Chapter 16
One of the parts Zoe enjoyed most about her job was when she got to visit newborns to see how baby and mum were doing.
She didn’t have a lot of contact with them, but she was always there in the first few weeks to keep tabs on the little one’s development and make sure mum was recovering well from the birth.
It was so rewarding when all was well, and Zoe liked to think her small contribution during the pregnancy had made a difference.
The weather was damp, the verges becoming littered with leaves of fading golds and ambers, and what was still on the trees was ochre and scarlet in the morning sun.
Zoe hummed softly along to a tune on the radio as she drove out of Thimblebury towards a neighbouring village where she was scheduled to meet Nadya and baby Musa.
Nadya hadn’t been in her care for the entire pregnancy, having been looked after before Zoe’s arrival by a rotating team that were based with the area’s health authority.
When Zoe had taken over, the young mum expecting her first child had been delighted to finally get consistent care from one person, even if it was a little late in the day, and Zoe had loved seeing her.
The pregnancy had progressed like a dream, and baby had been born without complications at a healthy nine pounds during the early hours of the previous Saturday.
Twenty minutes later, she pulled up outside a modest, newly built cottage and gathered her things before going to the front door. She knocked softly in case baby Musa was asleep, though with enough force to hopefully alert Nadya to her arrival.
During her training, Zoe had worked with an old midwife who’d insisted on hammering at every front door, stating that the baby had to get used to noise and learn to sleep through it, otherwise it would be a restless sleeper for the remainder of his or her life.
While Zoe had swallowed every bit of advice and logic from the more experienced woman, she’d come to her own conclusions over the years that her theory was a bit rubbish.
In Zoe’s opinion, motherhood with a newborn was exhausting enough without waking the poor woman’s baby when she’d finally got it off to sleep.
She might have to, of course, to do her checks, but even then, there was a chance the little one would sleep through being picked up and weighed and measured if they were tired enough, and Zoe could sneak away and leave mum to enjoy a few more precious moments of peace.
Nadya opened the door looking tired and dishevelled, but broke into a broad smile at the sight of her midwife.
‘Hello, mummy,’ Zoe said brightly. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Not too bad,’ Nadya said, ushering her in. ‘My mother-in-law has been here for a couple of days, so she’s been helping with Musa.
‘So that’s a gold star for mother-in-law,’ Zoe said. She followed Nadya into the living room where an older lady was cradling the baby as his eyes drooped for sleep. Zoe went over to take a look. ‘Aww, he’s a little cutie, isn’t he? Look at all that hair already! Is he being good for you?’
‘Very,’ Nadya’s mother-in-law said. ‘He’s our little prince, isn’t he, Nadya?’
Nadya’s warm smile spread. Zoe was glad to see that Nadya had plenty of support from someone she clearly liked. As she understood it, Nadya’s mother lived abroad and was ill at that time, and so it seemed her mother-in-law had taken up the responsibility of helping out the new parents.
‘I hate to deprive you,’ Zoe said, taking out her scales, ‘but I’m afraid I do need to take him from you for a few moments.’
Nadya’s mother-in-law gently handed him to Zoe, who scooped him into her arms. No matter how many babies she held like this, she never tired of the feeling, of the happiness, the unique and wonderful smell of a newborn, the little faces they pulled as they gazed up at her or sought sleep.
She smiled down at him, all that warmth flooding back, as it always did.
‘Sorry about this, poppet,’ she said, placing him on the scales. He grumbled, but he didn’t cry, and after recording his weight and then giving him a brief once-over, she looked up. ‘Don’t fight – who wants him?’
‘I’ll take him,’ Nadya’s mother-in-law said, and Nadya simply grinned.
‘I can barely get a look in.’
‘Take advantage of the help while it’s here,’ Zoe said. ‘How are you feeling? Recovering from the birth OK? Nothing worrying you?’
‘I think I’m all right,’ Nadya said. ‘Tired all the time, but that’s it.’
‘That’s to be expected. Like I said, take advantage of the help when it’s here, rest when Musa rests; even if you look around the house and think things need cleaning, resist the urge.
There’s plenty of time to have a neat house, but this isn’t it.
All that will wait; enjoy getting to know your son. ’
‘I will,’ Nadya said.
‘I’ll make sure she doesn’t overdo things,’ her mother-in-law said.
Zoe gave a nod of approval. ‘I’m glad to see it.’
Zoe was packing up her equipment, chatting to Nadya and her mother-in-law, when she became dimly aware of her phone pinging the arrival of a text message.
But it slipped her mind, only coming to her attention again as she drove the road back to Thimblebury and started to run through a mental list of all that she had left on her to-do list for the day.
Back in the office, she completed her notes for the home visits she’d made and then checked her phone to see that the message was from Alex.
Even if he hadn’t told her about Billie’s refusal to go to her scan, she would have seen the second notification from the hospital before the end of the day anyway.
She let out a sigh, though this time it wasn’t sympathy for the young woman but exasperation.
There was only so much Zoe could do for her.
If Billie wanted the best care for her baby, then she had to make the effort.
Despite knowing all this, there was no way Zoe could ignore what was going on. Aside from concern for the baby, she was worried about the impact Billie’s neglect might have on her own health, so she certainly wasn’t going to leave Billie to decide whether she took care of herself or not.
She was about to phone when she realised that phoning was no good.
Billie hadn’t wanted to talk to her the last time she’d failed to attend her hospital appointment, and there was no reason to suppose this time would be any different.
It was out of her remit, yes, above and beyond the call of duty, and some might even say meddling further than was polite, but Zoe was going to go up there and see Billie face to face.
One way or another, she needed to make her understand how important these appointments were.
If anything happened to Billie or the baby and Zoe had done nothing, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself, and so whether it was beyond her professional remit or not, the first place she was going after she packed up for the day was Hilltop Farm.
She messaged Alex to check that someone would be home, wrapped up the day’s loose ends and then headed out.
‘Hi.’ Alex seemed tense as he opened the door to her.
He managed a courteous smile and nod, but his movements as he stepped back to let her in were taut and anxious.
‘I haven’t told her you’re coming. Should I have done?
I thought she might make an excuse to go out so she wouldn’t have to see you, so… ’
‘That’s your call,’ Zoe said. ‘I do think it’s important I see her, but it’s a free country, and if she’d wanted to go out, then it would have been her prerogative. But if she’s in, that’s good. Hopefully, she won’t try to climb out of a window when she sees me.’
Zoe had kept her uniform on, partly because she’d come straight from work, and partly because this felt like work and it seemed a good idea to clearly mark that this was a professional visit.
Alex gestured to the closed living-room door.
Zoe could hear the sounds of the television coming from the other side.
It sounded like a quiz show or something, and Zoe suspected that Billie wasn’t really watching it, only distracting herself from having to acknowledge her current situation.
She knew this because she’d done it often enough herself during tough times, and the last year or so hadn’t been short of those.
Knocking softly, she waited for a second and then went in.
Billie was curled up under a blanket on the sofa. As Zoe suspected, she didn’t appear to be watching the television because she had her phone in her hand.
She looked up from it as Zoe walked in. ‘Oh,’ she said in a dull voice.
‘You can guess why I’m here,’ Zoe said.
‘Not really,’ Billie replied, going back to her phone, but Zoe knew better than to believe that.
Zoe took a seat on an armchair and took off her coat. ‘Do you mind if we turn the telly off for a minute?’
‘If you want.’
Zoe looked for the remote control but couldn’t see it. Billie watched her for a moment before turning her attention back to her phone.
‘Could you help me out here?’ Zoe asked. Then Billie rummaged in the folds of her blanket and offered up the remote. ‘Thanks,’ Zoe said before switching it off, the room suddenly quiet.
‘Where’s Dad?’ Billie asked.
‘I don’t know. He let me in, but I don’t know where he is now. Would you be happier if he was here with us?’
‘It doesn’t really matter. I wasn’t very well.’
‘I’m guessing that must have been the case, otherwise you’d have gone to your ultrasound, right?’
‘Yeah. But I wasn’t up to going.’
Zoe put the remote to one side and leaned in. ‘Not up to it here?’ she asked gently, pointing to her head. ‘Or here?’ She pointed to her heart. ‘Or were you really just sick? Whichever one it is, it’s all right to say so. We can work with any of them.’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’