Chapter Eighty
I'm lying here in bed waiting for Axe to get here.
I'm not sure how long a sedative lasts but he should be awake by now.
I bounce my leg in anticipation, waiting for his arrival.
The door eventually opens downstairs and I hear two sets of footsteps so Dash must be with him.
They come upstairs and when Axe opens the door, his eyes stare at mine but he doesn't say anything. He looks normal.
“Where's Cash?” Dash asks.
“He's with Ryleigh. I thought Axe and I could talk first.” I don't take my eyes off Axe.
“I'll leave you guys alone.” Dash leaves but then he mind links me. 'Call me if you need me.'
Axe comes over to the bed and stops in front of it.
“You're not ready for sex, are you?” His voice is normal.
I definitely didn't expect him to come in here and request sex.
Instead of telling him no, I crawl over to him and grab the zipper on his pants and pull it down.
I reach into his briefs and pull out his cock.
Hopefully this calms him down. I mean, he is calm but I don't know what he's thinking.
I take him into my mouth and suck him for a bit but then he grabs my hair and bunches it in one hand to hold my head tightly in place while he fucks my mouth.
My eyes water but I let him please himself with my mouth.
When he finishes, he grabs my face and pulls me up to him so I'm kneeling on the bed.
“That will be the last problem we'll ever have. Understood?” Axe asks in a demanding tone, clearly referring to what happened today.
“I understand.”
“Good. I'm having a shower. Take one with me.” He offers me his hand, so I take it.
I don't understand the aftermaths of his anger.
He will be calm, yet... it's like he switches.
There are two sides to him and once he switches, it's like what happened during his other side doesn't matter.
I know he's not crazy but being as passive as he is after a violent moment isn't exactly sane either.
Axe and I go to the shower and we hop in.
He washes himself but his eyes travel up and down my body the whole time.
I'm self-conscious with my body with the way he's staring but I don't cover myself.
If Axe is calm in my naked presence, I'll gladly be naked in front on him.
I grab the body wash and soap up my body to give me something to do since he's just staring.
I don't know whether we need to talk about what happened. Unless he brings it up, should I?
Axe grabs my waist and pulls me against him.
He leans down in the crook of my neck and kisses the wet skin there.
He plants soft kisses around the area but when he reaches my mark, my eyes close and a moan leaves my mouth.
I feel him growing against my stomach. His lips don't stop their tantalising movements on my mark.
“Axe,” I moan. “You got to stop. You're making me...”
“Wet?” he whispers in my ear. But then he pulls back to look at me. “You say you're not ready for sex yet but isn't you being able to get wet a sign that it's okay for us to have sex?”
“I don't know.” I bite my lip still feeling the sensations from his lips on my neck.
“I think you're ready. You're just worried about nothing.”
“You might be right. We can revisit this in a few days. I should check in on Ryleigh to see if Cash needs anything,” I say.
“Yeah, bring him home,” Axe tells me, turning off the shower and reaching for a towel.
“I thought he could stay there while...” I stop myself from saying what I'm thinking.
Axe turns to me with a frown. I grab a towel and wrap it around myself.
“Elora, are you scared for Cash to be around me?” The darkness of his eyes makes me nervous. He's getting angry again.
“No, I just thought after what happened, we could have the night to talk. I didn't know if we were going to fight, so I asked Ryleigh to watch him.”
“I'm going to work out.” Axe walks out of the room.
“Wait.” I follow after him. He opens his closet to grab clothes out. “We're really not going to talk about it?”
“No, because you just pissed me off.” Axe pulls on a pair of pants.
“How?” I ask.
“You do fear Cash being around me. You just won't admit it. Where my thoughts are leading right now are making me angry so I'm going to work out to calm me.” Axe leaves the room and I don't bother going after him.
I sit on the bed with a sigh. I don't fear Cash being around Axe.
But when he's angry, I don't want Cash to see that.
I just wish I could talk to Axe in a way where he doesn't overthink everything I say.
I want him to be able to hear me, really hear me, and not go to a dark place his mind always seems to go to after a fight.
For a grown man, he does have some insecurity issues when it comes to me.
I understand why he reacts badly when he thinks of losing me since he lost his Alina.
But he sees everything as a threat. That's what I want him to understand; not everything is a threat.
We need to work on our communication. I want to make it clear to Axe that I will not let Cash be raised by an unpredictable dad.
That I don't want him witnessing violence at such a young age.
But if I bring that up, he'll just think I proved him right about fearing Cash with him.
I'm at a standstill. Instead of bothering his workout, I get changed and hop into bed, first calling Ryleigh to check on Cash.
I try to go to sleep but I can hear Axe working out aggressively downstairs for hours.