Chapter 2
Chapter Two
I hold tightly to him, and I do all I can not to let my mind run away from me. It’s pretty damned difficult to accomplish that under the circumstances. I still feel so stretched with his cock so deep inside of me. (All right, I have no real frame of reference here so maybe his cock is just normally deep inside of me. I don’t know. I don’t know if it matters. It feels pretty damned deep.)
I don’t want him to pull out. I mean, I know that’s what normally happens after sex but I want him to stay inside of me for at least a little bit. I don’t know if I’m allowed to ask for that or not. Wow. What a stupid thing for me to say. Of course, I’m allowed to ask. I have a voice and I get a say over how sex happens. What I mean is that I don’t know if it will make me seem like an inexperienced idiot if I ask for it.
The good news is that my legs are still wrapped around him and he’s making no move to physically pull them apart. So, I cling to him with both my arms and legs, kiss his neck and shoulders and face, and just enjoy the moment.
I look at the screen. That seems good enough for government work. Oh, that’s another saying like pretty damned or ass over teacups . I know this one came from my Uncle Steve, though. He’s a fantastic man, one of the strongest and most honorable men I can even imagine. He used to drop by to check on Mom and me since my dad passed. Whenever he would fix something around the house, he would wink at me afterward and say, “Good enough for government work.”
He didn’t work for the government although I guess he sort of did when he was in the Navy.
Wow. My mind is just going everywhere. It’s because I’m reliving my time with the professor. I’m reliving my time with him and I’m all worked up. It was more than a year ago but it’s still so fresh in my mind, you know. Well, of course, it is. A girl loses her virginity, and that first time will always be the most important time, right?
Well, since it’s still the only time for me, I guess that means it’s definitely the most important time.
I close my journal. And stand up to stretch. For the last eight months or so, I’ve been journaling ten minutes a day, whatever comes to mind. Since my career work is all mathematics and accounting, journaling is the only creativity I get at all. Since back in college, I battled between a creative career and the numbers I love, it’s good to enjoy the time. Anyway, whenever I have complete writer’s block, I write about my time with Dr. Denmark. So far, I think I’ve written about the night I lost my virginity seven or eight times, which is about forty days’ worth of journaling since I start from the beginning and do ten minutes a day until the whole episode is complete.
Yeah, I’m still hung up on him.
And it’s not just romantic schoolgirl feelings about the man who took my virginity. I have ties to him that go deeper than that. Well, I have one specific tie to him. It’s time to check on her. Actually, I don’t really need to check on her because I did ten minutes ago but I want to. I walk away from my desk and across the hall to the bedroom. The bedroom has an attached office. I don’t use it as an office. I make my way to the crib and look at my sleeping daughter.
She looks like her father, I think. Of course, I think that, right? Multiple choice is a lot easier when a, b, c, and d all have the same answer. I guess you could say the same if there’s an e with all of the above .
Yeah. I have a baby, and Dr. Denmark doesn’t even know Allyson exists.
Yes, that makes me a bad person.
All of that comes to a head when I see him at the grocery store one afternoon while my best friend is watching Allyson for me so I can get some shopping done.
Yeah, he’s just there!