Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
“I never planned to marry. I never met a man worth the effort. But that was before I met Thomas.”
—excerpt from the unpublished memoir,
Darling, I Must Say by Gloria Hayes
That afternoon, I waited to pick up Hallie as usual, and when she appeared, I knew immediately something was wrong. With her scrunched shoulders and downturned head, she looked like a kid version of a walk of shame. I didn’t like it.
“What’s up?” I asked, keeping my voice light. “Bad day at the office? Not enough glitter for your craft project?”
“Yeah,” she said, her voice quiet. “I just want to go home.”
“Okay then.” It didn’t take a master liar to figure out there was a story but I wouldn’t push her. She’d tell me when she was ready. “Let’s go home.”
Before we could leave the building, Hallie’s group leader, Jolie Summers, called my name. “Can I speak to you for a just a moment?”
“Sure.”
Jolie was close to my age and although we’d never hung out together as kids, she’d always been nice to me. She tipped her head to Hallie. “Privately.”
“Oh, right.” I turned to Hallie. “Miss Jolie and I are going to talk for just a minute. You want to play on my phone?”
Hallie nodded, her eyes darting between the two of us. Slowly, she took the phone. “Okay.”
After Hallie wandered over to a bench and sat, I turned to Jolie. “Is everything okay?”
“I wanted to let you know that something happened at lunch today.” She gave me a small smile. “I wasn’t there but after lunch, Hallie didn’t come back. A few of the staff and I searched for her. I found her in the girls’ bathroom, locked in a stall, crying.”
Crying? Someone had made Hallie cry? “Do you know what happened?”
“Not really. She didn’t want to tell me and I didn’t want to force it but I’m afraid it probably has to do with a group of girls…”
I was shocked by the wave of protectiveness that came over me. “Let me guess? Audrina?”
“I can’t tell you who. It’s against policy but…” As her voice trailed off, she nodded. “Whatever they said, it wasn’t nice.”
“Did you tell her parents about this?”
“I don’t know what to tell them if Hallie won’t tell us what happened.”
She did have a point there. But still, me, her, and the fly on the wall all knew who had upset Hallie.
“Hallie’s such a sweet girl,” Jolie said. “But she’s new to town and it can be a struggle.”
“That does not mean they get to make her cry,” I snapped. My hands curled into fists. Between the uncomfortable drive home from the wedding with Abe, Ellie practically ushering me out of the Sit-n-Eat door, and now my girl crying, today was turning out to be a real crapfest.
Jolie shuffled back a couple of steps. Maybe I’d been a little too forceful there. “I just wanted you to know. Could you pass it on to her father? I’ve got to… go.” With a small wave, she turned and practically ran to safety.
“Hallie, let’s go,” I said.
She scurried over to me, her eyes wide. I stomped down the sideway to the car, Hallie half running to keep up with me.
“Iris, are you mad at me?” she asked.
I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and crouched down to her eyelevel. “No, no, I’m not mad at you. Can you tell me what happened today?”
“Okay,” she whispered. “All the other girls were talking about the pageant and I was real quiet and just ate my lunch.” She sniffled. “And then Audrina said in a really loud voice that I wasn’t signed up because I knew I wouldn’t ever win because I didn’t look like a pageant girl.”
“Okay,” I said calmly but inside, my anger was reaching levels it hadn’t in a while. “Then what?”
“She said her stepmom told her I’m not the right kind of girl for the pageant, that none of the dresses would look good on me because I was too big and didn’t look like all the other girls.
I wanted to cry but then I remembered what you told me so I stood up and told her that wasn’t true because I could be pageant girl if I wanted to. ”
“I said that?”
She nodded, her ponytail bouncing. “But Audrina said her stepmom said that it was a good thing I didn’t sign up because I would be an embarrassment. And I didn’t know what to say so I just ran into the bathroom so I could cry without her seeing me.”
“Oh, honey.”
Her face crumpled; tears filled her eyes. “I don’t want to be an embarrassment.”
My heart broke right there on the sidewalk in front of the Lutheran church. “Hallie, you are sunshine and light and don’t let anyone, anyone, dim your light, you understand?”
With a deep breath, I stood and turned away from Hallie so I could get myself under control. What was the level above rage? Because I think I was there. Make fun of me, I can handle it. But to speak about a nine-year-old this way? Oh, hell, no.
Call it luck or divine intervention but at that moment, Megan Tillman happened to walk into my line of sight. She had Audrina with her, and they were laughing at something, looking cool and breezy and not like they hadn’t just ripped a kid’s heart out.
“Yo, Megan,” I yelled.
Megan stopped and looked over at me, frowning.
“Hallie, stay here for a minute.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I gotta take care of something.”
I stalked across two rows of parked cars until I was a few feet from her. “We need to talk.”
“I only have a minute,” Megan said, moving several feet away from Audrina. I followed, staying right on her heels. “We have mani/pedi appointments.”
“Fine. I’ll be quick.” I tried to sound as calm as possible. I didn’t want to hit the woman (okay, yes, I did), I only wanted to get her kid to stop making fun of my kid. Not my actual kid but kind of my kid, at least for the summer. For these purposes, she was my kid.
“Well?” Megan crossed her arms. Over her shoulder, I could see Hallie on the sidewalk, using the collar of her shirt to wipe tears from her face. Another punch of anger hit me. Nobody made Hallie cry on my watch.
“I’m getting tired of Audrina making fun of Hallie for this stupid pageant. Tell her to knock it off.”
“Audrina is not making fun of—”
“Oh, yes, she is.” I took a step closer. “I have a feeling you know exactly what I’m talking about, too.”
Megan had the decency to look mildly uncomfortable. “What exactly are you accusing her of saying?”
“That it’s a good thing Hallie hasn’t entered that stupid pageant. That she’d be an embarrassment if she did. Says she heard all that from you.”
Megan slid a hand down her high, bouncy ponytail. Along with the leggings and sports bra, it was clear she’d just come from the gym. “But all of that is true.”
I gaped at her. “Excuse me?”
“Look, I don’t want to be mean…”
Never a good sign when someone says that. You’re guaranteed the next words coming out of their mouth would be mean. Megan did not disappoint.
“…but Hallie isn’t the right fit for our pageant. She would embarrass herself and she’s supposed to represent our town.” Then she laughed. “Could you imagine? It would be like you entering the pageant.”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten, then to twenty. It hadn’t really helped but the first thing I saw was Hallie on the other end of the parking lot, looking so small and sad, and I’m not sure what happened exactly.
The past weekend had been a roller coaster of emotions followed by the most awkward three-hour car ride in history with Abe, who I definitely could not have feelings for, and then Ellie and my job at the Sit-n-Eat and needing to talk to Mae and years of feeling like I was more burden than family member and not knowing what my future looked like and… well… I said a thing.
“I guess we’re all about to find out.”
“What does that mean?” Megan asked, confused.
“That means”—I leaned in—“Hallie and I are going to enter that pageant and prove you wrong.”
It was five minutes later, on the way to Abe’s house, that it hit me. Had those words really come out of my mouth? Had I been possessed? I took my foot off the gas and slammed on the brakes, right there in the middle of the country road between the church and Abe’s house.
“No. No. No,” I said and then repeated myself. But louder. “No. No. No.”
“Iris?” Hallie said from the backseat. “Is everything okay?”
“No, it’s not.” I thunked my head on the steering wheel a few times.
This was what happened when you cared about people; you did stupid things for them.
If I’d just stayed in my lane—hello, indifference—this never would have happened.
But no, I had to love Hallie and I had to get angry and now… I shuddered.
“Are you going to be okay? Should we call my dad?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “I mean, no, we’ll just go see him and he’ll put his foot down and then I’ll have a legitimate reason for not entering.”
“Entering what?”
“A… thing.” I put my foot on the gas and willed Mae’s car to go just a little faster. To Abe. He would fix this. I was so sure of it, I wasn’t even going to mention it to Hallie.
“Don’t worry,” Hallie said when we climbed out of the car at the shop. “Dad will know how to help.”
Al’s Auto Shop was a street over from Main Street.
The newly painted building was squat and long, with three bay doors for cars.
Hallie slipped her hand in mine as we crossed the small shop parking lot.
My sad, broken car was parked in the corner.
Abe said he would have it done by the end of the summer.
I should have asked him to clarify the summer of what year.
The shop had come a long way the last month or so.
The whole building had been painted, the windows replaced, and a new sign had been placed in the front.
Now, the place said “I can fix your car,” instead of “murder scene.”
The bay doors were open and Jeff, one of the guys Abe had hired and a lifelong Two Harter, was power washing the concrete floor in the shop. He turned off the washer and pulled off his headphones when he saw us. “Ladies, how’s it going?”
Hallie ran over and gave him a high five. “Jeff.”
“Hal.” He grinned.
“What are you doing?”
“Power washing. It’s awesome.”
“Can I help?”
“Sure.” He glanced at me. “If that’s okay?”
I nodded. “Is Abe inside?”
“Yeah.”