Chapter 2 Hakara
Hakara
Langzu – the sinkhole mines west of Ruzhi
Sinkhole miners can often be found playing cards and smoking bung-rou on their off time.
It’s a sweet-smelling, pungent herb that gives a person a feeling of floating, of well-being, though it can leave a nasty headache in its wake.
Yes, overuse of it does lead to death, and it decreases the lung capacity of divers, which can also lead to death, but there is such a high fatality rate among miners for just doing the job itself that many of them see this as adding a feather to a brick on the scales of mortality.
I didn’t know where else to hide them.
The familiar smells from the mining tents wafted toward me – the smoke, the latrine ditch, the metallic scent of freshly turned earth.
Heat shimmered the air over the tents, cloth melting into the golden grass of the hills beyond.
The camp was in a midday lull, few people out and about, which suited my purposes perfectly.
The sinkhole mines closer to the Kashani border hadn’t been as productive lately, and most miners, including Guarin, had moved on to this new field west of Ruzhi.
I could feel the tug of Thassir’s presence in my mind, and with it, another tug, desperate and fearful, pulling me onward.
I couldn’t find and sneak up on Lithuas with all the Unanointed in tow, injured and tired.
And I needed to find her. Quickly, before she got too far away and Thassir was no longer able to track her.
I’d never asked Guarin for anything; I’d prided myself on that.
I’d taken every sour word he’d ever thrown at me, shooting back my own rejoinders, working twice as hard as anyone else on the crew.
Even when I’d only been a child, I’d set my jaw and risen to every challenge he’d set me. I hadn’t felt I had any other choice.
Now here I was, ready to ask favors. That was how hard up I was. Couldn’t do it for myself, but maybe I could do it for others.
We were hidden behind a cluster of speckled boulders, their surfaces hot to the touch. A lizard stared back at me from a crack, head tilted, the sun too bright for even his liking. I glanced back at my ragtag band of Unanointed. “All of you stay here. I’ll come back if it’s safe to approach.”
Thassir ruffled his feathers, his expression dark.
“What?” I gave him a long look. “What do you think is going to be more conspicuous – me walking in there by myself, or me walking in there with a giant winged altered? You stay here. These are my people, nothing’s going to happen to me.”
I straightened my belt, my gem pouch conspicuously light, and ducked out from behind the boulders, making for the road. I’d been partially truthful. Sure, sinkhole miners were my people, but that meant they were like me, which meant they were a distrustful, twitchy lot.
Still, it was a shock to walk into a mining camp again, to recognize Guarin’s tent, to see people I knew milling about.
And when I darted past them, head down, and pushed aside the tent flap, it was an even greater shock to see Guarin sitting on a cushion at his table, looking the same as when I’d left him.
It shouldn’t have surprised me. I hadn’t even been away that long.
Was I expecting him to have grown a beard, his eyebrows sprouting new white hairs, his back stooped and worn?
But so much had changed for me. I’d stepped away from this camp and into a completely different life, one where I’d learned my sister didn’t need or want rescuing from me and where I’d tested myself against Kluehnn and bound myself to a god.
Didn’t feel like I quite knew myself yet, but felt like I was starting down a path to understanding.
“Hakara?” The cup in his hand dropped from senseless fingers, and he swore as the hot tea pooled in his lap. He glanced up as he wiped hopelessly at his crotch, making sure I was still there and he hadn’t imagined it.
My eyes felt hot, my throat itchy. I was… crying? And I couldn’t bear the thought. I hated Guarin. He’d always stood in my way.
But then he was rising from his cushion, looking like he’d pissed his pants but not caring. His thick hands gripped my shoulders. Not quite a hug. Never that from him. “You’re alive? I thought… they took you. The godkillers.”
I wiped my tears away with the heel of my hand, hoping he took it for wiping the dust from my eyes.
“They did. Or they tried to. But then I fell in with someone worse.” My tongue felt like a leaden weight in my mouth, but I needed to say it.
“You… it wasn’t you that stopped me from getting to my sister.
It was never your fault.” It was the closest I could come to apologizing.
I supposed we were alike in that manner.
His palms were warm weights on my shoulders, keeping me grounded. The look he gave me was half curious, half pitying. “You found her. Rasha.”
“I did. She’s alive.” I wasn’t sure what more to say.
She wasn’t here with me. She never would be.
She’d chosen a path that led away from me and I’d chosen a path that led away from her.
She had told me, in no uncertain terms, that she blamed me for not coming for her.
And I’d forgiven myself for that, for being just a child, for being weak and unbearably human.
But she couldn’t forgive me, and I still wasn’t sure how to handle that.
“It’s fine. She’s alive. I’m alive. That’s what matters.
” He was still holding me. I pushed his hands away.
I had Lithuas to think about now. I had the Unanointed to think about.
A brow lifted, wrinkling his bald pate. “Is it really?”
“Of course it is.”
He stood there in silence for a while, his gaze boring into me. “So… you spend half your life trying to find your sister, you find her, she doesn’t want you, and that’s all fine with you?” He let out a disbelieving huff. “You’ve always been like this.”
It was easier to feel angry than sad or out of sorts. Anger was an anchor, because when you were angry, at least you were sure you were right about something. “Been like what?”
“Unable to face things. Just running past them. Look at what you’ve blamed me for, year after year.”
Wished I could fit my hands around his stout, thick neck. “You think I’m a coward.” The air in here was marginally cooler, but the words burned coming up my throat.
“What? No. I think you’re a fool. That’s different.”
Figured, that we could only be at peace with one another for the span of twenty breaths. I put up my hands and he flinched. I lowered them. “I didn’t come here to fight.”
“Could have fooled me.”
I forced my breathing to slow. “I’m here to ask for your help.” Gods, how I wished I wasn’t here for that. Here to humble myself before this man who had saved my life but in doing so lost me a sister. “I need your help.”
His eyes narrowed, his chest heaving. “You said you’d fallen in with someone worse than godkillers.
Who in all of Langzu is worse than godkillers?
” His eyebrows shot up as he found the answer to his own question.
“Oh. That would make sense for you, wouldn’t it?
Should have spotted it as soon as you waltzed into my tent. ”
“What in all the realms do you mean by that?”
“You’ve always looked for fights to pick, so why not throw your lot in with the group that’s picked the biggest fight in all of existence? Going up against the one true god. Kluehnn help me, that’s it, isn’t it? You’re not dead. You’re just as close to it as you can get. One of the Unanointed.”
It was my turn to grip Guarin by the shoulders.
“Keep it quiet. We raided a den. It went poorly for both sides. I can explain, but right now, I need a place to stash my fighters. We were betrayed at the highest level, so we can’t use any of the safe houses.
We have to find a new one. And this is the only place I could think of to come. ”
He closed his eyes, briefly, as though searching for some internal strength. “Your fighters. You’re their leader now, aren’t you?”
“Best they could do, pity for them.” I waited as he gathered himself, trying to appear casual, like this didn’t matter at all, when it was everything to me. It was all I had left.
His beady-eyed gaze found mine. We stared at one another until he put a hand to his forehead and rubbed the lines away. “How many of ’em?”
I let out a breath. He was considering it, and I knew if I pressed, he’d agree. The first barrier had been crossed. “Nineteen. That’s all that’s left of the force we took on the raid. It’s a fresh sinkhole field, maybe you can—”
Guarin held up a forestalling hand. “Don’t tell me how to run things.
” His lips pursed. “We can absorb that number. Not enough crews working these sinkholes, and the dens have been pressing the Sovereign for more money to be allocated to mining.” A tap of finger to chin.
“They’d have to mine every so often to keep up appearances. It’s not safe work.”
“Neither is fighting against Kluehnn.”
“And they can attend to those duties and to these?”
I did some mental calculations, went over who we had left, who might be a good diver and who would be good at setting. “We’re still regrouping. They just need some downtime until I can find them another place to go.”
“And you?”
I shook my head. “I have someone else to chase.” Lithuas, bright in the forefront of my mind.
“They can’t stay here forever. I’ll have no problem turning them out if they prove too much trouble or if they stay too long.”
“That’s fine. I’m fine with that.” Always kicking my problems down the road. Not that I had another choice.
A whiff of a breeze and a beam of light as the tent flap opened again. I whirled, expecting a miner, my heart jumping at the thought that it might be Altani, my old partner. Instead, Alifra popped inside. She wasn’t supposed to be here.
“Is there trouble?”
She eyed me. “Maybe. Heard part of your conversation. I couldn’t help but notice your count of people we needed to leave here. And that it included Dashu and me.”
I blew out a disbelieving breath. “You’re checking in on me? When I specifically told you to wait?”
“And you’re planning to take Thassir – only Thassir – who can I remind you we just decided was not trustworthy, and go chasing after a god?”
Guarin’s face was either melting or withering, every feature laden with furrows.
I held up my hand. “It’s not as bad as it sounds.
” I mean, honestly, it was worse than it sounded, but he didn’t need to know that.
Alifra had her hands on her hips, her mouth pressed into a discerning frown. I was reminded, suddenly, of my Maman.
I pushed past my initial urge to dodge that sharp-eyed gaze. “You can’t come with me. The spy network. We’ve only just started reconnecting it, and you’re the best person we have to manage it.”
“And Dashu?”
My lips fumbled. “I don’t know. I suppose I thought of you two as…” As what? One person? I wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence, or how to define them.
Evidently she wasn’t sure either, because spots of color darkened her dusky cheeks. “Someone else can manage the messages and the network.” She must have been real thrown off by my comment, because there was no wry rejoinder following.
“Who? Who have we got left that can do that? They’ve got to be able to manage people, to read and to write.”
I think we all realized it at the same time, our gazes drifting to Guarin just as he lifted his hands, as though his palms could prove a physical barrier against our words.
“I can take in your people and hide them, but manage your spy network? Absolutely not.” Sweat beaded on his upper lip, made his bald pate shine.
Alifra went to the shelf, took a teacup from the stack, and poured herself a steaming helping. “We could pay you,” she said casually.
I tried not to let the question show on my face. With what money?
Guarin took a step back, putting himself neatly into the corner. “If they caught me, I’d be dead.”
I scratched at the back of my neck and felt Alifra’s gaze.
She was handing it off to me. If we pursued Lithuas with our entire team – the bruiser, the arbor, the vine, and the pest – we’d still be small enough in number to sneak up on her.
And if I was being honest with myself, I wanted them along.
Our chances were better. I shrugged. “Well, if you get caught hiding Unanointed, you’d be dead.
They can’t really kill you twice, can they? ”
He sputtered, a hand to his chest. “They could torture me!”
Alifra took a sip of the tea, let out a little sigh, then placed the cup on the table. “Twenty parcels every thirty days, paid after the first thirty days.”
It was a royal sum, and I did my best to keep my expression even, like I knew where the money was coming from.
But Alifra had as good a read on Guarin as I did.
As much as he wanted to stay out of the larger politics of Langzu, as much as he claimed he wanted to keep his head down, I could see now that he genuinely cared about me.
And the money was good. It was better than good.
“I suppose,” he said slowly, with the air of a man convincing himself, “the Sovereign’s enforcers would torture me anyways.
” He pulled a stained handkerchief free from his pocket and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
“Wished you could stay.” He shoved the cloth away and held out a dusty hand.
“You always were my best diver, Hakara.”
I gripped his fingers, feeling the meaty, familiar heft of his palm in mine. It was the only praise he’d ever given me. He was a right bastard, Guarin.
But then again, maybe I was too.