33. Maria
Chapter thirty-three
Maria
Thirty minutes earlier
Chris’s movement is so fast, I barely catch it from the corner of my eye. Carrying Wolfie, he whooshes out the sliding glass doors.
“Wait. Where ya going?” I swing around, but he’s down a tunnel before I can tell which one.
What the heck did he mean when he said he’d sleep in the warehouse and Lehm would sleep in the master bedroom?
He must’ve gotten his words mixed up. But then, why did he run away?
I want him to get to know Lehm. We’re all family.
Community. And while I’m happy Wolfie is fine, we’re more important than the cat. Or we should be.
Zinnia shovels in the last bite of her dinner, then yawns.
We’ll work on manners later. “You want anything more, baby girl?”
She picks up the glass of milk Chris gave her and chugs it down, then pats her tummy. “All full.”
I pick her up and carry her. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s get you bathed and in bed.”
I can’t get enough of the reassuring warmth of her body, the unique scent rising from her, the way she relaxes in my arms.
She’s alive. She’s safe. She’s mine again.
When I fill the bathtub and add a squirt of bubble bath, Lehm gasps. “You can waste that much water?”
“Yeah, it takes getting used to. I felt like a storybook princess when Chris brought us here. Such riches.”
Zinnia undresses and dives into the bubbles, playing with the rubber duck Chris gave her.
I offer Lehm a spray bottle. “Homemade shampoo. Will you clean her scalp? We can redo the braids tomorrow.”
Lehm sits on the edge of the tub and does what I ask. “Where did Chris go?”
“I don’t know. Tunnels connect the agricultural domes to this one.”
He carefully lathers her scalp between the braids. “What’s happening to the other vam—”
He stops, looking ashamed.
Zinnia glances up at him with soulful eyes, far wiser than her young years. “It’s okay to say the word, Papa. Not all the vampires were bad.”
I gently touch Lehm’s shoulder. “I’m sure the good ones will be fine.” I say that more for Zinnia’s benefit than his, because I’m still fuming that the so-called good ones didn’t stop the kidnapping. “Let’s discuss the matter after baby girl’s asleep.”
“It’s just… I think you met Diego. He’s my maker and helped me protect Zinnia. He wasn’t actively involved in the kidnapping. Would you let the vampire in charge…”
“Tig?”
“Yeah, her. Will you tell her Diego is on our side? Don’t let the Lux hurt him.”
“Chris and Tig suspect a pre-Collapse vampire figured out how to get inside the ark.”
“That would probably be Jimbo. He led the team that kidnapped her. And stirred up the second vote—”
“To hold out for seven trucks.” I cut him off so he doesn’t repeat what they planned on doing to Zinnia in front of her.
“Jimbo’s double-dealing rose out of his anger over losing friends when Chris exploded the truck.”
I growl. They were adults. The war between renegades and the ark keepers doesn’t justify Jimbo’s decision to hurt Zinnia. “Rinse off our baby girl and get her dry.” I hand him a towel. “I’ll be back in a moment.”
I don’t want Zinnia to hear the conversation, and using subvocal in front of Lehm feels rude. We shared everything when we were together in the silo.
The living area will provide sufficient privacy. I ease onto the couch and try comm’ing Chris. He doesn’t answer. So I contact Tig. “Hi. It’s Maria.”
“I know. A bit busy now.”
“Oh. Sorry. But this is important. Remember Diego? He’s Lehm’s maker and helped keep Zinnia safe.”
“Yeah, he’s been screaming at me, wanting to know what happened to his fledgling.”
“Please don’t hurt him. Lehm’s concerned.”
“Got it. No one’s getting hurt. Yet.” Tig pauses. “Because of their willingness to reach a deal to return Zinnia, they might be offered amnesty. How do you feel about that?”
I grit my teeth. I have Lehm and Zinnia back. But does that mean I have to forgive the perpetrators? “Amnesty? Not good. And I want to talk with Chris and Lehm first.”
“Yeah, they should weigh in too.”
“Lehm also told me that a guy named Jimbo was the one who led the break-in. Probably with others. He’s also the one who wanted to renege on the deal and hurt Zinnia.”
“Thanks for the info. That changes things. Does Lehm want Diego brought to the ark? Is Chris okay with it?”
“I’ll ask them. But you hit on my other problem. Chris picked up Wolfie and disappeared into the tunnels. He’s not answering his comm.”
On screen, Tig huffs and shakes her head. “Bless the ancestors. That man picks the worst moment to run away. I think I can find him.”
The screen goes dark. I walk to the sliding glass doors, which part, and step between them, then realize my heart won’t let me leave Zinnia this soon.
My shoulders slump as I trod back to her room.
I wish Chris would talk to me. Zinnia’s in her PJs, in bed, reading a picture book to Lehm.
She must have shown him how to use the hairdryer’s diffuser, because her braids aren’t wet.
He beams at me when I walk in. “She’s really learned a lot since I left.”
“Papa Lehm has promised never to leave again.”
He kisses her forehead. “You bet, sweetheart.”
I take the book from her and set it on the nightstand. I hold her tight for a moment, so grateful that I’m overwhelmed. Then, tucking her in, I kiss her cheek. “Sweet dreams, baby girl.”
Lehm follows me out, and I turn off the lights before closing the door. A small night-light in the bathroom keeps the bedroom from being totally in the dark.
I stop at the pantry. “Are you hungry?”
Sadness fills his eyes. “Always. We never had enough blood to feed everyone.”
I gesture to the dining table and, minutes later, bring over two glasses of warm blood. “These are for you.” I return to the kitchen for mine.
He chugs down the first glass, then sips the second more slowly.
I look into mine, thinking I’ll find the answers I need in the ruby-red liquid. I don’t know if Lehm wants to talk about the Kartchner Caverns nest, but the only way I’ll know is by asking. “What really happened in the caverns?”
His eyes flood with tears.
I reach across the table to hold his hand, and my eyes water, too.
“I told you. Diego saved me. He offered to turn me when no one else would.”
“Why wouldn’t they?”
“The nest never has enough blood to feed everyone. The maker must share his portion with his fledgling. But Diego was clever and managed to find stuff the insiders wanted badly. He traded for enough mortal blood to get me through the turn and the resulting bloodlust.”
“Oh. But I still don’t understand.” I sigh. “I was unconscious when Chris turned me. It saved my life, but it wasn’t my choice.” I point at the fangs in my mouth, which lowered when I sipped blood. “Why would you agree to become this?”
“I wasn’t ready to die for good. I held out hope I would get to see Zinnia again.”
Ah. That I can understand. We’d do anything for our baby.
I squeeze his hand. “I’m glad you said yes.”
A faint blush washes over his face. Although it’s more muted, I learned to recognize what the slight purplish tinge on his dark skin meant.
“U-uh,” he stammers, wiping a hand across his eyes. “Uh, I had another reason to say yes. Diego was attracted to me, and, uh, I was attracted to him.”
Oh. Oh. “But you were also attracted to me, right?” Chris explained being bisexual. Is that what Lehm’s trying to tell me? Is he bisexual, too?
I fall silent, waiting for Lehm to answer my question.
He takes back my hand and squeezes it. “I’m sorry. I did what I had to so we could have a child. But I wasn’t… Not the way I am to guys.”
I blink, a little stunned. Lehm and I had sex. For years.
“Maria, I’ve always cared for you. You’re my best friend. But I’ve never been…sexually attracted to you. I was far more interested in Gabriel, but he had no interest in me. He made that clear when we were teens.”
Then I recall Lehm would happily let Gabriel take the nights with me that were supposed to be his, assuming I agreed. He never seemed that interested in sex, unless we were trying for a child. We just talked and cuddled a lot of the time.
That was never the case with Gabriel.
Oh.
How could I have been so blind all this time?
My best friend—my husband—is gay.
My jaw hangs open as the pieces of our situation all fall into place. “Why didn’t you tell me before this?”
“And stir things up? It was just the three of us, and no option other than complete celibacy. Plus, I wanted a child. But Diego… He opened my eyes to a world I didn’t know existed.”
I furrow my brow, trying to think through the ramifications. “Does that mean you don’t want to be married any longer?”
“Well, no reason to consider ourselves married except—”
“For Zinnia.” Not only is he Zinnia’s father, he’s also her savior.
Lehm sniffles. “She’s too young to understand all this adult stuff.
Our marriage wasn’t the kind they had pre-Collapse.
No paperwork, no registration with some governmental record-keeper.
We can decide we’re not husband and wife, and no one but us will care.
But we need to think about how to present that to Zinnia. ”
I nod. “Even if you aren’t my husband anymore, you’ll always be my family.”
“I feel the same way.”
Then a thought occurs to me. “Are you in love with Diego?”
Lehm smiles wistfully. “He’s my maker. We have that bond thing, but I don’t think it’s love. Attraction, sure.” He shrugs. “Frankly, I can tell he doesn’t love me. He’s so traumatized by the world—he’s a hundred years older than us—and doesn’t let himself feel.”
“Our families taught us love, despite the hellscape we were born into. Do you think that’s the difference?”
“Maybe. Anyway, I don’t feel love through the bond. I can feel him tugging on it, urging me to return, but it feels more—I don’t know—possessive and parental? Like he’s still in charge of me as his fledgling.”
I recognize the difference he describes. What I have with Chris is heartfelt. I tug on the bond between us, letting him feel my concern, my anxiety, and my love for him. But he cuts me off. Why? What is hurting him so badly?
We got Zinnia back. Lehm is alive. All is well.
Lehm is alive…
I bury my face in my hands. The apology he made to Lehm. He thinks I’ll throw him over for Zinnia’s father.
The idiot!
Not only would I never do that, I just assumed we’d work out an arrangement like I had with Gabriel and Lehm.
I lived my adult life with two husbands—the whole concept of the nuclear family, which I’ve been reading more about, feels foreign to me—but falling in love with Chris made a twosome palatable.
When Lehm suddenly appeared, I assumed Chris would be willing to share me.
I mean, the way he talked about all the lovers he used to have, the music fans—well, I didn’t think he’d have a problem with it.
But now Lehm’s confession changes everything.
Darn it! Where is Chris?