Chapter 24 #2
He moved on. It took a huge amount of effort not to watch him walk away.
Another book appeared in front of her. Kalpana forced herself to concentrate, but part of her mind was dancing.
Sampath had come to see her. He was going to wait for her.
Even though she did her very best to remain present in the moment for her readers, there was nothing in the world that could stop the smile that rose on her face.
***
By the time the book signing ended, it was only mid-afternoon, but Kalpana was exhausted.
Her arm hurt, not just the wrist, but all the way to her elbow.
She grabbed a couple of paracetamols out of her bag and took them.
Suzie put the cold compress on her wrist for her and bustled around collecting the leftover merch and the roller banner, for Kalpana to take back with her.
A few seconds later, one of the shop assistants came in and said to Suzie, ‘Yes, he’s still here.’
Kalpana raised her eyebrows. She hoped they were talking about Sampath, but it could be anyone.
‘Your handsome visitor who said he’d wait. I thought I’d check if he was still here,’ said Suzie. ‘Is he … someone you want to meet? Or should we be smuggling you out so that he doesn’t see you?’
‘I want to meet him.’ The words tumbled out of her too fast. She took a breath. ‘Yes. It would be good to say hello.’ Now that she’d seen him again, she couldn’t go back to pretending that she wasn’t missing him.
Suzie made a big show of packing up the posters and flyers. ‘Who is he?’ she asked, her voice thin with the effort of keeping it casual.
‘He’s a friend,’ said Kalpana. ‘I haven’t seen him in a while and it would be nice to catch up.’ This was the understatement of the century. Her heart had picked up pace and suddenly she wasn’t tired anymore. ‘Where … where is he?’
‘In the café,’ said the assistant, whose eyes had lit up. ‘He’s sitting there with a coffee, reading your book. He’s holding it so that everyone who walks in can see the cover.’ She grinned. ‘Two photos of him have already appeared under #hotguysreading.’
Suzie pulled out her phone. ‘Hmm. Lots of clips of you talking to him. Oh, oh! And some speculation that he might have been the inspiration for one of your heroes because of the way you looked at him.’
‘What? Let me see.’
Kalpana stared at the screen. It was a reasonably clear shot of her face during the moment she looked up.
Even she could see how her face changed from polite and resigned to absolutely delighted and the awkwardness that followed a few seconds later when she got control of herself again.
Tentatively, she scrolled down the comments.
‘I wouldn’t look at the comments,’ said Suzie. ‘No good comes from the bottom half of the internet.’
There was speculation that he was a former lover, or the one that got between her and Marcus. Kalpana snorted. ‘He didn’t come between us. Marcus not being able to keep it in his trousers came between us.’
Suzie said, ‘Like I said, ignore the comments.’
‘What do I do?’
‘About this viral moment? Nothing,’ said Suzie.
‘Let’s just hope it sells some books.’ She took her phone back and scrolled.
‘Ah good. Someone’s reposted the shot of him reading in the comments.
Nice picture of the cover too. Good.’ She looked up.
‘If you’re asking me what to do about talking to him … ’
‘I can tell him you’re done and you’ll meet him out the front,’ said the shop assistant, who seemed almost as excited about the whole thing as the internet was.
‘Yes, please,’ Kalpana answered before Suzie could say anything.
Suzie laughed. ‘The taxi we booked will be here in fifteen minutes! Go on. Go meet your man.’
‘He’s not my man.’ But she shot to her feet and grabbed her bag. ‘Thanks for today, Suzie. And thank everyone in the shop for me, too.’
Suzie shooed her away, still laughing.
The minute she stepped back into the shop, two readers found her.
‘We love your books,’ one of them said.
She grappled with the need to see Sampath with the need to be nice to her readers. Kalpana stopped for a few minutes to talk to them, then said, ‘I have to run, I’m afraid …’ and literally ran.
She found Sampath helping the shop assistants put the tables back. They seemed to be chatting about cosy fantasy books.
When he saw her, Sampath smiled and Kalpana’s whole world wobbled.
She wanted to throw herself into his arms, but the way they’d left things last time meant that she really couldn’t.
They exchanged awkward platitudes about the event.
Then someone appeared and told them that Kalpana’s taxi had arrived.
‘Oh,’ Kalpana said. She hadn’t had the chance to say a single useful thing to Sampath. She wanted to talk to him, but not with all these people watching, barely concealing their amusement. ‘I … I should go.’
‘I’ll help you get the stuff to the taxi,’ said Sampath. ‘You can’t carry them with that.’ He nodded towards her hands – she had almost forgotten that she was pressing a cold pack against her right wrist.
‘Thank you, that’s very kind.’
He picked up her roller banner. She pointed out her big bag of merch and display stands. He picked that up in his other hand.
As they walked out of the shop, she said to him, ‘Did you know, you’ve gone a bit viral as a hot guy reading books?’
He gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘Will it help sell more books for you?’
That was the moment she understood that she loved him. Hope rose that he might love her too. When they got to the car, she said, ‘I’m going to need help getting this stuff out of the car at the other end. Would you mind coming with me?’
She could swear she heard a giggle somewhere behind her. She didn’t care.
Sampath said, ‘Sure.’
On the ride home, they sat with the bags in between them. For the first few minutes, she didn’t know what to say.
‘Kalpana,’ said Sampath. ‘I’m sorry about turning up today. I know you asked me not to. Did I make things awkward for you?’
‘No. Not at all. I’m glad you came.’
He nodded and the silence returned.
Now that they were here, the doubts came back. When she had kissed him, he had rejected her. He was kind and helpful and she’d mistaken that for something more. Here he was, helping again.
This would be a great chance to tell him how she felt, but she didn’t know where to even start. She was meant to be good with words.
Sampath said, ‘I handed in my notice at the wedding agency.’
‘Was it because of me and Marcus?’ She felt bad if she’d cost him his job.
‘A bit,’ he said. ‘But also, it was time. The company was all about the money and less about what people wanted. And that’s not what I went into the business for.’
Which sounded terribly idealistic, but he was a little starry-eyed about certain things. Like joy. But then again, if you couldn’t be idealistic about joy what could you be idealistic about?
‘What are you going to do instead?’
‘Oh, I’m not quitting the industry,’ he said. ‘Just leaving this particular company. I’m looking for another job. I have wedding experience and corporate event experience. I’m sure I’ll find something.’
So confident. If it were her, she would have second-guessed herself and talked herself out of it. Kalpana frowned. If it were her, she would have stayed where she was and put up with crap because she didn’t have the nerve to step out of her comfort zone like that.
The journey back to hers was not far. She had only taken a taxi because she couldn’t carry the stuff on the Tube, so it wasn’t long before she was opening the door to her flat and letting Sampath in with the bags.
Standing by the door, she looked at the flat with horror.
She hadn’t been expecting guests, so there were dirty dishes next to the sink and paperwork all over her small table.
Blankets that she’d cocooned herself in were in a heap on the Ikea sofa.
Because her kitchen, living and dining rooms were all in one open-plan room, there was no hiding anything.
‘I’m sorry about the mess,’ she said.
‘I’ve seen worse,’ Sampath said. ‘Where do you want me to put these?’
They went into her tiny office, but that was an even bigger mess, so she said, ‘Just put them down in that corner. I’ll deal with that later.’ She stepped into the kitchen and slowly undid the cold compress around her wrist. When she flexed it, she winced.
Sampath stepped closer. ‘Do you have any anti-inflammatory gel or something?’
‘Yes. It’s in there.’ She pointed to the cupboard. The cold compress had warmed up a little in the time they’d taken to get there. She put it in the freezer and took out a fresh one.
‘Shall I?’ Sampath had found the gel.
She should say no, but she was tired and now that she was thinking about it again, her wrist and arm really did hurt.
‘Yes, please,’ she said and the smallness of her voice made her ashamed.
‘Why don’t you sit down.’
She took a seat at one end of the sofa. Sampath knelt on the floor in front of her.
She held out her arm. He balanced it on her knee and, holding it steady with the fingers of one hand, squeezed some of the gel onto it.
The gel was cold, but the places where his fingertips touched her skin burned.
She watched his fingers move as they gently spread the soothing gel over her wrist.
‘You’re well prepared for this,’ he said. ‘Do you get this pain a lot?’
‘I’m a writer. I always have low-level RSI. It’s okay, most of the time. But if I sign a few hundred books like I did today, then it flares up.’ She passed him the fresh cold compress. He picked her hand up to wrap it around the wrist. When it was secure, he didn’t let go of her hand.