Chapter 15
The panic in Lavender’s voice set Zoe’s nerves on edge. She’d just packed her bag to head out on a home visit when the call came through from reception.
‘Zoe…can you go up to Ottilie’s room?’
‘Is everything all right?’
‘I’m not sure. Fliss is in there with her and says she’s had a funny turn. She wants you to come and check her over.’
‘Yes, of course…I’ll go up now.’
If Fliss was asking for her, then it had to be something to do with Ottilie’s pregnancy.
Zoe was well trained to deal with problems, but she always hoped she’d never have to, and she couldn’t deny the heightened sense of urgency rushing over her.
Ottilie was a good friend and a colleague, after all.
Not only that, but she’d been on high alert ever since the incident with Tegan, despite the logical part of her knowing it had never really been anyone’s fault.
She picked up the bag she’d packed to go out and took it with her as she hurried to Ottilie’s room. If she needed any equipment, it was already in there and ready to go.
She knocked lightly at the door but didn’t wait to be called in, assuming Ottilie and Fliss were in there alone.
She was right. Ottilie was sitting in a chair looking ghostly white, and Fliss was taking her pulse.
‘She’s all right, I think,’ Fliss said in her usual brisk manner.
Zoe wasn’t so sure.
‘It’s only a bit of dizziness,’ Ottilie said. ‘I got up too fast or something.’
‘I’ve checked her over for the obvious,’ Fliss said, already making her way towards the door. ‘I’ll leave her in your capable hands, Zoe. If you think she needs to go home, let Lavender know.’
‘But I have a full clinic—’ Ottilie began, to be shot down immediately by Fliss.
‘I doubt you’ll be much use here if you’re not fit, full clinic or not.
If the worst comes to the worst, Simon and I will share your patients out and try to get them seen somehow.
I would imagine that Lavender may be able to reschedule some of them too.
We’d manage, and I’d rather you act early in aid of a speedy recovery than soldier on and end up having to take twice as long off because you’ve overdone things. ’
‘She’s got a point,’ Zoe said as she bent to feel Ottilie’s cheeks.
Fliss left, probably to stop Ottilie from arguing.
‘Have you had enough to eat and drink today?’ Zoe asked.
‘Yes.’
Zoe raised her eyebrows. ‘Honestly?’
‘Yes, honestly. Heath wouldn’t let me leave the house if he hadn’t watched me demolish a full breakfast first.’
‘Hmm. I’ll check your blood pressure…and I know you’ve probably already done it, but I’m going to check again.’
‘Are you going to be like this with everyone now? Because I don’t think I can take it.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Checking and rechecking every time I have a little dizzy spell.’
‘You mean because of…Ottilie, if you weren’t poorly right now, I’d tell you that’s below the belt. You’d know it too, so I’m going to let you off.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Ottilie replied in a weak voice. ‘I just can’t stand the fuss.’
‘You’re pregnant – take advantage of the fuss now because when the baby comes, everyone’s attention will soon switch. You’ll long for the days when people fussed over you.’
Ottilie offered her arm without further argument, and Zoe checked her blood pressure.
‘Not too much to worry about there,’ she said. ‘A bit on the low side, but it’s all right. If I phoned Heath, would you let him take you to the hospital for a check-up?’
‘No.’
‘Good. I’ll phone him anyway.’
‘Zoe—’
‘Humour me,’ Zoe cut in. ‘If the tables were turned, you’d be doing the same.’
‘I’ll be there for hours. What about clinic?’
‘Are you well enough to see patients right now?’
‘Not right at this minute, but?—’
‘So there’s no point in you being here anyway. You heard Fliss – she’s happy to work with Lavender to get the rest of your patients seen. Depending on what the hospital says, I’m sure you’ll be back in tomorrow, and you can catch up then.’
‘Fine.’ Ottilie rested her hands on the desk and laid her head on them. ‘Phone Heath. I don’t know how close to home he’ll be, though.’
‘If he’s too far out, I’ll get an ambulance.’
‘No!’ Ottilie’s head shot up again, and she grimaced, clutching at it. ‘Don’t do that to me.’
‘We’ll find some way to get you there. I’d rather be safe than sorry. I’ve got a home visit this afternoon, but I could always put her off and take you myself.’
The fact that Ottilie didn’t argue with this plan was proof enough to Zoe that she felt worse than she’d admit to.
On a more positive note, the ghastly shade she’d been when Zoe had first come in was definitely clearing to a healthier colour.
Pregnancy was a funny thing, and events that would have signalled serious illness to anyone else would often turn out to be a blip in a pregnant woman.
The flipside of that was it paid to take everything seriously anyway – there was the well-being of more than one person at risk.
‘Have you got Heath’s number to hand?’ she asked.
Ottilie reached for her phone and unlocked it before handing it to Zoe. ‘It’ll likely be on my most recent calls. I’ll let you break the good news to him.’
Zoe dialled and was relieved to hear him answer within a few rings.
‘Hey, gorgeous, what did you want?’
‘Heath, it’s Zoe.’
His tone was immediately sharper. ‘Zoe…what’s wrong?’
‘There’s no need to panic, but are you free right now?’
‘I can be.’
‘How close by are you?’
‘I’m close enough. What’s happened?’
‘Ottilie’s not well, and I’d rather she got a full check-up at the hospital. Can you take her?’
‘To the maternity unit?’
‘Yes, I’ll phone ahead and let them know you’re coming.’
‘I’m on my way.’
‘I still say it’s a fuss about nothing.’ Ottilie took her phone back.
‘But you don’t really think that, otherwise you wouldn’t have let me call Heath.’
‘Only because…’ Ottilie’s voice shrank. ‘Only because I’ve never done this before and I don’t know what to expect. And I know you’re looking out for me because…’
‘You know I don’t want what happened to me to happen to you. It’s all right – you can say it. I don’t want anyone to go through that. I’m not so stupid that I think it will never happen to any of my expectant mums, but it’s still so hard to see when it does.’
‘That’s why you took Tegan’s loss so hard?’
‘It never gets easier. I remember one of the old midwives when I was training saying it didn’t get easier, but you learned to shut it out.
I think I’d got to that point before I lost my own, and then…
well, it became harder because I knew what it was like.
When I hadn’t known I could treat it as part of the job, but after…
Anyway…’ Zoe took a deep breath and pushed a smile across her face.
‘You’re going to be fine, so I don’t want you to worry. ’
An hour before the working day was due to end, Zoe received two messages.
One was from Ottilie telling her everything was OK and she’d be coming to work the following day as normal.
Apparently, Fliss hadn’t been happy with the plan and had ordered Ottilie to take the rest of the week off and rest, an order which Ottilie fully intended to ignore, now that she’d been given the all-clear.
The second was a general notification from the ultrasound clinic at the hospital.
‘Oh, Billie…’ Zoe murmured as she read it. She dialled Billie’s number but got no answer. Then she tried Alex, who picked up after a few rings and pre-empted her question.
‘Yes, she’s here,’ he began with a tone of desperation. ‘And I know why you want to talk to her because I know she didn’t go to her ultrasound. She told me she had a headache and didn’t want to leave the house. I said she needed to reschedule her appointment…Didn’t she do that?’
‘She didn’t,’ Zoe said patiently. ‘I’m happy to do it for her if she’s not feeling up to it.’
‘Thanks – we’d really appreciate that. I mean, I could, but I don’t think I’m allowed…am I?’
‘Listen, don’t worry, I’ll do it. But could you do me a favour? If the same happens again with the new appointment, and she gives a reason not to go, could you give me a call?’
‘Yes, but?—’
‘I know it’s probably me sticking my nose in a bit too far, but I’d like to know. I might be able to help, and she does really need to attend for the scan.’
‘I didn’t mean that. I just don’t know what you can do.’
‘I can come and talk to her, to find out if there’s something more than a headache going on.’
Alex sighed deeply. ‘Good luck with that because she won’t even talk to me these days.’
‘You’re a man and her dad – she might feel you won’t be able to understand. It might be easier for her to talk to me.’
‘I could ask her to phone you now. She’s watching television.’
‘I tried to call a minute ago and she didn’t pick up. I’ll try her again.’
‘That’s OK. Let me go and tell her you’ll be phoning so she knows to look out for the call.’
‘Thanks, Alex. I’ll give it a couple of minutes – it’ll give me time to get another appointment for her – and then I’ll try her again.’
Zoe did exactly that. She managed to find another slot on the system for Billie’s new appointment, one that had been made vacant by a last-minute cancellation for the following day.
In the hopes that it would be all right, she snagged it and then tried to call Billie’s number to let her know.
Once again, Billie didn’t answer. She decided to text Billie the details, and then wondered whether she ought to send them to Alex too, so that he could make sure to get her there.
Was that crossing a line? Professionally, it was a very grey area, and she wasn’t meant to share details in that way, but she reasoned that if a letter had gone to the house, he may well have intercepted it anyway.
Wasn’t this sort of the same? And if it meant Billie going to the appointment, perhaps it was worth a little bending of the rules.
Without further consideration, she did just that.
She’d dealt with women who weren’t exactly over the moon about their pregnancies before, of course.
Not all were planned, and not every pregnancy was enjoyed, but Billie’s case still bothered her.
She had a feeling that Billie wanted her baby, but she was afraid of her future and she was still wedded to the past, and a possible future that had once existed but that she could now never have.
As far as Zoe could tell, Billie was not only mourning the death of her boyfriend – the baby’s father – but the death of the future they could have had as a family.
And now she had to face that future alone, with the child who was a constant reminder of what she’d lost. She’d love the baby – Zoe felt certain of that – but it was easy to see why her love would be more complicated than it might be for other new mums.
A minute later, Alex replied to say he’d ensure Billie attended the ultrasound.
Happy she’d done as much as she could, Zoe put it out of her mind as she cleared down for the day and got ready to go home.