Chapter 30 #3
“Yes, it is.” Jamie’s cheeks were pink now, his curls falling into his eyes as he jabbed a finger toward the laptop screen.
“I love you, and I want to do this for you. I am your—” He stopped himself abruptly.
His shoulders fell as the anger drained from him, and his eyes became watery.
“I’m your partner,” he finished quietly.
“This is what partners do for each other.”
Caleb felt something squeeze painfully in the center of his chest. “Okay.”
Jamie’s lips twitched, the faintest flicker of triumph. He stood, grabbed Caleb’s laptop off the table, and shoved it into his lap.
“Then two tickets to America, please.”
Letting out a quiet breath through his nose, Caleb returned to the kitchen table and opened the airline page again. Jamie settled back onto the couch, grabbing his book from the side table and tucking one leg beneath him.
Two tickets from London to Pittsburgh, plus a rental car to drive to Youngstown. Seeing Jamie’s name next to his made some of the bone-deep dread dissipate. The trip still made him want to vomit, but knowing he’d get to hold Jamie at the end of each day helped.
For some reason, it felt like it might be different if Jamie had a ring on his finger. Like if they were officially engaged again—if there was something visible there—his dad might keep his mouth shut. Might treat Jamie like family instead of just… Caleb’s boyfriend.
It was a stupid thought, because no amount of jewelry could define his love for Jamie. But, still. He knew his father and could safely assume there would be some nasty comments about it.
Across the room, Jamie’s nose had already disappeared into his book.
A few minutes later, he stretched his arms above his head, showing a sliver of pale skin, then padded barefoot across the apartment and stepped out onto the balcony.
Caleb could see him through the open door, crouching down beside the little row of pots.
“Alright, how are we doing today?” Jamie murmured to the plants. Caleb snorted under his breath and clicked confirm purchase.
Something he’d always loved about Jamie was how focused he was on what was currently in front of him. Surrounded by people glued to their phones, Jamie would stare up at a tree or sniff a flower. It was one of the billion things Caleb adored about him
It was precious seeing how invested Jamie got each year in his little herb garden Caleb planted for him.
This year, though, he was extra excited, probably because it felt new to him.
Staring out the balcony door, Caleb simply watched Jamie for a moment.
The way the late afternoon sun lit up his curls and the soft linen shirt.
God, he loved that man.
Rubbing his jaw, he pondered offering Jamie a slow, lazy blowjob after this. It felt like that kind of day.
His phone buzzed against the coffee table, and he jogged over to pick it up.
“Hey Ang—”
“Caleb.” Her voice sounded upset. Glancing at the clock, he remembered that they had a team meeting today to go over film. It had probably just ended.
“What’s wrong?” An exhausted huff crackled through the line, causing his heart to race. “Ang—?”
“Today was really bad.”
Caleb frowned. “What happened?”
“Sally and Coach got into it. Really into it.” Angie sighed. “Apparently, he made some comment about her talking about her dating life. At practice.”
Caleb felt his jaw tighten. “Jesus.”
“It’s getting bad,” Angie said quietly. “Have you noticed she’s not on the coaching roster for summer camp?”
“What?” Caleb frowned. “I thought the schedule hadn’t come out yet.”
“Check your email.” A heavy feeling settled in his stomach as he pulled the laptop back onto his knees and opened his inbox. Sure enough, there was a message from the club titled Summer Youth Development Staff Finalized List.
He clicked it open and slowly scanned the names. There were staff, training coordinators, and volunteer coaches. He recognized familiar names from last year, as well as most of the girls on the team who lived in London through the summer.
Notably, there was no Sally. Selfishly, he searched for his own name and found it. Caleb Reed - Youth Athletic Trainer.
Relief moved through his chest, and the feeling was immediately followed by a sharp stab of guilt. He scrolled through the list again.
“Yeah,” Caleb said quietly into the phone. “I see it.”
Angie let out a long breath on the other end of the line. “Yeah.” Caleb’s eyes drifted toward the balcony again. Jamie was still crouched over the herbs, carefully pinching a dead leaf off one of the stems. Angie muttered a quick gotta go and ended their call.
“Jesus,” he muttered, slouching back onto the stool.
It felt like he was drowning lately. Some days, having Jamie back was the only thing in his life that seemed to be going right. It wasn’t fair to Jamie. It wasn’t fair that Caleb’s happiness was hanging by a thread and that thread was a man standing on their balcony, talking to a bunch of herbs.
Everything felt like too much all at once. He needed Jamie in his arms right now before his brain spiraled any further. Leaving his phone and laptop behind, Caleb pushed himself off the couch and rounded the counter toward the balcony.
Time to offer up that blowjob.