Chapter 11
Ricochet
My eyes should have adjusted to the darker lighting in the house, but I was getting sucked back into the memories.
It’d been dark as hell out in that desert, at least until some of the buildings had caught fire.
Passing by the window on my way to the fridge had sunlight flashing into my eyes.
I hissed out a breath as they registered to my mind as truck headlights.
They’d blinded us as the group of insurgents had surrounded us.
Shaking my head, I tried to get a handle on my breathing. No. Not insurgents. Cultists. Wait. Who had it been? My chest was heaving, heart racing as I grabbed the kitchen counter to keep from going to my knees.
“Don’t,” someone snapped from nearby. “Don’t touch him.”
Looking over, I saw three pairs of boots.
They blurred, merging together, then disappeared.
Sand. Everywhere. Gunfire. Blood. Fuck. I had to help Jack.
Hellfire. Someone needed me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will my mind to let go of the past. It was fucking impossible.
My brain kept leaping between events and then back here to the present.
“You’re safe here, don’t try to fight it.” That was Toxic.
My eyes opened and landed on his face. He was squatting down in front of me. When had I ended up on my ass?
“Just let it play out,” Toxic suggested.
What did he know about it?
“The more you fight, the harder it’s going to hang on. We won’t let you do anything stupid,” Toxic promised.
Sighing, I stopped fighting. My head slammed back into the cabinets as I watched Jack’s body jerk with each round that pierced through him.
He fell in a pool of his own blood, lying too still on the sand.
The sound I made was more of a roar than a wail, but it was agonizing.
In the moment, I didn’t know if it had only echoed inside my own mind or if it was bouncing off the walls of my sister’s kitchen.
Time was all distorted and I didn’t know how long I sat there, lost in the grip of the nightmare my life had become. But eventually, it began to fade.
“Get out of my face,” I huffed out as I realized all four of my brothers were hovering around me.
Embarrassment sent heat sliding over my skin.
I hated losing fucking control like that.
It was bad enough when it happened in the privacy of my room at the clubhouse, but each time it happened in front of others the shame built.
This wasn’t the first time I’d lost my shit in front of them.
It didn’t matter that they were family, I didn’t want anyone seeing me like that.
Butcher held out a hand and with a sigh, I took it. He hauled me to my feet.
“Let’s get those beers,” Smoke suggested, already raiding my sister’s fridge.
That was one good thing about my brothers, they knew when I didn’t want to talk about it and they were good at not prodding me.
We each took our beer and walked back outside.
The remnants of the memories were still there, but the guys kept up a constant stream of shit talking that prevented me from dwelling too much on the past.
I caught Toxic giving me considering looks every once in a while, but he didn’t say anything.
Something I was grateful for. I wasn’t even sure where to begin with asking for help.
It wasn’t something I did often. I knew Lockout was planning something, but I hadn’t asked for specifics.
Until I figured out a next step, my plan was just to stay out here and as far away from the memories as I could.
My nerves were frayed thanks to having two attacks in one day. I listened as the guys laughed and talked, only joining in once they realized how quiet I’d gotten.
“We leave tomorrow for Rip’s wedding,” Smokehouse told me. He and Hellfire were watching me closely now.
I couldn’t believe over a month had passed so quickly.
Forcing a smile, I told them, “That’s going to be a damn good time.
” I swallowed down my disappointment at not being able to go.
Just seeing a couple of my brothers had set these attacks off.
I could only imagine what would happen if I went and was surrounded by them all, plus their families.
As much as I loved them, Lock had been right.
I couldn’t go. “Tell him sorry I can’t be there,” I muttered.
The beer washed down the emotions that were rising from within my chest.
“He knows,” Butcher replied.
“He wanted to come out here today, but they had to get on the road this morning,” Toxic added. “He hasn’t had a lot of time since bringing everyone back from the compound.”
“I bet.” I understood. The people we’d brought with us out of the desert needed him. They’d been thrust into an entirely new world and Riptide and Sloane were the only rocks they had to cling to. It was all new to Sloane, too, so that left Rip.
Feminine laughter floated in the air and we all glanced over. Butcher let out a whistle from between his teeth, it was low so only we heard it. “Who’re the babes?”
Smokehouse shot him a dark look, but Butcher just shook his head. “Kit may as well be my sister, too,” he said with a shudder. “Don’t think of her that way.”
“The blonde is my sister,” I told him with my own narrow eyed look.
“Well shit,” Toxic muttered. “Everyone’s just related to everyone. How about the gorgeous-”
“Taken,” I snarled.
They all froze, eyebrows up, identical shocked looks on their faces. My anger wasn’t unusual. They saw it often, but the jealousy that was searing my gut was new. And they could easily see it.
A smile formed on Butcher’s face. It was devilish and I knew it meant trouble. “Well… Maybe we should go introduce ourselves, Toxic.” His eyes were glued on me as he spoke to his friend.
“You deaf, Old Man?” I asked. “She’s spoken for.”
“I heard you,” he replied, his tone upbeat and bright. He was doing this just to piss me the fuck off. “Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t meet your old lady.”
“Old lady?” Smoke asked, looking over at me. “Did you end up-”
“No,” I answered, cutting him off again.
“But he’s going to,” Hellfire added, in what he clearly thought was a helpful tone.
Butcher and Toxic were already hopping over the porch railing. One minute they’d been sitting there, the next they were gone. “Those fuckers,” I hissed and went after them.
The women stopped as the five of us approached. Jordan’s eyes widened as they bounced between us.
“Hey there,” Butcher called out. His voice was pitched lower and he had his eyes on Jordan.
“Um…” She looked over at me, unsure of what was happening.
“I’m Butcher,” he continued on, not at all fazed by her uncertainty. “This is my manservant, Toxic.”
Toxic flipped him off and moved in close and grabbed her hand. His thumb rubbed over the top of the hand he held as he shook it. “Hi, Sweetheart.”
“Hi, I’m…Jordan,” she answered, glancing down at where he was brushing his thumb over her skin.
Butcher gave my sister a bright smile. “And what’s your name, Beautiful?”
“Gwen,” she replied with a smile. She knew what they were up to. Gwen hadn’t met anyone but Hell, Smoke, Lock, and Rip, but she was already picking up on the game Butcher and Toxic were playing.
“Knock it off,” I growled at them.
Their grins only got bigger. Toxic stepped up next to Jordan, facing me, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Knock what off?” He asked. His tone was going for innocent, but came off as instigating. “We’re just introducing ourselves to your friend.”
Jordan frowned, looking between me and Gwen, searching for an explanation.
Seeing Toxic tugging Jordan’s body into his side had red seeping into the edges of my vision. I loved these men, but right now I wanted to rip their fucking balls off. All my emotions were jumbled up and too close to the surface to be fucking around like this.
Honestly, the bullshit pranks and jokes these two liked to play helped keep me in check.
It was hard to take everything so damn serious when Butcher and Toxic were around.
If they weren’t fucking with us—their brothers—they were usually starting fights with other people.
Either way, I ended up being able to crack heads and take out some of my frustrations.
This time was different. I glared at Toxic and reached over, grabbing Jordan’s arm. It didn’t take much to pull her toward me and angle her until she was wrapped under my own arm. “No need to touch.”
Jordan looked up at me, confusion sparking in her gaze. “What’s going on?”
“Ignore them,” Kit said, rolling her eyes. “They’re giving Ricochet a hard time.” There was laughter, but also annoyance in Kit’s tone. “That’s what Butcher and Toxic do, give everyone a hard time.”
“Ouch,” Toxic replied, putting a hand over her heart as if she’d damaged the organ.
“Oh please,” Kit said with another eye roll. “I’m pretty sure you don’t have a heart.” When Toxic gave her a pouty look, she laughed. “Fine.” She walked over, rose onto her toes and went to give him a kiss on the cheek.
Toxic being who he was, shifted just in time so her lips landed on his. His hand went to the back of Kit’s head, holding her there, though he didn’t do anything but keep their lips pressed together.
Kit gasped as Smokehouse grabbed her by the waist, yanking her away from Toxic.
“Hands off my sister, Asshole,” Smoke snapped. Hellfire looked like he wanted to break Toxic in half.
Toxic and Butcher hooted with laughter. They’d managed to piss off all three of us and confuse the girls completely.
Kit played peacekeeper and stepped between her brother and the man she’d just kissed.
Her eyes darted over to Hellfire, then quickly away.
“Enough. I swear if you two were left alone and bored the world would end,” she scolded Butcher and Toxic.
“Just having a little fun,” Toxic said, tossing me another grin.