Chapter 18
‘I’m so sorry, we’ve got plans already. We’re taking Flo to Kendal, and if we cancel, she’ll never forgive us.’
Ottilie picked up a teacloth and began to dry the mugs on the draining board, while Lavender swept the floor of the surgery kitchen.
The air was still heavy with the spices of the Goan curry they’d shared for lunch, Zoe pleasantly full but slightly concerned about the effect that breathing on anyone during clinic might have on them.
She suspected she might smell very garlicky about now, though she’d eat it all over again if she had the chance.
‘It’s OK.’ Zoe’s smile was perhaps more forlorn than she’d meant it to be because Ottilie grimaced at the sight of it.
‘Honestly, I would if I could. Can’t you ask Ritchie to come another day, one we can do?’
‘I don’t know why you’re having him over at all,’ Lavender cut in. ‘Tell him you can’t do it and leave it at that – you’re not married now, so you don’t owe him anything.’
‘I know, but I want to stay civil,’ Zoe said.
‘What for? It’s not like you have kids or anything, so there’s no reason you have to stay in touch. Move on – that’s what everyone else does.’
Zoe tried not to let the sting of Lavender’s careless comment bother her. It wasn’t her fault – Zoe hadn’t told her about the baby she’d lost. ‘It’s what we agreed,’ she said. ‘He wanted to stay friends, and he’s in a tough place right now.’
‘Aren’t we all?’ Lavender pushed the broom around the floor, oblivious to the look of warning coming from Ottilie. But Zoe saw it and then caught Ottilie’s eye. She mouthed an apology, and Zoe shook her head to let her know it wasn’t a problem.
‘I’m sure it’ll be fine anyway. I’ll make some lunch, we’ll have a quick chat over it and then I’ll send him on his way.’
‘Watch he doesn’t try to move in,’ Lavender called from the far side of the kitchen. ‘Sounds to me like that’s what he’s after.’
‘It’s not like that,’ Zoe said. ‘He needs a bit of support right now, that’s all.’
‘I’d better get back to my room,’ Ottilie said. ‘Sorry I couldn’t help you out, Zoe.’
‘It’s really fine; forget about it.’
‘Want me to come?’ Zoe turned to see Lavender wearing an expression of mischief. ‘I can put him off coming for lunch ever again – say the word.’
Zoe smiled, a more genuine one now. ‘Tempting as that is, I’m going to say no thanks.’
‘Your loss.’ Lavender started to sweep the little pile of dust into the pan. ‘Just saying.’
Zoe’s smile grew. ‘I’d better get to clinic myself. See you later.’
‘Think about it!’ Lavender called as Zoe left the kitchen. ‘If you change your mind, I work for reasonable fees!’
‘Hello, Maisie.’
Zoe held open the door for the young woman to come through to her room and then closed it again. ‘Is everything all right? I’m not due to see you for a little while, am I? Unless I’ve got my dates mixed up…’
‘I don’t think so, but I…well, I couldn’t feel the baby moving so I wanted to ask. Someone told me it was supposed to move, but I haven’t felt anything.’
Zoe briefly checked her notes. ‘You won’t – it’s a bit early yet. You might get a little feeling almost like trapped wind, but you wouldn’t be able to tell what it is. I can have a listen to baby’s heart and give you the once-over if you like. You’re here anyway, so it wouldn’t be a problem.’
‘So it doesn’t kick yet?’
‘He’ll be moving about, but too small for you to feel it yet. Don’t worry, it won’t be long before you’ll have little feet and elbows bothering you all night.’
‘Oh, because my nana said…’
‘I’m sure it’s a while since your nana had her babies, and we tend to forget the details. It might be best if you take advice with a pinch of salt, however well meant it is. You did the right thing coming to see me. Why don’t you get comfy on the couch and I’ll have a look at you?’
‘Mum says I’m eating too much.’ Maisie settled on the examination table and looked up at the ceiling while Zoe warmed her hands to feel at her tiny bump. ‘She says they say you should eat for two, but it’s not true. She says everyone will start to notice I’m pregnant if I get fat.’
‘You’re far from fat.’ Zoe frowned as she moved her hands gently across Maisie’s belly. ‘Are you eating healthy food?’
‘I think so. Sometimes it’s hard because we don’t have vegetables in.’
‘You don’t even have a bag of peas in the freezer?’
‘I don’t like peas.’
‘What do you like?’
‘Um…I don’t really like vegetables.’
‘Nothing at all?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘How about something like guacamole? Or salsa? Do you like things like that?’
Maisie nodded. ‘I have those sometimes when we go to Nando’s.’
‘Eat things like that then, as long as you can get them fresh. It’s as good as plain veg.’
‘Fresh?’
‘Can you make them from scratch?’
‘I don’t think so. I don’t know how.’
‘I could give you some recipes.’
‘I don’t know if Mum would buy the stuff.’
‘But you could.’ Zoe went to get her stethoscope. ‘It’s not hard. It’ll be good practice for if you decide to make your own baby food too. Do you cook at all?’
‘I can do pizza. And chips and burgers and nuggets.’
‘I suppose those are the things your mum buys in?’
Maisie nodded. ‘Shouldn’t I eat them? I know I was told about eggs, but…’
‘In moderation those things are fine. But if you’re finding you’re hungry a lot more often, it might help to eat things that are a bit more nutritious. Doing that will mean you keep your weight healthy without going hungry. Do you see?’
‘So what should I tell Mum to buy?’
‘I’m not going to tell you how to do your shopping – that’s up to you and your mum.’
‘But what should I eat so I don’t get fat?’
‘Maisie…’ Zoe folded the stethoscope back into its case. ‘You’re pregnant. Your body is going to change no matter what you do, and that’s all right – that’s part of nature’s way. Your mum will know this because hers will have changed when she had you.’
‘She always says it’s my fault she lost her figure.’
‘I wouldn’t go that far, but some women do find it hard to get back to their old shape. And then some women snap back as if they never had a baby in the first place. But whether you can see them or not, there will be changes. You’ve got to accept that because trying to fight it will drive you mad.’
‘Mum says I’ll be sorry if I let myself go.’
Zoe tried not to show her disapproval. ‘Sit up; we’re all done.
Everything is absolutely fine as far as I can see.
Hang on…’ She went to her filing cabinet and took out some pamphlets.
‘These have lots of advice around eating and some easy things for you to cook. No matter what your mum says, you need to feed your baby well, and you can only do that if you’re eating well.
So eat what and when your body tells you to and you won’t go far wrong.
However…I would try to lay off the ultra-processed food a bit.
I know it’s hard if that’s what comes in with the shopping, but perhaps you might want to go out and do a bit of shopping of your own, just for you, if you can manage it. ’
‘I don’t know if Mum will like that.’ Maisie looked at the pamphlets and then back at Zoe. ‘Thanks. So if I eat these things, I won’t get fat?’
Zoe gave a taut smile. ‘You won’t get unhealthy . Getting a little fat while you’re pregnant isn’t a bad thing. You really shouldn’t worry about it. If you eat well, you’ll lose any weight you gain when the baby is born.’
‘OK.’ Maisie got off the treatment table and pushed her feet back into trainers she hadn’t undone. ‘I’ll tell Mum what you said.’
Zoe wondered whether what she’d said would reach Maisie’s mum exactly how she’d said it, or how much would be lost in translation.
And Maisie was quite old enough to make her own decisions about her pregnancy.
At times like these, Zoe wished she could have a quiet word with mums and nanas and aunts and all the other women who were queuing up to give outdated or unhelpful advice and tell them to butt out.
In fact, it was becoming a regular little fantasy, one that she’d sadly never be able to indulge.
‘You’re happy now?’ Zoe asked. ‘Nothing else is worrying you?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘You know where I am if you think of anything you want to ask.’
She saw Maisie out and straightened up before calling the last appointment of the day through.
Saturday was mild but gusty. Zoe had been down to the shop to get a few last-minute things for lunch with Ritchie the following day and had been quizzed by Magnus on her social life.
What he really wanted to know was why she didn’t attend film club; it was clear that he could see no reason why she wouldn’t.
She was passing by Daffodil Farm when she saw Victor coming out of the gate.
‘Morning!’ he called. ‘You’re up and about early – your bed on fire?’
‘It’s not that early!’ Zoe replied, laughing as she went over to have a proper word. ‘And you’re up.’
‘But I’m a farmer. If I wasn’t, I’d sleep the clock round.’
Zoe glanced down to see Victor had what looked like his metal detector with him. ‘Are you going over to Hilltop with that?’
Victor beamed. ‘I am. Hope it’s worth my while.’
‘It’ll be fun even if you don’t find anything.’
‘He’s a nice fella, that Alex. I used to get on all right with Ann’s other half before he died, but he could be a bit up and down. I think Alex will be a good neighbour. How are you doing over there in Kestrel Cottage? Does it feel like home now?’
‘It’s getting there,’ Zoe said. ‘I mean, it’s a lovely little house and I’m grateful…’
‘Of course, but it’s all new for you here.’
‘Not so much now, thank goodness. I’m getting used to the pace, but it seemed ridiculously quiet at first. So are you going over to do your detecting now?’
‘I’ve got to go and see to the girls first. Come over with me if you like – say hello. They love visitors.’
‘I’ve got my shopping to take home?—’
‘I’ll wait if you want to drop it in and come back. No bother.’