Chapter 16
FEELINGS
This cannot be happening.
As if I haven’t already suffered enough. He did not just spend our entire lives lying to me.
My despair begins to dim as rage burns through my veins. Brick by brick, I build the dam back, pulling myself together until I’m slowly standing and walking to the bathroom to splash water on my face.
My eyes are swollen and bloodshot. I glance at the necklace that shimmers in my reflection.
The necklace he gifted me. He orchestrated this whole thing.
Wait, he knew this whole time? My breath comes out in hiccups.
I want to scream, but with the open windows, I know someone will hear and come running.
I take deep, slow breaths, hoping to dissolve some of the fury building inside of me. But I need answers, and I want them right now.
I sling my door open, and it crashes loudly against the adjacent wall.
Spiderwebs stretch across the cracked marble.
I hadn’t realized I was that strong, but I don’t even pause to consider the damage as I storm down the hall.
He’s not in the council room, dining hall, or any of the other meeting rooms.
My fury grows with each empty room.
The sound of metal on metal reverberates all the way up to the terrace, and I turn my rage to the training ground.
The breeze whips the loose strands of my hair around my face, and dirt kicks up around each of my thundering steps. Crossing under the archway, I see Lachlan sparring with Tane while Mathilda sips water by the refreshment table.
“Back so soon, Lena?” she calls.
Her smile is bright as she waves excitedly in my direction. Lachlan freezes at her voice, causing Tane to stumble to keep from slicing him in half with his sword.
“Hey, what’s the—” Tane cuts off as I round on them, fury radiating off me in waves.
“Oh shit,” Mathilda mutters, and she lurches off the table, heading in our direction.
“You fucking lied to me?” I scream at him, shoving past Tane. I stand toe-to-toe with Lachlan. He drops his weapons to raise both hands in surrender.
“Lena, I am so sorry. I dinna ha’ a choice.”
The misery reflected in his eyes is almost enough to make me pause, his accent becoming thicker than it usually is. At least now he is finally showing some emotion, but it’s too late. My rage has burnt all other emotions away.
“You didn’t have a choice? Where was my choice?!”
How many people were implicated in this scheme? And why didn’t anyone ever tell me?
But it’s hard to focus on the intricacies. All I see is red.
Mathilda comes to my side. “Wait, how long have you two known each other?” she asks, her eyes bouncing between us.
Tane crosses his arms. “Good observation,” he whispers to her.
She rolls her eyes at him. “Let’s give them a minute.” Tane nods towards the water table.
My chest heaves. The anger continues to course through me as we stand facing each other.
I barely even register Tane and Mathilda slipping away as I study the stranger I thought was my closest friend. I thought I knew him, but the Lachlan I knew never could have done something like this to me.
“Lena,” he begs. “I never wanted to hurt ye or lie to ye in any way, but you had to come here, and I dinna think there was any way I could convince ye otherwise.”
“You never meant to hurt me? This whole time, you knew, you knew EVERYTHING, and you lied to me,” I shriek at him as tears begin cascading down my cheeks.
“You knew what you meant to me, what I felt for you, and you led me on and into this.” I gesture around us.
“I trusted you more than anyone. How could you do this to me?” My voice cracks under the weight of the emotion, quickly rising to the surface.
My fury has finally given way to the crippling grief it had held back. But it’s now plainly written on my face.
“Key, please, ye ha’ to believe me. I dinna want this to happen.” His eyes gutter at my last words, and he clutches his chest with both hands, pleading.
Deep down, I know that he means every word.
The man before me, the man that I’ve grown up with, is nothing but honorable and kind, but I can’t see past the utter betrayal looking me dead in the eye. I muster up my last dregs of dignity, willing myself not to break down any further in front of him.
“Does Gran know where I am? Does Torin?”
His head hangs between his shoulders for a moment, and my stomach ties into knots. His eyes sparkle, silver lining the green. “They ken, and she wanted me to tell you,” he pauses, taking a deep breath, “not to come back.”
My mind empties.
The rage, fear, and crippling grief slip away into utter silence. Blood pounds in my ears. My bottom lip quivers, and I do my best to hold the rest of me together.
“She doesn’t want me to come home?”
His jaw flexes, and he scrubs a hand down his face. “Nae, she wants ye to stay here. This is where you were always meant to be.”
The dejection I feel outweighs everything else. I spin around and stalk towards the archway, leaving him behind.
He calls after me.
But I don’t look back.