Chapter 18
*****
Later that evening, she was in the backyard, working on reviewing a contract. She was glad she was able to keep her work moving without impacting her clients in San Francisco. She was in the middle of updating the legal language when she felt movement.
She looked up to find Ashok walking toward her, his dress shirt casually untucked from his dress pants. She had seen him that morning in a hurry dressed in a suit.
“Hi,” she said, putting away her laptop. There was never a time he had approached her without needing to discuss something with her.
He nodded in response and stood a few feet from her. “I spoke to your aunt.”
Isha wanted to roll her eyes knowing exactly why her aunt would have called Ashok. The kid’s birthday party.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Ashok looked at her for a long moment. “I agree it’s not a good idea to celebrate in San Francisco but we should celebrate here. Have your family visit.”
“No.” It was the last thing she wanted to do. Have a celebration with her family around and pretend like nothing has happened.
He sat in a garden chair opposite her. “What do you mean, no?”
She took a deep breath and let it out. “You heard me. I do not want a celebration. This is not the time for it.”
“So, when would be a good time?” His question felt like a dart.
Never, she wanted to yell but she suppressed that urge.
“Not now.”
His body language indicated he wasn’t going to let go. “When?”
She fell silent. They were talking in circles at that point and she didn’t see a need to prolong.
“I’m not in a state of mind for a celebration.
If you ask me when I would be, it might be never.
I have nothing left to celebrate. I have no intention to create memories that will only be demolished by the next big tragedy I’ll need to handle.
” Her tone was extremely mellow and her voice was only slightly louder than a whisper.
His long silence gave her hope that he would understand why she didn’t want a celebration. That was broken in half a second when she saw him shake his head.
“This,” he paused like he was choosing his words. “This is not about you. It’s about the kids.”
“That’s BS.” She spat. “They will not care if there was a party for their first birthday.”
“They will when they are older and since you aren’t planning to be around to see them grow up, I can understand why you don’t think it’s a big deal.” He stood up like he was done having the conversation. “It is important for me to celebrate their key milestones.”
“Stop.” She was livid.
He stopped short in response to her mini outburst but did not turn to face her. She placed her laptop on the chair next to her and walked over to where he stood. The breeze was cool but she was burning in anger and nothing could cool her down.
“Do you not have any empathy?” She met his eyes in the dim light. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what’s happening with me.”
Nothing shifted in his eyes but she went on. “I don’t know what I’m even feeling. I only have bad things associated with this place and I’m trying to get out of here as soon as I can.”
“Then. Let me plan the celebration,” his voice mellow he added, “This will be an opportunity for me to invite my family in hopes of reconnecting with them.”
“Don’t twist this around. Someone who didn’t show up to catch the final sight of their daughter, why would they come to this party?”
Something shifted in him and the look in his eyes, she thought he was going to explode. But he stayed rooted to his spot. A moment passed and she could feel his anger and it made a chill run down her spine.
“Unlike you, I don’t dwell in the past. I will do what it takes to make the future better.
” She could see the clench in his jaw even as he spoke.
“All you do is play the victim card all day. The only way out of trauma is to face it. I will tell you what I told you weeks ago. Do something about what caused you trauma and stop—”
She had heard enough. She raised her hand and swiped it across his cheek. She felt the burn on her hand from clashing with his cheek before she felt his grip on her wrist.
“Grow up, Monisha.”
She fought back tears. Everything about what he said, the way he said it, including using her official name, annoyed her. “I hate you.”
He let her wrist go, pushing her arm away. “I don’t give a fuck what you think of me. I’m going through with this plan. I can’t sit around doing nothing like you.”
“How dare you,” she said, lifting her hand again, to express her anger.
But this time, he caught her wrist in a vice-like grip.
“I chose to let you lash out at me once.” He leaned closer, too close. His breath warm on her face, he added, “Out of courtesy to my best friend, don’t push your luck.”
“I hate you.” She could think of nothing else to say.
“Like I said, I give a crap.”
She didn’t realize it wasn’t just her wrist he held, he had her in a vice-like grip. “Let me go.”
He slightly tightened his hold on her wrist. “For raising your hand at me, not once but twice, I deserve this attention.”
Isha tried to wiggle out of his hold but could not. She had never been in such a situation. Someone intimidating her with their presence, and holding her in a restrictive position. And she wasn’t going to take it lying down even if she was the one who instigated him.
“Let me go.”
He didn’t respond nor did he move.
Impatience got the better of her and she moved swiftly, stepping on his foot in a swift move, fully expecting him to let go of her but he only let out a groan, tightening the hold on her further.
Frustrated that her defense training did not work, she threw her head back to look up into his now raging eyes. But he still did not show any indication of softening.
“Fine, I’ll talk, if you get out of my space.” She had to get him away from her and stop intimidating her.
He let go and she rubbed her wrist, standing a foot away from him, locked in a death gaze.
She hated his guts but something else was looming in the air.
Like she needed to make a point, she tilted her chin up.
“I will not let you bully me into this. If you want to host a celebration, do it. I’m in no position to play host and pretend like nothing happened. ”
She barely turned away from him and the next moment, she swiveled back into his arms. Her chest crashed into his and this time she was so much closer to him. Her hands were held behind her, her wrists pressed together.
“You think this is funny?” He growled.
Overcome by new levels of anger and her need to challenge him only grew. “What the heck do you think you’re doing?”
His eyes narrowed at her like he was trying to scare her and that did it. She wasn’t interested in fighting her way out of his grasp. She was going to make him let her go. With that thought, she pushed her heels off the ground and went up on her toes.
It gave her a kick when she saw surprise in his eyes before she crashed her lips over his. She felt his hand loosen around her wrists in response to the shock but it only lasted half a second. His hand at her wrists, pressed them together, harder and his other hand gripped her hair.
What was a stunt she pulled to mess with his head backfired. His lips came down on hers punishingly and she felt his anger. She shuddered in response to the pressure and the shooting pain she felt from the insult in the moment.
Refusing to accept what was meant to be a punishment, she pulled back only to soften her lips against his. He held her down under his crushing hold but soon something shifted. She moved her lips against his and that slowed him down.
She felt the pressure on her wrists loosen and a moment later, he swept his lips over hers and that sent a sizzle through her. Her hands were free but instead of pushing him away they fisted in his shirt on either side of his arms as the moment intensified.
Everything around her froze and she heard nothing but the thundering sound of her heart beating play in her ears. It was a novel phenomenon and she was sucked right into it and she had lost all control.
She was pulled out of the daze when he let her lips go and she noticed how her chest heaved and so did his. She still had her fingers clenching his shirt and like cold water was splashed on her face, she let go of his shirt.
Embarrassment, anger and a mix of many emotions hit her but she refused to acknowledge any of them. Moments passed and he didn’t move or say anything. She knew it was time to concede.
“Make the arrangements for the party. There is no point discussing it further. She was shaking all over but managed to keep her voice steady.
What she was referring to as ‘it’ she wasn’t sure and decided not to read too much into those explosive few moments, as she made her way back to her room.
What the heck was that?
She went up the stairs in hopes of never having to face him after what happened. A shudder passed through her when she finally took in the reality of that moment. If he hadn’t been the one to pull away she didn’t know when she would have ended it.