you now.”
I’m surprised she’s so accommodating, but maybe she’s a sucker for Olivia’s tears too.
She hands her the piece of paper, and Olivia scans down to the fee.
Her head snaps back to mine. Yeah, baby.
Paid up. The American healthcare system is fucked.
But I have the money, and there’s nothing I’d rather spend it on right now.
I want Danny back to full health as soon as possible, not just for him, but for her—and selfishly, for me.
If he doesn’t get better...Fuck, if he dies, then all hope for me and Olivia dies with him.
All that work with Alfie, years of unlearning the things that had been ingrained in me, and I’m still the selfish prick I’ve always been.
It’s always about what I can get out of a situation.
The realization hits me like the lasers Olivia is trying to blast out of her eyes right now.
I’m sure she’d split my skull in two if she could.
“I don’t know what happened. But I’m finding out. My best people are on it.”
She shakes her head, crumpling the invoice in her clenched fist.
“It’s done, Austin. There’s nothing you can do that will fix this. We’re done.”
“No.” I shake my head, swallowing hard. “We’re not done. This...it’s fixable, I'm going to fix this.”
She strides toward me, her finger jutting into my chest. The masochist in me is just happy she’s touching me.
“Do you have a time machine? No, you don’t. You can’t fix this, you’re fucking delusional, and I’m...I’m just an idiot who believed you were redeemable.”
I recoil. Bile stings up my throat, threatening to spill into my mouth.
All this time. All this time I’ve spent with Alfie.
Making better choices, building, rebuilding, rebuilding again.
Over and over. The time, the effort, the energy.
It’s been for nothing. She’s gone. Her eyes are dead when they look at me.
And I can’t even be mad about it. She’s right.
I’m disgusting. I don’t deserve to be anywhere near her, let alone begging for her forgiveness.
Her cheeks are wet, her eyes puffy, her lips part in shock at what she’s just said .
“Austin . . .”
I cut her off before she backtracks because she’s right. “There’s no redemption for me, Olivia. I know what I am. I’m the villain. I’ll always be the villain.”
I step back.
“Austin, no. Wait . . .”
I turn and walk out of the waiting room.
I have to accept who I am.
Olivia
Austin left a few hours ago, but the ache hasn’t left yet. I’m holding Danny’s good hand as tears roll down my cheeks. Eventually the nurse brings a cot in for me to sleep on. She shushes me as I sob, and despite the warmth that radiates from her, I feel colder than ever.
How could I have been so cruel?
I’m furious, of course. Furious that Austin hadn’t known this was going to happen, but really, how could he?
He’s just one man trying to be better. I dragged him into our lives.
This is as much my fault as it is his. And really, it doesn’t even matter because the real person to blame is Austin’s father. I know it in my gut.
The nurse brings in a bag for me, containing some fresh clothes and my phone which I had left in Austin’s car.
I shake my head when she asks if there is anyone she should call. Danny and I only have each other. There is no one else to call.
I have a few messages, including some from Jenny at Squeeze the Day.
Jenny: Babe, I’ve just heard, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.
I jot out a quick reply to let her know Danny is stable and to say thanks .
Me: Hey Jenny, thanks for messaging. I know it’s been crazy. Danny is doing okay, though. He has surgery tomorrow morning for his leg, but the doctors are optimistic.
I see three little dots pop up instantly.
Jenny: What happened with Danny??
Me: He’s in hospital. What are you talking about?
Jenny: Millie and Travis. They posted another video. They’ve outed Austin. I had no idea who he was, or I would have told you. I’m so sorry for pushing you toward him.
Shit, fuck, poo bags. What the hell is she talking about?
I quickly jump onto the app. I’ve been tagged so many times.
I’d turned off my notifications recently as it was all getting too much so I hadn’t known about the video.
Rotating the screen, I pull my thumb to my mouth and bite the skin around my nail.
I watch the video, eerily similar to the apology video from weeks ago.
Except this time, the looks on Millie and Travis’s faces are smug, like they’ve just found out how to print money out of their ass, and they’re going to brag about it to everyone.
They’re holding hands, sitting close together.
“We’d like to take this opportunity to thank our fans for their patience. We’ve had a particularly difficult time lately due to one Olivia Daniels. See, the apology video we were forced to make a few weeks ago was complete bullshit.