Chapter 15
A month into therapy, and Jamie had decided that occupational therapy was by far his least favorite. The physical therapy felt simple—a few stretches and movements he already did for bike races. Plus, his therapist was a kind, patient Scottish man who told him stories about his daughter.
But, after a stacked month of appointments, Jamie decided that occupational therapy kind of sucked. His therapist, a middle-aged Italian woman named Angelina, made him do really hard word puzzles and memory games.
It made him feel stupid.
He did admittedly have more control over his mind.
Before he started going, he would frequently forget things.
At least in the short term. Put his wallet down, and forget about it a few minutes later.
Make plans with Ellie, and promptly forget about them.
From what he could tell, all of that was becoming less frequent.
The mood swings were definitely worse, though. He couldn’t help feeling frustrated, having to come here, constantly being asked what he remembered, how much he remembered, how he felt.
Did he have a headache? How was he feeling? Tired? Fatigued?
Even Caleb’s kind gestures made him feel like a child. It was nice that he made Jamie coffee every morning, but they always came with a note that said something like: Make sure you rest today! Text me if you feel nauseous or dizzy.
Jesus Christ, he wasn’t bloody dizzy! Randy? Yes. And Caleb coming home sweaty from workouts every night this week wasn’t helping that issue.
Everyone being so careful around him was rubbish, including Caleb. Ever since their date on Valentine’s Day, anytime Jamie initiated contact with him, Caleb excused himself to go to the shops or for a workout. Or sneak out to smoke, even if he thought Jamie was oblivious to it.
A few times, Jamie thought he saw Caleb’s eyes heat up. Or his gaze dip to his lips. A flicker of hope would ignite in his chest that maybe Caleb would kiss him. Just kiss him.
But no. The man stayed far away, slept on the couch, and Jamie wondered why he’d taken him out on Valentine’s Day at all. Did he even want Jamie around—?
“Okay. You are finished,” Angelina announced in her thick accent, sliding Jamie’s paper toward herself. It felt like taking a standardized test.
He stood and packed up his things when she said, “Next Tuesday. Same time, please.”
“Okay.” He nodded and rushed to the Tube as fast as humanly possible.
As soon as Jamie found a seat, he pulled out his book. He loved reading, but—of bloody course—he got headaches if he stared at the pages for too long. Why couldn’t anything just be easy?
It took six minutes of reading for a headache to form. Stuffing his book back into his bag, Jamie closed his eyes and let the simmering frustration in his chest fester until the robotic woman called out his stop. He rushed out the door and headed home.
When he entered the front door, he saw Caleb in the kitchen cutting vegetables.
“Oh, hey,” Caleb called. “I was just going to make a salad and head to the gym. Want me to make you something?”
Hearing Caleb’s deep voice eased some of the tension in Jamie’s chest. “No, thank you. I didn’t know you’d be home already.” His jaw unhinged just looking at Caleb—standing at the counter in a sleeveless shirt, the lines of his triceps working as he cut vegetables. Good Lord.
Trying to be bold, Jamie walked up behind Caleb and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m, erm, glad you’re home.”
Please hug me or something. Anything.
Caleb stiffened. “Yeah, uh, practice ended early.”
“That’s good. I might nap in a bit.” Jamie chewed on his lip. “If you want to… join me?”
Hopefully, he didn’t sound as idiotic as he felt. From the side, he saw Caleb’s throat bob. “Um, I was going to work out.”
“Oh. Okay.” Jamie’s heart dropped. He pulled his hand away and rounded the counter, taking a seat on a stool.
Without looking up from his vegetables, Caleb said, “I picked up the next book in that series you’re reading. Left it on the side table for you.”
It’ll just give me a fucking headache.
“Thank you.”
“How was therapy?” Caleb reached across the counter and squeezed Jamie’s hand. That’s about as much physical contact as they’d had this week. Like a lovesick puppy, Jamie pouted when Caleb pulled his hand back.
“It was okay.”
Caleb frowned. “Just okay?”
“I don’t enjoy occupational therapy. The cognitive and physical are nice, though.” That earned him a smile, so he continued. “And the occupational is definitely helping. It just makes me feel dumb.”
“You are anything but dumb, J.” Caleb rinsed his hands in the sink and wiped them on a dishtowel. Jamie’s eyes tracked the movement. The veins in his forearms flexed and popped as he dried off his hands. For some reason, it made his mouth water and the ache in his chest intensify.
He hated the accident for many reasons, but today, he was angry at the storm of emotions he couldn’t seem to get under control.
Annoyance over having to go to these appointments, frustration for not being able to read, and, let’s face it, horniness.
He was horny as all fuck for the man standing at the counter, getting ready to go to the gym.
And that made him irritated because Caleb didn’t seem horny for him back.
“Do you like the longer sessions still?” Caleb asked.
“I guess.”
Caleb turned, eyebrows pinching together. His eyes roamed to Jamie’s chest and back up, as if he could see the storm brewing inside him.
Jamie clenched his fists, feeling hot tears prickle behind his eyes. If Caleb asked him if he was dizzy or fatigued, he’d probably throw a bloody hissy fit.
“J?” Caleb asked carefully. “Are you—?”
“I’m fine.” Jamie stood and rushed to the bedroom. “I’m just going to take a nap.” The door closed behind him before the first tear fell.
He stripped off his clothes and threw on a pair of boxers, slipping into bed.
It was still light outside, but he was too exhausted to go close the curtains.
There was no use picking up the book on his bedside table since it would just make his headache worse, and he couldn’t wank off to relax, since Caleb was in the next room.
So he closed his eyes and tried to breathe. Another tear fell, and he took a shaky breath to try to stop the tears.
Why couldn’t he get himself under control? He wasn’t even working right now. All he was expected to do was go to therapy and get better. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t an irritable, frustrated person. Ever. So why the hell couldn’t he go back to being himself?
“J?” The door creaked open, and a concerned Caleb stepped into the room. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, bloody hell. I’m okay.” Jamie’s voice cracked, and a rush of tears carved hot streams down his cheeks. “I’m not dizzy. I’m not nauseous.” He squeezed his eyes shut. The foot of the bed dipped, and a pair of hands squeezed his shoulders.
“Hey, hey.” Caleb’s syrupy voice was right next to his ear. “J, it’s okay. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Everything,” Jamie squeaked. “And nothing. I feel—I just feel…”
Angry.
Out of control.
When he opened his eyes, Caleb’s eyebrows pinched together in a frown. “What do you need?”
Jamie wiped his face with the palm of his hand. “I…I—feel so out of control of my emotions all the fucking time.”
“Well, the doctors did say you may experience—”
“I’m sick of doctors.”
Caleb’s eyebrows flew up. “Okay. What can I do, J? Maybe I could get you—”
“I don’t need anything but you, Caleb.” Jamie’s face heated the moment the words slipped from his stupid mouth. It was true, though. Jamie didn’t want people fussing over him anymore. His body craved one thing: the man in front of him.
Caleb’s eyes grew, and he pulled his hands away from Jamie. “You mean like…?”
Jamie swallowed, cheeks heating even more. Caleb flexed his hands in his lap as his eyes trailed from Jamie’s cheeks to his bare chest.
Jamie’s whole body tingled with heat now as Caleb silently studied him. Maybe he was imagining things, but Caleb’s brown eyes seemed to darken in the dim light of their bedroom.
Caleb reached out and placed a tentative hand on Jamie’s hip, thumb grazing the bone there.
“Is this what you want?” Caleb’s sultry voice stirred heat in Jamie’s lower belly.
“Yes,” Jamie breathed, cock jumping to attention. He was suddenly very grateful for the bedsheet covering his lower half.
“What is it?” Caleb leaned closer, eyes flicking down to Jamie’s covered crotch. His eyes danced, as if he knew exactly what was happening beneath the sheets.
“I—well, I—” Jamie’s brain turned to mush as Caleb’s thumb caressed his skin.
“Are you horny, J?” His lips grazed Jamie’s ear as he gave Jamie’s hip a little squeeze. When Jamie’s lips parted, he let out a soft whimper. After a pause, he managed to squeak out a little “yes.”
Fucking hell, he was so randy he might combust. He thought back to every time he came close to pulling Caleb in for a kiss, only to get rejected.
Something felt different now. In Caleb’s dark eyes, there was no hesitancy. Only a pure, smoldering longing. He cataloged every single breath Jamie took.
“Do you need to be…” Caleb’s eyes traced the flush creeping down Jamie’s neck. “...taken care of? Would that help?”
A lust-filled haze swept Jamie as his cock tented the sheets. He swallowed and nodded. If he opened his mouth, he was sure another desperate whine would come out.
Slowly, Caleb slid under the covers and settled behind Jamie, leaning against the headboard. He grabbed Jamie by the hips and settled him smoothly between his legs, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind.
“Fuck,” Caleb breathed against his neck. He dragged a hand down Jamie’s belly, slow and possessive, while the other gently spread his thighs. Jamie let them fall open, breath hitching as Caleb’s hand ghosted over the fabric of his pants.
“You’re so hard,” Caleb groaned, his own cock poking Jamie from behind. “Jesus, J. You really need this, don’t you?”
Jamie nodded again, this time faster. His eyes fluttered shut as Caleb pressed down on his erection with his palm.
“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to keep my hands off you?” His hand snaked underneath Jamie’s pants and wrapped firmly around the soft skin of his cock.
“Missed this.” He gave it a little tug, and Jamie whimpered. “That’s it.” Caleb’s voice was wrecked with heat. Releasing his cock, he reached down and slid Jamie’s pants down to his thighs, and they both watched as his cock bounced out, smacking him in the stomach. “I missed your body, J. Fuck.”
Caleb kissed along the curve of Jamie’s throat as his hands went to work. One hand wrapped around his length and started slowly sliding up and down, while the other reached down and fondled his balls.
“Oh my God,” Jamie whined, squeezing his eyes shut. He’d never done this before, not that he could remember. He’d had a few blowjobs, one very good blowjob from Caleb, but nothing more than that—
“Holy shit, Jamie, you’re close already, aren’t you?
” Caleb slid his hand to the tip and twisted gently, picking up precum along the way.
Right when Jamie thought he might cum, Caleb slowed down, and he fell away from the edge.
Over and over, he worked him up, only to tease him back down.
It was perfect, everything Jamie did when he wanked himself off.
“I know what you like, baby,” he rasped in Jamie’s ear. “I know this cock better than anyone. Let me keep you right here, right on the edge, for just a little longer, okay?”
“Caleb,” Jamie moaned, unable to form sentences. His hips bucked up into Caleb’s hand. “Fuck.” The deep timbre of Caleb’s voice was scrambling his brain.
Jolts of pleasure pulsed to his brain, and his body screamed that it needed more.
Caleb’s other hand gently tugged on his balls, one finger dipping down to swipe the soft skin beneath his arsehole.
Jamie’s back arched on a gasp. Caleb used the access to his neck as an opportunity to kiss beneath his jaw.
“Oh God, please.” The word slipped from Jamie’s mouth, not even knowing what he was begging for. When Caleb touched the rim of his arsehole, he almost lost it.
“You’re desperate for it, aren’t you? So fucking needy for my fingers.” The words were so dirty and hot, but Jamie didn’t have any capacity to feel embarrassed. His mind spun, completely lost in sensation.
The feeling of his hand, tight around his cock, and his finger circling his hole was too much.
Caleb knew Jamie’s body so intimately—exactly how to hold him, how to touch him—and it occurred to Jamie that he didn’t know a bloody thing about Caleb’s.
Shoving the thought away, Jamie focused on how good it felt to have Caleb’s hands on him. It felt heavenly to finally get what his body had been craving.
When Caleb’s finger grazed his hole again, Jamie’s voice broke, “Caleb—”
“Sweetheart, you want my fingers? Is that what you need?”
Jamie whimpered. Cock, his brain supplied. I want your cock. He reached back and groped at Caleb’s erection digging into his back. Holy fuck, he was so hard…
Caleb tensed and peeled Jamie’s hand away. “Not tonight,” he said, kissing Jamie’s temple and gently caressing his arse with the tip of his finger. “Let me take care of you like this, yeah? You just sit here, sweetheart, and come for me.”
He stroked Jamie’s cock harder, his hand blurring, as Jamie climbed higher and higher…
“I’ve missed watching you like this.”
When Caleb’s teeth grazed his earlobe, Jamie cried out. White-hot pleasure surged through him as his body spasmed, release coating his stomach. Caleb held him as he trembled, one arm wrapped around his middle, the other firmly coaxing every last drop out of him.
He kissed Jamie’s cheek, then his neck, but all Jamie could do was lie boneless against him. The tight ache of anxiety seeped out from his chest.
“Caleb…,” he slurred, turning around to see smoldering brown eyes and a clenched jaw.
“Yes, baby. I’m right here.”
Baby.
Once again reaching for Caleb’s erection, Jamie said, “I want to—”
Before Jamie could do anything, Caleb lifted him and tucked him in under the covers. He stood quickly and kissed Jamie’s cheek. “Take a nap, okay? You need it.”
“But…” Jamie blinked his eyes shut, the tension in his body replaced with warm, cozy contentment. As the door clicked shut behind Caleb, he fell into the best sleep he’d had in months.