Chapter 29
Hellfire
As much as I wanted to stay by Kit's side all hours of the day and night, I had to leave her in her brother's, in my opinion, less than capable hands, so I could get everything done for this funeral.
Uncle Hal had only arrived an hour ago thanks to having to make arrangements for his other children and a delayed flight.
My dad left a while ago to pick him up at the airport and they were coming straight to Marty's funeral home for the service.
I'd enlisted Mom's help with all the decisions that needed to be made for the funeral.
How the fuck did I know what kind of flowers were right?
Or the music? Mom had been a Godsend because I couldn't very well ask Kit to help me.
Not for this. Not when the woman in the casket had put a knife into her belly.
Fuck. There was a huge part of me that wanted to go over to that fucking coffin and strangle a dead woman.
Something told me that would be frowned upon, so I managed not to.
The urge was still sizzling there within me though.
My thoughts shuddered to a stop when Kit walked through the door. The doctor released her this morning. I was there and had driven her home. I left her in my bed, set up to rest comfortably for the afternoon. It didn't matter how many times I told her she didn't need to be here, she was still here.
Her face was pale and I could tell she was hurting. But she was here. I tugged the tight collar of my shirt away from my neck before I walked over to her. "You okay?"
"Fine," she said with a firm set to her lips. She thought I was going to try to convince her to go home.
She needed this. I’ve killed more than my fair share of people, but never family.
I could only imagine the guilt that was hitting her.
She needed to be part of the closure process.
I was just trying to get through this charade without anyone losing it.
The whole ordeal was only for my uncle. If it wasn't for him, we'd have tossed Pixie's body in the incinerator and been done with it.
I needed to give my uncle that closure, though.
It'd been hard to sit my parents down and explain, with bits and pieces left out, about Pixie attacking Kit.
My parents were the ones who came up with this plan to let Uncle Hal know.
To help him move on. Then act as though it had never happened and move on with life.
They assured me they would help smooth everything over.
Wrapping my arm around Kit, I led her over to her seat.
My leg was fucking killing me. Despite my newly acquired bullet hole, I'd been running around on it like I hadn’t been shot.
It was keeping me awake at night, aching.
I didn’t have time to rest or take it easy.
There was too much to be done. "You need anything? "
"No," she said, giving me a strained smile. "Thank you."
"Everything is ready," Marty told me, his voice soft.
He was dressed in his usual funeral attire of a black suit and tie.
His salt and pepper hair was perfectly combed back.
He was a good friend of the club and we trusted him to keep this secret.
He knew a lot of our secrets since he got rid of most of our bodies for us.
I nodded and gave him a tight smile. "Thanks."
"I'll be right here if you need anything," Kit said brushing her lips over mine when I leaned down.
There was tension between us. I’d been feeling it since she woke up, but hadn’t had the time to address it.
The first few days of her hospital stay, she’d hardly been able to keep her eyes open.
Since then, I’d been working to make sure everything was finished in time.
This rift between us was fucking killing me, though, and I honestly wasn’t sure if it was coming from her, or me.
The sound of the door shutting alerted me that someone was here.
Most of the family was already seated and waiting.
I turned to see my dad and Uncle Hal walk in.
They were both somber, their faces grim.
Uncle Hal had been hit hard by Pixie's death.
We'd all been worried about how he'd take it when we told him she'd been killed.
He'd taken it better than I'd expected, but I knew he was still grieving.
Dad paused next to me and squeezed my shoulder. "You ready?"
"No."
He gave me an understanding smile. "It's a fucked up situation.
" I'd told them as much as I could without giving away all the club's secrets.
They knew that Pixie had sold us out to an enemy, giving me over to them and that the guys had found me.
They knew that Kit had been searching for me and found Pixie instead, and that Pixie had attacked her and seriously wounded her.
Everyone else only knew that Pixie had been killed.
My family and the club were the only ones who knew it was in self-defense.
We didn't tell Uncle Hal that Kit was the one who ended Pixie's life.
There was no reason for there to be friction between them.
It wasn't Kit's fault. He only needed to know that Pixie fell in with a bad crowd, that I failed to save her, and that it cost her her life. It was one hundred percent true.
"Yeah. Thanks for everything, Dad."
He nodded and gave me a hug before taking his seat next to Mom. Uncle Hal stopped next to me, looking around at all the people gathered here. "What is this?"
"A service," I told him, keeping my voice low. He thought there was only going to be a quick viewing for him and his wife. I hoped that having our whole family, plus my MC family here would comfort him. "For Savannah."
His eyes widened as he stared at me. "You did this?"
I nodded. "I know you've been having a hard time and I wanted to do something to help you move on. There's a memorial at Mom and Dad's afterward."
He pulled me into a hug and I could feel the way his body trembled with emotion. "Thank you."
Squeezing him tight, I let go and led him over to the front row of seats that had been set up. We'd closed down the funeral home for the service. Uncle Hal sat next to my dad and I went back to sit by Kit. She gave me a soft smile as I took her hand.
The music started and everyone stood as the pastor that Marty used began to speak.
Mom had put together a lot of what he had to say up there, since the guy didn't know any of us.
She did a great job, though. He talked about Pixie's short life, then moved on to talk about how she was in heaven now, which was bullshit.
I wasn't sure I believed in heaven and hell, but if they were actual places Pixie certainly wasn't being outfitted for a robe and halo.
When he was done, everyone sat back down, waiting for the family to go up one at a time to place flowers on the coffin that was covered in pictures of Pixie.
Uncle Hal went first, followed by his wife.
I didn't take my turn, hoping that my uncle didn't notice.
I couldn't go pretend to be grieving over her, not even for him.
Not when she nearly got me killed and almost took the best thing in my life away from me.
I sat there next to Kit while everyone gathered around the casket.
Looking over at her, I noticed the blank look in her eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked in a low voice.
She swallowed hard, snapped out of wherever she'd gone in her head and gave me a shaky smile. "Yeah. Sorry."
"Don't be, Vixen." I frowned, realizing that I'd been so focused on Uncle Hal that I hadn't been checking in as closely with her as I should have today.
"This can't be easy for you." I'd killed a lot of men. I’d never sat through a funeral for them, watching their family grieve over their loss.
This had to be torture for her. "I can take you home, if you want? I'll stay there with you."
"No," she said with a shake of her head, her dark hair shining under the lighting. It was easy to see she wasn't feeling her best, physically or emotionally, but she was alive and I was fucking grateful for it. "I want to stay with you."
My heart swelled and I leaned in, pressing my forehead to hers. We sat like that until Uncle Hal walked up to us. He didn't say anything about my not going up front. "Thanks for doing this, Ben." Kit stood when I did and I flinched when Uncle Hal hugged her.
She tried to conceal the pain, but he'd squeezed her hard enough that a little sound escaped her lips. "Sorry," she said, trying to play it off.
Uncle Hal frowned and looked back and forth between us. "You're limping," he said to me, his eyes narrowing. "And she's clearly injured..." Kit shook her head, starting to deny it, but shut up once Hal pinned her with a dark look. "Does any of this have to do with my daughter being dead?"
"Hal-" Dad had followed his brother over to us. He was sticking to Uncle Hal’s side like glue.
"No, Zeke," Hal said, raising his hand to silence my dad. "I have the right to know what's going on."
I looked around and found Lockout's gaze. He raised a brow in question. He would take over and clear everything up if I wanted him to. As much as I appreciated it, this was my burden to bear. "Come outside, Uncle Hal," I requested. "You wait here," I told Kit.
Her lower lip trembled, but then a fiery determination lit her eyes. "No. We'll face this together."
Nodding, knowing she needed to see this through, I followed my dad and uncle outside with my old lady by my side.
Uncle Hal turned and faced us as we walked up.
“I want to know what’s going on.” The pure devastation written on his face nearly broke me.
But I wasn’t going to throw Kit under the bus and I couldn’t go around telling everyone about what had happened with The Italians.
Bad enough that my parents knew what they did.
It put them in danger and I didn’t like that.
It didn’t matter that we’d finished off The Italians.
The more people who knew, the more issues we were going to have.
We stood there, staring at each other, for a long moment.
Finally, I sighed. He was going to find out eventually anyway, but I needed to be careful about how much I told him.
"Savannah got caught up with the wrong people," I began carefully, "her death was the result of her involvement with them."
Kit shifted against my side and I knew she was about to confess everything. I squeezed her closer to my side, silently telling her not to say anything.
"And your injuries?"
"Also from the wrong people," I told him. “I…I had the chance to save her, but I failed. In the end she was in too deep. I couldn’t protect her.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. More like a bastardized truth.
Our eyes were locked as he tried to figure out if I was telling the truth.
Finally, he sighed and wiped his hand over his mouth.
"I wish I could have gotten custody of her.
" His voice cracked, filled with pain. "Maybe then she would have had a chance.
" He shook his head. "I always knew this was where she was going to end up.
She was too much like her mother, except for with Savannah, it wasn't drugs.
It was danger. Men, situations, whatever she could find.
I'm sorry," he said, looking between me and Kit.
"I know you're not telling me everything, but honestly? Maybe it's better if I don't know."
It was definitely better for him. "Why don't you let Dad take you back to the house?" I suggested.
We watched as Dad led Uncle Hal away. Pulling Kit in front of me, I wrapped her up into a hug. I could tell she needed one. She'd seemed so defeated the last few days. "Talk to me, Vixen."
"Why didn't you tell him?" she asked, voice muffled against my chest as she buried her face against me.
"Because it's not his burden to bear. Because the truth will only hurt him more. Because…this is the cost of our lifestyle." I told her simply. "It isn't either of your burdens. I'll carry it for the both of you. You're my old lady and I protect what's mine."
She pulled back and stared up at me. Her eyes were filled with tears. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I can't seem to justify her death to myself."
I sighed. I didn’t know how to fix this for her. How to tell her that this wasn’t her fault and make her believe it. "It's alright, Kit."
Her expression turned horrified. "No, it's not! I- You-you must hate me. I’ve hurt your family so badly."
"Kit," I said, trying to get her attention. "You-”
"Kit?"
Her head snapped to the side and she froze in my arms. She wasn't even breathing as she watched the man hurrying across the parking lot toward her.
She hadn't seen her father in years, since he moved over to Europe.
He was on a cruise when Smoke had called him about Kit being hurt.
Looked like he was finally home. "Go," I told her, nudging her into action.
I knew she was going to lose it any moment.
I nodded at Ridgeback right before Kit started moving.
She wasn't able to move very quickly, but Ridgeback made up ground quickly with his long stride.
"Dad," she cried out as he pulled her into a gentle hug. She was sobbing against his chest as I walked up.
"So sorry to hear about the trouble, Son," Ridgeback told me, his eyes understanding. He wasn't the type to try to kick my ass for failing to protect Kit. Smoke most likely told him everything that went down, so he knew the circumstances.
"Thanks, Ridge." I'd known him as long as I knew his kids. He was a good man. One I respected.
"You and I will talk later," he told me. "But you should go be with your family now. I'll take care of my little girl here."
I nodded and brushed my hand over Kit's hair. "You good?" She wasn’t. I knew it. There was so much we needed to talk about, but other shit just kept getting in the way. I was being pulled in too many directions. It wasn’t fair to her, but I didn’t know how to fix it until the memorial was over. Then I’d have time to set her straight.
She turned and gave me a hug. "I will be. Go. I'll be at the clubhouse with Dad."
Tipping her chin up, I brushed my lips over her, ignoring the warning look her father was giving me.
I met his eyes after I straightened back up.
I wasn’t sure whether she had told her father about us, but at this point, I didn’t care.
We both needed the comfort and I wasn’t going to leave her hanging because her dad was right there.
"It'll be a long talk, Son," Ridge warned.
Chuckling, I nodded in agreement and left to go do my duty to my family. All I wanted was for this day to be over so I could hold Kit in my arms in the quiet of our apartment, but that wasn't going to happen for quite some time. Straightening my spine, I headed back inside.