Chapter 36
I’m out of Sasha’s car before she has even turned off the engine. We had to park so far back that all I can hear of the party is a faint bass line and the occasional voice shouting along so badly that it could be any song.
I wait until two sets of footsteps crunch on the gravel behind me before I lay out my plan. “Okay, so we find Olli, make sure no one’s tearing his head off, we grab the idiot, and then head home again. Cool?” Despite the joyful buzz hanging in the warm evening air, my stomach is in knots.
On the way here, Vince was visibly disappointed when I told him about Olli’s history with the frat. My brain, however, goes straight back to the beach volleyball tournament a few weeks ago and those frat guys spitting in the sand, nearly getting in our faces—just because Olli and I had won.
And then there’s Olli’s dark grimace when I mentioned Davenport just a few days ago, floating before my inner eye.
It makes the scene feel a lot more ominous than a beach party has any business being especially since we haven’t even made it to the beach yet, blocked by the small forest that separates the parking lot from the lakeside.
Only hints of what's waiting for us come through: the drifting sparks of a bonfire rising above the treetops like confused fireflies, loud singing and laughing, and the occasional stragglers who are either on the hunt for a private spot or returning to the bustle of the party after having their fun.
I take conscious, deep breaths of the forest air as we’re hurrying through, hoping that its cool and damp tones will stick to me and save me from the heat that blasts into my face as soon as we make it out into the light of the party.
From all around, the Greek letters of Kappa Nu are shining at us; stitched on polo shirts with popped collars, painted on naked skin, and outlined in string lights.
Olli really should be smart enough to know that this was enemy territory to him since he had been banned from all official Kappa Nu parties last year.
“Hey, I agree with finding Olli, but why not have some fun while we’re here?
I’m sure he’ll turn up eventually.” Vince cranes his neck, looking around.
With his height, he’s able to look over almost everyone’s head to take in the full spectacle that I can only guess at.
It must be immense, the huge bonfire of which I can only see sparks flying up into the dark sky, the people dancing to the overly loud music, and somewhere, the origin of all those red plastic cups.
I’m a little envious of Vince's height and the fact that to him, this is just a party.
“Because,” I start, squeezing past a circle of people who are taking turns doing handstands on a keg. “I don’t want my friend to get punched.”
“Who says he’s getting punched?”
“Are you sure you know Olli?”
“Of course I know hi—”
“Then you should know he’s a dramatic bitch if there’s ever been one.” Sasha’s voice is kept on a tight leash, her eyes scanning the crowd like a hawk chasing a mouse.
Relief rushes through me that someone shares my worry and I’m not just making everyone crazy for no reason—then Sasha raises a hand and pushes past me.
“Let's split up and meet back at the car in an hour.” She easily picks her way out of the trees and down the sandy slopes to where a group of girls is dancing at the edge of a crowd. I lose sight of them just as Sasha sweeps a redhead into a hug.
“...I guess we're doing that then,” I mutter, drawing up my shoulders.
“Cool with me.” Vince speeds up his steps. The crowd swallows him up quickly and seamlessly.
I'm left behind, feeling lost in a maze of people without any sense of direction. Even the music is louder all of a sudden.
These kinds of parties are something I have always wanted to be invited to.
They are what I imagined would be part of a proper college experience.
I should have known that I’d feel like an intruder—uninterested in drinking, worried about looking stupid while dancing, and therefore avoiding it, paranoid that everyone knows that I don’t belong.
I huff, shaking my head. None of that is important. Right now, I only want to find Olli and make sure he's okay, and then go back home and wait for Micah just like I said.
Digging my phone out of my pocket, I turn to the huge bonfire, figuring it's the best place to start.
I try Olli's number several times, but he doesn't pick up.
My messages from earlier are also still unread.
Pushing my phone back into my pocket, I squeeze past a disorganized mass of people that's crowding the makeshift bar.
“Hey.” I have to shout to be heard over the music. “I’m looking for som—”
“No skipping! You have to go to the back of the line!” the guy I nudged grunts back, barely turning his head to look at me. Even over his shoulder, his breath smells of beer and stronger alcohol.
I bite my tongue so as not to grimace. “I don’t want a drink. I just—”
“Didn’t you hear me? Back. Of the. Line,” he growls. His Greek-letter-polo-wearing friends nod in agreement.
I shake my head but turn around to find someone less concerned about getting their drink.
The music is deafening the closer I get to the bonfire. Mixed with the blazing heat, I can barely breathe from how the bass pounds through me. I speed up when I see a free spot right behind a line of people. However, as soon as I stumble into it, I realize my mistake.
A flock of frat bros is cutting a path through the crowd.
And I’ve just stepped into their way. Like a deer wandering in front of a speeding car, I can only stare.
They form a many-headed monstrosity. Several arms are slung around shoulders, making every man look even bigger. Their grins are grimaces, distorting further when their eyes brush over me.
Where is he? What did you do?!
For a second, I imagine I have the gall to shout at them, but the next, a football player’s elbow finds my side, making me crumble out of the way. I shrink back into the other nobodies who continue their writhing and dry humping once the college royalty has passed.
I’m saved from spiraling into worry by my phone buzzing against my leg. Grasping it tightly, I shoulder my way out of the crowd, ignoring the indignant complaints. I only have eyes for the messages coming in.
5 missd calls?
your riddiculous
comign bak home
My fingers are itching to type out the lecture I want to give. How Olli really shouldn’t be making fun when I was genuinely worried about him. How he’s an idiot for going out by himself in the first place.
However, the dots jump up and disappear and then jump up again, indicating that he’s still typing, so I hesitate.
did sth stupid. Feel terrrbl.
bt dont worry
I tip my head back, wanting to scream.
Why couldn't he have realized sooner that coming here was a terrible idea? And why do I still feel sorry for him?! I don't write any of that, though. Instead, I take a deep breath before tapping at my screen.
I always worry.
Am also at the lake. Wait for me
I exit Olli’s chat and text both Vince and Sasha to meet at the car now, hoping they aren't too busy having fun to check their phones.
If they want to stay after that, maybe I can at least take Olli home with Sasha's car and pick them up later.
As long as everyone gets home safe, I don't mind playing taxi for a night.
On my own, the path through the forest is creepy, but I'm in too much of a hurry to let my tingly nerves hold me up. A few times, I think I've caught up with Olli, but every time it turns out to be a giggling couple or someone relieving themselves behind some bushes.
Finally, the trees are thinning, giving way to the streetlight reflecting off the parked cars. I crane my neck, looking around for—
“Hey, asshole!”
The shout makes me jump. My head whips around, preoccupied with finding the origin rather than my surroundings. I land with one foot on a root, tripping sideways against the tree it belongs to.
My shoulder collides with the rough bark, knocking the wind out of my lungs. A whole carillon of bells goes off in my head. Through the ringing, I barely recognize Olli’s angry snarl.
“’m al-already leavin’! The fuck do you want?”
Someone answers in a derisive hiss, but I can't make out the words. I shake my head to get rid of the remaining high-pitched beep in my ears and stumble onward.
They can't be far away.
I round the first line of cars. This time I can understand the hissing: “Just making sure you stay gone.”
“Yeah.” Another voice, loud, boisterous, less concerned about being overheard than the first one. “Since you didn't take the last warning seriously enough.”
“You weren't ev’n there, you—you fuckin’…fuck.”
“But we are now!”
“And this time it's personal. Putting your hands on our quarterback? Dis-gus-ting.”
“That’s what you're wo-worried ’bout? That ’m contagious? Bein’ this stupid should be fuckin’ illegal.” Olli punctuates his slurring with a laugh, but it's higher than normal, making the hairs on my neck stand on end. I speed up my steps despite the dull throb in my ankle.
“Olli?” I'm too out of breath to raise my voice above a hoarse croak.
Several cars are packed too tightly to squeeze through, and I have to go around, following the voices down to the lake.
“No one wants freaks like you anywhere near them!”
“Davenport said it too. You’re a fucking pervert.”
“Fuckin’—let go!” Olli is shouting now, overpowering the by-now distant music.
“This—” The hissy voice breaks off with a pained grunt.
“You fucking cocksucker!” the other one yells.
Olli cries out, then falls quiet abruptly. Water splashes loudly.
“This is what you get!” the guy with the loud voice barks.
More splashing answers.
The edge of the slope cuts off all light, leaving only the black beach stretching out in front of me. In front of the glistening darkness of the water, two silhouettes are standing in the nothing where sand and water meet.