Chapter Fourteen
Grace finished cutting the potatoes and dropped them into the pot of boiling water just as Hannah added the carrots.
This stew would be mostly vegetables and water, but Grace supposed they ought to count themselves fortunate that the vegetables had not rotted with all the rain.
The bread had not been so fortunate; the dampness from the persistent rain had caused green and black mold to overtake most of it, which had led to a fierce discussion among Amos and a few of the men over whether it was safe to eat.
“At least we have made progress again,” Hannah said. “I thought it would never stop raining.”
Grace hummed in agreement and sprinkled in some parsley.
“Perhaps a bit of butter?” Hannah suggested.
They had only a little butter left, and even less so after the rations were distributed more evenly amongst the three groups.
Grace wondered what Ethan’s plan was for restocking their supplies, but she had not asked.
She wasn’t sure there was a plan, and if that was so, she didn’t wish to know. It wouldn’t change anything.
“You are quiet this evening,” Hannah noted. “Did something happen?”
Grace sighed. “Nothing unusual. I apologize if I’ve worried you, but I’m just…I’m thinking.”
“What’s the matter?”
Grace glanced around for Emily, trying to keep her daughter in sight as always. She found her right where she’d anticipated, following Ethan around like a lost puppy. “Your brother is the most infuriating man I have ever met in my life.”
Well, maybe not the most infuriating man. That would be Charles, of course, and it wasn’t even a competition between the two of them.
“What has he done now?” Hannah asked.
“I worry that he dislikes me!” Grace exclaimed. “I feel as if he judges everything I do!’
Hannah stirred the stew contemplatively. “I’m sure that isn’t true.”
“No?” Grace asked. “You mean he doesn’t spend-spend-”
“Spend what?”
Grace sighed. “He just— You mean he doesn’t spend hours complaining about how terrible I am?”
Hannah blinked. “Do you think my brother is the kind of man who’d spend all his time complaining about other people?”
Grace groaned and rubbed her face, unsure how to say what she wanted without coming across as frivolous or fickle. “Your brother acts like he hates me, and it bothers me. I suspect that I am the—the worst part of this entire trip for him.”
“You are far from the worst part of this trip,” Hannah said. “Certainly for me, and I’m sure for him as well. Did someone say something to you about Ethan?”
“No,” Grace said, sighing deeply. She wished she hadn’t even mentioned Ethan. What would she do if Hannah, her one friend on the trail, became upset with Grace because she didn’t like her brother?
Hannah’s expression softened. “Grace, my brother barely talks about you at all. If someone’s said something—”
“No one has,” Grace interrupted.
The revelation that Ethan didn’t talk about her at all nipped at Grace’s pride for reasons she didn’t quite understand. She ought to be happy that Ethan wasn’t going around telling everyone how much he disliked her.
“It’s just that everything I do seems to upset him,” Grace clarified. “And I wish that weren’t the case.”
“What do you mean?” Hannah asked. “Can you give me specific examples?”
Grace bit her lip. “I don’t want to upset you.”
Hannah laughed. “You won’t. I know what Ethan is like. Sometimes, he’s simply a difficult man.”
“Earlier today, I was upset because some of my books were ruined,” Grace told her.
“And Ethan just— He was entirely dismissive of my love for reading. I know that he thinks it’s just the silly pastime of a spoiled girl, and I…
I feel like it doesn’t matter what I do.
He believes that I am some sheltered thing who never should have set foot on the trail. ”
Something flickered in Hannah’s expression, a sort of knowing, but about what, Grace couldn’t be sure.
“The books…” Hannah sighed. "He had a hard childhood,” she began.
“And he did not—my brother wasn’t able to really enjoy himself all that often.
I can understand how you would think he was being dismissive because Ethan isn’t always good with words, but I promise he wasn’t trying to be. ”
Hannah’s tone was very deliberate, as though she was choosing her words with great care so as not to reveal too much.
But what was she hiding? Grace thought about her former husband and decided not to press Hannah for answers.
Maybe someday Hannah would trust her enough to willingly share her secrets without Grace having to ask.
Grace sighed. “I see.”
“Now, maybe some rosemary?” Hannah suggested, returning their attention to the stew once more.
Grace nodded and retrieved the bundle of dried herbs.
She selected a few sprigs and dropped them into the pot while Hannah continued to stir.
The potatoes and carrots were beginning to soften nicely, and the warm, aromatic scent of butter and herbs filled Grace’s nose. Her stomach rumbled in anticipation.
“He’s also very guarded,” added Hannah, returning to the subject of her brother. “I think that Ethan’s a very thoughtful man, but he’d rather be shot than let anyone know that. I am sorry that he’s hurt your feelings. Truly, Grace.”
Grace grimaced. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, Hannah.”
“I know, and you didn’t,” said Hannah. “I just don’t want you to worry that Ethan hates you. I promise he doesn’t. You’re a good woman, and a good friend to me. Even if Ethan doesn’t always express his thoughts very eloquently, you do belong here. I believe that, and I promise he does, too.”
Grace smiled. Warmth filled her at the sincerity in Hannah’s voice.
Maybe Hannah was right about Oregon. Maybe they really would continue being friends once they had arrived.
A wave of longing for her friends back in Lexington rose within her.
While Grace had disliked all the gossip from the folks in town, she did long for the friends she had lost during her marriage, and their lazy Sundays spent together socializing and planning charity events.
“We’re nearly finished with this,” Hannah said. “Will you tell Ethan and Derek that it’s time to eat?”
“Of course,” Grace said.
“And if Ethan upsets you again, please tell me.”
Warmth rushed to Grace’s face. “If he upsets me again, I should probably speak about it with him, really.”
“That would probably be best. Why didn’t you before?”
“Because if he did dislike me, I doubt he’d take kindly to me letting him know that he upset me,” Grace pointed out. “But if you say he doesn’t harbor any ill will toward me, then…well, you know him much better than I do.”
Hannah grinned. “So I do.”
Ethan didn’t hate her, according to his sister, who knew him better than anyone.
Apparently, he was just a slightly awkward man who had a hard time expressing himself.
Her heart soared. Ethan cared about Emily, and he continued to help her along the trail.
Hope bloomed inside Grace, bursting to life. They could be friends.
Grace could live with a man who was decent but awkward. She would simply try to be a little more patient with him. And more forgiving, too.